- Member Since 19th Feb, 2022
- offline last seen 52 minutes ago
Caladis
You cannot appreciate the light without seeing the darkness. Donations welcome. https://www.patreon.com/Caladis
Caladis
Joined 19th Feb, 2022 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Caladis · 9.8k words · 45 27 · 965 views
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Twilight playing hard ball for her daddy. Love it!
Damn, there's so much in that description I feel like I already read it.
omg this was just so fun Im almost sad that's its only a 3 chapter story
I'm loving the set up so far. Do you think we might see a prequal that leads up to this from Velvet's POV after this is done?
11805224
I might write a prequel that takes place 15 years ago to detail how the arrangement started. It would probably be a 1 chapter story
11805160
The contest has a 20k word limit so I had to make a plan for it to be shorter than my normal stories. Nothing stopping me from making a sequel though
11805325
It would be interesting to see if she was really reluctant at first, or all for it from the start. And if she was reluctant, then at what point did she start to prefer it?
11805461
Chapter 2 goes into that a little bit but maybe not as detailed as I would like. I might need to add a little more to it before I post it.
Amusingly original, yes? Indeed, rather topical even.
Wow. The non-malicious neglect route was probably the saddest one you could take. If you had Velvet also enjoying and getting satisfied with her sessions with "Harvey", then just that could be enough to get me hyped for some vindication sex between Night and Twilight. Now I'm just sad, but maybe that's what you were going for.
11806136
I'm glad that someone got the joke
11806304
The story is tagged as sad and not porn, although chapter 3 will have clop in it.
11806315
You know what. I didn't even notice. That's on me.
11806320
I suppose it boils down to one thing: Do you believe that a mare can cheat on her husband for the 'good of her family'? If she can, then Night Light is overreacting. If she can't, then his anger is justified. Of course, a little conversation goes a long way.
Well now I'm a little curious as to if twilight will be in heat or not so she could time the divorce to have kids
11806777
A very interesting question indeed. Normally. mares are only in heat during summer but with an alicorn... who knows? Well I do, heh.
11806442
Oh no, she was always in the wrong. I was just expecting a sexier story and not one this nuanced.
11807059
Hopefully Chapter 3 will be sexy enough for you.
Feel sad about the marriage ending. The consolation prize is cool though.
Okay I understand that some people might just be in it for the p*** but you absolutely have to write about where the guards give Harvey the lawsuit
11809483
It's in there. Chapter 3 should be out today, or tomorrow at the latest.
wow, this IS rare. i get to be first to comment on a story and i found one that is actually well written and isn't smut or hate fodder. excellent work. i think i just found my 3rd favorite story. i will be following your development with great joy and zeil.
just do me one favor. don't let this wither on the vine and die like the last 12 well written disappointments that broke my heart. i know night's pain as well with good authors here as he does with his wife. what we both share in common? literature and love unrequited.
well played my new friend, well played.
11809839
Chapter 4 and the Epilogue are actually already done, I'm just waiting to post it for a few days so the story gets a little more exposure on the updated stories tab. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm a big fan of stories that can have sex without necessarily being clop.
11809876
As am I, wordsmith. I do also enjoy stories with some nicely written sex without it being porn. My stories often have sex in them, but as a romantic aside from the main tale, and never the focus of the story. I prefer to tell tales and let the sex part function as a natural part of the tale.
That said, I have been quite enjoying this tale of Twilight Velvet and Night Light in a more mature fashion, and simply not cheaters for the sake of cheating.
11809930
The next chapter may surprise you then. Let's say the twist is quite... unexpected. We get more of the details from Velvet's side of the story and Twilight's solution.
A nice ending, given the premise of the story. I really did think how it might have turned dark, but this way was much more of a romantic ending. Thanks for this entertaining and less cloppy bit of incest. I do wish to read your final words now.
11810509
I'm a big fan of redemption arcs.
Not sure if i agree with her now all of a sudden crying rape.
Her taking the contract implicitly if not explicitly means consent.
11810556
That's kinda how the #metoo movement got started though. She said yes because she had little to no choice. The story kinda pays homage to that in a backhanded way.
11810556
Sexual coercion isn't something you can legal jargon your way out of.
11810605
The Epilogue addresses that. Will be published tomorrow.
Cheating on your Husband for years for your own personal gain and then calling it rape when the consequences hit you is still not something that should be rewarded.
11810637
I agree with your sentiment. It shouldn't be rewarded and irl a lot of women get away with it. I'm not sure I knew how badly that would rub people the wrong way but I'm also amused.
Night Light eats meat for libido to have sex with his daughter, no one bats an eyelash.
Velvet claims (correctly) that her editor broke the contract by having sex with her more than one time a month and pushed sex to uncomfortable levels that would warrant calling it rape, but was afraid to report it, and everyone loses their minds.
The Epilogue is really going to piss you off.
11810733
The Incest thing was pretty much clear from the beginning. (also, as long as it is 2 consenting adults and nobody gets hurt and there is no offspring which can get birth defects of all kinds and thus is the main reason for the taboo in the first place i do not care who does what with whom.)
The fact that both her and Harvey get away with it all and at least her completely and in his case mostly scot free?
Not so much. And do not tell me he is not getting away with it. No divorce, no claims against him either just as he said.
11810750
I guess you'll see. I try not to write things that are too extreme but the Epilogue will still ruffle your feathers, if your comment is any indication
glad to see that they are reconnecting was afraid it wouldn't go this way
Twilight Sparkle being selfish? Dear Faust! What will Equestia ever do? And will the kingdom ever survive?
Great tale. I do like and enjoy stories where the clop is secondary to the plot itself. This seems more to read like real life situations, even if couched in pony terms...
Sequel? I'd go for that, but I also feel that this storyline is fairly well wrapped up. Let others decide. I am working on my own tale that I have published here. But if I do see any sequel, I will certainly read it. Thak you for your imaginative tale.
ahhh a happy ending xD
a sequel could be fun, but it is also a happy ending :)
Por favor
I vote sequel.
Yes to a sequel pleeeeease.
It's a shame Flurry Heart isn't getting involved, especially since Velvet doesn't want to wait for her first heat. Maybe in the sequel there'll be some foalcon, as well as Shining joining in the group sex. We'll just have to wait and see.
Sequel, please.
I vote Sequel
Other than Twilight have might have this introduced slavery into Equestria and the other of billions of laws broken in the argument of her being the tyrant. I just hope it blows up in their face
Please add comedy to this because this was definitely a parody being on this. I don't know if you're making fun of me2 or 100% serious.
11819586
I'm at the max number of tags but I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Got around to reading this. I have a lot of thoughts on this one, so bear with me. I did like the story but I'm going to start with the things I didn't like:
I did not like the characters at all. Every single one of them is short sighted and selfish in the exact same way, which is not fun for me to read.
The train of logic for each character's decision making is strange, at best.
There is a lack of emotional weight. I'd say the big exception to this is the scene where Velvet is forced to sign the paperwork. In every other interaction the characters feel a little robotic to me.
Legally coerced sex is my fetish. I'm not kidding. But somehow this didn't do it for me. Hmm...
FLOWER
Things I like:
The world building is pretty interesting actually. I like how much thought was put into the world around this scenario.
I like the ending situation, even if I hate how it got there.
Your grammar is pretty darn good. I didn't see any glaring issues and nothing about that took me out of the story.
Little details were well thought out, you put work into this and I can tell.
Interesting things:
The attitude around sex in this world is bizarre. This isn't a positive or a negative, but it's something I'm thinking about. They think about and treat sex (up until the last chapter) more of something like food. Categorizing her mother's pussy as a marital asset, and going into detail about how he was "denied sex" for six months is such a weird and strange way to even think about this.
Final thoughts:
I liked this story, and technically it's fine. The characters think very, very differently about sex from me and seem alien in a lot of ways they do things. I would not like to read more about them, though, as I really don't like any of them. They are all selfish assholes and not in a fun way. The world, however, is very interesting and I've love to find out more about it. It almost seems like in the last chapter you tried to bend the world and characters more towards "our" cultural norms, and IMO, it isn't quite as interesting as the earlier chapters to me--even if it allows for a better ending. But I'm not your average audience, so take what I say with a grain of salt!
11826761
I appreciate your feedback. In it's own way, this has been my most popular story to date. I'd like to think that my writing is getting better and I consider your work to be exceptional so for you to have liked anything about it to me is a win.