“FFF-“
I put my hooves under the table and flipped the entire thing, sending cards flying every which way. Our drinks clattered to the floor as well, but luckily they were held in plastic cups. After a few experiences with the dishwasher, Octy had gone out and replaced practically all of our glassware with plastic ones to avoid having our glasses shatter every five seconds from wub-power. Only had a few glasses left that were actually made of glass.
I’d nicknamed the plastic glasses “plasses.” Octy wasn’t catching onto the name.
"Vinyl, why would you do that?!" Octy screeched looking frantically at the wreckage. "What a mess!"
"Because it's hilarious!" I snorted.
And because I lost. I LOST! How the hell did I lose at “Go Fish” when WE’RE THE ONLY ONES PLAYING?!
"You won't be laughing when it's your turn to clean the bathroom," she snapped as she started to pick cards up off the floor.
"Aw."
I hated cleaning the bathroom. If there were three things that I wished could just get out of my life forever, it’d be those plastic film thingies that sometimes don’t come all the way off of food products, ponies who hate on the supernatural, and having to clean bathrooms.
If I clean the living room, I just gotta vacuum and dust stuff. Just make sure it looks nice.
But when I have to clean the bathroom, every frickin’ surface is clean-able.
Scrub the tiles, Vinyl.
Wash the mirror, Vinyl.
Oh dear, there’s a smudge on the garbage can. Could you wipe that down again, Vinyl?
Everything in there is made of porcelain or ceramic or… ugh, such a pain.
I’d just levitated up a few cards that were now soaked in the cider I’d spilled when there was a knock at the door.
"Huh, I wonder who could that be?" I trotted over to the door and gripped the knob with my magic, turning it to the side and pulling it. A blur of grey and yellow charged at me through the door and headbutted me in the chest. I felt all the air empty out of me as we both flew backwards and landed on the other side of the living room.
"Vinyl!" I heard Octy yell hysterically as she rushed over to me. Trying to open my eyes, I realized everything was spinning. "Vinyl? Vinyl, speak to me!"
A blonde blur that tackles like a frickin’ linebacker? There’s only one pony I know like that!
I got my breath back and sat up, looking at the wall-eyed, blonde-maned pegasus lying in front of me.
"Derpy Hooves!"
She squealed happily as we hugged each other tight. It felt awesome to see a familiar face from back home. Three more familiar ponies walked through the front door, smiling at me.
I don’t believe it! They’re all here!
I pointed out each of my friends as I introduced them.
"Octy, I'd like ya to meet my friends from Ponyville! Lyra Heartstrings! And her marefriend—"
"Vinyl!" Lyra flushed.
"—Bon Bon.” She was so easy to tease.
"Carrot Top!"
"Hello!"
"And finally, Derpy Hooves!" Her tongue jutted out of her mouth as she waved. Octy chuckled nervously.
"And what do I owe the pleasure of having you four wonderful mares today?"
Oh, maybe this isn’t okay with her. Probably should’ve mentioned I gave em’ my new address and they might stop by for a visit.
"You don't mind, do ya Octy?" I asked, feeling a little ashamed. I really should’ve told her.
"Of course not! Come right in—well, you're all already inside, so uh, make yourselves... comfortable..."
Lyra grinned. "Ooh, Vinyl, she has an accent!" I felt myself blush a little as I elbowed her in the chest.
She giggled. Dammit. I was so easy to tease.
My friends shared everything with each other, but I wasn’t as touchy-feely as them. I kept most stuff to myself. Crushes, emotions, feelings. Hell, I had to date my last mare-friend for four months before I’d even told them about her.
I mean, I’m a frickin’ vampire. I sorta have to keep most things to myself.
Bon Bon spotted the cards spread out on the floor and smiled at me.
"So are we gonna play or what?" Bon Bon she asked, cutting off Carrot Top as she was scolding Derpy.
"Play? Play what?" Octy asked. We all smiled at her devishly. Lyra trotted over to the table and examined it.
“Vinyl’s handiwork, I assume?” she asked smirking at me.
“Whaaaat? Just cause a table is flipped, you just assume it’s me?” I asked dramatically, faking offense. Gesturing to Octy, I continued. “I mean, Octy could’ve…" Octy stared back at me, raising an eyebrow. "... Okay, yeah, point taken.”
After we’d gathered up all the cards and un-flipped the table, all of us took a seat around it. We pulled out various sacks and pouches full of money and set them down on it. All of us except Tavi, who looked puzzled by our behavior.
"With real bits?" she sighed as I shuffled the deck with magic. "Isn't that irresponsible?”
"And now you know where my paycheck goes!" I half-joked, dealing out the cards to each player.
_________________________________________________________________________
Octy bit her lip and tossed a few more bits into the already huge pile.
Sweet Goddesses, that’s a lotta cash. I wonder what I could get with that much money. I could get that microphone I’ve had my eye on or that new hair gel I’ve been meaning to try or… *Gasp* I could get, like, 30 tacos!
"Show 'em."
"Ace high."
"Pair of queens."
"Three kings!" Octy laid her cards down with a satisfied smile. Both Lyra and Bon Bon swore aloud.
Damn. She’s got it in the-
"Royal flush!" Derpy cheered.
Our jaws dropped.
"What?!"
"Yay! More muffins for me!"
"FFF—"
In a grey blur of fury, Octy thrust her hooves under the table and hurled it upwards, sending bits and cards flying everywhere.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to you.
_________________________________________________________________________
“Thanks so much for having us!”
Once the living room was cleaned up, everypony began making their way towards the door.
“Oh, you’re welcome anytime!” Octy said waving a hoof dismissively. “Though I am very sorry for my… err… outburst earlier…”
“Aahh, don’t sweat it,“ Lyra chimed in rustling my hair. “It’s not you. Vinyl’s a negative influence on everypony around her.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” I laughed, pushing her off of me.
“Well, we’d better get going, but it was great meeting you, Octavia,” Carrot Top said opening the front door.
“Hey, Vinyl, mind seeing us out?” Lyra asked exiting through it.
“Sure thing, Lye.”
Octy wished them a safe travel home as the door shut behind us. Carrot Top, Derpy, and Bon Bon walked down the stairs and Lyra stayed behind to chat with me.
“So,” Lyra said playfully, leaning against the wall, “she seems nice.”
“Shhh, not so loud!” I whispered harshly at her, afraid that Octy might here us even though the door was shut.
“Oh, relax, Vinyl,” she laughed at me, her voice a little lower. “It’s pretty obvious you've got a thing for her. I wouldn't be surprised if she’s figured it out by now. She’s a smart mare. And knowing you, you've probably already put the moves on her, but she just hasn't responded.” I felt my face get hot. Lyra always had a sort of super power for telling who liked who. This was one of the many examples of times when I wished she didn't have her super power.
“I… wha? Ugh, how do you do that?” I asked her rubbing my face with a hoof. “All I did was introduce you guys to her and you already knew I liked her.”
“It was your tone, sweetie,” she explained. “It was clear you wanted to impress her. Plus, it’s pretty obvious just by how you look at her.” I snorted.
“How I look at her? What’s that supposed to mean?! I look at her just like I look at you guys!”
“No, no, it’s pretty different.”
“Different how?”
She sighed and shook her head.
“You’ll figure it out one day, I’m sure,” she said throwing an arm around my neck and pulling her to me. “Your career is blooming, you’re finally talking about your feelings, and you’ve moved in with a high society pony with a Canterlot accent. My little Vinyl is growing up!” she dramatically proclaimed as she shed fake tears.
“Get offa me!” I laughed, blushing from embarrassment. “Why don’t you scram, alright? Everypony else is far ahead of you on the walk home.” Lyra nodded and gave me one last hug.
“Call me if you ever need to talk,” she said, trotting towards the stairwell. I stood there listening to her hoofsteps until they’d faded out of earshot. I sighed and turned the doorknob to go back into the apartment.
Me? Grow up? Like that’ll ever happen.
_________________________________________________________________________
That night, I had an interesting dream.
It started as a nightmare. I sat on the sidewalk, staring at the street in front of me. There were no carriages, no other ponies. It was dead quiet. I looked over to my left and noticed that there was a bus stop a little ways down the sidewalk. There was a white pony waiting at it, looking down the street away from me.
I began to trot towards her, eager to ask where I was and what was going on. As I got closer, more and more of her features became visible. Finally, I was right in front of her. I realized that I was looking at… myself… standing at the bus stop. Well, I thought it was myself. She definitely looked exactly like me. A street lamp illuminated her as she waited, glancing up the street. Probably to check if she could see the bus coming yet.
“Watcha doin'?” I asked slowly, causing her to turn her head towards me. She swallowed.
“Oh… I’m waiting for the bus,” my low, tomboyish voiced doppelganger answered back at me. Just then, a bus pulled up to the stop and opened its doors to her. She looked back at it at first, but then looked down at her hooves. The bus closed its doors and drove away.
“Uh, hello?” I said pointing a hoof at the bus as it drove away. “Wasn’t that the bus you were waiting for?”
“Uh… no,” she answered looking back down the street. “It's… it wasn't the right one.”
Another bus drove up to the curb and opened its doors to her. Again she looked away from it and again it drove off a few seconds later. I cocked my head a little to the side.
“… How long have you been waiting here?” I asked her as she looked back up the street.
“Oh, I uhh… I don’t know,” she answered. “I just… none of them were right.”
“How will you know which one is ‘right’ until you check em’ out?”
“I… just know. I don’t need to… I’m fine right where I am. I don't need a bus.”
"Well, do you want a bus or don't you?"
"I... yeah, I want one, but... I'm just scared."
“Well, you can’t go anywhere on a bus until you pick one.”
She looked back at me with sad eyes.
“Well, I guess I’ll never get one then.”
I was about to ask her what she meant when the street beneath me opened. I fell through a trap door, screaming as I tumbled through the darkness. Landing on my back, I coughed and sucked in air as the wind was knocked out of me.
Getting to my hooves slowly, I found that I had landed on a bunch of little… somethings. They all looked the same, but were different colors. I picked one up and brought it to my face to get a better look. It was a yellow shape that was square on three sides, but had a fourth side that was shaped like a puzzle piece, a little shapey thing sticking out of it that was clearly meant to attach to another piece.
It had a picture of a pony I’d never seen before on it. The pegasus was frowning in the picture and had orange fur and a yellow mane pulled back in a bun. It was just a picture from the chest up, so I couldn’t see her cutie mark. I dropped it and picked up another. Blue puzzle piece, light purple Earth pony with dark purple fur, frowning. I picked another piece. Red puzzle piece, white fur, unicorn, red and black mane, frowning. Every pony was frowning on each piece. Every single one.
I looked up to see that I was standing in a sea of them, totally surrounded by puzzle pieces. Besides the shifting pieces below me, everything else was dark. There was no sky, no walls, no nothing. Just a seas of puzzle pieces.
Then I noticed a piece with a very familiar pony on it. Levitating it up to me, I saw that it was a purple piece with a white furred unicorn with red eyes, small pointed fangs sticking out from her mouth. It was… me. But not the normal “me.” This was vampire “me.” Or maybe vampire “me” was the normal “me.” The little puzzle Vinyl had a sad look on her face, her eyes cast downwards. No sunglasses to hide behind.
Still levitating my puzzle piece, I began searching through the pieces on the ground with my hooves, desperately looking for the piece that would fit with mine. I tried pony after pony, but none of the pieces were a match. I had just about given up when I saw it: pink piece, grey Earth pony, black mane, pink bow tie around her neck. My hopes lifted as I went to reach for it.
Right before I put my hoof on the piece, it changed. It was no longer a pink piece, but now a black one. The unicorn on it had a gray coat and a short, silver mane. The face I knew oh too well smiled back at me, her eyes sharp and piercing. I tried to relax my hoof to let go of the piece, but… my hoof wouldn’t release. I couldn’t drop the piece. I shook it back and forth… to no avail. I shook harder. I still held onto it. I thrashed my hoof back and forth, desperately trying to release the piece from my grip. The silver pony continued to stare back at me.
I couldn’t let it go. I screamed.
Then all of a sudden, everything in the dream switched. It became a completely different setting.
I laid in my bed next to Octy and held her close to me, us facing each other. The bed wasn’t really anywhere in particular. The background was just sort of… whiteness. I could feel the warmth of her body as she was pressed against me. Nuzzling my face into her and stroking her mane, I sighed with relief. She giggled.
“I’m so happy, do you know that?” she asked looking at me with those big, violet eyes of hers.
“Yeah. Me, too,” I agreed, resting my head against hers. My stomach made a little growling sound, taking us out of the moment for a second. I thought I’d make a little joke. “Heh. You know what would make this even better?”
“I do,” she replied, pulling out a plate seemingly from nowhere. It had a dandelion sandwich on it with honey mustard dressing. My mouth dropped.
“Oh Goddesses, I love you,” I said levitating the sandwich over to me. I took a bite; it tasted like sunshine and dreams.
We laid there together like that for what seemed like hours, doing nothing but feeling the warmth of each other’s bodies, hearing nothing but the sound of each other’s breathing. It was so awesome.
That was one of the most life-like dreams I’d ever had... and I never ever wanted it to end.
_________________________________________________________________________
Unfortunately, it had to come to an end. Otherwise I’d just sleep forever and, though that did sound pretty wonderful at the moment, I had stuff to do. Records to spin, cake to eat.
I woke up the next morning alone in my bed. I laid on my side listening to the faint sound of birds chirping outside. Removing my glasses and sleeping mask, I slowly sat up, smacking my lips and rubbing my eyes with a hoof. I had put up heavy duty curtains in front of my bedroom window so I never had to worry about light coming through and blinding me, but I liked to wear the sleeping mask anyways. Extra protection.
The window still illuminated my room a bit, but I really didn't need the light. Preferring the darkness, I’d memorized where everything was in my room so that I could ready in the morning.
Put your glasses back on, stand up, turn to the right, go four steps, turn right again, take three steps forward, step the left to avoid the little pile of potato chips, keep goin’ straight, aaaand there’s the door.
My eyes squinted a little as I opened the door and the light from the hallway flooded into my room. Shutting the door behind me, I made my way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and scanning the stuff inside for a carton of milk.
“Hey, Octy!” I yelled inside the fridge as I moved around bottles and leftovers from last night’s dinner. “Do we got any milk?”
Hearing no “Vinyl, if it’s in the fridge, then we have it. If not, then no. No, we do not have it” in response, I turned behind me to look around the kitchen. “… Octy?” I looked up at the clock on the wall to see it read 10:17 AM.
Oh, duh. She’s at cello practice.
I hadn’t had work last night, so I was able to get to bed at a decent hour. Occasionally I was up this early, but it was such a rare thing that it was odd for Octy to not be in the kitchen, reading a book and scolding me that I should get up earlier.
My mouth felt dry. I was starting to sense that I needed to drink blood soon. It was a feeling different than hunger or thirst for regular non-blood stuff. You know how sometimes you just get a craving for a certain food? Like peanut butter or apples or whatever? That’s what I’d compare thirsting for blood to. It was a feeling that wasn’t there a second ago, but I just knew that I needed it right then.
I headed back into my room and opened my closet fridge to find my stash of blood bags. After taking one out and shutting the little door, I sat down on my bed and prepared to drink from it. It really sucked being confined to my little room to drink. It would’ve been awesome to enjoy it while I watch TV or…
Hey. Wait a sec… Octy doesn’t get back for three hours. I could watch TV while I drink, if I wanted to…
When you grow up as a vampire, there are these classes you can attend where they tell you the “Dos and Don’ts” of Vampirism. It’s sorta like Sunday School, but for blood sucking monsters.
Rule #4: Do not, under any circumstance, let non-vampire ponies know of your “condition.” Drinking blood in an open place where a regular pony could come and see me was a big no-no.
It was reckless. Totally irresponsible. Is it any surprise that I’d do it?
I took the bag into the living room. It was a brand new one, never been drank from before. I was about to (literally) sink my teeth into it when the phone rang.
I groaned and trotted over to the phone on the kitchen counter, levitating the blood bag beside me. Pushing the button marked “Speaker Phone,” a male voice immediately came through the other end.
“Vinyl Scratch?”
“The one and only.”
“Is this line secure?”
I glanced around the room. I was still alone.
“Yeah, sure, go on. What’s up?”
Only one organization would contact me like that; some new vamp was probably tearing apart a squirrel or baring their fangs at somepony in broad daylight or something. Whatever it was, I was the cleanup crew.
“You need to get to 12 Baker Street A.S.A.P. There’s a situation,” the voice said.
“Twelve Baker Street, got it,” I confirmed nodding my head even though he couldn’t see me.
“It’s urgent. Don’t bring anything with you. Go straight there.”
“Yeah, yeah, I heard ya. Real important. I’ll be right there.”
“Report to us once the situation has been cleared.” I heard a dial tone as the call disconnected.
I pushed the button to hang up the call on my end and rushed to the door. I may be irresponsible 97% of the time, but this was one of the rare 3% situations where I needed to be on my A-game. Lives were at stake.
I went to turn the knob of the door with my magic when I realized I was still levitating the blood bag beside me.
Dammit! No time to put it back in my fridge. Uh, maybe I could bring it with me?
Yeah, sure, bring a blood bag to a place where a new vampire is going crazy. Next idea?
Uh... I could throw it in the garbage?
A poor pony had a needle put in their arm to give you that blood and you’re going to waste it?! No way, man!
I don’t know! Hide it under the couch?
Pretty sure it needs to be kept at a cool temperature. It’ll get gross if you keep it smothered under there all day!
Is that how blood works?
I don’t know! I’m YOU!
“Uhhh… uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh…”
I started to move towards the living room then to the door then back to the living room again.
Dammitdammitdammitdammit AAAHHH! I got no time for this!
I ran to the fridge, threw open the door, and placed the bag in the back of the shelf, moving various items in front of it to block it from view.
There. I’ll be back before Tavi gets home from practice and put it back in my fridge. She’ll never even know.
I closed the fridge and bolted towards the door.
_________________________________________________________________________
It was a standard case of “Why is everypony a walking blood bag?!”
A young vampire pony by the name of Apple Bytes was playing with a few of his friends when one of them fell down and scraped their knee. There was very little blood, but such a young vampire couldn’t resist going bonkers at the smell of it. His parents had rushed him home, but not before he uprooted an entire tree and sent it flying through the air half a mile away. I had to ensure there were no witnesses to the event, (luckily there weren’t any, so it was a lot easier for me,) then replant an entire. Frickin’. Pine tree.
Did you know that pine trees leak sap? Everywhere? I didn’t. Now I do. How the hell one tree can store so much sap, I’ll never know.
Luckily Apple Bytes’ parents offered to let me use their shower before I headed back home. I was totally covered in that stupid sap, so I really had no choice. Though Octy’s seen me do enough crazy stuff that she’d believe any explanation I’d give her as to why I was covered in tree sap.
I was trying to figure out how many times I could climb up and down a tree before I got tired! The answer is twenty seven!
No witnesses, the tree was replanted, the kid was fine, and I was squeaky clean. Everything was cut and dry. So why couldn’t I shake the feeling that I’d forgotten something? Something super important.
I’d stopped by our apartment’s mailboxes to see if we’d gotten anything. Surprisingly, no fan mail for DJ Pon-3 today. Only one letter was in our box and it was addressed to Octy. I levitated it in front of me as I made my way to our place.
"Octy, I'm ho-ome!"
Ya know what would hit the spot right now? Some orange juice!
I walked into the kitchen to see Octy grinning nervously, a wide smile on her face.
"Hey Octy, you got some mail."
Still levitating the letter, I went to open the fridge with my hoof, Octy stepping in front of me.
"Mail?"
"Mail. Yeah."
"For me."
"Yeah, Octy, could you move? I wanna drink,” I said craning my neck to the side. She moved her head in a similar manner, still blocking my view. I went to my right, but she sidestepped me awkwardly, still wearing that weird look on her face. She never took her eyes off me.
"Ha-haaaa, I've never gotten mail before!" Her voice shook a little. She looked like she’d seen a ghost.
I’ve never seen her so freaked.
"Are you alright? You look nervous."
"Me? Nervous? Of course not! Let's just see who this mail is from." She plucked her letter from my magical grip and scanned it with her eyes. Suddenly, her huge smile vanished. "Mother?"
Okay, now I’ve never seen her so freaked.