• Member Since 6th Sep, 2012
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Jetto


WHO AM I?!?


T

Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, and Moondancer are the top students in Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns. One is a dedicated bookworm with a love of learning, other is an outcast full of ambition, while the last one just wants to enjoy life... a lot.

Connected with unlikely friendship, together, they fight crime live their lives, one day at a time.

(Sometimes they fight crime, too)


While it is set in Stallionverse, knowledge of previous stories is not required (you'll miss a joke or two at worst).

Teen rating for slightly edgier humor, innuendos and Moondancer.

Guest chapters provided by the ever talented Eyeswirl the Weirded. You can't hug him through internet (you can try), so give him love by checking his stuff- quality guaranteed.
My own chapters are edited by the ever kind and generous Docontra, whose patience knows no bounds.

Chapters (52)
Comments ( 1039 )

This is a funny story. Please have future chapters. Thanks. Great job.

Huh. Not what I imagined. Funnier because of it too. I feel a little bad for Spike, but love the fact that he is now forced to deal with a lovesick mare.

Poor Spike. Even in a universe where boys actually matter, he still gets screwed.

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:fluttershysad: I'm sure he'll catch a break... or something. At least as much of a break as any character gets in Stallionverse (so, y'know... not very often).

At last the the terrible trio get their own adventure.... or at least a slice of life comedy.

"Hey Spike, Twilight wants to know how you're doing." he stepped back and turned one eighty. "I'm good. Tell her I said hi and thanks." He went back to the original position and faced Twilight. "He's alright and thanks for asking." He announced with a playful smile.

Oh you do that too?

Spike yelped and jumped as he heard the mares voice. And being on the ladder meant he had to sacrifice his both grabby hands to hold onto it and not fall to his death (or at least some bruses), which meant the books fell without him. There was no thud or crash, as they all stopped midair, held by a light-red magical aura of the flame-maned unicorn. His eyes narrowed as he looked deep into her bemused eyes.

Actually, her aura is "moderate cyan" ie, the color of her eyes.

He had to give her credit- as much as they hated every fiber of each other (don't ask them for reason, there is none), she made a clear, conscious effort to stay away from him whenever possible. He respected that and tried to repay her with the same treatment, to the point where they had to learn to share Twilight's time between one another, so there wouldn't be any overlap.

I see.

Sunset shrugged, not even looking in his direction.
"When was I ever on your side?"
The dragon stopped and raised a finger.
"W-well... shoot, that's a good point!"

It is, isn't it.

He fell down on the ground with a weak thud. As he took a long awaited breath, he looked up to see Moondancer, as surprised as he was, in a safe distance from him, floating in the air, surrounded by an bubble of unmistakable, purple aura

Actually her magic is more magenta than purple.

Moondancer crossed her hooves and looked away, pouting.
"I can't help it! He's so soft and cuddly!"
"He has scales!" Said Sunset Shimmer.

She's right.

Not sure which I love more, the idea that Twilight had pony friends so she didn't need a dragon, and Spike was given to the library at birth, or Moondancer cuddling Spike constantly. No, wait, I know, it's the cuddling!

5734086 What about the fact that he and Sunset are frienemies?

"I refuse to apologize for a simple mistake more than three times!" She pouted and accelerated her trot. "And they had it coming for ridiculing my essey! I didn't hear THEM apologize for hurting MY feelings! Unlike some stupid hair, those don't grown back with a simple spell!"

EssAy.

The two sighed with relief after the tragedy was averted in time. Sunset Shimmer's stomach was churning just remembering the last time she didn't notice...
...The Sock!

Err...

5734272 That is fairly adorable, I anticipate more banter between Spike and Sunset Snarker.

I'd incorporate the Spellbook Entry bit into my own writing, but I'd never be able to keep track of the numbers. :derpyderp2:

That was funny. I loved this chapter. I hope another one is released soon. Thanks.

Wow. Moondancer knows how to dance.

Moondancer seems fun

Sounds like Moondancer might have a rivalry going with Cloud Kicker of Ponyville over who can lay the most sapient species now first.^_^

5736977 Please, my Cloud Kicker isn't nearly as active as Moondancer.

Soarin on the other hand... I shudder on the thought of the two meeting.

I like Spike's relationship with this unicorn trio: Twilight, as in canon, is his big sister figure. Sunset basically fights with him over Twilight's attention, and Moondancer is the girly girl that treats him like a pet.

I am very happy that a spin-off was written.

Awesome, been looking forward to this particular story.

That was awesome. I like the use of the dark spell to try and fix the bird. I loved this chapter. Great job.

Haha! Sunset's in trouble!

"Send us to Magical Kindergarten?" Sunset finished her sentencem smug smile adorning her face.

Sentence WITH A smug smile.

The birdlike creature coughed painfully, letting go of a set of feathers as it shuddered with cold, with its eyes blinking independently of each other and mostly staring blankly into the nothingness.

Ah, Philomena, I can see where this is going.

She burst into a small flame and turned to ash, which slowly fell on the cushion in a small pile.

Seeing as she IS a phoenix, this would happen.

SLAP!

Thanks.

"Girls..." Twilight looked at her friends, smiling beneath all her tears. "No, it's all MY fault! I made her... well, explode!"

No, it's Celestia's fault for not telling you that Philomena is a phoenix.

The two looked around the chamber, but failed to notice their nymphomaniac anywhere. They shrugged and decided there were more important things to do right now. Sunset concentrated on the incantation before her. Her eyes turned green and her horn lighted itself with black energy...

Oh dear.

Once again she was interrupted, but this time not by one of her student, but by a loud screeching sound, resembling nothing that lived or breathed. To anypony else, it would sound like a gust of wind flowing through several open windows. To Princess Celestia, it was a sound of wind flowing through a body made out of bones and darkest of magic.

Oh dear.

Thousands couldn't land a single hit on the Sun Goddess.

Yep. Because she's Princess Motherbucking Celestia!

"And it was never funny to begin with! Now stop scaring my students already or there will be no cake!"

Right, Philomena is the troll.

"I guess that's that for the presentation. Pity." She shook her head and turned to her conscious student. "Moondancer, please take Twilight Sparkle to the infirmary. As for you Miss Shimmer, there's a matter of a certain... illegal spell from a certain book that we need to discuss about. My office, right now."

Oh dear.

Yes, Sunset is a necromancer. Just in case you thought I was kidding with this whole "she's kinda evil".

That explains it.

Interesting, that's twice so far this week I've read a chapter here that had Sunset using necromancy.

And wow does an undead phoenix seem like a bad idea.

There will be Heart-Butt! Canon Shiny cheers! :yay:

Also, Woona. :twilightsmile:

with braided, blue mane

With A braided blue mane. No comma either.

Celestias Academy for Gifted Unicorns.

Celestia's Academy, it it the Academy of Celestia.

ink spilled she accidentaly caused.

Ink spill she accidentalLy caused.

As she passed the hallway to reach her destination, she finally allowed herself to ditch any and all pretenses she had to abide for an entire weekend. She took of her fake glasses and her magic made them dissapear. The braids of her mane slowly unfolded and her mane grew a few sizes and changed color to a lighter shade of purple. Her coat also brightened, her body grew a few sizes and her cutie mark, a long crescent sun, was now surrounding itself with dark sky. But more importantly, a set of large wings appeared on her back, stretching themselves free from last few hours of stagnation, as she finally opened the door to the room and entered.

Took ofF her fake glasses. DisapPear. Also, Moon Sky is Luna? Clever.

"I'm sorry, who?" Celestia interrupted, smiling innocently. "Would you mind repeating that sentence?"
Luna's eye twitched. She rolled her eyes and said it again.
"I don't understand that mare!" She paused to see her sister nodding. Their little excercise to break the habit of the "royal we" was slowly getting on her nerves.

Nice.

"It's about that 'only two alicorns' part..."

Ah. Cadence, and, when is this set, roughly? Because if it's where I think it is, early Season 1, then in about 2 seasons, there'll be a 4th alicorn. Man will Luna be surprised.

5758115 But who's that alicorn going to be? Will Twilight still manage it, or will we see the first male alicorn ever?

Hmn, well that's one way of introducing Luna to modern society. Sounds like Twilight might have an important friendship role to play after all.

Also, Celestia completely forgot to mention Cadance? :facehoof::rainbowlaugh:

Am I remembering incorrectly, or was Cadance mentioned way back at the beginning of the first story? I'd swear Shining was running from someone and I would have sworn it was Cadance.

5762702 No, that was Soarin running from his exes and as far as I can tell, Cadance was not among them (though knowing him, it wouldn't be a stretch to say he hit it off with princess of love).

5763571 Yeah, I just checked and it turns out to have been a different story. There's another take on the stallions instead of mares 'verse on the site, though one that is much different than yours.

Alternate cut:

Twilight used Object Teleportation.

"What is this?" She asked, oogling the long, flexible sticky rod.

"Twilight, put it down!" Sunset yelled and jumped away.

"What? Do you know what this weird... phallic... thing... EEWWWW!"

Did she pick up a.... dick or penis???

5763944 It's supposed to be a dildo :pinkiesad2:

It begins! :pinkiecrazy:

And, books be dangerous for these three. :derpyderp2:

5764065 Books are to Maresketeers what Punches are to Stallion Six.

A symbol of friendship and pain, in copious amounts.

Spike... opens the library alone? He's still full-time-job-as-a-child guy who lives and breathes his work?

That is less potentially heartwarming when his work isn't "Help someone he loves all day long."

*rereads the description of the intruder* Oh, that pony. I wonder what the timeline for the other stories this is.

5764129 Opening or closing a library isn't exactly a complicated task for a smart little dragon.

As for the timeline, this chapter is set shortly after Enthusiastic Admirer.

"Books?" She looked around the library. It wasn't flooded, burning, smelling, being robbed, teleported to another realm or cut into little pieces. "Chhhhhheeeccck!"

Um...

"Now that everything is in order, nothing can stop me from achieving knowledge!" She beamed proudly at herself for a moment, then rolled the checklist back into a scroll and went towards the table. "But first, get'em while it's hot!"

You mean aquiring.

She inspected the mug closely and couldn't help but raise her eyebrow. She turned it upside down only a single drop fell to the ground.
"What the...? Didn't I just...?" She put the mug back at the table, breathed in and out a few times and slowly calmed herself down. "I guess I must've drunk it before. Oh well, I'll just make another and waste five minutes of studying... Ugh, so much for perfect plan... and I should stop talking to myself!"

I sense a disturbance in the Force. As if a lavender nerdy unicorn was about to become the butt of many jokes.

"Can I have that one?"
"Sure." Twilight passed her current one to her right without thinking.
"Thank you.
"No prob--- wait, who what?"
She quickly turned to her right, dropping the last tome from her grip, only to notice... nothing. Nopony was there with her, yet she could swear she hear a female voice just before. And that tome she hoofed was gone. Coffee she could forget about, but books?
"Hello? Anypony here?" She asked around and walked between few shelves, but saw nothing. No signs of any other living being, aside from some random bugs that probably crept somewhere out there, reminding her to not spoil Spike TOO much, or else he was getting tardy at his librarian duties.

Called it.

As she went away, she glanced at the open donut box, where two more treats still waited for her.
"Wasn't there supposed to be three?" She looked at the box confused, but shrugged it away as simply not paying attention to low things like food while searching for enlightenment.

3 times now.

"There's no ghost in the library, it's just an urban legend..." She muttered to herself, as she walked by the giant hall, slowly peeking out of every corner, just in case. "Then again, if there is no ghost, is it... a trespasser?" She gasped, shaking in place, continuously turning in any direction, blowing at her hair every time she accidentally got part of her mane at her face. "No no no, no way anypony could sneak in! There's a state of art security system! Not even Discord could penetrate it, I'm sure of it... I hope..."

I'm pretty sure Discord could penetrate it, but not the point.

However, she looked around her and noticed a lot of things. Knowledge. Power. All at the hooves reach. Whoever got inside, now has access to all of it, there's no telling what they could find. Or how much danger that would produce later down the line. She remembered that one book Sunset once found and how it almost ended in a disaster, no telling what else could be hiding around here? On a side note, why do they keep something this dangerous in the public library*? And the only thing that stood on the way, was her, Twilight Sparkle. Top student of Princess Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns. The most promising magician of the century (not her words, but she couldn't disagree).
Whoever the trespasser was, he/she/it knew that, which is why he/she/it avoided her like plague.

Yep.

...her. A mare, dressed in an elaborate purple cape adorned with golden stars, wearing a pointy wizard hat, just standing there, just a few yards away, reading a book. That book. A small, glowing orb levitated above her, providing both light she needed to read, while also casting and ominous shadow, obscuring her face.
"...uh..." Twilight raised her hoof, but with her previous bravado gone, she was unsure how to react.
The mare turned her head at her, staring her purple eyes at Twilight. Awkward moment passed, the two sets of eyes blinking one after the other few times. Then Twilight made a single step towards her, at which point the mare pulled something out of her cap and tossed it into the ground, exploding in a smoke. Twilight coughed, fanning the smoke out of her eyes, only to realize that the mare was gone!

Trixie, interesting. Also, capE.

STUPID USELESS THERMOVISION!"

USELESS ASS PSYCHIC POWERS!

There was no way anypony, much less some strange unicorn in silly cape, would be able to breach the library or outsmart her with silly tricks.

And yet...

That was fun to read. I wonder if Twilight will ask the girls for help. :twilightsmile:

Makes me wonder if Trixie will become the D'artagnan of the Maresketeers.:coolphoto:

Dangit, Trixie!

Then again, at least she was polite enough to bandage Twilight up.

5765799 I like this idea.

5765799
5766122
Now there's an idea :trixieshiftleft: And here I thought Spike would become one instead.

5767522
Wait isn't Trixie like an adult who is after blueblood and was in the academy once before... or is that being retconned? Because it could really feel forced for Trixie as an adult to show up at a high school.
Or is that story not cannon in your works?

5774490 Its totally canon. Just because Trixie's adult doesnt mean she can't look for knolwedge in library.

That and Blueblood is still a student (though his case is special) despite being the same age as Trixie.

EDIT: Also, this isn't exactly high-school. It's more of a mix of high-school and university.

Wasn't Fire Strike one of the two to catch the girls on their way out of Canterlot in the first story? Also one of four to tell Moonie to stop fantasizing about Twilight's brother I believe. :rainbowlaugh:

That was nice to see Sunset being a better pony. That Fire comment about him not letting Mare's finish was classic. Great job.

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