• Member Since 9th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

little big pony

Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....


For a thousand years, Canterlot Castle has stood as a bastion of order, hope, and prosperity for all. In those thousand years, there have been some off days.

Today happens to be one of those days. Unfortunately.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 29 )

This was a fun read. Thanks:twilightsmile::heart:

Celestia might want to get someone less bloodthirsty in charge of the guards. Considering they spent the whole night arguing over what to do with the alien and his bed and the fact the princesses were in said bed.

This reminds me of a greentext I read

This was fun and refreshing.

10/10 would read again

Yeah, I remember this one. By LaP, pretty sure.

Elitrino #6 · Jun 8th, 2023 · · 1 · Four ·

Every time you write something it turns out amazing, thanks littlebig!

Yeah it is really good but it so needs a sequel because this is too good to a one shot.

Alicorns detected movement; if she stayed as still as possible the princess would pass right on by her.

Yeah, that’s totally how it works. Nice reference. :rainbowlaugh:

as a man who has had to deal with a protocol shop and chief of staff's office too many times in my life, this chapter spoke to my soul.

i'm gonna get me a emotional support cannon.


Holy horsehapples is right.

I remember this one!
Glad to see it made it here.

It's gonna be an amusing ride.

A dumb idea I wrote last year that I haven't gotten around to posting till now. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Well if this what your dumb ideas produce, then you definitely need to have more of those :pinkiehappy:.

PFFFFFHAHAHAHA OH NO!!! XDXD I did NOT expect that twist oh my WORD I'm DYING

“Oh shush yourself, nerd.

I just did not expect that from the guard colonel but I love what it says about their attitudes towards each other XDXD

Stop. Trying. To. Blow. Things. Up.

I'm siding with Raven on this one, this Colonel is doing too good a job explaining why the guard are prone to panic and uselessness in actual emergency situations ^^;

The alien sat up with a grunt. It looked around with barely opened, bloodshot eyes.

And then just went back to sleep... man this guy clearly worked SOME kinda serious shift before crashing last night.

Once their superiors were done yelling at each other and drawing what looked like dinosaurs on their chalkboard, they’d do a soldier's duty and pull straws on who’d report the instance.

PFFFF NOW IT'S BOTH OF THEM XD I hope for the guards' sanity that Twilight or Cadence aren't visiting and that if they are, neither of them is suffering from sleep deprivation. I'm starting to think the Lord Himself beamed this bed and person into this strategic point specifically to give the princesses a much-needed nap.
I SO want to know what THAT plan entailed

"Princess Celestia knew her sister liked her spacious living arrangements and shelving for books and other oddities, and had it built specially for her. Here, follow me. I’ll get us there in half the time.”

Aww, that's really sweet!

Maxim’s frown deepened. “Sergeant. What in Celestia’s name are you doing up there?” she demanded.

“My best, Colonel,” the mare said simply.

BEST possible response XD

Oh my WORD the last scene was adorable. I love that they're all so sleep-deprived they have unconsciously formed a bond and Celestia even took him to the bathroom. And of COURSE the dingbats missed all of it. This is hilarious.

“That doesn’t give you the right to STAB it!”

“Says who?”

“Common sense and reason for one!”

“Ha! Jokes on you; nopony in the guard has either of those!”

This explains SO MUCH

Oh my word I love how this ended. XD Poor Bob, but at least he doesn't know how he was almost, y'know, murdered. Honestly I am now deeply curious about his continued adventures, he seems very nice and a kindred spirit for the princesses. And the waffle on Luna's horn, FABULOUS! Loved this, thanks for sharing! :D

Needs a “Royal Guard” tag since they are heavily featured in this story.

This was great. I just wish we could have read what Celestia and Luna said to him when they all woke up lol

Just a lovely, silly story. Great work

Oh no! There princess has fallen to the mystery bed's clutches.

Fucking hilarious way to end a chapter.

The bed has claimed another princess! Luckily there's no one else important. Wonder how they'll get them out.

NmB #21 · Jun 10th, 2023 · · · Four ·

Loved the story, light hearted, funny and relaxed

Luna; sisters share tia

“ How does a cannon in my bucking halls keep your moral up, Colonel? ”


>Thankfully, the journalist wasn’t impaled.

Stopped reading right there

This was fun and refreshing to read! The scenes of them in bed were absolutey adorable and hilarious compared to the sheer panic and chaos with the guards and Raven and everyone else. Loved it!

That's... A little bit too much

Just this? Disappointing

A very fun start hahahaxD

What does the "Office of Do’s and Dab’s" do???

Took me awhile to get back to read this, but I couldn't be happier I did. This was so much fun!

I actually thinking this could work as an episode of the show. It's got a "Sparkle's Seven" or "Between Dark and Dawn" feel to it:heart:

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