• Member Since 5th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen 27 minutes ago

Boltstrike58


Just a guy who found out that a show about talking ponies is a lot better than I expected.

E
Source

"For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the message was lost,
For the want of a message the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
All for the want of a horseshoe nail."


Fizzlepop Berrytwist (Fizz to her friends), the bearer of the Element of Magic, had just ascended to alicornhood, becoming the Princess of Friendship. However, a new threat has arisen, one that threatens to destroy all of Equestria. And while Fizz and her best friends have faced similar threats before, they may not be ready for this one.


Cover art by EJFireLightningArts. Featured 7-4-22.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 56 )

Hmmm. This looks like it could be an interesting fic. Certainly liked this spin on Filly Fizzy's first meeting with Celestia. Glad Celestia is going to try to teach her. I have a hunch Fizzy is going to get so good with tools and potions that, by the time she grows up, she's not going to miss her horn as much as she thought she would. Of course, I have to wonder how Twilight is going to take it. Ideally, it would be a good start on her learning friendship earlier than in canon, but I doubt we're going to be that lucky. Of course, I also have to wonder if Grubber and Spike are going to switch roles too or if Spike is going to keep his role, only as Fizzy's assistant instead of Twilight's or if Spike and Grubber are going to share the role of Fizzy's assistant (all three are equally possible).

But, anyway, looking forward to more of this and I hope you and your family and friends have a Happy Fourth of July.

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Unfortunately, Grubber won't be in this fic. I thought about having him take Spike's role, but I don't think there's any evidence that he met Tempest before she joined the Storm King, so I couldn't figure out a way to make it work. Spike, though...I've got plans for Spike.

good start so far

Intrueging, especially because Fizzy arguably requires friendship more then Twilight. Twi was just introverted and socially ignorant, Fizzy was literally traumatised and rejected by her society.

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Yeah, maybe. Even though they BOTH definitely need it, Fizzy WOULD probably need it MORE.

On the other hand/hoof, somebody with Twilight's abilities with no friends to keep them grounded is a pretty scary thought too. Of course, she would be more likely to be a rival to the Storm King than a lackey (as the Storm King would be too afraid of Twilight taking over to recruit her [too ambitious plus too competent equals completely untrustworthy]).

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I have a hunch Fizzy is going to get so good with tools and potions that, by the time she grows up, she's not going to miss her horn as much as she thought she would.

That and/or get into prosthetics research.


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Speaking of friendship, the "Tempest's Tale" IDW comic slightly reinterpreted her backstory with her old friends - there, they tried to include her in their activities, but as she struggled to control her magic, watching her suffer became too much for them to bear.

Now I'm curious how this story is going to handle that.

And for what it's worth, the comic also had Tempest set to go to Celstia's school with her friends before the Ursa Minor incident, where the movie strongly implied that her obsession with getting her horn fixed was all about being normal for the sake of being normal.

You sir earn my brownie point!! Good start!

This story has got me good and intrigued.

Consider and colour me intrigued :twilightsmile: looking forward to another good Tempest story

I wonder what her family would think when decades later they hear that her daughter ascended into alicornhood.

No dragon mail, so best pony gets to do her thing.

Oh I'm so interested in this

Great job on this latest chapter. Definitely appreciated the effort that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely liked the stuff about Fizzy learning how to create a magic hand, as well as the logical bits about her being a martial arts teacher. And that stuff about Fizzy NOT being the first unicorn to get her horn broken? Certainly some excellent foreshadowing (since it kind of implies that Spike is playing an even more important role to Twilight than in canon since he is probably acting as a set of hands as well as delivering messages quicker and providing somebody to talk to). The dialogues with the rest of the Mane Six, Discord and Black Belt were pretty good too. And, of course, I have to wonder what Celestia could be calling them all in for. Well, we'll find out next chapter.

VERY much looking forward to more of this.

Trotting downstairs, she lit up her stump, causing a few loose sparks of magic to jump out. As more and more electricity came out, it eventually collected together, forming a long, five-fingered arm out of pure magic. The hand reached over to the cabinet, popped it open, and grabbed a box of cereal.

Tempest's post-movie appearances in the IDW comic have her levitating things more or less normally, but with a somewhat different aura than most unicorns. The comics never went into detail about how she accomplished that, but I had assumed that it was Twilight's doing.

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I haven't read those, but I didn't want it to seem like Tempest/Fizz could use her horn just like a normal unicorn. That would defeat the purpose.

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Well, the comics never addressed if or how she could handle spells beyond levitation (and blowing stuff up). As Celestia's personal student, one would expect her to give that a shot...

Calling it now: the thief is Twilight.

Great job on this latest chapter. Definitely appreciated the work that went into the dialogue and future chapter set-up. And, yeah, while I appreciated the rest of the Mane 6 standing up to Blueblood (AND Fizz reassuring them that it wasn't necessary), I DO like the set up concerning the theft of VERY high level magic books AND the need to keep it discreet for the time-being. And yeah, it IS pretty clear that Twilight is one of the main three suspects here (given the amount of high-level magic that would be needed JUST to get through the security and Shining PROBABLY wouldn't exactly be too thrilled about having to go after his own sister), but given the timing, it might ALSO be Sunset Shimmer (very recently after Fizz ascended, which is about the same time as "Equestria Girls" and Sunset would certainly have the required skill for the theft too) or it COULD even be Blueblood (assuming he was merely putting on an act of being a snotty idiot to hide his true intelligence and magic skill [and, if it were either Sunset or Blueblood, Twilight would be just a red herring]). Of course, it's also possible (in fact VERY likely) that I've been reading WAY too many old mysteries and I'm overthinking it BIG TIME by working in two extra suspects and the thief IS Twilight.

But, yeah, definitely looking forward to more of this.

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Well, it could also be Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle working together.

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Yeah, possibly. Of course, if that's the case, it's only a matter of time before one double-crosses the other and the two of them end up doing the bulk of the heroes' work for them. It's not impossible, mind you, but I doubt the heroes are going to be lucky enough for the thief/thieves to take THEMSELVES out.

11307946
That would be pretty awesome. A disgruntled former student meets up with a promising, reclusive mage who jumps at the chance of being mentored by Celestia's former pupil....

Wow, loved this! Can’t wait to see what happens next!

Hey there. Again, very good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Really appreciated Fizz's reaction to visiting her old hometown and the understandably disgusted dialogue with her former friends before she had the talk with her mother. Also liked Fizz's reflections on her actual friends' views on the Princess deal. And, yeah, also good work on describing the thus far unsuccessful efforts to investigate the thefts. Yikes at the end, of course (very appropriately so), though Twi had better not do anything too bad to Fluttershy. If Fizz and the others don't kick her flank for messing with Fluttershy, Discord will.

Anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.

"So what? We're not good enough for you now that you're a princess?!" snapped Glitter Drops.

You weren't good enough for her before she became a princess.

Calling it now: this fanfic will become a retelling of the movie and the mystery unicorn is Twilight.

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Well of course the mystery unicorn is going to be Twilight. But I'm not sure about it being a retelling of the movie. So far I don't see it being very similar.

So, Princess Fizzlepop AU has evil Twilight. I had wondered what happened to her. I wonder what set her down this path?

Twilight: What? What's going on?
Discord: I tried to warn you. I'm PURE CHAOS! You are trying to have your brother contain more than half the Chaos energy found on the planet. You would have had a much simpler and safer time draining the Everfree.

YIKES! Definitely an appropriately nerve-wracking chapter. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are ALL really well done. Okay, so Twi foalnapped Fluttershy specifically to lure Discord into a trap so she could steal his power. Yeah, that shows she was smart enough to take Discord into account but foolish enough to do something this crazy. And, yeah, a Chaos-magic powered giant Spike? That has "EXTREMELY bad feeling" written all over it. As Rarity would say, that is among the worst possible things (and, unlike the times Rarity would say it, this time, it would NOT be hyperbole). But, yeah, I COULD see where the rest of the Mane Six could think to ask Discord if he knew what happened to Fluttershy and Discord getting that upset. The biggest question is, what could have happened to Twilight that led to her basically becoming "pony Megatron" (one of the more [relatively] Genre Savvy versions of Megatron, admittedly, as she DID think to be prepared for Discord and knows she can't trust Discord OR herself with that kind of power, but still - ). Well, I'm sure we'll find out eventually.


And to make matters worse, given that this is around the approximate time of "Equestria Girls", Sunset Shimmer might pop in and steal the Elements of Harmony, which would make it MUCH more difficult to stop the Discord-powered Spike - ESPECIALLY since AJ, Rainbow, Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy would have to do it WITHOUT Fizz if she had to go into the human world after Sunset to get the Elements back.

But, anyway, definitely looking forward to more of the story.

Fizz channeling her inner Red mage

OMG can't wait to see what happens next.

YIKES again. Definitely a great job on the action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. So Fizz managed to piece together a little of what Twilight was up to before the group encountered her and Spike. And, yeah, she figured out how to create a vortex to stop the harmony blast. And, unfortunately, Fizz's friends got her upset by treating her like a baby instead of focusing on stopping Twilight. And now Twilight has drained the powers of Celestia, Luna and Cadance as well. The worst part is, I already know it's going to get worse (primarily because it ALWAYS gets worse at the exact time somebody thinks it CAN'T [even when the situation is ALREADY bad enough to ALMOST justify the thought], but also because of the possibility that the Plunder Vines could end up striking at any time at this point [given that the timing for that is pretty close]. The only upside would be that Twilight MIGHT be willing to form a temporary truce until the Plunder Vines have been dealt with [since she can't conquer Equestria if there is no Equestria left to conquer]).

Fizz: Even if you DO take my magic, Twilight, I'm still a good enough fighter to take you without it.

Twilight: More than likely, Princess Fizzlepop, IF I were stupid enough to fight fair.

But, anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.

Wooo! This is getting really interesting!

Very little I can say except, again, great job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up. REALLY appreciated the dialogue/battle between Twilight and Fizzy as the former explained her motivations for doing this (yeah, I could see where everybody in the school would be so afraid of her, but you would think at least Shining and Cadance would have stuck up for her and tried to help her find work) as well as Fizzy finally realizing that reason would work better against Twilight than brute force by making her fully aware of the flaws in her scheme (for everything she was trying to fix, there would be at least a dozen more problems). And now, that Twilight realized her mistake, she is hopefully going to help try to stop Spike without hurting him.

Anyway, really looking forward to more of this.

"For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
All for the want of a horseshoe nail."

Wasn't there supposed to be a line about a
message somewhere in there?
rider > message > battle > war/kingdom?

I would say this is a pretty interesting start of a story for fizzle pop instead of accidentally meeting up with the Storm King she accidentally meet Princess Celestia and it looks like she welcome her with open arms and even helping her to control her magic and it looks like things are looking else for fizzle pop I wonder how this will work out

At the blaring of her alarm clock, Fizz rolled over in bed, reaching with one leg to silence the blaring. She attempted to move back into her previous sleeping position, only for one of her new wings to accidentally spring outwards, nearly smacking her in the face in the process. Fizz groaned, trying not to get any feathers in her mouth like last time.

Oh wow she got wings that was pretty fast

Excellent job on the action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up (in this case, epilogue set-up) in all the right places. Really appreciated Twilight going to the effort of helping the Princesses and Shining in keeping the Chaos magic empowered Spike busy while Fizz and the others talked out their issues and worked to get as many of the innocents out safely as they could. Also glad that the main threat has been successfully dealt with but now we have two more issues: the clean-up and the punishment for Twilight and Spike (though I'm sure the Princesses will be lenient concerning Twilight's genuine remorse and efforts to atone as well as Spike not exactly being in his right mind at the time of the rampage).

Anyway, definitely looking forward to the epilogue.

Pinkie Pie then produced a hammer and steak, and nailed the bottom in place.

I know you probably meant "stake", but given it's Pinkie Pie I could also see her going for the visual pun.

Her orders were obeyed quickly, and once the three ponies were inside, Rainbow put her forehooves under the tub. It was heavy, but she managed to lift it up, then carried it out the way she'd come in.

Dang, girl. Impressive.

None of the other Element Bearers seemed to be particularly interested in taking up martial arts,

IDK about that. Rarity vs the manicure in the pilot + defending Tom in Return of Harmony, I'd say "At least SOME martial arts. Touchy perhaps? Many use that as a sort of strength/flexibility training."

:raritywink:

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Some other authors have called Spike's job "royal fax machine. "

:moustache:

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I know you probably meant "stake", but given it's Pinkie Pie I could also see her going for the visual pun.

Darn it, I hate when I do that. Fixed!

"At least you're not calling me 'Princess Fizzlepop Berrytwist,'" she continued. "That's a mouthful, even for you. Plus, I'm still not used to the princess thing."

Yeah that would be a huge mouthful I mean I seen people with long names

"I think they just don't care about looks as much as you do, Rarity," replied Fluttershy. "I'm not saying either of you are wrong, it's just that ponies have different tastes from each other."

That is very true everybody has their likes and dislikes

Fizz giggled a little at the thought of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sure, maybe they were going about getting their Cutie Marks the wrong way, but they were just kids. They might as well have all the fun they could while they had the chance.

Definitely yes it's always nice to be a kid not worrying about adult stuff

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