• Member Since 15th May, 2018
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

mushroompone


This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in horsefic, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

T

Recent friends Lightning Dust and Fiddlesticks spend a summer night trying to understand each other.


For the First Annual Fiddledust Festival

Sex tag is for discussions of one night stands / "sleeping around" - nothing explict!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )
Comment posted by Sunset Shimmer The Great deleted Jul 29th, 2022

Beautiful prose that felt so authentic somehow to these minor characters and to this wonderful crackship. There's something poetic about the ongoing struggles in life never quite ceasing, but at some point needing to take the leap to just... be Okay... to take steps forward and so on.

Excellent writing!:twilightsmile:

“Maybe I can put some of that white lightning in you,” Lightning says. “And you can put some of that black country mud in me.”

That line. It's so awkward and corny, and yet sincere and touching given the full context of the story. Well done.

This story is phenomenal. Your prose is not only gorgeous, but balanced as well. There never feels like there is a moment where a passage overstays its welcome, or departs before it's ready. And your character writing and dialogue is fantastic, Fiddle and Lightning felt so real. I could not only see myself in them, but I felt as though I could just break through the barrier of my screen and have a conversation with them.

You've once again proven you are one of the best writers on this site, and I can't wait to see what you write next.

11313601
As usual wish your comments could bring me to tears 🥺 I'm so glad that this story turned out as I pictured it - it always feels risky publishing without a prereader! Such is the nature of last-minute contest panic :ajsleepy:

And hey: back to you. We could rule this site, wish. We could smother them in character-driven meditations on the nature of life and identity

11313609
You're so right, mush. Let's do it.

11312521
Well, "tomorrow" in the time frame of when you made this comment has come and gone, and you still haven't edited it. But even if you had, I (and many others, I'm sure) find "first!" comments quite annoying, spammy, and rude. It feels like you are partially aware of that, considering you added that "(jk)" to your comment, but that addition is functionally meaningless, because what is the joke here? You made a "first!" comment, did not read the story before making it, and have not even read the story and edited your comment in the timeframe you said you would. Overall, not a good look.

11314611
Thank you for telling me :twilightblush: Sorry, I've been busy. I'll delete it.

Wonderful story. It felt vivid and real, as if I was right there watching the story unfurl. Not much else to say other than great job and that this is one of the best entries to the contest I've read! You are one of the most talented authors on the site and I look forward to reading more from you.

11315078
No worries! No one innately knows what is considered socially acceptable, and I've made my fair share of blunders over the years. I'm glad you've taken this as a learning experience, which speaks well to your character, in my opinion. I apologize as well for being a little snarky with my first reply, that wasn't very kind of me.

11315121
Nah. It's fine. I'm not the most socially adept person around and it shows, especially when I'm writing on a mobile device. I'm still trying to learn and I appreciate your comment!

This was beautiful. It read like an exploration. Of themselves, of one another, and the atmosphere. The emotional but sensitive poking and prodding were like a little dance. All of it was so real and smooth.

it's more realistic than anything i've ever experienced personally

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