A sense of comfort and safety emanated from the bed. Celestia had found a suitable spot pressed right up against the strange creature. Her forelegs were pressed against its chest. The top of her head was settled nicely underneath its chin, her horn pressed against its cheek. The princess had pulled a blanket over top of both of them as well while Celestia, with a small sigh, had fallen asleep almost immediately.
The area around the bed, meanwhile, had no safety or comfort. In fact, what could only be described as chaos erupted. The guards began forcing civilians out of the hallways. A few noble stallions dramatically fainted. There was chatter, whispering, and a lot of pointing. Usually, there should have been a good deal of yelling as well, but everypony had just watched the princess fall asleep. Waking up some big, strange monster was no real issue, but waking up their hardworking princess just seemed just plain rude.
Not that they would have woken up the princess. Alicorns were known to be infamously heavy sleepers. Luna had slept through the whole Changeling invasion for goodness sake. Still, it was the thought that counted.
“Make sure nopony gets away!” Raven said, her glasses nearly flying off her muzzle as her head whipped back and forth.
Maxim tore her gaze from the bed to look at the smaller mare. “Were you speaking to me?”
“Of course I’m speaking to you, dummy! If word of this leaves the castle, ponies will start panicking!”
Maxim thought for a few moments. This was obviously a worst case scenario, but she was a mare of clarity and action. Now wasn’t the time to start running around in circles, screaming like a madmare.
“Get away from that gosh darn bed! At least a hundred--”
“Shhhhh! You’re going to wake the princess if you keep yelling!”
“Oh shush yourself, nerd. Ladies, back the heck up and make sure nopony runs off! On the double!”
The guard, clearly frazzled by what had just happened right under their muzzles, were quick to shake off their shock. They hurriedly pulled back from the bed. The twenty or so civilians that had been watching the scheme unfold had been rounded up and herded into a random room. A Sergeant had attempted to restrain Raven as well, though a look from the earth pony had caused the mare to turn on her heel and walk away. It fell on Maxim to drag the stubborn mare away.
Two minutes later, the hallway was clear and both Maxim and Raven found themselves standing behind a stack of sandbags that had been conjured out of thin air by a helpful private. Another “emotional support cannon” had been retrieved from somewhere as well, much to Raven’s dismay, and was currently pointed at the bed, as was the original cannon that had been pulled to the other side of the hall.
“Alrighty. Both sides of the hall are secured, and we’re probably far enough away that we won’t be affected by whatever that thing is doing,” Maxim said, peering just over the line of sandbags.
“Was it casting some sort of spell?” Raven asked.
“I’m guessing it must have. Probably a powerful one too, to be able to bewitch her majesty like that. Private, please hoof over that microphone.”
“The what--” Raven began, only to jerk away as Maxim turned on an overly large microphone, filling the air with ear-splitting static.
The mare frowned, giving it a few hearty smacks until the static went away. She brought it to her lips.
“ENTITY, ALIEN, CREATURE OF NIGHTMARE, OR THE VOID ITSELF. YOU HAVE ILLEGALLY STEPPED HOOF ON EQUESTRIAN SOIL. RELEASE HER MAJESTY PRINCESS CELESTIA AT ONCE, AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TAKEN INTO CUSTODY SO THAT YOU MIGHT BE IMPRISONED AND STUDIED. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN YOUR DESTRUCTION. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO COMPLY!”
Tossing the microphone back toward the private, Maxim leaned toward a Sergeant standing close by. “In five seconds, fire a warning shot right over the bed,” she murmured.
“Hang on just a second,” Raven said. “Don’t you think this might be a little… extreme?”
“Absolutely not. This could be another Discord-class monster. It needs to be neutralized before it hurts anypony.”
“I suppose. Just don’t--”
“Private Hoplite, start stuffing things into that cannon.”
“Pointy stuff ma’am?”
“Whatever you want, sport. Just make sure it’ll hurt.”
“Noshootinginmyhall!” Raven yelled, grabbing the cannon and, with great effort, dragging it toward her and away from the gunpowder crazed mares. “No. Shooting. Cannons. In. My. Nice. Clean. Hallway. Please”
Just as Raven finished her sentence, the Sergeant tilted her head downward. A bolt of pure energy flew from her horn. The sound it made was like a thunderclap, leaving a bright, golden afterimage in its wake as it flew just a few inches over the bed’s occupants. It arched upward, hitting one of the old oak beams up above.
The Sergeant could only feel the satisfaction of a well placed shot for a moment or so before an ivory hoof caught her square in the jaw. The mare went ramrod stiff, before her whole body turned into jello and she fell onto the ground in a heap.
“Mare down! Mare down!” somepony yelled.
A few spears were pointed at a now panting, wild-eyed Raven by some of the braver guards. Maxim looked over at her with a small frown.
“Wanna fill me in on why you’re trying to throw a monkey wrench in my operation there, Raven?”
“Stop. Trying. To. Blow. Things. Up.” Raven said through gritted teeth. “Ponies need to clean up after you. MY ponies. Throwing lightning bolts around is just…”
She pointed toward the bed, grinding her teeth together in fury.
“If you’d just look for FIVE SECONDS, you’d see the creature couldn’t even hear you. Look. LOOK.”
Giving the earth pony a nasty look, Maxim extended a hoof. A private stepped forward, giving her a pair of binoculars while two guards and a combat medic looked over the unconscious Sergeant. Looking through them, the Colonel looked at her royal highness. As far as she could tell, it appeared as if the alicorn hadn’t yet been harmed, which put her at ease somewhat.
She let out a hum, eyes narrowing as she adjusted the focus of the binoculars. The creature was lying on its side, its face buried in a pillow, so she couldn’t get a good look at it. What she noticed however, was something sticking out of its ear. It was small, black, and shiny. Focusing just a hair more revealed it to be an ear plug.
“...Huh. So that’s why it didn’t react,” muttered, scratching her head.
It seemed as if intimidation and flare, the usual tactics in subduing most opponents, wouldn’t work this time. This left her in a bit of an awkward position. She couldn’t exactly order any of her troopers to attack the creature, as it was far too close to Princess Celestia. Even if their attacks did land, and she had some doubt in that, they might also hit the alicorn. As far as they knew, the creature could be watching and listening, and if they made any move to attack in great numbers it might choose to hurt the princess, or spring out of its bed and charge anypony close, or any number of things.
It looked like they had the mother of bad situations on their hooves.
Maxim lowered the binoculars and looked at the ponies staring back at her. In most high-stress situations, there was always a rainbow of emotions seen in soldiers. Fear, excitement; she’d seen even boredom. As she looked at officers and troopers alike, she saw that there was no range of emotions. There was only one.
Worry.
“...So, does anypony have any ideas?”
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
An hour passed. Every military officer in the castle, all but the two that had been put in charge of the “checkpoints” at either end of the hall, stood around a chalkboard. Every mare was in full combat armor, each holding their weapons of choice.
Not only had the hallway been quarantined, but the castle itself as well. Guards that had been stationed all over the capitol had been ordered back, given a vague debriefing on what was going on, and put to work keeping ponies from sticking their muzzles into anything that they shouldn’t. Every entry and exit was blocked, and there were no less than twenty pegasi keeping any other flier from getting too close.
Ponies outside of the castle were no doubt wondering why in Equestria over two hundred guards were in and around the castle and its airspace, but they couldn’t worry about that now. If they were lucky, they could solve the situation before anypony too important came along and began asking questions.
The mares that stood around the chalkboard were some of the best military minds of the age. Ponies that had seen and done it all. Veterans of wars and dozens of battles If there was anyone that could get their princess out of that bed and away from the claws of the alien creature it would be them. At least that is what Maxim told herself.
“Now, are we SURE just sawing up through the floor around the bed and letting it fall through is a bad idea?” a Captain said.
The officers looked at each other, then at Maxim. Just the fact that no pony had, for the FIFTH TIME, hadn’t told the Captain of the Night Guard off gave the mare a headache. She did her best not to sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose with an armored hoof.
“Morning Star, I swear to everything that is kind and good if you don’t--” she closed her eyes. “Just… go and keep an eye on that bed.”
“Colonel, I know it might seem like a far-fetched idea, but in instances like these we really need to think outside of the--”
“Get. Your. Flank. Out. Of. My. Face. NOW.”
Opening her eyes, she turned toward the other officers. “Now, any good ideas?” she asked with a paper thin smile.
A Sergeant gingerly raised a hoof.
“This isn’t kindergarten, Gleaming Shield. If you have an idea just say it.”
The mare opened her mouth.
“Fair warning though, if it’s as stupid as what Morning Star was peddling I will pick you up and throw you out the nearest window.”
The Sergeant quickly closed her mouth. “Nevermind then,” she mumbled, ears folded against the sides of her skull.
Maxim frowned. “Come on ladies. For crying out loud, you’ve all gone to some of the finest military academies in Equestria. Those diplomas you all got supposedly means you have something between those ears of yours!”
A lieutenant cleared her throat. “It looks like the two are just sleeping, ma’am. We could just hold position for a few hours and try to wait them out.”
“Terrible idea,” Maxim replied without skipping a beat. “We don’t know what that creature is doing to the princess. Time could very well be of the essence . Besides, the guard doesn’t sit around! We’re ponies of action. Next!”
“We could try teleporting the princess away?”
“Forcibly teleporting another pony is always tricky. We could try that if there’s no other options, but I like where your head’s at. Anypony else?”
“Why don’t we just go over there and beat the stuffing out of the monster?”
“Because its holding our princess hostage and its twice her size, meaning its a heck of a lot bigger than anypony here. Come on, keep ‘em coming fillies. If we keep spitballing we might come up with something half useful.”
The group moved closer to the chalkboard as Maxim began drawing on it. Raven did her best to ignore the chatter. She was standing next to the wall of sandbags with a bored pair of privates, staring at the bed and its occupants. The earth pony wanted nothing more than to just walk over there and try to wake up the princess. Unfortunately for her, the two times that she had attempted to do so had been foiled, so the only thing she could do was stand there and wait for something to happen.
Sighing, she rested her head on top of one of the sandbags and closed her eyes. “What a day; and it’s not even lunch time…”
As she grumbled to herself, there was movement in the bed. The alien sat up with a grunt. It looked around with barely opened, bloodshot eyes. It let out a yawn, stretching its arms out before reaching down for the princess. It flipped the alicorn over then laid itself down, pressing its chest against Celestia’s back and laying an arm over her barrel. The princess, fast asleep, grabbed the arm and held it close against her chest.
It was done so quickly that when Raven opened up an eye she saw nothing out of place. The guards had seen what had happened of course, but neither were really inclined to tell the earth pony. Once their superiors were done yelling at each other and drawing what looked like dinosaurs on their chalkboard, they’d do a soldier's duty and pull straws on who’d report the instance.
Raven glanced at both of the guards, who regarded her without so much as a raised eyebrow.
“Would--”
“Nope,” one of the guards said, shaking her head.
“I didn’t even!--”
“We were authorized to restrain you if you tried anymore funny business, Ms. Inkwell. I might not be really into knots, but Radiant here really loves them.”
“She’s right, ma’am,” the other guard said. “I love knots. They’re my passion, my lifestyle. When I was a foal I was a champion knot maker. I was the one that invented the double hangmare twist fold when I was eleven.”
“...You’re making that up.”
“If you cross no mare’s land again I promise that you’ll find out,” the guard said, shaking her spear at the earth pony before tapping the butt of it against the ground. “We have the perimeter locked up nice and tight; we don’t want you running around and--”
*Click* *Click* *Click*
The guard looked over, and immediately the look of utter boredom vanished. Raven followed her gaze. There, just a few feet from the bed, was one of the most hated pests in all of Canterlot. It was a creature no magic, no law, no orbinance, royal or public, could truly exterminate. It and its kind were much like cockroaches, though with far less dignity. A freelance journalist, complete with an overly large camera and a bowler hat with the word PRESS stitched into it.
“Oh no,” one of the guards said.
“Oh curd,” said the other.
On the other side of the hallway, the group of guards stationed at the other checkpoint began to shout. Without hesitation, Raven snatched the spear out of the hooves of the guard closest to her. With a moment’s consideration, she spun it around so the rounded buttcap was readied and threw it as hard as she could.
The journalist, so engrossed with collecting pictures that she hadn’t yet registered the yelling, was the perfect target. The unicorn was standing up straight, with her side toward Raven and the two guards, all of which watched as the spear arched through the air in a textbook perfect throw. It would have hit the journalist clean in her shoulder had the mare not leaned down to take another picture at a different angle. As it was, the spear just grazed the fur on her back.
“Horseapples!” Raven cursed as the unicorn let out a yelp. “SOMEPONY, ANYPONY, GET THAT CAMERA!”
The journalist, realizing that she had been found out, was quick to act. She stashed away her camera in a pouch at her side and took off running down the hall. Dozens of horns ignited, and spells were launched her way. Somehow, the mare managed to dodge and weave through them, leaping over ethereal hands, sliding under magical cages and chains.
“The people have a right to know!” she shouted, eyes darting around wildly for an escape route. “You won’t pull the wool over our eyes!”
Those that didn’t have magic began throwing their spears just like Raven had. Some showed the same tender heartedness as the assistant and threw with buttcaps outward. Others were far less merciful, launching recently sharpened spear points at her. Those particularly mares remembered a rather scathing article about some of their own and their poor grooming habits and were still positively peeved.
Thankfully, the journalist wasn’t impaled. Spears bounced all around her, scrapping and chipping the nice stone floors, much to Raven’s dismay. A few of buttcap tipped ones found their mark, hitting her legs and one even slamming into her chest. She stumbled, and tripped, but she never fell, never stopped moving forward. The article she’d write about this would finally get her that job at the Canterlot Times. She couldn’t fail. Not now. Her dream of writing about nothing but where one could buy the best tea cozies in the city was within her grasp.
Raven and Maxim, who had been wrenched away from drawing three mares standing on each other’s backs while the top held a fishing pole in her mouth, could only watch in horror as the journalist leapt for one of the windows. There was a loud crash, glass flying everywhere. The mare, her eyes closed, smiled widely, confident in her escape, a thought which was immediately bashed as a pair of burly pegasi appeared right in front of her. They reached out as one, grabbing the unicorn’s front legs.
The sudden and unexpected stop made the mare let out a gurgled yelp as the guards, both covered in glass and less than pleased, flew her back into the hallway. She wiggled and squirmed, attempting to get away, but their grip was like iron.
“Get that thing over here!” Maxim yelled, scowling. “How the hay did she even get in here?”
“I think I saw her this morning,” Raven said. “She’s probably one of the ponies you shoved into that room.”
“Well, now we’re upgrading her to a dungeon,” Maxim said with an angry snort. “Somepony get that glass cleaned up, and after that we need to double check that the entire castle is in complete lockdown. Do you hear me fillies? We can’t have ponies walking--”
A door near the end of the hallway was thrown open, making Maxim jump. Out of the side-room, which she knew for a fact had been locked, stepped out the worst pony imaginable for this sort of delicate situation. The Princess of the Night herself, Princess Luna.
The princess stepped out into the hallway, both exhausted and obviously grumpy. From thirty feet away, Raven could see the bags under the mare’s eyes as she struggled to keep her head up. It must have been a long night, which might spell disaster for all of them.
Princess Luna enjoyed her sleep far more than her older sister. Where Princess Celestia could make due with a quick power nap before leaping into a hectic day, Luna required a full eight hours. The instances where that full eight hours were taken away were always bad for everypony involved. When she was asleep things were fine; it was just the point before that was like walking a tightrope without any wings.
Everypony froze as the alicorn looked around with bloodshot eyes, her brow furrowed. One of the guards sucked in a lungful of air, only for another guard to stuff a hoof into her mouth. Maxim motioned for the guards holding the journalist to freeze. Raven went very still. Alicorns detected movement; if she stayed as still as possible the princess would pass right on by her.
Luna grumbled something under her breath. She stretched out like a cat, smacking her lips together. Another guard let out a whimper, and that guard nearly lost her front teeth as an armored hoof was jammed into her maw. The princess began walking, swaying from side to side with each step. The only sound that could be heard in that hallway was the clip clop of her armored hooves against the stone floor.
She was walking right toward the bed. Just a few feet more and she’d run muzzle first into it.
Had Raven been a braver mare, she would have called out to the alicorn, but words would not leave her lips. Maxim simply watched the scene unfold in front of her. If Luna ran into that bed, there was a pretty good chance it wouldn’t be there ten seconds later. Hopefully, Princess Celestia wouldn’t be too charred after it was all over.
Luna, though utterly exhausted from a full night of safeguarding the dreams of all of her little ponies, had just enough awareness to stop just before running into it. She found herself scowling. Who was moronic enough to put a bed in the middle of a public hallway of all places?
Everypony could only hold their breath as Luna climbed onto the bed, ready to give this prangster a talking to, followed by a very thorough bashing. The bed was just a little too high to easily climb, annoying her even further. She let out a grunt as she hauled herself up onto the covered mattress, stumbling a bit as one of her backlegs caught a blanket. She was able to keep herself from falling over, but while she was able to stop herself her muzzle came into contact with the creature's mane. Her nostrils flared on reflex, taking in a lungful of a fruity, lavender scent.
Maxim watched as Princess Luna’s eyes fluttered, and she sunk down onto the mattress, all the tension leaving her body. The Colonel lifted her golden helm off her head and, examined it for several seconds as she considered both her profession, her life choices, and the harsh master that was fate. With that done, she jumped into the air and spiked it into the ground as hard as she could.
“HORSE APPLES!"