Princess Twilight Sparkle Versus The Royal Harem Decree

by SilverNotes

Agape

The legislation had moved at the speed of royal desperation.

After the mess of the Mandatory Owls Decree, Celestia had seen the way that this could spiral out of control the moment that it occurred to ponies that all princesses were covered under this law. The memories of chasing creatures out of her bedchamber with increasingly forceful methods centuries ago had her acting at a breakneck pace and invoking clauses and loopholes, the likes of which she normally only utilized during wartime or other crises, to get the patch job through.

During the process, she would find seven more old laws that would likely be trouble in the near future, and set the wheels in motion to quietly remove them as well. Luna, who'd been terribly amused since Twilight Sparkle first sent them her letter about the law, watched the entire process with increasing mirth and took comfort in the fact that, for once, her elder sister being the more popular one brought not sorrow and bitterness, but a ideal place to sit and munch on popcorn.

When the law was officially removed, they informed the newspapers and Princess Twilight Sparkle both, in that order.

The letter they got back from Twilight led to some very shocked congratulations for her grandest accomplishment. It was beyond what either could have anticipated for her, for this whole harem situation to result in such an achievement.

And once they were finished congratulating her for getting a marefriend, they patted her on the back for her successful reformation of Chrysalis, too.

---

"I am not reformed."

The words were spat as Chrysalis walked down the road, away from the castle and toward the train station. She'd been sent with several bottles of shampoo for the road--a much fuller mane and tail were going to require it, especially since no other reformed changelings had manes and so they had no supply of their own--as well as a bag of quinoa, which she had been spotted trying to "lose" several times during packing.

"I have not given up taking my throne back from you, traitor!" Chrysalis continued to hiss at Thorax, as he walked next to her, carrying her saddlebags himself with nary a complaint. "And I definitely haven't given up on taking my revenge on Equestria!"

"I know, but it'll be nice to be able to scheme from back in the hive now, won't it?" he responded gently, with a patient smile. "There's a lot of changelings who'll be happy to see you in such good health."

"Happy? Hmph." She bared her teeth, which had retained their sharpness despite her transformation. "They should be quaking in fear." She paused to thrust a front hoof at him forcefully. "I will have my crown back, you so-called king."

"Of course, of course." Thorax nodded agreeably. "But first, I want to show you all new things we've done since you were gone. I think you'll really like the flowers we planted..."

"Hurmph. Flowers. They had better be carnivorous. Or poisonous. Or both."

"Well, no, but they'd go very well braided into your mane..."

Twilight Sparkle watched them both go with a proud smile, and resolved to apologise to Trixie. She should have taken her statement of wanting to keep an eye on Chrysalis more seriously. Clearly all the humour at her expense had been part of her plan to befriend the former changeling queen and speed up her rehabilitation, and it'd worked like a charm.

Now, thankfully, the rest of the process was Thorax's problem.

"Well, it looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie's work here is done." Trixie pranced over, wearing a look of raw smugness, and Twilight found herself rapidly rethinking that apology, especially as she flicked her tail and batted her eyes. "I'm going to miss staying in the castle, but our little fling was nice while it lasted, Sparkledork."

Twilight sighed heavily, but held back the sarcasm that was on her tongue as Trixie also trotted off and vanished down the path. She owed her enough to let her have the last word, as much as it physically pained her to.

The pain was eased when she felt Moondancer lean against her, pale cream fur meshing with purple. "I guess, um... I guess I should be going back to Canterlot?"

"Well, you don't have to go right away." Twilight smiled gently, and opened a wing to drape around her. "Why don't we have a nice lunch first? As a proper first date?"

Moondancer smiled back. "I'd love to."

The moment lasted for exactly three and seven-eighths seconds before it shattered with the light of a teleporting Starlight. "Twilight? We might have a situation."

Moondancer reflexively started to move away, but Twilight gave her a reassuring squeeze with her wing, even as she let out a deep sigh. "What happened?"

"Did you ask Discord to come for a guest lecture?"

"Yes. I thought he'd provide a good, new perspective for the students." She suddenly saw where this was likely going. "Why?"

Starlight gave a wide, strained smile. "I miiiiiight have fired him with a banishing spell because I thought he was playing a prank?"

"You what."

"And now he's terrorizing the school in some kind of incorporeal form like a poltergeist?"

"He's what."

"Can you help smooth things over? Please?" The strained smile widened further, paired with a set of puppy-dog eyes that Twilight was certain Spike had coached her on.

Twilight Sparkle's horn lit with magic, preparing to teleport all three of them into the school so that she could unravel whatever spell Starlight had cast and talk Discord down from the no-doubt-furious state he was in. Along with apologising for forgetting to inform the staff about the plans for the lecture.

By the time she was finished, it would be past lunch, she'd be famished, and she'd have the two along for the ride on what had been supposed to be a date... but that was okay. It was the life she'd built for herself, bit by bit, in all its chaos, from the moment she'd first set hoof into Ponyville on that first Summer Sun Celebration.

The duties of the Princess of Friendship were never done, even for love.

Comments

[Forcalor]

"Harem mare? Goal." — Chrysalis, probably.

Good read, very enjoyed

[Mystic Sunrise]

Says it all I think.

[Spamotron]

Before people comment. Yes we are aware the pacing is a little rushed for Chrysalis’s reformation. Alas the budget was what it was. But given that limitation I think it turned out rather good.

If someone has the cash for a double length sequel to really explore the repercussions, feel free.

[Forcalor]

11584074
Didn't even crossed the mind to critique it. 10,000+ words is more than most authors seem to be willing to spare for the topic, anyway, so good enough

Not to say it is a comedy, not some drama or tragedy, to take it too seriously

[FanOfMostEverything]

Lovely work. Excellent blend of sinister plotting and hilarious shenanigans. I especially appreciate Chrysalis keeping a mostly black palette. If Pharynx is any indication, there's some degree of subconscious control there. Thank you for a great read.

[Themaskedferret]

Cute and silly. Bravo n_n

[Manr]

So each chapter is based on Lee's six love styles🤔

[RainbowDoubleDash]

"I am not reformed."

"I'm merely...lulling you all into a false sense of security!"
"And you're telling us that?"
"My plans are many-layered!"

"And now he's terrorizing the school in some kind of incorporeal form like a poltergeist?"

Ah, so a version of "Principals" still happens. Though at least this time Discord was specifically invited to the school and didn't kejigger the Map and trick the Mane-6 into a fake friendship quest. Plus like I said, even if he was kind of a dick in the episode it was by no means a deal-breaker for the character for me.

Anyway, I definitely enjoyed this story. It was cute and funny. Good job!

[Razzy]

Nice bait and switch.

Pfft, of course you aren't Chryssie.

Thorax is just happy as a plum to have his mom back.

I imagine she'll mellow out a bit after a while of not having to actively hunt for love, but losing the quinoa should perk her up a bit.

Or she'll give some edge back to the 'lings.

I'm happy that she retained most of her palette, with so many garish colour variations in the nulings, it's weird that not a single one is black.

[Mockingbirb]

11584074

Before people comment. Yes we are aware the pacing is a little rushed for Chrysalis’s reformation.

I think her 'reformation' works as comedy. It permits a sequel, but doesn't REQUIRE one.

[Moproblems Moharmoney]

A fun read, full of devious shenaniganary and heart melting wuv

[BronyBlazeFire]

This was delightful! A little quick paced but no more so than some of the actual show. The characters were very in-character. I particularly like your working of the chaos land. And despite the use of a harem as a plot device this story was strictly not sexual.
Very well done.

[SilverNotes]

11584283
11584299

I swear a few typos always slip through the cracks. All fixed. Thanks for catching!

11584137
11584320

There's definitely a sliding scale of Discord dickishness depending on what canon events a given fanfic writer incorporates. While a one-off like this is compliant up to "The Mean 6" for simplicity (with that nod to "Matter of Principals" since it comes directly after that episode in broadcast order), my usual take on Discord only has a few confirmed lineups with canon: his Season 2 premier, Fluttershy reforming him, and his having abilities consistent with "Discord's Magical History Tour" from the comics.

11584111
11584348

I'm glad that her keeping the black in her colour scheme works for folks. I took some cues from the alternate universe good Chrysalis from the comics when coming up with a reformed Chryssy look, which is why the curly mane, use of purple, and her keeping the fangs.

static.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/3/3b/Comic_issue_18_Alternate_Chrysalis.png/revision/latest?cb=20140504164633

11584145

Well, one Google search later and today I learned that John Alan Lee existed. I based the chapter titles off of seven of the eight Ancient Greek words for different kinds of love, and wasn't aware that there was a more modern framework that borrowed them. Thanks for teaching me something new!

[cogwheelbrain]

This was hilarious. It works very well for what it is, but I do can only imagine what chaos would have gone on if it had been a 100k word story. Somepony needs to write that monster.

[Hilord17]

It was... interesting.

Comedy is not my forte, nor my cup of tea.

But I do have to admit that this whole chaotic situation was a fun read.

Good job overall, and I wish you good luck with your future ideas and projects.

[Mystic Sunrise]

11584168

"I'm merely...lulling you all into a false sense of security!"
"And you're telling us that?"
"My plans are many-layered!"

11584155
.

[StubobNumbers]

This story is groovy. Two thumbs up.

[Thought Prism]

You need to write more comedies, this was great.

[Mstar]

I actually laughed out loud several times. Do you know how infrequently that happens!? Almost never.

I regret that I have but two thumbs to point up. Fabulous work!!!

[StubobNumbers]

11584155

"Frenemies" is my favorite episode of the final season.

[RainbowDoubleDash]

11585198
"Well who is supposed to run Slytherin, then?"
"There isn't a Slytherin House!"
"That hardly seems fair..."

[Xalok]

100% worth reading.

[HoneyBadgerr]

That was great fun. Well done!

[Eroraf86]

11584540

Well, one Google search later and today I learned that John Alan Lee existed. I based the chapter titles off of seven of the eight Ancient Greek words for different kinds of love, and wasn't aware that there was a more modern framework that borrowed them. Thanks for teaching me something new!

I knew philia, storge, eros, and agape from church, but mania, philautia, and ludus were new to me. Only one missing is pragma, but that's what sequels are for, right?

[Arcane_Sigil]

Almost want another chapter, or a few other chapters, with Twilight's friends just watching events unfold from the sidelines. They figure Twilight can handle this and she's not exactly acting like it's some big huge thing. Or... potentially, other chapters were they all go to Celestia thinking this is some trick by Chrysalis only to find out that it's an old law that Chrysalis is exploiting. I might actually do something similar, with an "inspired by" line... only involving Luna and the other mane 5.

[Totally Not A Pony]

"I am not reformed."

Of course not, Chryssi.

Although I’m actually half serious there. I never did see the changeling palette swap as a form of magical “reformation” complete with a side order of flipping some switch in their heads from “evil” to “good”; I always chalked the change of sides on their part in “Where and Back Again” up to both getting out from under the constant threat of love starvation and just having learned what their supposed queen had been really thinking of them all along, because that kind of double whammy would make most anyone reevaluate their life choices. So, no, not seeing much reason to think that “new” Chrysalis is anyone but herself after the first Snickers bar of her entire life (as it were).

[falloutshelters]

11584074
I thought the pacing was fine for a comedy actually, there's only so far you can stretch the joke before it gets repetitive.

[CaptainQ]

This was a hilarious read, good job!

[Cerulean Blue]

Well done :)

Great pacing, a little bit of insanity here and there - Great Comedy! :)

[shinybob606]

A fun little story, I do love Trixie and Chrysalis' interactions and am a little sad they aren't part of the actual relationship as I do love Trixie X Twilight and Chrysalis X Twilight ships but cute short story nonetheless

[Arkonfleight]

11586495
I concur.
My favorite evidence of this is her reaction to Thorax is less surprise and more forcible love removal: this isn't the first time. My guess is spending an unknown amount of time in the literal love capitol of the world supercharged him.

Alternately, they have no base form and the monarch sets the theme.

[Variation]

Nice story. I'm sure some people are going to be annoyed that it didn't end in harem but Twidancer is a pretty rare ship on this site, so im happy.