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Octy's starting to get suspicious. Vinyl wears her shades everywhere, even at night. She refuses to eat garlic. She wears a hoody in 90 degree weather. She sits at home with the shades drawn. Vinyl's secret is at risk of being revealed, but she must hide the truth at any cost.
This story tells the tale of "My Roomate Is A Vampire" from the perspective of Vinyl Scratch.
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hmm, interesting viewpoint of the story. will watch
Pretty good alternate version. Will be watching.
1273901NO!!!!L NO SPAM!!!!
Ok, you have my attention.
Okay here's my two cents take it or leave it:
You're putting too much emphasis on the "dead" part of a pony vampire I think. From how Dennis wrote it out I'd say his version of the pony vampire or vampony (which is a term I find redundant, but whatever) is less undead blood hungry and more akin to the human genetic disorder porphyria in which the person who has it is extremely sensitive to UV light (i.e. sunlight), has a pale skin tone, an aversion to heat, and that it's hereditary. Now add supernatural strength, predatory level sensitive sense of smell, hearing, and sight. Then add the primal predator personality that lurks behind the conscious mind that does crave to be loose and what not. And finally the requirement of blood to fuel said supernatural traits and keep the predatory personality in check and satisfied and I think you'll have it down pat.
This is just coolloo, i hope to see more awsomeness and 20% cooler
eeyup
yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
PLEASE FINISH THIS!!!
Not bad. Not bad at all. Definitely have a solid kind of voice. Characterization is down so far.
But maybe ease up on the bold face? I don't think I ever used bold face. For internal thoughts, I think people prefer to read things italicized. It's easier on the eyes, I think. Remember, when everything is emphasized, nothing is!
I'll keep an eye on this!
1282688 Awesome, thanks a lot :) And I made the amount of things bold to make reading Vinyl's thoughts be a slightly experience than reading Octavia's. I do see your point though, so I think I'll change it up. Thanks for the input :3
this is awesome, keep up the gaert work
Better formatting. Keep going!
Looking very good!
Also:
Made me laugh hard
oh no theres a tumb down tumb down
The only downside to this story at the moment is there isn't more to read.
MOAR
I agree with the first commentor as well as number 2
I agree with the three above
OMG this is awesome to read from vinyl's point of view
Good job.
i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png ~Wolf
first
and MOAR
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay
Hmmm. Seeing this from Vinyl's point of view is pretty amazing so far.
~ Timid
Now I'm going to have to read about love and heartbreak from Vinyl's point of view great...
~ Scare
Feed me moar!
Sweet... This can actually give me a good idea on different viewpoints for the episodes
I'm loving this alot, it's always great to get another point of view
Definetly enjoying this, can't wait for more!
Very excellent.
Awaiting further releases.
Um just FYI, one of your two down thumbs is me. I ment to press thumb up but my phone screen is small. It is not letting me change but I think this is because we are in the middle of a server move. If I still can't change it in a few days I will email someone.
Short version. You should have one less down vote and one more up vote then listed
AND YOU UPDATE OR DIE
LOL DURP
seriously its #Awesoume need #Moar
1370929 Haha no problem, thanks :) Maybe just shoot a mod a message and be like "Hey, is there a way I can switch the thumbs down to an up?" If not, it's not a huge deal hehe What really matters is the thumbs ups. I don't pay attention to the downs.
This is amazing. Well written good sir. Well done.
I'm pretty sure everyone that's read this has read the original by Dennis, and it seems just that more awesome that even he loves this story. You've made it sound like he himself is writing this, and it enthralls me, literally making me read all the chapters in the space of just over an hour. Also, did you go back and read all of his chapters systematically, looking for all the dialogue in his story? Because from what I remember, it looks like all of the lines are there. Anyway, I love this story, and I'm greatly awaiting for the next chapter, which hopefully is soon.
1375241 Thanks a lot! And yeah, when I'm writing a chapter, I re-read the chapter that corresponds to the chapter I'm writing plus the one after it so I get dialogue correct and try to make sure everything in my story matches up with the original.
1375908 Well you seem to have succeeded so far. Vinyl and Octavia have always been my favorite background ponies and vampires and werewolves have always been my favorite monsters so when I found the original story I was thrilled. You have done well telling it from a different perspective.
You Pegged Vinyls voice. It sounds like she is narrating the whole thingdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png . I'm genuinely impressed. Love it dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png .
I lost it
, Great job, Please keep it up 
.
there's a misspelled "quite - quiet" somewhere
*hint hint* press ctrl+f
[...]as she leaned up to kiss me, quiet passionately[...]
I re-read as much as is done because I applaud you for undertaking this, and thoroughly enjoy it. This is written like the original, but not the original. I love it.
Also, I'd really get a bigger kick out of this, if you could please update soon, because I'm donating blood in the near future.
Please?
WHAT UP
I'M OUT
1384393 What's up? Something wrong?
1383136 Fixed, gracias!
This made me laugh more times than I have EVER when reading...
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=m-ch-vid&v=RImMBI94Zv0 1:05
Ooooooo potential revaltion into the silver *very rude word starting with B that shouldn't be said*.
~ Scare
Well this is certaintly interesting to say the least. It is a really good take on how Vinyl reacted to all of this. It seems as though the exact same author wrote both stories. ...Are you secretly Denis The Menice?
~ Timid
1384481 Glad you're enjoying!
And I'm not Dennis, believe me xD I'm female. So there's some proof that I'm not him. Can't get much proofier than that haha
1384393 denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5060_large.jpg
> It definitely wasn’t love at first site
The expression is "love at first sight" -- the first time you see the object of your desire, not the first location they're in!
> Never seized to surprise me.
"ceased" (to end), not "seized" (to take)
> It was like eating Spam my whole life and then trying a little taste of filet mignon!
This is odd. I don't think there's anything wrong with a vampire talking about eating meat, but filet mignon is quite a few steps above "take a bite out of your prey", and Spam is "we've got an entire industry based around eating meat" -- strange for a herbaceous society.
1384563
We vampires have some wierd powers involving the fourth wall. How do you think Pinkie Pie does it?
~ Scare
Or of course in Equestria spam and fillet mingon are something that isn't meat. It could always be some kind of flower dish.
~ Timid
I was just eating nachos...
i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png ~Wolf
1384439
Thank you oh so much. The donation's tommorow too, you were spot on with this update. *squee*