Bloodshot Moon
There were many things that ran through Luna’s head when the stray beam of sunlight cracked through heavy curtains to rest upon her eyelids.
The first was pain, and the immense stabbing headache pulsed and jiggled her brain. Her horn throbbed while her stomach twisted and turned, the room feeling a bit like it was spinning specifically in whatever direction her ears most hated. She tried to crack open an eye and immediately regretted it, the searing sunlight heighting every ache and intensifying her queasiness. For a brief moment, she resented the fact that she hadn’t killed Celestia last night, and then giggled shortly before she had to suck in a breath in agony.
A few minutes later, after the beam had slipped off her forehead and settled onto her neck, she tried again. It took a long moment to stabilize herself from this jarring change, but after she had adjusted to actually seeing, she felt brave enough to attempt a movement.
She yawned and stretched a foreleg, the exhalation quickly reminding her of one of her initial complaints. She gagged on her own skunky breath, and when she clamped her muzzle shut and swallowed, the inescapable feeling of her tongue having grown a mane harangued her.
The next thing that ran through her mind was just how desperately she needed to eat something greasy.
With a fresh mission in mind she started to free herself from the luscious comforter and bed sheets. It took a moment for her to recognize that this was not her bed. She was in one of the guest quarters, a rather similar-looking room albeit, but different all the same. One particular difference she noticed with immediacy was that there was somepony clung to her, a grey foreleg under a wing and over her belly, a matching hindleg resting upon hers, a few stray locks of a long golden mane tickling her nose. She risked turning her head to view her apparent consort and laid eyes upon a uniformly grey mare she absolutely did not recognize.
She shrugged and chuckled, only gasping once in pain as she did so, and then began to peel herself away from the mare as gently as possible to not interrupt her sleep and bring upon her the same, terrible fate that had befallen herself.
A thought that she was in her normal body drifted by but didn’t seem to register long enough for her to care. The body she was in clearly hated her right now, based off of how every joint and every muscle complained and cried with her slow, purposefully quiet movements. She stepped softly not only to avoid waking up the pegasus in her bed, but also all the other ponies that were strewn about the room.
Reality caught up with Luna and she blinked, stunned, at the apparent massacre that had taken place.
Above her, tangled in a chandelier and snoring loudly, was Rainbow Dash. Directly below that pegasus was another: Fluttershy, also asleep, though she was resting on a pillow of a half-eaten cheese pizza. For a moment Luna considered snagging a slice to ease the discontent of her stomach but in a fit of rationality decided it was probably worth getting something fresh instead. She stepped around the dozens of empty fast-food containers, taking care not to crinkle any cardboard or wax paper, and slipped into the adjacent restroom to get a better look at herself.
The scene in here was just as deadly as the bedroom. Luna took one long look at Applejack, her legs splayed out flat on the cold tile, her head resting in the shower, obscured by the curtain, and ultimately decided to cede the bathroom’s territory to the unconscious earth pony.
The living room quarters were a little better, though the tangle of Twilight and Pinkie Pie on the couch took up several minutes of Luna’s time as she struggled to figure out just how they were both resting on each other’s laps. Eventually writing it off as some bastard combination of a deep knowledge of physics and a complete disregard for them, she stumbled outside, her starry mane somehow stuck slick to her forehead and dishevelled. She paused briefly in the doorway for only a second, glanced behind her and, finding no sign of Rarity anywhere, shrugged and carried on to the kitchens.
There, in the cavernously large back room of the castle, usually bustling with cooks and servants but now quiet and dark, Celestia sat at the table, perking up curiously at the sight of Luna shambling into the room. She watched her sister drop unceremoniously onto the hard wooden bench across from her, and then, without a word, silently levitated a small plate of pancakes and a huge mug of water across to her.
Luna drained the entire mug in one go, dropped the cup onto the table, and then snickered.
“Good evening,” Celestia said, smirking.
“You must be so jealous of me,” Luna said.
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This was a good read.
Maybe a bit short for my tastes.
Aw, I was kinda hoping for a proper scene between the placated Moon and Celestia as the final chapter. Oh well, it was still a fun read nonetheless!
Thanks for writing such a good fic, Aurora.
This is not just a story about partying, but about acknowledging one's insecurities and facing them head-on. Luna/Nightmare Moon's characterization was done so well in this story. The way each of the Mane 6 helped Nightmare Moon/Luna find peace with the way things are during the night perfectly drew a character arc for our beloved Princess of the Night.
Rarity's allure struck a crack in the bars of Nightmare Moon's tightly closed heart by showing her that Nightmare Night was a night where ponies could go wild without restraint. Pinkie Pie's trick-or-treats and food removed those bars by showing her how food formed fond memories. Applejack's cider fest pushed open the doors of Nightmare Moon's heart, the alcohol serving to bring ponies to a level of honesty and vulnerability Nightmare Moon had never experienced. Fluttershy's weed and philosophical discussions helped Nightmare Moon peer into the contents behind those once-closed doors, letting her acknowledge the insecurities she harbored and face them in their entirety. Finally, Twilight's offer to bring Nightmare Moon/Luna wherever she wished to go broke down the doors, letting Luna and Nightmare Moon become one in true harmony and acceptance of the love for her nights.
The characterization of the Mane 6, which was spot on, made this such a more persuading tale to read. By placing each of the main characters in a way that would seamlessly complete the arc explained above, the story receives full marks in characterization and plotline.
Bravo, Aurora, and thank you for writing this wonderful story. Hope to see more stories like this from you in the future!
P.S. Kudos to you for not giving up on writing this story for over a year. It's not a feat anyone can achieve, and you ought to be proud of yourself. Once again, good work.
That was a good story.
not bad, all told
coulda done without the shipping implications, but a solid 8.5 outta 10 stars story here
one last complaint tho: this chapter coulda been longer, and explored more of the aftermath
I loved it. Great story. As others have already said.
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m o o d
I was admittedly skeptical going into this story, as I'm not normally a huge fan of the narcotics tag. But if I'm to be honest with both you and myself, dear author, you actually did a pretty darn good job of using the "drugs and alcohol" in service of the greater narrative, and I can respect that. Perhaps the fanon references were a bit heavy-handed, and I'm not sure how to feel about who Luna woke up in bed with, but hey, that's fanfiction for you. Like I said in my first comment, I love the "Nightmare comes from within" concept and the way you explored and reconciled it in this story. Cheers, mate.
I love this story. My only qualms are 1. It's a little too short and 2. It could've used a chapter with Celestia talking with Nightmare. Other than that, it's excellent.
if you get the chance woulja mabe mind doing a story for the songs sister track, daybreaker boogie too?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7wTBGP4UFs
Fun read.
If you value your time, don't waste it on this. There is barely anything constructive, if any, beyond. You have been warned. Opinionated rambling ahead.
Starting off with the story rating. I am totally not blaming you, Aurora, definitely; either that or I'm dumb, which is impossible. I never, ever pay attention to that little mark, the one that tells about the target audience of the fic.
I finally hit me, like, in the middle of the story. Before, I thought we would get canon characters with little to no deviation. It's not like a narcotics tag is an obvious giveaway or anything, and that you specifically pointed it out.
In no place, neither with Rarity nor Pinkie did I realize it. And then came getting drunk with AJ. From that point on my vision on this fic get skewed.
Blame my environment. I personally never drunk, never plan on it, and importantly - what affects my enjoyment - lose respect for everyone who does. Only because I hardly ever see a healthy amount of drinking. Definitely, 100% not affected by me never leaving my house.
Did I just write a wall of text about how stupid and superstitious I am? Seems like I can never hit anything between 2 short sentences and 2 hours of unreadable blabbering.
Length of the fic was ideal. Comfortably short enough not to intrude my other reads, and long enough to get to know the main character and form an emotional bond with them.
Chapter null: we get a clear introduction to the problem alongside an explanation on how we plan on solving it. It serves as a final description of the story.
Here we get a first main 6 chapter, Rarity. At first I was surprised ‘Why nu Twilight?’. Why is it Rarity that we are seeing right now? After some thought, I conclude that it made the chapter so much better. Not everything has to involve Twilight so much, right? Right? I feel like leaving a story this way would help it stand out more.
This chapter made me look up the IDW comics. Reading them I realized I am not a comic person, I do not like the pacing. Nightmare Rarity was a disappointment; I set everything MLP related on way to high pedestal. Heard about her, imagined something even grander and got this.
Next is Ponkie Pie (not correcting that typo). With that chapter I had the most fun. It was innocent, showing Nightmare Moon around a holiday from the kids' side. Would've liked the whole fic to be like it, but I'm not the author.
And then there was the food, yea. For Rarity's chapter I listened to some thematic music to indulge myself more; with Pinkie, I made some street-food-like dish.
Applejack. You have no idea how much I wanted to kick her in the balls the first time we saw her. First impression? She's an arrogant bully. She overpowers Nightmare Moon and humiliates her publicly. Personally, I'd lash out hard.
Next, AJ takes us drinking, and from that moment on my enjoyment dips.
Rainbow chapter was a blur. Short and does pretty much nothing than checking RD from the list in my opinion.
Yes, we see NM's defenses crumble in a new way, but... it's not like I have not seen it past few chapters.
My problem is that: if we had either 2 or 6 main 6 chapters it'd still be hardly believable that 1000 years of anger can be snuffed out so easily. But that's a problem of the base character of NM. In my mind, millennia old souls are not so easily mendable. And portraying NM as easily distracted doesn't fit my headcanon either (who cares).
Getting high with Fluttershy, the quiet one with the philosophical mind... As I said, the post AJ chapters are skewed. Not much to say about something I read only because I just wanted to get to the conclusion.
At last, we have Twi taking us to the closer. The one where everyone is going to listen to the song.
Everyone is here! Why, though? Suspension of disbelief, here it crumbles. This setting includes everyone only to include everyone. Why would Vinyl Scratch be there? And specifically the two guards?
The after chapter was nigh perfect.
The mare in the bed was skippable, it seems like every story I read needs to suggest offscreen sex. But I can't blame you for what I choose to read. It might be a rare thing among fanfics. All blame on me here. Still would have liked it more without her. At least, a big plus comes from her being anonymous, just a random no-name. Not every character needs to be somebody we know, or have a long description... that was a long description, wasn't it?
Does everyone need to be gay nowadays? I'd actually be more surprised if it was a stallion. Why do I find myself always complaining about gay characters in Aurora's fics?
Meeting with Celestia was deliciously vague. Luna's identity and it's correlation to her future, is too, left in shadows, for the viewer to pick. Is she Nightmare Moon? Luna? Are their minds combined? How does she look like now? Will this affect Celestia, her rule of Equestia or the main 6? Spot on.
The last line, was something I wasn't ready for; expecting something cliché and forgettable.
Surprise, an alternative! It opens so many questions too. Builds up Luna's character and her relationship with Celestia. With just few words! Very satisfying last line indeed.
The problem in my opinion: REEEEEE! the freaking 6. I've already said it. It's too much, gets repetitive and forced. Nuisance gone.
Imagine if Nightmare Moon only spent her time with Rarity and Pinkie. Talk philosophy with Rarity about her nightmare form instead of Fluttershy. Get the prank-like giggle with Pinkie instead of RD. Form character bonds. Again, blame me for what I see more or less often.
Make her go to the bar alongside Pinkie and Rarity to meet the rest of the main 6. That'd be the scene in my opinion; meeting friends through friends. Instead of knowing it was all pre-planned. To know each individually a little, but not as a group. Feels artificial to me.
Now, Aurora, I have an important question. What kind of comments would you like to get, at least from me?
I am trying to learn being objective—not in this particular comment—but it's hard. I always want to put a comment of appreciation to the author for what they've provided us with, but... it's hard. Often I end up looking over my comment, seeing that it's just too negative and deleting it wholly. Easier to spot other's mistakes, eh? Especially with a good artist. Then replacing that with not useful “It was good” and carrying on in shame. The alternative is writing this whole TED-talk of—again—opinionated garbage. Is more better? I want to support authors at least mentally that way, but I have no idea of how my feedback affects you.
I did like this story - being loved is something that pretty much all of us want.
I came for the Stoner-shy, and I stayed for the character development.
This is a wonderful story. It made me laugh aloud so many times, and it even made me cry #$%&^. Kudos.
Very enjoyable.
Great story, Nightmare even got to sing her titular song. Each pony got to spend some time with her, except Celestia, who doubtless is every bit as jealous as Luna expects. Perhaps the two can spend the day trying to recollect what happened between the time Luna sang, and they got blackout drunk, and woke up back in the guest suite. I mean, I'm sure they wouldn't have thrown a big friendship orgy... but how can Luna be sure when she probably drank enough to kill a horse?
Really glad you wrote this fic. It's a nice redemption fic and it doesn't just handwave things away, but follows a progression from being reluctant and ready for a trap to slowly letting her guard down, to realizing the two halves of herself needed to find a balance.
This popped up in my feed and I couldn't help but think that NMM would appreciate a night like this too.
Howdy, hi~!
Holy buck, this was amazing. I don't know what I expected going into this, but I am really glad I read it. The individual chapters focused on different characters were so much fun. I loved Nightmare Moon in this and all the different ways she bounced off the mane cast. This was such an absolutely wild ride and so glad I got to read this.
Thank you for the read~!
Its like an bedtime story for adults.
I love this. Made my stay in the hospital much more enjoyable.
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Oh no, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been unwell!
I’m really touched that I was able to make that a little bit more bearable for you. Thank you so much for your comment and letting me know!
You can has review!
One of my favorite fics of all time. You did a fantastic job on this. Stayed up until 2 AM reading it lol
I love that people are giving NMM some more character instead of “evil alicorn wants eternal night” these days. Never have I ever imagined someone giving NMM a love for swing music!
Again, you did an amazing job on this fic. Will definitely be reading any others you have!