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After Sunset is left with no family to take her in, Celestia decides to take in the young and extremely gifted mare as an adopted daughter.
This story expands on the background of Sunset Shimmer, how she was shaped by her new found mother, how she developed into the mare she was and how she ended up going down a dark path.
Editor: Skylarking the Stargazer https://www.fimfiction.net/user/229362/Skylarking+the+Stargazer
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like It.
11773823
Thank you
I can tell my heart is going to be broken with a story like this, I hope though we get to see both sides of the coin and know the why of everything.
That picture is gorgeous, who is the artist?
11773837
I like to hit that sweet spot between happiness and sorrow and create something bitter sweet
Well. I'm always going to have my interests piqued by a Sunset backstory fic. Granted, I am rather biased.
As for my thoughts on the story itself, I quite like how you describe the settings. It grounds it, and paints a nicely vivid, colorful image for the reader. I feel it's something I need to improve on with my own works, frankly. I've swung in some ways too far from purple prose to the opposite.
I do however think you could benefit from an editor or proofreader, namely to cut down on repetition and run-on sentences. There were similarly a few instances where I wished you would have shown more than told, strangely informal dialogue from Celestia )to my ear at least), and a sudden POV change from Raven to Sunset towards the end. Also - given she's my favorite background pony, and unless I am severely mistaken - Raven Inkwell is an earth pony, not a pegasus.
Regardless, consider me intrigued. I hope to see more, however long you've planned this story to last. Filly Sunset's always a cutie, and no matter which way you choose to slice it her past will always be rather tragic.
Good God, now I feel like I know what's like to nearly die of squee and that was too cute
11774176
I'm glad you had fun with it, I'll try to make the next chapter have some cute moments
11774164
In the show she switches back and forth between a unicorn and earth pony because reasons, so I decided to make her a Pegasus.
I'm always improving on my grammar, and I appreciate the feedback, it does help me get better.
11774087
Seems to be AI generated.
This is very good. I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
11774424
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
11774457
You're welcome.
Hope to see your upcoming chapter, and remember:
Keep your dreams alive. Understand that achieving anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember, all things are possible for those who believe.
Here's a song that will make you do whatever it takes. Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/HcNcOnIkQQU?si=4GdoDWYww-Q2DrGz
11774176
It's always delightful to come across something that brings such joy and happiness uno online
I was wondering if this story would be regularly updated or if it doesn't have a schedule attached?
11777410
I'm not sure of a release schedule, but I can promise you I won't ghost, and that the second chapter is being worked on. Where I'm right now: I had finished the first draft of all the acts. but I wasn't happy with the was the rising tension within the middle of the story so I'm re-writing it. The ending is basically done lol.
Sunset absolutely guilt-tripped Celestia into adopting her at first cute glance. This will be a tremendous tale, I can tell. I look forward to the beautiful story ahead.
And so the beginning of the downward spiral begins, 😭😔
11785931
Maybe it'll turn out ok, Sunset never betrayed Celestia in the show right? 😭
I was hoping we'd get to see more of the first days, but this is still good. Keep it up!
Hmmmm, wondering on which parts of Sunset's past fits into this puzzle ...
Supposedly there was a mirror that showed an alicorn-self that caused her to turn to power instead of harmony without realizing that future visions never show how to get there, just that that vision was possible ... (a favorite fan fiction head-canon) ...
Oh no 🙄 the dreaded mirror of uncertain possibilities that only leads to failure, why can't people just be allowed to decide for themselves, there are certain points in mlp where they hammer backwards logic home and I think one of those is ambitious people don't ever succeed in what they are going for.
This new chapter is great! Can't wait to see what will Sunset do next.
Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal.
Here's a song that will make you natural. Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/V5M2WZiAy6k?si=YPFuQR-uj8i4dgAE
So Sunset is afraid that ponies don't really want her they just wanted to get close to her because if Celestia it's a little frustrating seeing that her relationship with her kinda Mom is probably going to turn bad because of something that could have easily been talked about, also I noticed this little grammar error,
Sunset Shimmer is perched on an elegant four-poster bed with intricate carvings, the rich, deep red of the bedspread contrasted with the golden oak of the furniture.
11789767
Fixed :)
This Celestia at least seems warm and inviting. Openly allowing her to call her mother. I'm not sure how far down the canon rabbit hole this will go, but I'm interested to see.
I can't tell if Sunset was adopted here or not but she's really having a hard time.
11791455
She was and she is.
These characters are getting shorter and shorter, some people are just not good at opening up but Sunset is empathy so if Celestia had told her about herself I think Sunset would have empathized.
So, how old is Sunset in each of the chapters released so far?
11792137
Filly - Mid teens
11792184
So, how much time passed between each chapter?
That little filly deserves a smack on the hoof for being a jerk to Sunset there!
Awful little brat, she is.
Sunset deserves friends better than Goss, any day
This is a mature and serious story, about a realistic conflict with both sides are partly in the right but are also making some pretty big mistakes, and the fact that we know it can only end badly just makes it worse. And yet Sunset telling her mom that she needs to get laid is nothing short of hilarious.
Pretty awesome the last two chapters, so far the fic brought me a vibe to The Fall of Sunset Shimmer (the animated story, not the comic, as I feel the animation works a bit more for what the Equestria Girls story is and in the climax of the memory stone incident supports it).
Ok is this based off the fall of Sunset shimmer by Minty root by any chance because the scene when Sunset says you don't have any friends and when Celestia goes to talk felt like they were ripped straight out of that animation, also sunset destroyed her notebook so Twilight won't be able to go in after her so no Equestria girls.
I hope this isnt the end and there is more between Celestia and Sunset
Curious if there will be a chapter showing why Sunset decided to outright bully others in Canterlot High? Did the constant times of ponies only befriending her because of her connections to Celestia and ignoring her when not having that goal lead her to snap and lash back at the Canterlot High students?
That didn't take all that long but I guess no point in beating about the bush and dragging it down with unnecessary monologue and pointless plot development, though I wouldn't mind a sequel of some kind at some point.
I didn't replace you, I never understood Celestia's logic with that one if you got a new apprentice that you like to keep around much more than the old one how is that not replacement doesn't make any sense to me 😕
In my story it was more she wasn't replacing her as a daughter. In the show, yeah Twiggles was kinda shimmy's replacement. The old "You have to fight your predecessor now" story arc.
The hypocrisy in full view. I order you to make friends and connections but I will keep everyone, including my own family, at a distance to keep from feeling kinship and pain.
An excellent telling of the origin story. Also, having Sunset come back to visit works story-wise to explain how she knew of Twilight, the elements impending return and so much more. I very much enjoy Sunset-Momlestia stories. Even sad ones. There are a few punctuation errors in this last chapter. You might want to give it a slow read through and fixed them, but over all great fic.
11800297
Thank you
11794435
Bullying is in a sense having power over others. I do not believe who the elemnts of Harmony were... or probably she did but that doesn't change her objectives in the slightest.