• Member Since 24th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Sorren


I write like once a year.

Comments ( 64 )

Great story! I like it! :D

1224102 win. so much win. yes. I APPROVE OF YOUR AWESOMENESS! :rainbowkiss::derpytongue2::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::yay::rainbowwild:

Not bad, not bad. I usually don't bother reviewing works like this, but there is a point I have to bring up. Namely, your use of the word 'lie'. Such as "He turned on the couch and placed his forehooves on either side of her shoulders where she lie."

'Lie' is the present tense form. The one you want is 'lay'. Apart for that, I got nothing. The dialogue was well-written, the prose was very good, everything's well put-together... my only other complaint was that it was a tad abrupt. But that's about it.

1224564 Thank you for that. I'll fix that later. However, I felt myself that it was a little fast, but its hard not to do that in a one-shot. The only way around that I saw was to make a multipart, but that would eliminiate the purpose of a one-shot.

Not bad at all. This was not the best clop fic I've ever read, however, from both the lanaguage you use in the story, and the phrasing genrally (description; comments): you were not expecting it to be best. :twilightsmile:

A good way to describe this would be 'short and sweet'. It does leave me wanting; both in a fullfilled and unfullfilled sense.

Here's why: while there is a clear progression in the story, I feel that in regards to the personalities of the characters, there is a little to be desired. A fuller exploration of the reasons behind the mindset of Soarin' and Spitfire would be a welcome addition. This could also link into my hopes of a potential sequal, because I would like to see these issues explored, as well as their relationship bloom.

In any case: an enjoyable read. :twilightsmile:

This is good. You know why? Because the characters have emotion. Like the narrative said, there's passion behind this. I would have loved to see more dialogue between the two before all the physical stuff happened, but hey, this really isn't bad at all.

Keep it up!

Enjoyed this one, some well-written and romantic clop. Nice to see something which elaborates a bit more on the build-up to the main event, rather than more or less jut launching straight in. Good stuff anyway, and I look forward to seeing more of your work. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire.png

...well clearly the element of some representation in the connection is there...

..and the sex was quite... amusing...

...I believe you have outdone yourself, Sorren.

equestrian pie reference?

I loved it bro, and you deserve this like, and watch

Besides a few spelling/grammar mistakes here and there, I think you did a marvelous job. You used adult content in a very tasteful manner. Not only that, but the focus of the story were the characters. You did a lovely job developing both characters at the beginning of the story; they each have their own personalities, fears, desires, and worries. I'm usually not a fan of clop-fics because most focus solely on the physical aspect of clop at the expense of plot and character depth. I'm left wondering what happens to these love birds after this first encounter? Spitfire's character was fleshed out to a greater extend; I'm curious to get to know your version of Soarin a bit more as well. Well worth a like, and a fave! Keep up the great work Sorren!

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: Five moustaches for you!

5/5, Thumbed and fav'd. Seriously, this was fantastic. Okay, i might overexaggerate, as i tend to. I really liked it. I think the reason is that you actually wrote Spitfire to not be a bitch. I swear, every fic i read with her in it, she's got an obnoxious superiority complex. It's to the point that i see a fic with Spitfire, and i just keep scrolling. I'm super glad i gave yours a chance. It was sweet, and i loved the way you characterized both Soarin' and Spitfire. Despite it's short length, there was some depth involved that is definitely now my headcanon for these characters.

Kudos, man. All of them.

Great, thumbed and faved. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

War

1230240
MOAR, I SAID MORE!, MOHAHAHAHA!:pinkiecrazy:
This is very good, I love Soarin' and Spitfire ships

My God. This is just beautiful.

Weird thing is, I'm not a clopper. But, while reading this, I had to SIT on my hand to keep from touching myself. The story was just so compelling, the images were so bright and vivid in my mind, and I appreciate how the vocabulary was decidedly clean (avoiding words like 'fuck' and things like that), given the circumstances. I just... I loved it. Like, if this were a hardcover book, I would buy a copy and read it, even when I'm not on the crapper (even though that seems the best place to... do your thing). Personally, I can't wait to see another work like this.

Keep it up, man. 8 out of 5 stars. Fuck it, 10 out of 5. You deserve it.

*edit* Wait a second... was the fun doubled?
“I just kissed you... twice.”
“Exactly. It’s so you’ll last longer for the second go.”

Decently written story. 7/10

A few subtle grammar mistakes here and there.

Main error: "He slid her back, noting the fact that he was still still inside her."

You've got some nice characterization.

I....... I came....... twice....... Nope, make that three times. FLUTTERGASM!!!!!!!:fluttershysad::fluttercry::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::flutterrage:

1238918 I'll... take that as a compliment?

1239337 You'd better. I don't give Fluttergasms to any old average pony. This story was amazing. It was well written. I honestly think that, other tan a few grammatical errors, this was the single best clopfic i have ever read. you get all of my :moustache::yay::eeyup::twilightsmile::raritystarry::rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::ajsmug:

I must say that, althought I'm normally not a fan of pony R34 and the whole clop fiction thing, this story was very decent and had good characterisation. It wasn't just sex for likes. It had substance :moustache:

1252968 Thank you. That was the general idea I had in my head while writing this.

1253507 I must say that I'm curious about the sequel that you've mentioned on your wall :twilightsmile:

1253595 I am still in the thinking and planning stage of that, but I do plan on doing it eventually once I finish updating the chapters of my two longer stories.

1253616 Yet I have to admit that as nice and good written your fic is, my head canon is more SaorinxDash :twilightsmile: - thanks to Kukrum and her art: Double the fun and Stories

1253648 Oh, my head canon was turned to SoarDash when I saw thier pic in the final of season two. It was really hard to write around that.

1253971Actually...:rainbowhuh: I think that choosing Spifire with her "I'm lonely and I can't find anyone who loves me for who I am" issues as you put them, was the easier way to write somthing decent. If you would have gone for Dash in an after-the-wedding setting it would look cheap no matter how you would put it - at the wedding = "Awesome! I scored the hottest bridlemaid" anything other = "Another night, another fangirl." And a romance after Dash joined the Wonderbolts would require a more alborate backstory or something...:trixieshiftright: By the Great Old Ones... I think too much :facehoof:

1254027 Well, you made sense, i had to read it twice to fully understand, but it made sense. I didn't want to write a 10k backstory to it. I wante dto make it semi short and sweet. I also wrote that entire story in a single sit down in about eight hours. The Spitfire being insecure with herself route was simple and one that flowed really well and proved as convinving.

1254162 Sorry but my thoughts are like my room - in state of organized chaos :trollestia: The side effects of it may involve weird sentences, that seem incomprehensible at the first glance :twilightsheepish:

It was a sweet little story, it showed the love between the two of them, the growing emotions and such were spot-on. Well done. :twilightsmile:

THAT TITLE. CAN'T WAIT TO READ!

1266515
Just finished! Good Job, looking forward to more of your works!

Well that was worth the time. I always enjoy a good SoarinFire fic.

My two favorite things,Soarin x Spitfire and clop. Well, not a BIG fan of R34 but i like soarin and spitfire very much 10/10!.:heart::pinkiehappy:

Very nice! I really liked your characterization of both Spitfire and Soarin- going more in-depth than the usual typecast characters. The transition from talking to action was a little fast, but I read your reasoning on that one and I see your point.

What I liked most was how you built the interaction between the two and created/revealed different sides of their characters- I am now curious about the backstory of a Team Captain that's not really interested in the extra publicity and notoriety.

And nice job on descriptiveness and flow once you got into the physical scene- good pacing and most of the time I could easily visualize what was going on. You have a knack that others should pay attention to!

awesome as always sorren

Awesome Sauce bro reply to this :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Tankman585 deleted Dec 17th, 2012

Very nicely done. I enjoyed the way you characterized Spitfire and Soarin, and that sex seen was right there in the middle. It wasn't too graphic to make it dirty or less to make it uncloppable. Perfectly done, if I do say so myself. :rainbowkiss: Good job, sir. :pinkiehappy:

P.S. I should have read this a long time ago. :pinkiecrazy:

2091857 Thank you very much! I purposefully tried to keep the sex light because I don't quite like the use of some of the more bland terms like dick, vagina etc.

you need to wright a nother fic on thies two:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

2101557 I've thought about it, Got about 4k of a second chapter and died at the sex part. It just felt a little cheesy.

Login or register to comment