//------------------------------// // Restart // Story: I'd Only Dream Of You // by Silent Whisper //------------------------------// I remember waking, my fury abating in a flash of light, with six ponies I had never seen before standing around me in shock.  I remember apologizing to my sister, and returning to the castle with her by my side.  I remember Celestia tucking me into a bed that was not mine and, after a moment, leaving me to my thoughts. I did not sleep that morning. There was nothing I could do but wait. Wait, with baited breath and hope beyond hope.  Perhaps, after all those years, my Doctor would return. Even after everything, there was a chance that he would still have chosen me. I sat next to a window and watched the movement of a city I no longer recognized shift underneath the moving heavens.  After three days, Celestia came to visit. I do not know how I would have reacted if she had been angry, but she said nothing and only sat there next to me.  It wasn’t until nightfall that I realized she’d been waiting for me to speak first.  The words were hard to get out, at first, but once they’d started, I could not stop. I told her about my Doctor, and his strange condition, and everything I had felt for him, and what had happened between Ferros and I. It was only after I’d begun repeating myself for the third time that I trailed off into silence.  Tia listened, without interruption, and only when it was clear I would say no more did she speak.  “Oh, Luna, why didn’t you tell-” My sister cut herself off with a sharp exhalation, tears shining in the corners of her eyes. Was she grieving for lost time, or for something else? “I…” What could I say? Was there a good reason why I’d never spoken with her about my Doctor? I’d gotten so wrapped up in my own happiness that I’d shut her out as much as she’d shut me out, hadn’t I? “I’m sorry, sister. I am sorry that I did not bring this matter to you. I was young, and I wanted something for myself, something you could never have.” Celestia snorted, and I realized what that sounded like. “Wait,” I stuttered as a genuine smile threatened to tug up her muzzle. “Wait, Tia, I didn’t mean to make it sound like you couldn’t, you know, couldn’t find anypony who would, would, um…” She nuzzled me. “I understand what you meant, Luna, and I am the one who should be sorry. If I had only seen the loneliness you had been going through, the isolation that made you feel like you couldn’t come to me, things would have been different. Neither of you would have had to have gone through this alone.” I gave her the best smile I could manage. “It’s okay, sister. I know where I erred. My selfishness led to blindness, and I should have talked with you about this. I now understand the night’s place. It is my duty to be alone. Trust me,” I added. “I have been alone for a thousand years. I am more than used to watching.” “You should not have to be.” I heard her take a deep breath, and I knew what was coming. “I would be more than happy to help search for him, sister. It could be as subtle or overt an effort as you’d like. Why, I could submit a request to the Cutie Mark registry and we could go over any that match your memory of his mark, whenever you’d like.” “He’s gone, I’m certain,” I said at last, resting against Tia’s downy chest. “If he’s survived this long, he’s most likely moved on, or…” or died, I wished to say, but I didn’t dare voice my fears aloud. I had no delusions that he was invincible to all harm. “Besides, he did not return. It has been three days, and we… we made a promise.” One of her hooves stroked my mane, weaving between the stars. “A promise to return?” “No,” I said, and for some reason I felt almost okay. Not happy, not yet, but a little bit better. “It was a promise to let go.” I would not have usually considered staying so long at a wedding reception, but it was Ponyville, and I felt that I had owed something to the place that knew me as Luna as much as they revered me as Princess. Most of the guests had left to follow Matilda outside, Mr. Doodle trailing behind them, my sister included. She knew I would join them when I felt like it; while my nights were no longer lonely, I had quickly discovered that I did not do terribly well with crowds for too long. “Princess?” Somepony was calling out to me. I was in Ponyville, I reminded myself as I put on my best friendly smile in the reflection on the window. They loved me, often to an extent that I did not get nearly enough time alone, but it was genuine love all the same. Four years, and I still wasn’t quite used to it. “Yes? Sorry, I was just taking a moment to myself. Did you need something?” I watched the silhouette of-  “I’ve waited so long to meet you again.” A stallion. Did he remember me from Nightmare Night, or something else?  “Oh? I apologize, but I’ve met so many ponies today, I can’t quite recall your name.” I turned, and there stood an unremarkable brown stallion wrapped in the most ridiculous scarf I had ever seen in my life. While I felt like I would have remembered the scarf, there was something about this pony that tugged at some long-forgotten memory.  “I’ve had many names,” he said with a friendly shrug. “But I’ve solved my, shall we say, identity crisis, and I’ve waited for a long time to be able to give you something in return.” “Oh?” Was he a changeling? Some of the Ponyville citizens would accept that, I supposed. “I apologize, I don’t quite follow.” He smiled gently, took a hesitant step towards me, and began singing a tune I’d never thought I’d hear again in my life. I linger in the dawn’s first light Sun’s slow but steady creep No cost’s too high for one more night To watch you as you sleep It’s been a thousand years since then I promised you I’d stay Through time and absence, years and lives I won’t be kept away My Doctor had… he had found me at last. I’d made my peace with his decision to never return, but… I would have been lying if I said that I felt anything other than pure, radiant hope as he tilted his hips just enough for me to see his mark. The hourglass. It was all I could do not to rush into his hooves. He had waited for a thousand years to find me once more. I decided that I could forgive him for waiting four more. I was not the pony that he’d first fallen in love with, and he had likely grown over the centuries, but the thought did not scare me.  It meant I’d get the chance to fall in love with him all over again. I’ve searched the land for sea-glass eyes Cloaked in the shadows blue If I could dream, my dearest one I’d only dream of you