• Member Since 24th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

Sorren


I write like once a year.

E

Time... It truly does fly. You don't realize you're out of it until the clock's about to ring.

Cover art done by the wonderful Carnelian

(Author's note: I wrote this when I was like... 17 or 18 or something like that and it's hamfisted garbage. Read at your own risk. )

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 68 )

I could have lived without seeing Rainbow look like that, thank you.

Sad and beautiful. :fluttercry:

Everypony gets old. I prefer this to all those stories which magically make the Mane6 immortal.

Gave me a sense of realism and slashed a hole in the utopian fabric of Equestria. Seeing Rainbow Dash as the polar opposite to her in the show was hard.

Great and beautiful story. Really made me think. :fluttershysad:
I also love how I was able to contribute by proofreading.

And she died
the end :rainbowkiss:

She had to be old someday. But seeing a once hot, sexy mare having slowly withered away by the uncaring, unrelenting march of time into a faded old crone was an absolutely heartrending moment of disillusionment for me... Gods damn you, why do you thirst for my tears, Sorren?! WHY?! :raritycry:

th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/257/8/c/manly_tears_by_dylandylan72-d4n7l51.png

D'awww.
It's sad.

Great story Sorren. Manly tears

Short, sad, yet good. Perhaps bittersweet fits it better: yes, the last paragraph said she very well may fall to her death, but if so, it was doing what she loved. That, or I can go with what I'd like to think, where she flew away, but perhaps that doesn't fit the story, eh?

Slight mistake, one of the earlier paragraphs start with "gently", without proper capitalization

Good stuff, I liked it. :) :pinkiesmile:

Very few stories or fanfictions have left me in tears of beautiful sadness. I'm happy to say that this was one of them, the kind of story that tugs at your heartstrings without going too overboard. Very well written, you should be proud :pinkiesad2:

Also, on another completely unrelated note, I just realized I haven't liked/favourited any of your stories that I've read. I'm sorry for being such a horrible human being and resolve to change my ways effective immediately.

And there was a sonic rainboom over Ponyville that day... no-one ever found the pegasus that caused it.

Rainbow Dash needs to die young(relatively). I mean really -- pegasi do not age gracefully or well. A unicorn who hasn't lost her mind can live the last 10 years of her life. A grounded pegasus is a horrible sight.

"Time has not been kind to you, my friend."
We all gotta go sometime or another. You can run, jump, fly, teleport, drive, or even dance away from death but eventually the inevitable happens. Unless you're ghouled, then who knows how long you're gonna live.

1773066 In my faniverse, it's the future and she dies from inoperable cancer. Yeah I know, I killed her with cancer. But that is the way the wheel of fate spins.

I worked in a nursing home for three years back in high school. This story, perhaps better than anything else, is the best brutal, unapologetic look at how empty life can be for those in those facilities, particularly if the staff really don't give a damn. More than a few of the residents I helped back in the day were clearly just waiting for death, and although none of them ever tried to do what Rainbow Dash ends up doing in this story, I would not have been surprised if one had. I tried to help as best I could, but when you're but one man, there's only so much one can do. My heart still goes out to them today.

Thank you for writing this. It was stark, unapologetic, and achieved [Sad] through honesty rather than blatantly grabbing for reader heartstrings. We need more stories of this type in the fandom instead of shallow, "X HAPPENED AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE NOW" sadfics.

Wow... That was truly an exceptionally well written fic. I found you from an interesting chain of events, involving procrastination of work on YouTube, seeing your comments on "Bronies React to Hate Comments", clicking on your channel from your hilarious and witty responses, seeing your bio/description saying "I mostly write pony fanfiction.", Searching your username on Google, finding your FimFiction account, and finally, here I am.

All the nonsense aside, this story didn't have a ridiculous premise that a lot of other sad fanfics have and all the characters and events were very believable. You hit the nail on the head for a sadfic, and while I tend to stay away from sadfics, this was beautiful. A work of art. Spelling/grammar mistakes were extremely uncommon and the flow and pacing of the story was perfect. I have nothing bad to say about this fic.

I've had a hiatus from FimFiction recently, but your fic has inspired me to come back. Working on those unread chapters is gonna take a while...

Again, you've done a magnificent job with this and I wish you the best of luck in future work. :scootangel:

1879102 Heh. Wow, thank you. Thanks for the words of kindness, and I'm glad I motivated you to get back into fiction.

And that youtube battle... Good god. I have gotten like 20 messages to my gmail today of people praising me for shutting down all three of those haters.

I accidentally clicked on this so I decided to read this.
Glad I did.

Oh, sweet Celestia, this story is heart rending! I don't like seeing my ponies grow old and die, even though I know all things must come to an end. Great work, Sorren. You gave my heart quite a workout.

Cong grat u lations.

You made me cry.

I hope you're happy.

Also great story, very well written.

Dear God, that was beautiful. Everything about it, from the stark nursing home, to the pains of an aging body, was done so perfectly and flowed so well together. That ending, though, was by far the single greatest thing I have ever seen in a one-shot. Deep, moving, powerful. The only way I can describe this fic is with those three words.

1883567 Wow. Thank you. I have never thought I had written anything too special here.

Having visited (most likely for the last time) a grandparent who's in a nursing home, this story really touched me, not to mention all the philosophy it wedged into my mind.

Regardless of grammar/spelling issues here and there, great job.

well that was.................boring........ cant say what the future holds for me. but celestias beard be damned if i'm gonna end up like bubba ho-temp!

Very nice, and it's true what you explained about fear of death.

The ending got me... really bad :pinkiesad2:

I don't mean to sound like I'm being mean, but I'm going to put this in the back of my mind I don't ever want to think of rainbow like that. Don't get me wrong I like the story it is well written I just don't ever want to think of rainbow like that, but I love this story man expertly written thank you for creating this and you also made me cry a little. :fluttercry: :raritycry:

1884541 I can understand that perfectly. I wrote this story in a deep spout of depression after visiting an old people's home and thinking about death. I had to edit this so many times to get into EqD, and every run through ruined my whole day.

Few sad-fics ever make me cry. Good job man.

What gets me most from stories like this is not the fact death and time is inescapable, but the fact of fading away. Who you were and what you done being forgotten. That is the most scary and depressing thought to me. That happening to Dash is just painful. :ajsleepy:

Sadly, I can see something like this happening. I've no idea what happened to the other five but it seems to me that none of them could have conceived of her ending up like this. Each and every one's last thought must have been "Funny....I always thought that Rainbow would go first."

wow ... the story is so good that it got into equestria daily!!!

1757844

I have to disagree. Old age is overrated, beloved only by college professors who enjoy talking down to their younger students.
Nonetheless, the fic is well-written, and it's good to see the old folks constantly breaking out.

Beautiful writing, great plot, this was a fantastic read! Even if EQD hates my fics, I know they always lead me into good stories.

I am planning on reading this later but I just read the last three lines and almost busted out crying. I can't wait to read the whole thing.

Probably unlike the general fandom, I actually do like sad-fics. Even if they aren't well written, the plot matters a lot to me. I must admit, it is easy to make me cry, if you simply make a charakter grow old and let him look back at the beauty of his and his life having faded away. I commiserate with that on a personal level, because this is what I fear myself.

This story here, however, is well written and even though I cheated and read the end early, I went back up and completed the story.

I was goin to write "congratulations" for the good story, but seeing that you wrote this for the sake of a grandparent who is in this situation, I don't know if that would be concidered appropriate. But either way: Good story, Sorren, you have my appreciation.

This was freaking great

it made me cry... hey did dash ever become a wonderbolt? did she die while trying to fly?

1889771 I purposefully left those questions unanswered. That's up to you to decide.

fuck this was sad:fluttercry: but good you sir earn :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: and a :rainbowdetermined2:

good day

At first I didn't want to read this because I didn't want to have to deal with the feels of watching a pony who was so strong become so weak. I decided to man up and read it anyways, and I'm glad I did. I knew I would get feels, but I did not expect happy feels. When Rainbow Dash flies off (for what I imagine to be her last time) I felt content knowing that she was going out doing something she loves, which is exactly how I personally believe she would go-doing something she loves rather than simply existing and wasting away.

An amazing one-shot. Feels galore. You deserve this! :moustache:

virginmobilelive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Slow-Clap.gif
Has to be one of my favorite sadfics. Sad? Maybe not. Maybe happy. It's that mixture of emotions that really sets apart fan fiction like this from the rest. Good job, hope to see more like this from you.
Spotted the occasional error, I'm curious- did you have proofreaders for this story? Do you need a proofreader? PM me

gently, she cracked her eyes open again [...]

Beginning of paragraph, should be capitalised.

“Stop smiling,” Rainbow Dash said irritably. “Only smile unless you mean it.”

Should be either "Don't smile unless you mean it," or "Only smile if you mean it."

The two mistakes that jumped out at me. Trivial errors, really, but I might as well point them out while I'm here. On the content of the story itself, it's always sad to see Rainbow Dash fading in her twilight years (no pun intended), even more so than the rest of the Mane Six. Sad to think that that rainbow contrail, that vivacious, youthful spirit is gone from the skies forever.

This story, and those like it, evoke a very special emotion. It is true fear, loss, and sadness. A fear that is a part of everyday life for those old enough to know it. It is many people's greatest fear, although they may not see it yet. Rarely do we ever. One that many of us put aside, knowing that we will all inevitably stare into it sometime sooner than we would like. Loss, though not as we usually see it, creeping up slowly on you until it's too late. The complete and utter loss of everything you know, everything you were, everything you are; and there's nothing that can be done to stop it. You cease being what you are, what you were. Is death an end to life, or an escape? The sadness of what was and the desire to hold onto it, is crippling to those who succumb to its grip. A sadness that only you and those like you will understand, all the while those who have not yet experienced your fear, your loss, your sadness; wander through their daily lives, ignorant to their worst nightmare looming closer to their hearts than they would care to see. This is the feeling of death incarnate.

I'm sorry I wrote that, I really am. The poet in me wouldn't let the thoughts rest. Oh gods the feels.:fluttershyouch:

Here...take it. After making me cry so much you deserve it.

1897359 That... is an incredibly accurate representation.

"I am a burnt firework, but at least I was a firework."

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