I'd Only Dream Of You

by Silent Whisper

Restart

I remember waking, my fury abating in a flash of light, with six ponies I had never seen before standing around me in shock.

I remember apologizing to my sister, and returning to the castle with her by my side.

I remember Celestia tucking me into a bed that was not mine and, after a moment, leaving me to my thoughts.

I did not sleep that morning. There was nothing I could do but wait.

Wait, with baited breath and hope beyond hope.

Perhaps, after all those years, my Doctor would return. Even after everything, there was a chance that he would still have chosen me.

I sat next to a window and watched the movement of a city I no longer recognized shift underneath the moving heavens.

After three days, Celestia came to visit. I do not know how I would have reacted if she had been angry, but she said nothing and only sat there next to me.

It wasn’t until nightfall that I realized she’d been waiting for me to speak first.

The words were hard to get out, at first, but once they’d started, I could not stop. I told her about my Doctor, and his strange condition, and everything I had felt for him, and what had happened between Ferros and I. It was only after I’d begun repeating myself for the third time that I trailed off into silence.

Tia listened, without interruption, and only when it was clear I would say no more did she speak.

“Oh, Luna, why didn’t you tell-” My sister cut herself off with a sharp exhalation, tears shining in the corners of her eyes. Was she grieving for lost time, or for something else?

“I…” What could I say? Was there a good reason why I’d never spoken with her about my Doctor? I’d gotten so wrapped up in my own happiness that I’d shut her out as much as she’d shut me out, hadn’t I? “I’m sorry, sister. I am sorry that I did not bring this matter to you. I was young, and I wanted something for myself, something you could never have.”

Celestia snorted, and I realized what that sounded like. “Wait,” I stuttered as a genuine smile threatened to tug up her muzzle. “Wait, Tia, I didn’t mean to make it sound like you couldn’t, you know, couldn’t find anypony who would, would, um…”

She nuzzled me. “I understand what you meant, Luna, and I am the one who should be sorry. If I had only seen the loneliness you had been going through, the isolation that made you feel like you couldn’t come to me, things would have been different. Neither of you would have had to have gone through this alone.”

I gave her the best smile I could manage. “It’s okay, sister. I know where I erred. My selfishness led to blindness, and I should have talked with you about this. I now understand the night’s place. It is my duty to be alone. Trust me,” I added. “I have been alone for a thousand years. I am more than used to watching.”

“You should not have to be.” I heard her take a deep breath, and I knew what was coming. “I would be more than happy to help search for him, sister. It could be as subtle or overt an effort as you’d like. Why, I could submit a request to the Cutie Mark registry and we could go over any that match your memory of his mark, whenever you’d like.”

“He’s gone, I’m certain,” I said at last, resting against Tia’s downy chest. “If he’s survived this long, he’s most likely moved on, or…” or died, I wished to say, but I didn’t dare voice my fears aloud. I had no delusions that he was invincible to all harm. “Besides, he did not return. It has been three days, and we… we made a promise.”

One of her hooves stroked my mane, weaving between the stars. “A promise to return?”

“No,” I said, and for some reason I felt almost okay. Not happy, not yet, but a little bit better. “It was a promise to let go.”

---

I would not have usually considered staying so long at a wedding reception, but it was Ponyville, and I felt that I had owed something to the place that knew me as Luna as much as they revered me as Princess.

Most of the guests had left to follow Matilda outside, Mr. Doodle trailing behind them, my sister included. She knew I would join them when I felt like it; while my nights were no longer lonely, I had quickly discovered that I did not do terribly well with crowds for too long.

“Princess?” Somepony was calling out to me. I was in Ponyville, I reminded myself as I put on my best friendly smile in the reflection on the window. They loved me, often to an extent that I did not get nearly enough time alone, but it was genuine love all the same. Four years, and I still wasn’t quite used to it.

“Yes? Sorry, I was just taking a moment to myself. Did you need something?” I watched the silhouette of-

“I’ve waited so long to meet you again.” A stallion. Did he remember me from Nightmare Night, or something else?

“Oh? I apologize, but I’ve met so many ponies today, I can’t quite recall your name.” I turned, and there stood an unremarkable brown stallion wrapped in the most ridiculous scarf I had ever seen in my life. While I felt like I would have remembered the scarf, there was something about this pony that tugged at some long-forgotten memory.

“I’ve had many names,” he said with a friendly shrug. “But I’ve solved my, shall we say, identity crisis, and I’ve waited for a long time to be able to give you something in return.”

“Oh?” Was he a changeling? Some of the Ponyville citizens would accept that, I supposed. “I apologize, I don’t quite follow.”

He smiled gently, took a hesitant step towards me, and began singing a tune I’d never thought I’d hear again in my life.

I linger in the dawn’s first light
Sun’s slow but steady creep
No cost’s too high for one more night
To watch you as you sleep

It’s been a thousand years since then
I promised you I’d stay
Through time and absence, years and lives
I won’t be kept away

My Doctor had… he had found me at last. I’d made my peace with his decision to never return, but…

I would have been lying if I said that I felt anything other than pure, radiant hope as he tilted his hips just enough for me to see his mark. The hourglass. It was all I could do not to rush into his hooves.

He had waited for a thousand years to find me once more. I decided that I could forgive him for waiting four more. I was not the pony that he’d first fallen in love with, and he had likely grown over the centuries, but the thought did not scare me.

It meant I’d get the chance to fall in love with him all over again.

I’ve searched the land for sea-glass eyes
Cloaked in the shadows blue
If I could dream, my dearest one
I’d only dream of you

Comments

[Appleody]

I can safely say, this is a type of relationship I've never seen before. Very interesting idea. :)

[Nightsclaw]

A well done and powerful idea. Something that would be cool if it were cannon.

[daOtterGuy]

Howdy, hi~!

Loved this. Such a unique way of translating Doctor Whooves as a character and reinterpreting the Nightmare Moon myth. Absolutely adored the romance aspect and the connection of dreams and night to their relationship. Absolute banger of a fic. Thanks for the read~!

[Bojack H]

sometimes I think this site is dead, but then these stories come along. I had an idea for a character like this but not quite as extreme if I ever got back into writing.

[Wild-pegasus]

???????? no dislikes???? oh fuck yes!

[Lunaric]

Beautiful.

[Axolotl222]

This definitely one of the more unique stories I've seen on this site. I'm not quite sure how you came up with the idea but somehow you manged to pull it off. Have a Derpy

[Charles Farrow]

Fucking great

[Apothesis Cannon]

That was beautiful

[ponygrad]

Very touching.

[Appleody]

Welp, just reread this again.
The unique situation Luna and her lover are in, is both entertaining and heart breaking. I hope she actually figures out how to make it work in a manner less morally dubious.

[Silent Whisper]

11489696
Heya! So, this is probably one of the highest compliments I think I've received on a story. You read it again and it made you think so much you left me a comment again?!?!?!?!??!? You made my week! Thank you SO MUCH!

... and I hope she finds a way to make it work in a less morally dubious manner, too. The whole situation's not exactly something you'd be able to find advice on how to deal with, you know? Must be rough.

[Appleody]

11490448
Well, you know how it is. You want to read something, but you want something you know is good. Best time to browse the favs you haven't read in a while. :)

[Silent Whisper]

11490548
That means a lot to me, and yeah, absolutely! A lot of the time, I end up wishing I could re-read my favorite fics again for the first time

[The Iguana Man]

Huh. You know, for most of the story, I was wondering if you'd included, without considering the actual implications of it, the concept of making love in another person's body... a concept that is absolutely mortifying on many levels and exists in an area that I personally have several neuroses around. And I intended to ask you about the implications once I'd finished...

Then lo and behold, it turns out those very implications were one of the most central points of the entire story and, what's more, was handled very well, in my opinion - making clear that what they were doing was terrible from a purely moral perspective, but also making it very understandable why they would do it and wouldn't think about the implications, and treating both them and their actions with empathy and taste.

My one thought is that... well, I'm honestly not sure whether or not you should use it, but I think it's possible this should have the Non-Con tag since... well, I'm not clear on the exact definitions and boundaries, but I think what they were doing would technically fall into the category of... that. Still, if you don't want to associate the story with the sorts of stories that frequently have the tag, I understand.

So, yeah... I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed it completely, but I did enjoy a fair bit of it and I respect and appreciate all of it.

[Silent Whisper]

11579706
I keep mulling over this comment, because I think it's one of the most respectful comments I've ever gotten. Like, regarding sensitive subject matter, that is. I'm flattered that you think I handled the topic well! I'm not sure if it needs the non-con tag, as its usage is often a bit different than this fic and it's kind of in a strange gray area for said definition the site uses, and I'd gone back and forth on whether or not I should use it. This is what I get for coming up with strange premises! I often have trouble with trying to fit tags to my fics, and this one was no exception.

But, tags aside? I think one of the most flattering things I've been told is "I wasn't sure if you thought all the implications through, but you did, and you treated it with respect and taste."

Thank you for reading, even when the topic made you uncomfortable. It wasn't meant to be a fairy tale romance like Luna felt inside, you know? I really appreciate that you understood that the characters aren't acting in a mature and even morally-correct way in the fic, and that it was a deliberate choice on my part in order to explore the concept. It's high praise, and I really appreciate your comment.

[The Iguana Man]

11580533

Happy to hear it, thank you.