Brunch for Two Verses

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Brunch for Two Verses

Fiddlesticks would risk the world for her marefriend.

This story contains LGBT themes. Emphasis on the L.

An entry in the Fiddledust Contest.

Preread by The Sleepless Beholder

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Posh

Posh #1 · Jul 27th, 2022 · 2 · ·

This story contains LGBT themes. Emphasis on the L.

Come now, I’m sure your entry will be perfectly competitive. No need to announce that you’re taking the L.

Posh

Posh #2 · Jul 27th, 2022 · 1 · ·

Smacking herself hard on both sides of her face with her wings, she huffed roughly a few times, hyping herself up. She was Lightning Dust and that meant she could tackle this situation just like she did everything else: with a brazen attitude and too-cool-for-you attitude.

Dates, job interviews, funerals, it really worked for all occasions.

More importantly, sitting at their usual table by the window at the exact intersection where tea and donut met, was the mare of Lightning’s dreams. She stared off into space, idly stirring her tea cup with a stick.
The mare was everything Lightning wasn’t. Elegant in the rounded curves of her body where Lightning was pure sleek speed. She was thoughtful, guarded underneath her signature white stetson, while Lightning was upfront about anything and everything. To Lightning, she was like a surprise updraft. Exactly what you needed when you were falling toward the ground.

Ah, so one is the donut, and the other the tea. Fantastic, splendid.

But can one dunk a donut in one’s tea? If not, then I fear this relationship may be over before it’s begun.

“Good. The usual goers have awful taste. Always playing lame folk music on repeat.” She renewed her focus on Fiddle. “So, how you been? Made any progress with your loser sister?”
“She’s not a loser, Lightning,” Fiddle answered dryly.

If you believe the theory that Lightning Dust and Sky Stinger are siblings, then this exchange takes on a fun little bit of subtext.

Lightning leaned back in her cushion, laughing at Fiddle’s surprise. “Yeah, she’s dating that famous DJ.

...Khaled?

Dump him. You know why.

“Heh, no worries.” Lightning glanced towards the menu above the donut shop and scanned quickly through the items. “Is there seriously nothing healthy on the entire menu?”

...I-it’s a donut shop. It’s a donut shop, Elle-Dee.

Lightning Dust is the type of person to complain that Arby’s isn’t vegetarian enough.

Fiddle scoffed. “I can hardly explain the minute and important differences between playing at a gala and in an open venue, love.” Her face flushed cherry red as she realized what she said.
“Love, huh?” Lightning grinned, her eyes betraying mischievous intent.

Little did she know, Fiddle was actually saying “luv,” the Anglican diminutive that can variously mean “friend,” “acquaintance,” or “person who I fully intend to kill.”

Incidentally, “Mischievous Intent” was one of the weaker Law and Order spin-offs.

This was kinda cute! I’m lacking crucial context for most of it, but I liked the interplay between gay horse girlfriends well enough.

That said (and maybe this is exacerbated by me not really knowing the source material behind this particular couple), the story after the scene break and the POV shift is markedly weaker than the first portion from Elle-Dee’s perspective. We go from some entertaining and cute banter and small-talk to a long and dense exposition dump explaining that... someone is... dead? The story ends right after that, which gives you no opportunity to make anything of that twist.

It’s just sort of... there. Signifying nothing.

Again, I thought there was both cuteness and sweetness in sufficient quantity. But, to me, there isn’t enough substance beneath that cute, sweet exterior.

The judges might think differently, of course. And, in any event, I wish you luck. Donuts and tea are on me if you win.

SparklingTwilight

SparklingTwilight #3 · Jul 30th, 2022 · · ·

After the break--a very interesting idea! It makes the story.

And re: the other DJ's name... different names/swaps in different universes, or a different pony with a joke-inspired name? Neat foreshadowing in one case, amusing anyway in the other.

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