Equestria, desperate, trapped in a four-year aerial conflict against an enemy they can not beat, seeks an end to the war. Now, hundreds of miles from Equestrian soil, deep within the enemy's barren, mountainous land, an attack on the enemy force is their last option.
Slipstream’s success and the survival of her fleet, the last of Equestria’s worthy airships and captains, is based solely on the element of surprise and her own ability as fleet commander. But her fleet of the best of what’s left may not be enough to put an end to the war once and for all.
Chapters (12)
And let the games begin...
i.qkme.me/3qpy33.jpg
Anyways, the story looks interesting so far (personally liking Captain Wiltings right now, man it's gotta suck having the name "Wilted Wings"). I look forward to the next update!
Simply awesome. I'm getting a nice Master & Commander/Halo feel from this. And if there's one thing you do well, it's characterization.
(And the fact that it's airships doesn't hurt.)
brace yourselves Sorrens about to go all guns of icarus on out asses
Now THIS, is an amazing old fashion fic, very, very, very impressive, I love it. Though I'm pretty sure you said Wings had....well wings when you said she was an Earth Pony, also I think called Thrash a girl at one point, damn this is amazing, you are very good my friend and I can't wait for more.
Though what are the captins eye colors? Not that it matters just wanted to know. Damn, the mares very much seem like they could use a drink and a smoke
Got to hate being in war and one more thing.....who are they fighting? I think it's ponies but I was rather confused and not really sure
Yes! It's finally here!
And now for the moment we've all been waiting for...
The Elements of Surprise: A Story About Ninjas.
Or maybe the Spanish Inquisition.
2141500 bunch of ninjas that never expected the Spanish inquisition. boom, instant story idea.
edit: oh, and Monty python 4 the win
Not read yet but just wanted to say, Damn... That Zeppelin with the 2 sisters logo... Mmm Mmm, lookin' good.
Added to my "must read" list.
Well...this should be interesting...
Also, your discussion of gunships makes me want to read Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.
Cliche alert
Other than that I liked the chapter. It would be nice to get a bit of perspective on how many ships are there before the battle started 14 to 6 really means nothing when you don't know what the starting number of ships are especially when one side is supposedly outnumbered. That is just me nitpicking though. I enjoyed the fight scene a lot. Keep up the good work.
2155195 Thanks. And yes
I was aiming for a cliche.
Woo, quick updates! Loved it, the whole sequencing of the maneuvres was relatively easy to follow, and overall pretty badass. But I've got a soft spot for airships, so I'm a bit biased.
So far, I'm not seeing nothing awfully wrong with the story, but I wasn't really looking too hard.
Damn, shit, talk about a battle. Wow.....this was a great chapter. You did very, very well on this and I'm really impressed, great job my frind, shit, wow.
this isn't gonna be like the star wars prequels is it? seriously though, can't wait to read.
2177495 I feel guilty saying I never got into star wars.
What?
2188201 Oooh crap. whoops. That's a big whoops
*fixed
Thanks
Ooooooooooooo.... iPad gone screwed. Back in ten
This is shaping up to be an AMAZING story. RavensDagger picked right with this as the prequel to Of Steam Gears and Wings. Good show Sorren!
2216233 Well thank you very much! It's nice to hear you have such confidence in me.
continueing on
1. Continuing.
A few errors that I noticed.
Also I like the switch from large scale to small scale battle. I can't wait for the next chapter.
2217321 Here's a few more to add
but where whipped away
The Equestrian’s right cruiser never achieve the steep climb effectively
a purple unicorn with a scraggly main and coat
and had barely crankedthe wheel
1. Were.
2. Achieved.
3. Mane.
4. Forgot your spacing.
This is really a joy to read, some of the best action on the site to date!
and, you know, airships don't hurt either
You might consider running through the first half of this chapter with an editor's eye, though. Fair number of mistakes seem to have alluded you this time around. Can't wait to see more
2221247 Thank you. And you're right, as of now, I'm going back and fixing and re-writing a bunch of things in all chapters, since I was having a lot of issues with passive tense and pronoun ambiguity, plus I wanted to touch more on the role of magic and pegasus combatants, so a bit in one and two are going to be changing, smaller details, but nothing affecting the storyline.
Gods, talk about a bloody air battle, damn, poor Briar. You done very, very well. They won. But at what costed
Shit, wonder what may happen now though.
Well, a bloody, realistic, and tactically competent tale that's shaping up to show a spectacular event in the distressing past of the gears and wings Equestria. This may only be the beginning of a well written tale by someone who obviously is competent at describing the horrors and honest hardships of warfare as well as introducing and creating natural banter between previously unknown characters. In a short span of time, you've gained my sympathies for various characters and then expertly weaved their fates into meaningful causes and effects. Each struggle and fight being paid for in spades of effort and making their short lived triumphs something worth getting a little excited over, and their grievous losses something to briefly mourn before they are pulled away to meet a world that does not seem to wait for them to properly accept such fates. The acknowledgment of those "extras" as being actually characters in and of themselves, though they do not play an important role in this story, is appreciated as well. It makes the world feel more alive and realistic. It shows that the world does not revolve around the main characters of this story, but rather that they are working within it among many other unspoken for ponies.
2254515 Wow. Thank you. You put this into words better than I could myself.
Thanks a lot for that wonderful comment.
2255143 It's pretty easy when there are a lot of things to praise.
It keeps saying that I haven't read a chapter of this when I've read all three. Do you have an illusive forth submitted but not published? It's been like this even before the rather extensive update to FIMFiction.
2273506 No... All I've got is three chapters. put up here.
2273506
Im having the same problem
2318447
odd, it seems this story has a ghost chapter. Sorren, could you check around your options and just look for something that might be causing this. I hate coming on to FIMfiction each day and going "OMG YES! Aerial Dominance has... not updated. damn."
2318472 I don't know what's going on! ahhhhhh. I only have 3 chapters created.
YES!
It finally updated! for real this time!
Interesting to see the fight from another point of view but it seemed a little short and now I've got this cliff hanger.
I'm going to add this to a few "war in Equestria" groups if you don't mind. Should give you some more, much deserved publicity.
2338186 EEee! Thank you.
An yes, it is a little short. Basically, I've set up this part of the battle, now I'm going out and giving chunks of detail here and there and introducing charecters for later in the story.
2339248
Couldn't you have just done that with a few separation lines? ( --- or *** )
OR
_/==========\_
| / \
+=\_ ooo ooo _/=
| \___________/
-|_|_|o|_/
I am once more impressed beyond measure. The sheer detail and emotion you place in describing these times of bravery and cowardice on a battlefield hundreds of feet in the air... It's truly of movie quality. I could quite literally see something faithfully directed from this shame many of the most anticipated movies out there.
The realism of the situation is staggering and the thoughts and feelings are all very organic and fit perfectly to the situations they are placed within. The reactions and laments of a burned and scarred airship captain flowing in such a way that you could honestly see the kinds of things that ponies (and most likely people) do when they are scared and and in pain.
2427601 Sometimes I swear, it's your little reviews that make me want to get chapters out faster
Seriously, when I posted this I was thinking of what your comment would be.
2427781
It's why authors do what they do. Hell, it's why almost everyone does what they do. People just like being told that something they've put time and effort into was done skillfully and is appreciated.
Not bad at all.
Small problem, though: you misspelled "protocol".
Another utterly fantastic chapter, bravo
.... Me gusta.....
First comment.................................................
because hands. Sorry I had to mention it...
Otherwise, it still holds to much of the same skill as before. True, that last chapter's emotional explosion of death, fear, and moral atrocity in the name of survival is a tough act to follow but this fits in very well and moves the story forward. I'm not sure if this is the end of the battle, or if Wiltings is going to somehow save a lot of lives but I look forward to finding out what happens next.
2504563
Shame on you for playing that silly game!
2505386
You'll just have to wait and seee MUAUAUAUAUAH!!!
Seriuosly though--this is just where things get interesting~