A Particular Incident

by little big pony

Three

A mature alicorn’s mane wasn’t simply hair. As Princess Celestia explained it, both her and her sister had lost their natural manes when they were around two hundred or so. In its place were literal manifestations of their power. For Princess Luna, it was the entirety of her night sky. For Princess Celestia, it was the spectrum of light in all its forms. These magical manes appeared to have minds of their own, moving and touching as if they were living things in their own right. Though, unlike living things, they had no definitive shape or size. They could be an inch or two in length, or they could grow to fill a whole room, seemingly at will.

Which, at the moment, was very problematic.

Flowing wisps of starry night mixed with ever-flowing rainbows floated along some unseen current in the rafters of the hall. The strands were so thick that Raven couldn’t see the wooden support beams. They covered the windows, leaving the room dark. It should have been a worrying, even frightening sight, but the earth pony couldn’t feel anything other than awe.

In Luna’s mane she could see whole constellations and shooting stars. In Celestia’s she could feel the thrum and warmth of the sun itself. Where their strands touched pure light formed, brighter than any candle. It was nothing less than breathtaking. Were she a pegasus, she might have flown up to inspect the whole tapestry from one end of the hall to another.

It showed her, showed everypony in attendance, that alicorns were not of mortal stock. They were beings so high and mighty that even something as simple as slumber was a grand and wondrous thing when they did it. They weren’t just ponies; they were gods.

It was a humbling thought, and made the threat the creature that was in that bed with them all the more real. If it could trick and subdue something as mighty as an alicorn, what would it be able to do to the average mare or stallion?

A small group of guard were crowded around the bed. Two earth ponies were currently lifting one side of it. Both were dripping with sweat, though not from exertion as they nervously kept their gaze leveled on the trio still sleeping. Lieutenant Glory was on her belly, a tongue sticking out in concentration as she slowly and carefully stuffed the leg of the bed into a roller skate. The mare was so focused that she hadn’t spoken a single word in almost two minutes; an unheard amount of time since the pegasus had taken up the golden armor.

Making sure that the wooden leg was securely in the skate, the Lieutenant quickly tied a quick knot with the shakes laces. Triple checking that everything was secure, she crawled backward and motioned for the other mares to lower the bed. They did so as slowly as possible, so none of its occupants were jostled. Alicorns might have been famously heavy sleepers, but they couldn’t be so sure of the creature, even with its earplugs.

Glory stood up and looked over what she hoped would get her promoted to Captain in the very near future. Everypony, from all the officers to Raven, had agreed that this bed needed to be relocated somewhere far more secure. Magic was deemed too risky, and flying the bed out even more so. Which meant Glory and her set of roller skates were there to save the day. Nopony had any better ideas on how to move the bed, so she had been given the go ahead with a pair of brave recruits while everypony else watched from a safe distance.

“Allllllllright… that should do it,” Glory said with a smile.

Walking on her tippy hooves to be as quiet as possible, she made her way around to the back of the bed. Celestia and Luna’s manes had made their way up from the headboard to encompass the ceiling above, though not all the strands of hair had gone upward. Some floated around her. She tried to crawl under them, shivering whenever some of the strands reached out to touch her almost like they were the feelers of some bottom sea monster.

One of the other mares near the bed attempted to say something, but she quickly shushed them, placing her head against the bottom most piece of the headboard. She used a wing to wipe the sweat from her eyes, then, with a quick prayer to the very mares sleeping not a foot in front of her, she gave the bed a push.

There was some resistance at first. Glory let out a small grunt, putting more force into it. Each of the roller shakes shifted, and for a second she feared the worst, but with another hesitant push the bed began to move. The wheels of her roller skates, freshly oiled, glided on the stone floor as if they were made to do so, making not a sound as the pegasus pushed forward. She motioned toward the other guards, who scrambled to the sides of the bed, making sure not to touch the Celestia’s Sister’s hair. Thus in position, the three navigated the bed toward the end of the hall.

There, waiting for them, were Raven, Maxim, and around fifty heavily armed guard.

“Come on, Lieutenant. No dilly-dallying; we haven’t got all day,” the Colonel called.

“Doing my best ma’am. I won’t want me and the girls getting attacked by this freaky hair.”

“That “freaky hair” is attached to your rulers, filly. Mind your manners.”

“Yes ma’am. Mrs. Raven, this stuff isn’t dangerous, right?”

Raven’s mouth formed into a thin line. She thought about all the times she had walked into Princess Celestia’s room right before sunrise and had been lifted bodily into the air by her mane while the alicorn sawed logs. She also thought about all those old stories of the princesses defeating mighty foes with nothing but a raised eyebrow and a flick of their tails.

“I… You should be fine, Lieutenant. Just try not to touch the strands too much if you can.”

Glory tried not to grimace as strands of Princess Luna’s mane slid underneath the side of her helmet. “It’s not me touching it that’ll be the problem, ma’am.”

The sandbags were hurriedly pushed out of the way. Maxim motioned the Lieutenant to follow as her and the other guard began to trot away, just out of hooves length from some of the strands of hair. Raven was right beside the Colonel, the bun in her mane bobbing with each step.

“We should take them to the Royal Wing of the palace. They'll be safer there,” she suggested.

“I was actually considering taking them to the jails,” Maxim said as they all turned a corner. “We have equipment that might--”

“Their Highnesses will NOT wake up in a gosh darn jail cell!”

“But--”

“I swear on everything that is good and clean I will LOSE. IT.”

As the bed moved along, the mass of magical hair above shifted. It seemed to shrink somewhat. Some of the strands floated forward to touch the mares moving the bed, as well as any stragglers in the pack of guardsmares. This caused the group to pick up the pace just that little bit more. Thankfully, it seemed, the hair didn’t catch on any of the rafters above, which Maxim had feared at the beginning of this venture.

“You can bring whatever you like--within reason-- into the Royal Wing, but we’re not going anywhere near a cell. Just the thought…” A look of sheer horror worked its way across Raven’s face. She quickly shook her head. “Myself and the staff would never be able to live with the shame, and I don’t imagine it’ll look good for any of you.”

Maxim made a face. She looked over her shoulder at the bed, clearly able to make out the creature that had both her princesses in its clenches. It was still seemingly fast asleep, mouth partially open, some strands of magical hair floating around and above its body. It looked very peaceful. Hopefully, Celestia willing, she’d be able to personally shatter that peace very soon.

“Alright. Alright. Calm down crazy mare. We’ll take them to the Royal Wing,” she said. “Where would you suggest--”

“Princess Luna’s room. There’s only one window, and it’s bigger than Princess Celestia’s.”

“Bigger, really?”

“Yes. Princess Celestia knew her sister liked her spacious living arrangements and shelving for books and other oddities, and had it built specially for her. Here, follow me. I’ll get us there in half the time.”

Raven pushed her way through the crowd of mares, huffing and puffing, to lead the pack. A number of the guard looked back at their Colonel, who just just rolled her eyes and motioned for them to follow. She couldn’t see the harm in letting the earth pony take charge for a few minutes. Besides, the mare did know this castle like the back of her hoof; if anypony could get them there with any fuss it would be her.

The earth pony suddenly turned into a servants hall, forcing the group to swerve so as to follow her. Raven led them through twists and turns; halls and lanes that they had never even known existed, much less tread themselves. Sure enough, true to the mare’s word, they made surprising time to the Royal Wing, and without so much as seeing another living soul.

Raven had just enough time to open the door to Luna’s personal chambers and gallop inside before the rest of the group charged in. The whole room was quickly checked for any unwanted guests, blinds were pulled down to cover windows, and the door was locked and blocked with a pair of chairs.

“Alright, sound off. Is everypony accounted for?” Maxim asked, wheeling around to face the group. She did a quick head count, then frowned. “Where’s Sergeant Sheer Face?”

“Up here ma’am.”

Everypony looked up. The sisters’ mane, while much smaller than it had been, was already moving to cover the ceiling in these chambers. There, amongst the gently flowing strands five feet or so above, trapped in thick locks of hair, was a very concerned earth pony.

Maxim’s frown deepened. “Sergeant. What in Celestia’s name are you doing up there?” she demanded.

“My best, Colonel,” the mare said simply.

“Can you get down, filly?”

“I’ve been trying to since I was picked up off the ground, ma’am.”

“And why did you go and let that happen to you?”

“The hair didn’t give me much of a choice.”

Maxim studied the mare before shrugging. “Well, that doesn’t really change our situation. Sergeant, you stay tight while we try to figure something out.”

The Sergeant did her best to salute, as some of Luna’s mane attempted to pull off her helmet. “Ma’am yes ma’am.”

“Alrighty,” Maxim said with a stomp of her hoof. “We’re in a much more secure location. It’s a lot smaller than I would have preferred, but it’s a lot better than what we were dealing with ten minutes ago.”

A hoof was raised in the crowd.

“Captain, what’s on your mind?” Maxim said, pointing at her.

The mare stepped forward. “Ma’am, in concern with the limited space. Is it really this safe for us to be this close to the entity? A half hour ago we were discussing whether or not it had the ability to take over our minds.”

“That’s still a worry, yes,” Maxim admitted. “BUT, if the creature here really wanted to turn us into slobbering slaves, why hasn’t it done so already? It could be attempting to lull us into a false sense of security, or the Celestia’s Sisters could be the only ones it can currently focus on. If any of you feel strange, or notice anypony acting out of the ordinary, you all have standing orders to report and, if need be, contain your fellow guard; myself included. Sergeant, as of now, you’re our eye in the sky. You see anything funny you shout it out, understand?”

“Ma’am, I’ve been waiting my entire life for this moment,” the floating Sergeant said, currently trying her hardest to retrieve her helmet, which was in the clutches of some strands of mane.

“Good lass. Now, whoever brought the chalkboard set it up so we can draw up some ideas.”

Maxim’s words were met with blank stares. The mare looked around, sighed, then covered began to rub her temples with a hoof.

“I told you morons to-- no, no. Not right now…” She took a deep breath. “Somepony go and get the chalkboard, THEN we can start planning.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

“Hold me steady please. I don’t want to fall on this thing”

“We’re trying.”

“Well, try HARDER. You’re doing a really bad job.”

“Yeah, well, you’re REALLY heavy, Private.”

Three mares were holding their fellow guard aloft with a mixture of wing and brawn, high enough so that she was directly over the creature. She had taken off all but her helmet, and her mane and tail were tied back. It was nerve wracking to be this close to a creature that was so easily able to bring their princesses low. A lesser mare might have turned tail and run. Unfortunately for the Private, her idea had been picked first, and with some of the other mares holding her up, and the Colonel watching from a safe distance, she couldn’t exactly run. So she hung there, wiping the sweat from her face and doing her best to ignore the pounding of her head.

The Private held a feather in a shaking hoof. It was one volunteered by a pegasus in the room, who, while not too happy about it, knew sacrifices needed to be made for any mission. She held her breath, just watching the creature, trying to see if it was actually asleep or not.

It was genuinely hard for her to tell. It was so WEIRD looking; the odd mixture of a form she might have seen before walking the streets of Canterlot and something completely alien. If she wasn’t so terrified that it’d eat her brain if she didn’t hurry up, she might have spent a whole hour just looking at its odd face.

“Private, will you stop messing around? My darn legs are gonna fall off,” a Lieutenant grunted.

“Yes ma’am,” the Private whispered.

Holding her breath, she brought the tip of the feather down. Navigating around horns, she lowered it to what she thought was a nose. Again checking to see that it was asleep, and praying to anything that’d listen, she began to tickle the creature.

Seconds seemed like minutes. The creature didn’t seem to have any reaction at all. Was this weird alien--or whatever it was-- even ticklish? Could aliens even feel like ponies did? A mixture of relief and disappointment filled the Private. It looked like her plan was a bust.

She was about to move the feather away and have the mares under her pull her back, when, to her horror, the creature’s face scrunched up. The Private had just enough time to register the scrunch before its body suddenly tensed.

“Achhhhhoooooo!”

The Private let out a shrill scream as the creature lunged toward her. She launched herself into the air with such force that it sent the mares holding her up to the ground. She kicked and thrashed as she flew, pawing at her face. A Sergeant managed to catch her with magic before she hit the ground.

“Get away from the bed!”

“Spears! Ready Spears.”

“Let’s get it!”

“Yeah! Welcome to Equestria, feather plucker!”

“All you all SHUT UP?!” Maxim demanded as she raced toward the still thrashing Private. “Get a medic over here. Luna knows what it did to her.”

“It sneezed in my darn face! Oh Celestia, I’m gonna melt, or have an alien baby explode out of my tummy. I might turn into one of them. Colonel, please tell me I won[‘t turn into one of them.”

“Shhhh. It’s alright, Private. Just hold still.”

A crowd formed around the Private as an earth pony in a combat medic uniform dropped and opened a large medical bag right next to her. They were all so focused on watching the doctor work, they didn’t notice the alien sitting up. Its eyes were half-lidded and heavy with sleep, and a thick bead of drool was threatening to fall from its face as it sat there, hunched over from exhaustion. The sudden movement had woken up Celestia. The alicorn sat up right next to him, looking equally tired.

Both looked around the room, then the alien grumbled something. While the medic began applying a gauze around a still screeching Private’s head, they climbed off the bed. Celestia grabbed the creature’s hand with her mouth, guiding him over to the private royal bathroom.

“Stop thrashing, Private. Let the doc do her work.”

“My eyes were open, Colonel. All of its weird alien germs are in my eyes now. I bet I won’t even get cool superpower or anything! I wanna be like the Matttttttteeeeeeerrrrrhhhhooooorrrrnnnnn!”

“She’s hysterical. Help me hold her down. Doc, can you give her a shot or something?”

As four mares wrestled with the Private, none heard the sounds of a toilet flushing or a sink running. The alien exited the bathroom, led back to its bed by Celestia, who’s eyes were already closed. She jumped up into the covers, plopping down with a horsey snort. The alien was right behind her, climbing into its bed. This time, it rolled onto its other side, wrapping both arms around Luna and pulling her close. The alicorn smiled in her sleep, wiggling so that her body was pressed up against the creature’s just as close as Celestia had been. Celestia, noticing that her strange new friend wasn’t going to be holding her, took initiative, resting her chin on top of its head and laying a wing over both it and her sister. She managed to pull the blanket over the three of them once more before all were once again asleep.

Not a moment later, Raven looked back at the bed as the medic finished wrapping up the poor Private like a mummy. Her eyes narrowed, before a small smile worked its way onto her face.

“I think I have an idea…”

Comments

[River Babble]

"Princess Celestia knew her sister liked her spacious living arrangements and shelving for books and other oddities, and had it built specially for her. Here, follow me. I’ll get us there in half the time.”

Aww, that's really sweet!

Maxim’s frown deepened. “Sergeant. What in Celestia’s name are you doing up there?” she demanded.

“My best, Colonel,” the mare said simply.

BEST possible response XD

Oh my WORD the last scene was adorable. I love that they're all so sleep-deprived they have unconsciously formed a bond and Celestia even took him to the bathroom. And of COURSE the dingbats missed all of it. This is hilarious.

[Poparakelis]

That's... A little bit too much