Jackson Street. They're just rumors, right?
(A little something I wrote to get into the Halloween spirit. )
Chapters (1)
Sorren
Joined 24th Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Sorren · 17k words · 110 5 · 2.5k views
- Sorren · 309k words · 243 23 · 4.6k views
- Sorren · 6.8k words · 77 5 · 1.5k views
- Sorren · 3.4k words · 148 6 · 2.1k views
- Sorren · 29k words · 27 9 · 1.5k views
- Neon Icy Wings · 66k words · 1,244 19 · 17k views
- naturalbornderpy · 2.9k words · 323 2 · 4k views
- InsertAuthorHere · 28k words · 776 12 · 13k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.074 seconds
Total duration
1,050 users online
1,725,564 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice story, I'm not sure if this type of thing has been done before, a haunted street that is, but it seems like the first to me so have a
for originality and a 
for good story telling.
Nice.
My God... that was absolutely fantastic! Terrible for those poor ponies... but amazing writing and incredible suspense!
You get four hooves up!
(\(\ (\(\ ( ^_^ )
\\\\ \\\\ / /
(______)
These artistic failures and words of wisdom brought to you by:
Fluttersyke
Very well written, and amazingly chilling! Good work.
...yeah I won't be sleeping tonight...
Woah... this is pretty good. I wish there was other stories like this.
The atmosphere was definitely chilling and the writing superb. Great work!
I really liked this. Most creepy pastas (or pasta's) I read involve huge amounts of blood use, are related to video games and don't really set the mood. This really sets the mood and it would be cool if you could continue this... like new victims trying to get rid of whatever (I'm going with zombies) is down that street. My reactions in order to the story:
Am I the only one who finds creepypastas to be most effective in first person? It's personal opinion, of course, but I can't help but find other perspectives to, for the most part, lack the needed suspense.
To me, suspense is needed to create a good creepypasta, and to build suspense, I have to care about the character(s). My problem with the story in regards to suspense is:
a) it's in third person, thus losing a means of immersion
and;
b) it's about characters that have no particular meaning to me (if you used the Mane 6 or the CMC or even side characters like Rumble, where the reader likely has some form of personality in their headcanon, it'd be far more effective in my opinion).
Somewhat unrelated, but I notice that this story has virtually no reason to be ponified. There's nothing to make the story distinctly pony-related besides some proper nouns and descriptions like hooves. In this respect we can't even feel for the humanity in the characters -- I would think that one would have less innate empathy for a different species compared to another human. It's merely an inference though.
Thus, I don't find the story to be as creepy as it ought to be.
As for revealing the 'monster,' I'd be careful with going into too much detail. Our greatest fear is the unknown, and I think you can take more advantage of that.
Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. It may be worth mentioning that I generally find creepypastas to be rather unengaging compared to longer stories with more opportunities to build suspense.
2815529 yeah, I've known that this was never very good. It was sort of just practice and a fun little thing I wrote to try my hand at just plain creepy. I didn't do so well, but I tried.
chills. that was good! Glad i read it in the dark!
"vigilante" and "darting"...you must've been thinking about pulps there for a split-second. You'll also find an unwelcome "was" in that sentence.