Long-Distance

by Bicyclette

11. Sunset

Wallflower felt comfort in the arms of her friends as she hugged them for the last time. The last time she would ever feel the touch of another being like that. She tried not to think of it that way.

One last exchange of looks. Applejack in her familiar hat. Rarity stunning in her stunningly impractical end-of-the-world couture. One last smile. Just the way she would want to remember them, whatever that meant in this case.

Rarity and Applejack turned away and began their very last walk back to the farmhouse. Wallflower just stood there, watching their images shrink, focusing her vision on the sight of their held hands. She felt a sensation in her palm. The feeling that something that should be there but was not. When they were too far away to make out their held hands, she turned around to face the horizon, and talk to Sunset.

One last conversation with Sunset, leaned up with her back against that apple tree, the setting sun blazing orange on the horizon as a backdrop. One last dip into a lifetime of memories. Or half a lifetime, as Ms. Rose had called it all those years ago. One conversation wasn’t enough, even for half a lifetime. But what would be?

Towards the end, just gazing into each other’s eyes through their screens in silence, trying to keep the ticking timer in the corner out of their mind. Until it ticked down, and the bandwidth of the journals narrowed, shutting off the video and sending the last image of those sky-blue eyes into oblivion. One last insult of the winding down. Well, not the very last. One more to go. Two, for Sunset.

Wallflower was grateful for the time synchronization between their two worlds for one last time, knowing that
Sunset was watching the very same setting sun.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Wallflower asked. She held up her arm to compare it to the tattoo on her wrist. The artist had tried their best, but it didn’t quite compare to the real thing.

“It is.” Sunset’s voice was weak. Wallflower hated hearing how far it was from that confident tone she loved. She spoke.

“It’s the second-most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.”

A laugh, and a groan. Wallflower smiled.

“How long have you been saving that one?”

“Oh, for years now! Ever since they nailed the time down to the hour.“

Sunset laughed again. It was beautiful.

Silence passed. They kept holding dots.

Wallflower could hear Sunset try to calm her own breathing.

“What are you thinking about, Sunset?”

“What else could I be thinking about, Wally? How awful all this is.”

Sunset’s breathing grew more agitated.

“I just can’t bear the thought that this is the last time I’ll say that I love you. That there’ll be a last time.” Sunset sobbed. “And I know, I should be saying something less useless than that right now, but I—“

“It’s okay, Sunset. There’s nothing to say to make this better. And you can’t control how you feel. I’m just glad you are here with me.”

That seemed to calm her down a bit. She could hear her take some deep breaths.

“Me too.”

Another stretch of silence passed. So little time left, yet to Wallflower it felt so much. She was so very bad at goodbyes.

“Sunset. Do you remember what my mother said to me the last time I ever talked with her.“

“I remember,” Sunset said, a bit taken aback. “I know you said she didn’t mean anything, but it was still an awful thing to say.”

“It was how she really felt! And I really think she did just feel guilty. And it wasn’t like I didn’t already know. That apartment was dark and quiet for a long time before you ever even met me, Sunset.“

Wallflower sighed.

“But what I never told you is that I agreed with her. That she was right, and I saw like she did that life wasn’t really worth living, in the end.”

“You did?”

“Yes! The world brought me into it without asking, left me all alone to find what little joys in it I could, and was always going to take it all away in the end. It just seemed so cruel.“

Wallflower could hear the anxiety in Sunset’s voice.

“But that’s changed, right?”

Wallflower paused as she thought of her answer.

“I think that of all the lives that I could have lived, I can’t think of one I’d have wanted more than the one I spent with you. I have no regrets. I love you, Sunset.“

Wallflower smiled, knowing every word of that was true.

“I have no regrets, either. I—”

Sunset interrupted herself with a panicked sob.

“I—”

Another panicked sob. It felt so wrong, hearing her like this. But no wonder. There wasn’t much time left now.

“It’ll be okay, Sunset. It’ll be okay.” Wallflower spoke with a soft voice as Sunset’s sobs continued. She glanced down at her phone. Two minutes left. “There’s something important I need to tell you.”

“T-there is?” Sunset squeaked out.

“Yes.” Wallflower looked back out at the setting sun. “Twilight told me something last night. There’s a chance that Pinkie was right after all, and that when the last of the magic goes, the shift won’t be enough to destroy what’s left of our universe. It’s a small chance, and I won’t tell you how small because I need you to believe that’s what will happen, Sunset. Okay?“

Wallflower looked down at her phone again. Ninety seconds.

“O-Okay.”

“You have to believe, because either way, it’ll look exactly the same to you! Like our universe isn’t there anymore, because the last connection is gone forever. But if this happens, we’ll still be here, just with no magic at all. Twilight said that they could even make the children start being born again. Only they won’t be as colorful as us.” She held her hand out in front of her. “They’ll be peaches and tans and browns. No more blues or greens or yellows. Isn’t that funny?”

An absurd chuckle broke through Sunset’s sobs, to Wallflower’s delight. “That is funny.”

“Can you imagine it, Sunset? I’ll watch the sun go down, and sit here until the very last reds of it disappear into the quiet night. Then I’ll walk to the farmhouse, and have dinner with Applejack and Rarity and their family like it was any other day. Those who have fallen asleep will awake to a world that is still here, and we’ll all go on…”

Twenty seconds.

“Can you imagine it, Sunset?”

“I can. I can imagine it.”

“I need you to tell me, Sunset. I need you to tell me that you’ll believe this, okay? That this is goodbye, and that is so unbearably awful, but I won’t be gone. That there won’t ever be a last time we’ll say that we love each other because every time I remember you I’ll imagine you saying it, and I’ll hear it, and I’ll say it too, and you’ll hear it too, okay? Can you promise me that?”

Ten seconds.

“I promise.”

“Good!” Wallflower laughed. “I’m going to miss you so much, Sunset. I’m going to hate it, too. Watching you become a memory in my mind.”

Five seconds.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Wally. I really am. I really, really am.”

Three seconds.

“I love you, Sunset.”

“I—”

Silence. She looked down at her phone. Connection lost. Twilight had been off by two seconds.

That’s what she got for being so bad at goodbyes. At least Sunset heard her say it. And she heard Sunset promise. That would have to be enough.

Only seconds left now, so why not? She opened up the journal to the front page and wrote. Only ink stained the page. No glow, as far as she could tell.

I’m still here.

She smiled. As far as last things she would ever do in her life, it wasn’t so bad.

But it wasn’t the very last thing.

The very last thing was being overwhelmed by a feeling of joy as underneath her words, the faintest, most imperceptible glow of orange began to trace itself out.

I love you W

Comments

[iAmSiNnEr]

this wow

[Sledge115]

Huzzah, it's out

[iAmSiNnEr]

bike. I had to stop reading the last chapter for a moment because you really hit hard. Thank you for this gem.

[bobbananaville]

oh my god i love this
and i'm so sad
holy shit

[RDT]

Memento Mori. This story. Wow.

[BobSweezy]

There are some lines that should be indicated with italics for Wallflower's responses that aren't, and some parts broke on the 'character per paragraph' (chapter 10 was difficult) which made me confused in certain points. About who was talking, I mean. Some parts also suddenly lose their italics. But otherwise, the narration is evocative.

This is a good story. Reading this contest's stories was a good choice. And there are still so many...

But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off on this one. I hope you don't mind if I ramble. I don't want to offend anyone.

I think it was the romance aspect. At times it felt like it was almost secondary? The part with the Foundation, the world-building... honestly, I would've been fine with just the short description as a setup. I wanted to see Wallflower and Sunset talk, see how their relationship was (very cute, btw ), but the world-building kind of got in the way of that. The start was very strong with that promise, so I guess I was disappointed.

There was even a point (chapter 5 mostly) where even inside their own interactions felt like the world-building came first, and there were sprinkles of cute back-and-forths to remind the reader 'they are still a couple!' and not two puppets droning on about their circumstances, setting up the next dialogue where they are back to being a couple.

I guess the phrase is 'overstayed the welcome'? To contrast, I felt like Ms. Rose's section, and to a degree, SciTwi's too, were perfectly fine balanced. If the others were handled like that, more naturally and not taking up the space, this would've been much better .

There was also how neither really felt like they changed in twenty years, I think. I could go to chapter eleven and that pretty much feels like the Wallflower and Sunset from the beginning, twenty years ago. But that's not necessarily a bad point. Just curious characterization.

I didn't understand them saying 'I love you' at chapter 10.

What romance there was was good, though. I really wish it was trimmed down, since I liked reading those two, and this is a shipping contest. Maybe the Romance tag could be changed to a Slice of Life, but I guess that defeats the point of the contest .

I'll favorite it. It's very good outside that context.

EDIT: I'm sorry if I didn't spoiler mark things. I'll do it if you want me to.

[The Sleepless Beholder]

Congratulations on being the first story in this site that made me cry.

Them joining dots was the most sweet and painful thing to read.

[Reese]

Chapter 4:
"She looked up at Princess Celestia, who had been sitting right in front of her the whole time."
Was that supposed to be the Princess?

Chapter 9:
"“Will it really?”"
Will it really what?

Right, and glad I got and listened to those recommendations despite your claims on the story's quality! :D Perfect, no, but quite good, I think. :)
I am now, however, rather a lot behind schedule, so no time for more detailed commentary (I don't have any leaping to mind right now and demanding to be typed, anyway; there are probably things I could talk about, though). Thank you for writing, though!

[Bicyclette]

10766335
Ah, fixed those up, thanks!

[Reese]

10766455
Ah, thanks!
[checks]
Yep, those look fine to me now. :)

[TCC56]

Now that is an ending.

[Bicyclette]

10764659
One reason I was initially disappointed with this story was that I felt I did not have the chance to develop as many of the themes as I wanted to due to the space and time constraints. But with so many on the table already, balancing that with the worldbuilding and relationship development was always going to be difficult. The things I ended up cutting were actually all worldbuilding, and maybe if I had more time that process would have continued and I would have focused this more on the nuances of the relationship.

10764598
10764614
A very high compliment, thank you!

10764618
It's as much about how to leave behind

10765946
That was definitely one of the parts I was most proud of. It's a beautiful image in my mind.

10770003
It was the mental image that forced me to write the story.

[iAmSiNnEr]

The story has been reviewed at the Reviewer's Mansion here! Thanks for writing!

[Bicyclette]

10821274
Thank you so much!

[Seaquestria2121]

This story was a real gut punch. There was real life and depth in these vignettes.

[Bicyclette]

11658266
thank you so much, this was so nice to hear! :)

[Thyrrnatf]

what a great story.

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!

[SparklingTwilight]

This is great. The tragic sense of centripetal-folding history juxtaposed against Wallflower's life accepting journey in the other direction. The mad scramble for invention--Twilight's efforts and everything!

[Ice Star]

This story and the prequel honestly destroyed me.

[Bicyclette]

11808527
thank you so much! i am very glad you saw and appreciated those throughlines!

11853399
that is so wonderful to hear, thank you so very much!