Just a dream I once had, all of it
It's true, Celestia has a lot on her plate: the stewardship of Canterlot High School has recently fallen into her lap; her dear younger sister has recently started a job at the very same high school; and the details of her romantic life are... best left unsaid. Any sane individual wouldn't want to add a child to that mix, but those adorable bright blue eyes were irresistible.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting
This seems VERY interesting!
Promising start! I'll be keeping an eye on this one
Little Sunset is just adorable... also, BLOOD?!
So a tiny, innocent Sunset falls through the portal at a much younger age, call me intrigued. I'm guessing Princess Celestia just took her on as a student, and maybe while playing feel through on accident. I'm curious as to how Princess Celestia is coping with missing her, is she orphan, does her family know she's gone? What will happen once the portal is active again. I'd love for Princess Celestia to visit EQ Girls world and try to find her lost ward someday, maybe with Twilight.
Not a bad start. Aside from Sunset's talking, I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
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Hahaha, yeah, Sunset's talking bothers me as well, and I'm the fool who decided to write it! I really wanted to get a bit more nuanced with how the portal affects ponies who crossover because I felt like the movie handwaved a lot of it as weird interdimensional magic. First thing that comes to mind: what happens when you get a creature who speaks the same language but is used to crafting it with a much different mouth. Viola.
Glad you enjoyed it!
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Trust me, I was in a similar situation when I began what would my 2 year period of writing eqg stories here. And while I'm not 100% proud of some of them, people enjoyed them for what I did during that time.
Muttering from MHA?
Curious on several levels, not least that comment about the princess's eyes. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
Im so sorry but i read Stay Away in a pick me or some accent. I REALLY emphasized the h
I love your prose; it tickles my brain in a most pleasing way.
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Ahhh, thank you! I've been working on it
D'awww, Sunset sounds really adorable so far in the story, yet I am also unsure of the year this could be set in within the human world, given Celestia is only in her 30's, but who knows. I hope she can take care of the poor girl, considering Sunset is somehow a toddler or just really of a young age or so in this.
Seems like that teacher of hers was Starswirl.
I'm trying to do something similar regarding the book I'm writing.
Its good! Good chapter and good story
There may be an excess of linguistic grandiosity in the narrative tone, but that could just be your style not perfectly matching my personal taste, which is not a sign that you should change anything. In any case, looking forward to seeing just how Sunset reacts to the return of what she sees as an ersatz Celestia. Maybe she's decided that an imitation of the familiar is better than the utterly alien experiences that have replaced her.
I’d recommend a transcript of the form as a backup, but this is a very nice bit of immersive storytelling.
Doctor Feelgood??!
You sir, are amazing!
Sure wasn't expecting this, but it's gives us a good idea of what's coming next/up.
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I second that recommendation. image hosting sites delete the images one in a while, it would be sad if someone finds this story a few years later and is not able to see the image.
Nice KISS Reference
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Maybe we have similar tastes, I like the premise and general direction of the story, but I needed to start skimming paragraphs for info eventually to keep from losing interest and putting it down.
I will definitely continue reading to get a more informed opinion though, a lot of the text was just to establish the setting, and now that it has been done maybe it will lighten up.