tailsopony
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Incredibly hot. Thanks for letting me pre-read!
11664771
Thanks for giving it a read over! I appreciated your input immensely! I think it's much better as a result.
I normally avoid reading porn but this is very interesting
post nut clarity hit like a truck
This was so amazing! The power play, the games, the build up as Cadence was dressed down, just how much of a sexy asshole Night was, it was all perfect. Especially the kissing, I don't know how to describe it, it was just so fucking good.
11664998
Thanks! The story is definitely not what I imagined, but I really like how it came out. I'm pretty surprised at how many people actually read to the end last night. I was worried I dropped too long of a story all at once, lol. The kissing was one of the reasons the story is both so long, and feels different. I usually write a little too much kissing. I need an editor that wants to cut down on kissing. lol. I really appreciate you leaving a comment!
11664935
11664954
Weird, you didn't pop into my notifications.... But thanks for the comments! lol, yeah. There's definitely a few moments like that. And this is most certainly porn. Hopefully the little story contained within was fun to read as well!
If.
Night Light.
I'm really enjoying this so far. A solid opener, and a foreboding shadow looming on the horizon.
I really like the balance of Nigh Light being a deviant while also showing deep love and concern for his son. Truly a father.
11665094
Fixed! Thanks! I was worried I did exactly that throughout the story, but couldn't find any instances. And here it was, right at the beginning... lol
11665103
Night is a little complicated, but definitely has a very different idea on what an appropriate relationship is... lol
Thanks a bunch for the comments! I love comments.
Are.
Poor mindbroken Caddy. But hey, she rushed into something she didn't understood.
Considering the context, maybe you should put "should" in there.
And Cadance tethers ever closer to the edge of the precipice. A well placed nudge should be all it takes now.
You know, I'm vaguely reminded of that Simpsons episode where Lisa goes vegetarian and sends the pig flying through the air. Bart and Homer try catching it while Homer repeats ad nauseam that it's still good, even though the poor pig goes through some sad things before it's finally lost.
So, yeah. Simpsons did it first.
Ha! I get it.
"You don't understand, honey. I had to fuck your dad! Because reasons! Look, it made sense at the time."
That was one of the stories of all time.
I really enjoyed it. Seeing Cadance build all those rationalisations only for them to crumble in the end was as enthralling as it was sad. Nicely done.
11665127
Hey, it happens to the best of us. I sometimes find typos on stuff I wrote years ago.
Hope they both die horrible deaths.
11665254
Glad you liked it! Fixed all the stuff. It is indeed, one of the stories of all time. lol. Definitely one of the reviews I've gotten of all time. I appreciate all the feedback throughout!
11665335
That seems a little extreme. I mean, they're definitely not the best ponies in this story, so I could see where you're coming from. Maybe I'll write a follow on chapter where they die in a magical accident and Shining and Flurry have to hold her hoof while she slowly dies an excrutiatingly painful death while they watch. Now I want to write something horrifying... hmm...
Thanks for the comment! Sorry it wasn't to your taste. I figured the title card+the tags+the overview should have been a pretty decent warning for folks that didn't want to read about cheating. Should I have added it as a trigger warning or something?
"Prove the power of your love by cheating on Shining, if you refuse and stay faithful to him your love is too weak and you can't marry him."
....What kind of backasswards porn logic is this?
For real though, I like your style and skill, but this is a bit too rapey for my tastes. Cadence eventually going into it willingly (" " "willingly" " ") doesn't really ease the feeling of this whole thing amounting to emotional blackmail with a side of character assassination. Reading it made me feel gross and uncomfortable all morning and afternoon, and not in a good way.
Which I guess is a roundabout way of saying "this ain't my kink," but admittedly I wasn't expecting that going into it. In hindsight briefly browsing your story history maybe I should have, and I couldn't for the life of me tell you what I WAS expecting with my initial curiosity (maybe the toonbat comic panel had me thinking it was something significantly tamer), but oh well, that ship has sailed now.
Anyway, just had to get those thoughts out so I could let it go. I really do like your writing stytle though. Maybe I'll catch one of your lighter stories sometime.
--CG
11665473
There is definitely some porn logic going on here. Sorry it wasn't to your taste! Yeah, my content is usually a little catered towards some kink or another. I'm super confused as to why this is featured, TBH. Usually my more messed up stories aren't for everyone. I have plenty of not fucked up content, though. lol. Thanks a bunch for the comment! Sorry I messed up your day! Should I add some warning to this? You're not the first person to be upset by the story content, and I thought the implications were pretty clear going in. I can add a warning to it, if you think that would help.
This was a true masterpiece of a seduction story, particularly with how it portrayed the loss of innocence as being a cruel necessity once someone's come of age, particularly when they're a princess (or anyone else in a position of note). My hat is off to you!
11665479
I think it's easier to get featured these days than it used to be just because site traffic has clearly dwindled since the show ended, so fics spend longer in the 'new stories' feed and have a better chance of being noticed, and it doesn't take nearly as much attention as far as raw baseline numbers to sway the feature algorithm. Combine that with the M/Sex tags and cute cover art and you have a pretty good recipe for snagging a box spot for a while.
As for warnings, it does seem to be the trend (on this site at least) to be up-front with the kinks on display in a smutfic. I could take or leave them though, personally. I actually do really enjoy porn with plot, and prefer to judge them on those merits rather than what kinks they feature. I think that's probably what made this story impact me more than the average smutfic, that even if it bothered me with these specific characters (which is a whole other can of worms), it felt more real in a viscerally uncomfortable way that like, you can actually see happening with real people. It's good that you can make people feel things like that, even if it's not always positive things, it means you're writing really damn well and making people care enough to GET so uncomfortable. So, you know, take some pride in that part at least.
That got a little off track, but yeah, TLDR I'd say adding some kind of warning or kink tag probably couldn't HURT but I wouldn't feel like they're mandatory.
11664998
You summed up my thoughts on this story perfectly. Night is such a sexy douchebag
Very hot! Loved this so much.
I usually like CadanceXNight Light fics so I thought I'd like this, but I think Night Light was just a bit too much of a villain this time around, for my tastes anyway. Sex scenes were still hot though.
11665347
Maybe I'll write a follow on chapter where they die in a magical accident and Shining and Flurry have to hold her hoof while she slowly dies an excrutiatingly painful death while they watch. Now I want to write something horrifying.
Or, you know, just have them get caught and raked over the coals by the world. Shining doesn't forgive either of them as Cadence tried to assure herself and wants a divorce while telling Night he no longer considers him his father. Flurry, who's a daddy's girl and closer to Shining than Cadence, takes his side and vows never to forgive her mom for destroying their family. Twilight of course takes Shining's side and hates both her dad and Cadence. Velvet did in fact not know what her husband had been doing for over a decade and even she thinks it was way too far to be sleeping with their son's wife all these years, and so wants a divorce.
All this drama is hard to keep under wraps, and it hits the tabloids, the court of public opinion already cast their verdict before the legal courts, so Night gets nothing and is left destitute and Shining gets a huge payout from Cadence. The other princesses of course are disgusted in what she has done and don't lend her any sympathy, and there are even calls in the Crystal Empire that she give up the throne which she's forced to do. Shining takes over as temporary ruler of the Crystal Empire until his daughter comes of age.
Night and Cadence end up living together since misery loves company, but there's no more passion between them. Night literally can't get it up, made impotent by depression, taking up drinking and smoking and no longer caring about hygiene or looks which makes him rapidly show his age in a negative way instead of the "fine wine" analogy.
Cadence no longer has any desire for him, and blames him for everything, taking pretty much zero accountability so as to stave off the truth that she did this to herself. If she ever admits that she was the one that ruined her life, she drown in self hatred. She often finds herself looking at Night Light and thinking about killing him, but subconsciously knows that without him to direct her hatred, she'd become the target, and so just snipes at him all the time while he's too drunk to care.
Bonus, off screen, the Evil Trio break out of stone and end up being defeated once more. This time, however, results in Chrysalis finally being reformed.
Cadence reads in the newspaper one day that the newly reformed Chrysalis and Shining Armor are engaged to be married.
... Or just do a sequel where Shining and Flurry end up having sex during the convention while in their cosplay, and Shining after is so guilty and distraught that he rushes home to tell Cadence and accept the divorce she'll surely want, only to barge in on his dad railing her.
At this point, neither one has the moral high ground in the situation and decide to just stay married, but under the condition that she stop sleeping with his dad and he never has sex with their teenage daughter again.
Neither end up keeping these promises.
11665698
Wow, you've really thought this though; literally, literally.
Wow. That was thoroughly upsetting and not at all hot. I don't think that's what you were going for, but I upvoted anyway because it was a very interesting experience to read, even if I skipped over most of the sex stuff.
Thank you for writing this. It made me feel strong emotions, if not the ones I was hoping for going in.
11665347
Please do write something horrifying. Maybe this story just hit a sweet spot for me, in terms of a manipulator using someone too inexperienced to know better, but I think you might be really good at horror.
now i want to see the other side of it all, from Velvet's point of view
Fascinating read, even as it makes me sick to my stomache. I think this author has perfectly demonstrated why we have age consent laws, and why relationships with large age gaps are generally frowned upon in most societies. Cadance at the beginning of the story is naive and inexperienced, which makes her the perfect victim of a highly experienced predator like Night Light.
The story is made all the more disturbing by how realistically you portray the inner thoughts and rationalizations of the victim. The ease with which Night Light manipulates this young girl into doing exactly what he wants represents every parent's worst nightmares about their child's relationships.
All in all, it makes for a highly uncomfortable read. But I still think this story has value. If for no other reason that it realisticly demonstrates many of the psychological traps and tricks a malicious manipulator might use to get what they want. The use of the double-bind "no-win" scenario that Night Light presents with the ring game was especially welcome. In it, the manipulator Night Light, presents two options: Either play the game and allow him to sexually assault her, or don't play the game and admit her love for shining is not enough for a strong relationship and he will revoke his acceptance of their marriage. The key to double-binds is that the manipulator presents a situation as if there is only two options, both of which she loses. She's damned if she does, and damned if she doesn't. In reality she has many options, she just has been tricked into not seeing them.
Double-binds are a favored psycological trap used in toxic relationships and i'm glad that you have presented one so realistically. Unfortunately, the fact that these tactics were used for the sake of pornography makes me a little too uncomfortable to upvote but it's too well written to downvote. Regardless, this is definitely a story that will stick with me. Sooo, yay?
P.S. I recommend looking up double-binds to get a better idea of what i'm talking about.
It's disturbing.
It's arousing.
It's intimate.
It's hardcore.
It's educational.
As much and I'd question the morality of how things happened in the story it's also a reminded that sex isn't all white sheets and rose petals. It's messy, it's an experience, it's finding things out about yourself you didn't know or was never told about. And a lot of it you experience without any warning.
great writing but very much not for younger viewers.
11665704
Mostly just following things to their logical conclusion. I did think a bit more on this story though, like how long has this been going on?
Let's do some math. So, the cheating started around the time of their high school graduation, which means they're probably about eighteen. The cheating continues to their marriage. Now considering that Twilight went from a filly to an adult by this point, lets say it's been about seven years, so Cadence and Shining are twenty-five when they finally tie the not.
Then we have Flurry in the present, who's a teenager, so if we low ball that, she's thirteen. That's another thirteen years minimum the affair has been going on.
Add all that up, you get at least twenty years of adultery. That's impressive, and even more so that Cadence is sure her husband could forgive that. This is how I imagine the conversation would go:
Shining, haggard, tired of it all, looks at his soon-to-be ex wife after she had just asked him if there was any way he could bring himself to forgive what she'd done.
"You know, I think I could have, as pathetic as that might make me. At some point. Maybe I could have forgiven you if it had only ever been a one time thing. I probably could have forgiven you then. Maybe had you stopped after we took our vows and got married. If you had told me then, I might have been able to forgive you. Maybe after Flurry Heart was born, who I'm now questioning whether she's actually by biological daughter or my half-sister, I might have been able to forgive you. If I'm being completely honest, I don't know where the line was where I would have been able to find it in myself to forgive what you've done. All I know for sure is that, over the last twenty years of you sleeping with my piece of shit father, you crossed that line.
"I'm sorry, Princess, but no, I'll never be able to forgive you. Now please leave. I'm sure Night Light is waiting for you, anyway."
11665525
Glad you liked it!
11665532
Imma do that. Thanks!
11665642
Thanks for the comment! Glad you liked it!
11665643
Yeah, he's definitely an asshole. I was specifically shooting to make him a predator, so I can see how that would be off-putting. But, TBH, I don't see a situation where they hook up and it's not some kind of fucked up. lol.
11665698
That's certainly one way to take it! I was specifically responding to the commentor that wanted to see them, and I quote, "Hope they both die horrible deaths." It's absolutely plausable that Shining Armor bails on Cadance if he finds out. Not in the continuity I put here, but it's still something. It's very, very hard to let go of so many years of shared history...
11665752
I do have a few horror stories in the works. Unfortunately, if this was upsetting... then, uh, you shouldn't read them. They're worse. This is fetishy, but with a tinge of too much realistic detail to make it comfortable for people that aren't into that. They are closer to just fully intentionally distressing, and still have a little too much detail... Anyways, thanks for the comment! Sorry this wasn't to your tastes! I occasionally write cute stuff. Check some of that out. lol. I love "Tea for two", for instance. Thanks for the comment!
11666049
Oddly, one of the things that got me writing this was another story of mine about Twilight Velvet. It's absolutely not the same continuity, but it got me thinking about doing something "similar, but more malicious" with Night Light instead. Twilight Velvet's story could be fun here. The two questions are "Does she know?" and "Does she care?". They both could have very interesting answers that aren't black and white. Thanks for the comment!
11666215
A lot of my stories are, unfortunately, based on real world things. Either the characters or the situations, or something about them. For this one, I tried to remember my college days. How easy it was to throw thoughts to the side, not think things through, and get into the moment while stuck on some inane point that I would die for. It happens. People make poor, poor choices and have to live with the consequences. I saw it waay more in that environment, and there were people that understood this and used it for their own advantage. I think that's why so many people don't like this. While it's porn logic, it's... a more realistic take of a predator and an idealistic teenager's relationship. And I don't think people expect to read that. Anyways, yeah. Night presents a false dichotomy (either this or that!), and it's absolutely a manipulation tactic. I see it all the time in more innocent contexts, but it's also used by controlling people to get an answer or an action they want. As a more experienced person, I tend to identify this right away and aggressivly inform people that they don't get to tell me what I'm thinking/saying/doing. But when I was a teenager, I absolutely fell for that a few times. I see it happen all the time still. Again, this was porn logic, but it wasn't a stretch, either. Thanks for the comment! I really appreciate your insight!
11666270
I'd be wary about calling this educational. lol. It's definitely intended to be porn, but I also decided long ago that I wouldn't shy away from the gross aspects of porn. I think about it like a 60s monster movie, where they cut away from the monster and just show the person's reaction. I try to do the opposite. I cut to the monster, show it in excruciating detail, and focus on its dick. lol. It could be far more effective writing if I skipped all this emotional nonsense. It would be less squicky if I skipped the porn. This could have been a very interesting (and probably less distressing) piece by just having less explicitly lewd scenes and more cut to black. I considered it. Then I decided that it was not how I was going to write this. But yeah, glad you liked it! I completely agree with your take on the "sex is not all white sheets and rose petals" bit. I think that's something important that's often hard to capture. There's a lot of emotions, feelings, and discoveries (not all you might like) as part of it. You might discover that you aren't as good of a person as you've always thought, for instance. One of the things about fanfiction that I don't like is how a lot of these stories gloss over stuff like that...
11666351
She does say the affair has been decades long! You should write this out as a story. I'm curious how it would go, but I'm not going to write it. Thanks for the comment! Sorry if I'm messing up your day. I know what it's like to still be angry over some thing I read hours ago. lol.
11666421
No problem, the manipulation tactics you showcased and the way the victim responded to them was VERY real, and while you call it porn logic, I could very much see a young teen fall for such "child-like" logical traps. That, perhaps, is why I and so many others found your story so deeply uncomfortable to read. Perhaps the abuse pictured in this story was a bit too real. Had cadance been more of a "ditzy" archytype and Night Light more of a steriotypical villian and less nuanced perhaps it would have been less disturbing but it certianly would have carried a lesser impact than what you did here. All in all i'm glad this story exists even if i'm disgusted by it.
11666442
No problem, the manipulation tactics you showcased and the way the victim responded to them was VERY real, and while you call it porn logic, I could very much see a young teen fall for such "child-like" logical traps.
That was probably one of the main reasons I didn't like the story. Cadence was supposed to be eighteen or so, not fourteen or thirteen, graduating high school, and being molded by Celestia to be a world leader. Even if official "princess lessons" hadn't started yet, she probably had a lot of extra lessons or at least took classes in high school to go over sociology and psychology to prime her for more advanced material later. She's probably gotten plenty of talks from Celestia warning her about the manipulation of stallions who will try to coerce or seduce her into sexual acts for some sort of gain considering her high social standing. Politics is like 90% manipulating others while being able to spot when others are trying to manipulate you, after all.
The fact that she can be so easily manipulated like some ditz doesn't speak well for her political career. I can only imagine how many nobles and career politicians have tricked her into going along with policies that help them while hurting her subjects.
Then there's the Evil Rapist Night Light thing. I see it a lot and it's like, what are the odds that a complete psychopath can raise two of the most morally righteous ponies in Equestria? Pretty sure he would have messed them up pretty bad considering he clearly puts his own pleasure above anything else. If he was a good father, he wouldn't risk breaking his son's heart. The fact that he does means he would not have been a good dad to Shining, for any time being a good father inconvenienced him, he'd simply choose not to do whatever it was, thus Shining wouldn't idolize him.
Seriously, I really want to know what Night Light is thinking or his motives. Well, motives beyond sexual gratification. Like, does he hate his son? Is that why he's still having sex with his wife decade later? Why would a "good father" do this? Is he just evil? Is he laughing his head off to himself whenever he sees Shining? What's he getting out of this beyond sex, which apparently he could easily get from any other mare he wants as some sort of master manipulator playboy?
Actually, maybe I missed it, but what's Cadence's justification for still having sex after so many years. If the initial logic was to gain experience to avoid being manipulated into sex later, what's the logic after she's already gained the experience Night Light had to teach her?
Whole story felt like porn with a flimsy plot stitched on, but I suppose when 99% of porn lacks even that much, this shines like a paragon of good writing.
Though I admit, I only read the first and last chapters, and skimmed through the rest, so maybe I'm missing something that makes this story actually decent.
[Edit]
All in all, you should probably give the story the Dark Tag as it's about manipulation, adultery, and corruption of morals. All very dark themes.
11666466
Yes, I did find it odd how such a prideful and powerful pony would so easily go along with Night LIght's moves, especially after she realized the full purpose of the ring game. But I suppose that just illustrates the effectiveness of the double-bind NIght Light put her in. By questioning her love for shining armor and therefore her pride as princess of love he was able to turn her pride against her. "If I back out now my pride as a pricess will be tarnished." Yes the logic is child-like, but since cadance in this scene is written as a wide-eyed, naive young virgin who had complete confidence in her love, the character fits with this logic, almost uncomfortably so.
In addition by using this particular double-bind no-win scenario on Cadance, Night Light is essentially giving her an out from personal accountability. Essentailly saying: "look i've caught you in a dirty trick so you don't really have to be guilty about what we're doing." She can tell herself she is "trapped" and that she had "no other choice" to indulge her curiosity. (After all, what teenager isn't curious about sex?) Night Light understands these psychological impulses far better than she does and uses them against her.
This story really does come uncomfortably close to real abuse and cheating cases.
11666466
I will say that this had a dose of porn logic. Haven't been shy about that. lol. But, after checking the tag definitions again, I'm pretty comfortable that this doesn't qualify for a dark tag and instead qualifies as drama, which is what I marked it as. Nobody dies, and even the character most impacted (Cadance) isn't suffering a grim fate or anything (within the context of the story). She's more frustrated that she can't talk about it with the person she wants to most (Shining). It's soap opera level "darK", which is exactly what the drama tag is for.
The logic for continuing the relationship, as she gets at, is that they both enjoy the activity. Frankly, they aren't very good people/ponies within the context of the story. As far as a rapist Night Light, there really is no reasonable other way to frame the relationship between what's equivalent to a 40 year old with an 18 year old who is dating his son. Which is why you probably see so many rapist Night Light x Cadance pairings. I just don't see a healthy ship there, no matter how you cut it. So, uh, if you don't like that kind of content then I'd recommend toning back those tags+porn, unless you're willing to accept a little (a lot?) OOC behavior. Honestly every porn story is OOC. lol.
And I hate to say it, but I've seen people in their mid 20s manipulated by shit exactly like this. It's easy to say "What a horrible, childish decision" (And you're not wrong), but so many people get divorces because they simply like having sex with people that aren't their partners and make exactly this horrible childish decision. Historically speaking, in real human history, a metric ton of kings and queens caused all kinds of political drama explicitly because they lusted after something/someone they shouldn't. I've seen it happen with people that aren't kings and queens. Entire families getting destroyed because they find out that dad has 3 mistresses, or a second family. Or that mom really, really gets along with her daughter's boyfriend. This is everyday stuff, frankly, just in the context of characters where I'll admit it's a bit silly, and with gratuitous porn included. Brains go out the window when the pants come off (and that isn't porn logic, unfortunately).
"Though I admit, I only read the first and last chapters, and skimmed through the rest, so maybe I'm missing something that makes this story actually decent."
Fair enough. If you don't like the concept then I really can't recommend reading it. You're not going to like the content! I have less dicey stories. I like Tea for Two, and I think it needs more people to read it! It's 100% tame. Morel Lunatics is drama (and porn!) that shouldn't be too far over the line. The character considers doing bad things, but thankfully loses their nerves and instead has feelings. Ascension|Descention (Which I know is not a word) is kind of a strange adventure story with no explicit content, but a bit of implied content. Unfortunately, my bread and butter content is stuff that's really, truly deserving of the dark tag as the dark tag is described. So, uh, don't read that stuff if this upsets you. Sorry if this did!
11666479
This is porn, so don't worry too hard about it. But yeah, it was definitely him not so discretely playing up that she was the princess of love. He's an asshole who chooses his words carefully, and Cadance is intentionally pitted against "love" in a false dichotomy posed by Night. The characters and arguments are different, but I have absolutely seen something like this with, uh, people in their mid 20s. Watched a 6 year relationship that was in their engagement explode from one of these, actually. The "victim" was an airheaded 20 something guy, whom I considered my friend, but wasn't the most forward thinking individual. The next day was very much an "Oh fuck, what did she make me do?" sort of day for him while he tried to blame anyone but himself. Was he at fault? Absolutely. Was it at least 85% manipulation on her part? As someone that knew both of them, also absolutely. Anyways, this story is definitely fantasy about fantasy characters. But, I mean...
Your perception as a writer might be warped though, because for a less desensitized reader it certainly falls into 'dark' category as described in the tags ('bad guy' wins, and strictly saying, no one in the story is pleasant. Shining who is painted as pretty much an infantile included. Objective evil prevails while good does nothing). Also because it is realistic (though it is still disputable, in context of the setting), Cadance's fate is pretty grim. Maybe especially because it is realistic, the reader often wants an escape from reality, after all, and this is a discussion about infidelity wrapped in a cynical porn story
Regarding the story itself, I've liked the message and presentation, kudos! Especially I've liked the take in your reply here, manipulation really can be seen as very crude from outside point of view, but when it works, it works. Strong emotions bind people together better than steel
This is so complex and creative. I love this slow seduction. Damn, I'm jealous.
So, I wrote a story where Night Light and Twilight Velvet seduce Cadance a few years ago, and I can say with certainty that yours is miles ahead in terms of actual seduction as well as creativity and ideas and storytelling. This reads like a Phil Phantom story, or an AnonyMPC Phil-inspired story. So good. You have real talent.
Oh, my god! This is insane in the best possible manner. :D :D :D Cadance, you have no idea what you've gotten into, have you?
Night Light's a bastard, but he's got his good points and qualities, too. Quite well-rounded.
That was a good story. I'm glad Cadance caved and learned to enjoy it. I think the idea of her eventually introducing Flurry to more grown up activities is a hot follow up. And I love the little hints that their relationship continued on regularly afterwards.
Edit: I can't stop thinking about this story. I think it'll affect my whole day. 👍
This was well written, and the ends justifies the means. I don't mind stories of Night and Cadence but this one felt a little rapey. He tricked her and forced her. She only gave in after the fact. The fact that she's still doing it years later while married is almost like Stockholm syndrome.
This kind of makes want a darker spin off with Night trying to do the same thing to Flurry Heart, but Shining catches him, and kills his own father.
Cadance, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. :D
11666626
We'll have to agree to disagree on whether this is dark. The story about how Light and Velvet intentionally ruined a serious relationship just for the fun of it was dark enough, I'd say.
Regardless, you failed to address something else, both in the story and the response. What was Night Light's motives?
See, while we hear his reasons given, and Cadence's thoughts on him, we never actually get anything from his perspective. After all, he's a master manipulator and Cadence his mark; anything he says needs to be taken with a healthy dose of skepticism.
I believe the story would have benefited greatly from a final epilogue that would have been from his perspective. I can even think of an easy way to frame it. Night Light and Velvet waiting at the station for Shining and his family's train to arrive, and while they wait, we read Night Light's musings on what's to come and his thoughts about what he's doing, culminating with the train's arrival and him locking eyes with Cadence as she steps off, and we get his final line summarizing what he thinks of her.
This would be greatly insightful for his character and do a lot to answer any lingering questions about the story, because frankly, I refuse to believe his affair with his daughter-in-law is purely sexual. It wouldn't make any sense.
Think about, why do people cheat? More often than not, it's because they gain something from the second partner that they don't from their primary one. For instance, I could see Cadence going back to Night Light because, while Shining satisfies her emotional needs, he doesn't do the same for her sexual ones. It's clear in this that Cadence likes rough, demoralizing sex and Shining is probably a very gentle lover who can't bring himself to treat her the way she desires in the bedroom. Hence letting Night Light use her like a piece of meat.
The same can't be said for Night Light, though. You said it yourself, Velvet is the one that "butters his bread." All of his purely sexual needs are most likely being met by Velvet, and considering they're rich, retired, and have no children in the house, I doubt there's not many times where Velvet isn't available to sate his carnal desires with.
So what does he need a mistress for? More than that, why choose such a risky mare to fill the role? After all, he's a master of seduction, he could easily have just about any mare he wanted in Canterlot. It'd be more convenient than having one across the country, and if he got caught with some random mare, it wouldn't really affect his life as Velvet wouldn't care. Being with Cadence though risks shattering his son's heart and tearing his family apart, so why is she worth the risk?
I thought about it, and came up with what I would make his motives be. It's simply that Night Light hates love. Or at least, the general view of it by the masses. It's not like he doesn't think it's real, just that everyone is wrong about it but him.
How he developed this mentality can come in many ways, though since we never see Twilight's grandparents, I'd go with the idea that his family was broken up by a homewrecker in his youth. Imagine a young Night Light with two loving parents and a idyllic life. He looked at his parents and saw two ponies who loved each other with all of their hearts. He was sure they'd always be together.
Then some random stranger came by and seduced one of them, and the other found out about it. With barely any effort at all, this stranger caused his parents to split, their love turned to hatred, and his perfect life torn to pieces. Sitting it the wreckage left in the wake of this pony, Night Light realized something. If the love between his parents which he thought was strong and eternal could so easily be destroyed, then love itself must be incredibly fragile.
Yet, Night Light still hears the poetic rhetoric around him all the same. "Love is powerful. Love is pure. Love is beautiful." It annoyed him to no end, and soon, he set out to prove it all wrong. That's why he began targeting mares in couples. He didn't actually care about the sex. Every time Night Light seduced another mare and destroyed another relationship, it reaffirmed his belief that love was weak. If a love could be destroyed by a few honeyed words, a couple sensual touches, and a night spent with him, then it just proved how pathetic love is. If it can be destroyed by him, it deserves to be destroyed.
His relationship with Velvet began as he saw her as a kindred spirit, someone he could be his true self around and share his exploits with. She proved time and again with her own actions how correct his beliefs are.
Night Light was so sure his was the only true view of love until Cadence came along. An alicorn princess of love. It didn't make any sense to him. Celestia, he understood. Of course an immortal, powerful pony would embody something that was equally eternal and powerful. But the Princess of Love? That made as much sense to him as being the Princess of Wishful Thinking and Daydreams.
Cadence was like the living embodiment of every lie society told themselves about love.
That's why, as even Cadence notes, Night Light hates her. You never give a reason why that would be the case, and this is what I came up with. He seduced Cadence because it was the ultimate affirmation of his belief that love is weak. He loves to dominate her, be rough and overpower her, make her feel weak, because it proves to him that Love itself is weak. The self assurance he gets every time he sleeps with her, making her betray her vows, reminds him that He Is Right. That's what he's willing to risk so much for.
Even then, to him, being the Princess of Love means she's weak and of little value, and while it would destroy their marriage and Shining's heart if the truth ever came out, he's alright with that outcome because Shining is too good for her. Shining is powerful, both magically and physically. He's intelligent, talented, handsome, inheriting good looks from both parents. Shining is practically the perfect stallion, and his only failing is that he shares the same naive perspective on love as the foolish masses.
Frankly, if the affair was found out, even though it would mean Shining would hate him, Night Light could at least take solace in the fact that Shining would finally realize the truth about the fragility of love and be rid of that equally frail mare, finally being the stallion Night Light is sure he can be.
That is my complete theory on what Night Light is thinking while fucking his son's wife for decades. He's a villain, but like many real life monsters, he thinks he's in the right.
Bonus, Velvet, while enjoying the same hobby of destroying relationships, her motives and views on love are different, because two villains in one story having the same motive is boring.
Velvet actually believes all the hype about love. It's powerful and beautiful. It's just, she has an insane ego and when she destroys a relationship, she views it not as love being weak, but an affirmation of her own abilities. To her, destroying love means that her sexuality, beauty, and seductiveness are more powerful.
Night Light sees breaking up couples like pulling weeds. Velvet sees it like hunting big game.
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Fucked up is relative. And a spectrum. It's a relative spectrum lol. But seriously, I enjoy stories that have some fucked up elements to them, it adds spice. The problem is that I'm a complete sap and when things reach a certain amount of fucked up I stop enjoying them. It makes me very attracted to these kinds of stories but I usually end repelled by as many as I end up liking. It's like a curse.
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Eh, I rather liked your take on this theme personally. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
a fantastic and spicey story! Well done!
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You may be on to something. One of my favorite reviews someone left on a story is "If I wanted to see someone spiral into depression, I'd just watch my roommate." I don't remember which story that was, but the review stuck with me, and the inferred lesson appears to be something that I've forgotten. I'll probably add the dark tag. Enough people have argued for it, although that leaves me wondering when I would ever use the drama tag. Thanks for the comment!
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I stand by that you are my favorite author on this site, and your stuff is generally miles better than mine. But I love it when you comment on my stuff! Thanks! Sorry (or not sorry?) I influenced your day. TBF, you've done it to me. The wost was that I was messed up for three days after reading your take on Cadance in the "how to" series.. I wrote some fever dream thing that's 70k words long, I never published it, and anybody I've linked it to has quietly dipped out because it's... weird. and super, super long. lol.
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Thanks for the comments! It's not quite my usual, but it's not far I guess?
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See, now I feel like that actually deserves a dark tag. lol. Thanks for the comment!
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You have put a lot of thought into this. It's possible that's his motivation. I didn't do inside his head, unlike Cadance, so it's supposed to be unclear. He's clearly manipulating her here and there, and even she realizes some of it. Some of it she really does not. The problem is that he's an actor, so it's hard to get a read on his motive. She thinks it's mostly carnal on his part, and out of some weird sadistic view on love he has for his son. Does she have enough information to really understand? Not really. So you don't, as a reader, either. Could be about power and domination, could be straight up antagonistic against love, could be that he's a psychopath or a sociopath, or it could be something else entirely. You do hit a very important point that I was imagining for him.
"Cadence was like the living embodiment of every lie society told themselves about love. " 100%, he really does feel this way about her, and her ideals. The rest of that could be his motivation for the story, but it might be a little more nuanced than one or two specific things. I don't try to write people with one motivation, I (usually) try to ascribe at least three primary motivators for actors in my stories, and a few secondary motivators as well. I do love your take on the attitude differences between Night and Velvet.
I love your breakdown here! Thanks! I don't like giving straight answers on some things because I like character motivation discussions (See my silicon hearts story where people were trying to figure out Dr. Dolphin. Just the comments is enough to get a feel for him.).
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lol. I can understand that. It's okay if you didn't like this one; it's not for everybody. That does make things dangerous, though.
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Thanks for the comment! Glad you liked it.
I love It