Do You Like My Shorts? They're From Bermuda.
Applejack furrowed her brow. “What did they sell again?”
Discord, at least, had the decency to look sheepish. Filthy just shrugged. “Flowers, mostly. And I believe they were planning to diversify into mulch and gardening tools.”
Fluttershy coughed faintly from under her respirator. Here on the hilltop overlooking the city, the smoke was nearly unbearable. At least a faint westerly breeze had started to blow. Rainbow tried to help out, fanning her wings, but quickly gave up.
Rarity poked Twilight again. “She’s still out of it, I’m afraid. Not surprising, considering all that’s happened.”
“Well, everypony got out in time,” said Discord, scratching the back of his neck with his lion paw. “I mean, it’s not like anyone was hurt. Just...”
“Homeless.” Applejack had progressed from “furrowed” to “glaring.”
Filthy harrumphed, and Rarity dimly realized she had never actually heard a pony do that before. He looked down his nose at them as he spoke. “A little adversity is to be expected in these troubled times. Not like they’re in dire straits just yet. I mean, there’s plenty of grass to eat. And bit-shortages aside, there's still the possibility of government help.”
Discord winced. In the distance, the last precarious remains of Canterlot Castle fell into the burning city.
Rarity levitated a collection of sewing needles. “How. Did. This. Happen.”
Filthy took a step back. “It was Discord’s idea!”
“My idea! What baloney. I’ll have you know....”
“I was just balancing ledgers, and the numbers moved, and he was in the books swapping things around and making suggestions...”
A sewing needle embedded itself in the ruined tree next to them. Filthy swallowed, and collected himself, restoring his haughty demeanor.
“I can’t expect common ponies such as yourselves to understand the details. This is high finance, after all.”
Applejack gritted her teeth. “Try us.”
“Very well. Consider... well, suppose you thought the price of flowers was going to go up, and wanted to use that knowledge to make money. What would you do?”
“Buy some flowers, and then later on, sell them?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I mean, obviously.”
“Yes. But, and this is the tricky part... suppose you thought the price would go down? How would you make money then?”
That was a stumper. The assembled ponies looked at each other for a moment. Another sewing needle separated from the pack, quivering threateningly.
Filthy sighed. “Discord?”
Discord scowled. “Well obviously, you sell some flowers, and then later on, buy them.”
This took a couple of minutes to sink in. There was a faint thump as the Flim & Flam Chemical Works distantly burst into flames, burning fiercely with a brilliant green color.
Applejack wasn’t giving up. “How in Celestia’s name can you sell flowers before you buy them?”
Discord grinned wickedly. “That’s the clever part! You borrow them from somepony. For a small fee, of course. Then sell them, and when the price comes down, buy replacements to give back to the pony you borrowed from. Absolutely foolproof, and quite profitable. Unless.”
A flight of very sooty-looking pegasi flew overhead, dragging a scraggly collection of rain clouds. Rainbow jumped up to join them, but quickly fluttered back down to earth. It was really hopeless at this point. At least the river had stopped the fire for now.
She settled for poking Discord in the ribs instead. “Unless what?”
Filthy stared. “Go on. This was your brilliant scheme.”
“Unless... the price does not in fact go down,” Discord finished, shrugging. “But I mean, nine times out of ten, that’s what happens. And the rest of the time you just shrug and lose a little money. Really, it’s brilliant. Right up there with my idea for sugar-sweetened snorkeling equipment. Unless.”
Applejack put her hooves over her head, breathing deeply. “Discord, get to the point.”
“Unless... the price does in fact go up, and you happen to sell too many flowers.”
“How many flowers is too many?”
“I want you to understand, I was only trying to help. Filthy’s business was doing terribly this year, barely making 200% profit. It needed a real kick in the...”
“Discord,” said Fluttershy, taking off the respirator. “It’s late, and we still have to deal with the radiation problem. Can you just tell us how many flowers you sold? Maybe we can ask the zebras to help out. They have all kinds of lovely orchids and tulips.”
Fed up with Rainbow’s poking, Discord turned his midsection into jello, and his limbs into pastries. He scratched one of his horns with a lemon-meringue claw. “Er, all of them.”
“What do you mean, all?”
“All the flowers in Equestria,” chipped in Filthy, looking perversely proud of himself. “And Zebrica, and the griffin kingdom, and even all the snow-crocuses from Yakyakistan. Plus another forty percent or so. You can borrow flowers more than once, of course. No rule against that.”
Rarity gaped. “That’s insane! Why would you do such a thing!”
Filthy glowered back at her. “I’ll have you know, if it had worked, we’d have made a tremendous pile of bits. Which seemed very likely until word got out, and other ponies started buying up all the flowers. I mean, I don’t even know why we let common ponies buy them. All they’ll do with a flower is go plant it somewhere. Wasteful.”
“Ten years,” mumbled Twilight. Applejack and Rarity looked over with concern. “What was that, sugar cube? Glad you’re back with us.”
Twilight’s expression was unreadable, as she watched the flames. “Ten years,” she repeated.
None of the ponies, or the draconequus, know what to say to that. So they sat on the hilltop in silence for a while, watching the fire with her. Rainbow’s stomach rumbled.
“I don’t feel like eating grass,” muttered Fluttershy.
“That’s OK,” said Discord gently. “There are plenty of flowers to eat. They’re very cheap now.”
“Ten years,” said Twilight, still staring glassy-eyed into the flames, “is the minimum amount of time needed to rebuild after total economic collapse. And the law says it has to be personally directed by the Princess, to prevent conflicts of interest. Does anypony else want to be Princess?”
There was dead silence. Filthy shuffled back slightly, trying to seem inconspicuous. Discord looked thoughtful. “Not really, but hear me out on this. Maybe we could borrow a Princess...”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Leondude · 1.1k words · 122 12 · 2.8k views
- SockPuppet · 1.5k words · 81 4 · 793 views
- GaPJaxie · 2.8k words · 149 12 · 1.8k views
- Loganberry · 2.3k words · 115 7 · 1.4k views
- Zoura3025 · 1.7k words · 21 1 · 458 views
- BootyPopperzZz · 1.3k words · 37 2 · 962 views
- Hopeful_Ink_Hoof · 3.3k words · 47 3 · 968 views
- False Door · 9.4k words · 89 5 · 1.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.191 seconds
Total duration
609 users online
888,065 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I quite like the final line. (It only works if you read the rest of the story first.)
I like the rest of the story too.
This is in reference to the GameStop thing, isn't it?
The perfect amount of chaotic. Nicely done.
I was waiting for someone to write a fic about the $GME scandal. Good shit right there.
Entertaining and informative of recent events at the same time. Good job.
So basically this is the equivalent of the tulip trade in the dutch.
Thanks everyone!
Crazy times we live in. Can't wait to see what happens next week.
Poor example but it gets the point across.
I find this tremendously amusing.
So, this is either a scathing attack on our current banking system, or something to do with either GameStop or "$GME"...
What's going on?
10655574
A bunch of hedge funds overdid it a little, "short-selling" GameStop stock (ticker symbol GME): GameStop short squeeze.
Supposedly they borrowed, and then sold, about 140% of available shares.
Personally, I think this is the strongest evidence yet that Discord has been secretly using the mirror to visit us.
Topical.
You do remember who you are talking to, right?
As long as you don't see this pony walking around hope is not lost:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/10/18/2172407.png
Source.
oh
well then
10655613
Ah.
Got ya.
Coughs
DDDDIIIISSSSSSCCCCCCOOOOORRRRRDDD!?!?
This. This is the kind of MLP fanfick that one needs to read to one’s children.
Well... actually, there kind of is, which is one of several reasons why the short-sellers in the GME fiasco have been sweating bullets ever since this thing blew up. "Naked shorting", or short-selling of stocks which you don't actually possess and haven't verified your ability to possess, has been illegal since at least 2009. It's not very rigorously enforced, but given how very, very public this particular scheme has become, it's not impossible that someone could end up going to Tartarus for this...
Wait- Isn't this what literally happened to the Dutch Empire in the 1600s? Tulip mania and all that?
Also, new law: Never Let Discord touch Money.
10656291
Also the one where Rarity is outraged by the human world creating artificial scarcity in diamond markets and works to secretly flood the market with Equestrian gemstones and crash it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/401009/the-trouble-with-unicorns-iv
https://www.cnbc.com/2021/01/31/silver-futures-jump-7percent-as-reddit-traders-try-their-squeeze-play-with-the-metal.html
I love the story, man. This is going in my favorites and you're getting a follow. It is topical, but that alone isn't why I like it so much. You seem to know humor quite well, and this thoroughly entertained me.
ah game stop vs wallstreet come to fim
10656618
) market bubble, where the asset prices went way too high buoyed by irrational optimism, much like what happened with tech stocks during the dot-com boom, and US housing prices before the 2008 crash.
No, the tulip mania was a garden-variety (ba-dum-tish!
The Gamestop thing is a short squeeze, where the hedge funds selling Gamestop short got caught by rising share prices when the Reddit people started buying the stock, leading to a self-reinforcing price rise as the short-sellers scramble to cover their shorts before they lose too much money, or they face a margin call.
The current Gamestop share price is a bubble, and the price will crash very quickly once the squeeze has passed, but the bubble is a secondary effect.
10656560
Yep, people are starting to say they've got their hands stuck in the cookie jar.
It is theoretically possible for short interest to go above 100% legally (link) but there's now lots of talk about naked shorts and collusion and strategic-fails-to-deliver and other slimy things which are frankly beyond me. Tartarus is a definite possibility.
And a big THANK YOU! again to everyone here for your kind words. Had no idea my little story would get this kind of attention.
My only complaint is that Filthy Rich seems too sensible for this sort of scheme.
Now, if it was Spoiled...
10654557
10656291
10655574
10654580
Absolutely!
10657056
I say let the hedge funds reap what they sow!
10657080
Seems more like something Flim and Flam would do.
10656713
Which story is that?
10654781
10656618
I was thinking the same thing.
10656713
Haven't heard of that one before, but it sounds absolutely hilarious. Just curious, do you have a link?
10656713
I, too, would love to have the link to this story.
Gosh, I love the destruction that ensues in this! Everyone's reactions are priceless, justifications are hysterical, ahh this is one heck of a masterpiece when it comes to humorous chaos! I hope ya didn't mind, but I simply had to make a reading on this lovely fic of yours!
Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/ojEyje0N3PI
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
This story feels oddly relevant today.
DogeCoin forever!
Oh dear Celestia, don't even think about it!
💎💎🙌🙌
The whole last week has been a wild ride.
I fear that this debacle will end in government intervention, more regulation and ultimate win of financial sector (as it was for exapple in 80 and 08). On the other hand I wish that at least this time a little man wins and that months from now all the autists from reddit would proudly say "apes together strong"
Yes let us put Cadance on the throne of Equestria Discord, nothing could go wrong with that...:)
10657732
Ok, hear me out. Maybe not a Princess. But what about a Principal and Vice Principal?
Haha, stonks go brrrr.
10657294
Don't mind at all!
Sounds cool.
10657847
Something tells me that could go as haywire as a hell gets out, but not as much as leaving twilight at the wheel on her own or worse bringing back the actual royal sisters.
Lets do it.
You forgot the part where the ponies buying the flowers know EXACTLY what they are doing to the economy and loving every minute of it.
10658095
"Don't you realize what you're doing?" asked Twilight frantically. Her mane stuck out in all directions; at this point, any one of Fluttershy's birds would have been proud to call it home.
The stallion running the flower cart shrugged, not even trying to hide the petunias any more. "They're in demand. Ponies have bits, so I have flowers. That's how a market works."
The full force of Twilight's frazzled attention fell on the mare with the bits. She shrank back, as Twilight's nostrils flared crazily. "And what about you? Are you proud of yourself?"
The mare was silent for a moment, then shrugged along with the stallion. "We like the flowers."
Breathtaking line. This line is doing so much work, my god.
https://www.pcgamer.com/hollywoods-already-bought-the-rights-for-a-gamestopreddit-film-script/
Oh, Hollywood. How far you have fallen.
Thank you for your perspective. It was spot on and enjoyable.
10656713
Ooo. Ooo, yes.
10658399
Can’t wait to see the exploits of _DICK_BUTT_420xxx on the silver screen.
Discord: “Not really, but hear me out on this. Maybe we could borrow a Princess...”
Applejack: “I got the rope.”
Rainbow Dash: “I’ll hold him down.”
This story is the perfect crossover of Wallstreetbets and the Animal Crossing Turnip Exchange.
My hat's off to you, Sir.
Nice edutainment story, but I wish it was longer. I'd like to see how some of the destruction started, for instance. Everything burning is a huge leap from a short squeeze. It also leaves out the issue of there not being enough flowers to actually fill the orders more implied than demonstrated.
Also like that it's flowers, but you missed a trick here. It should, imo, have started with tulips, in reference to the tulip bulb bubble in Holland that was the first known speculation bubble.
10657075
The story description is correct (maybe should respond to comment rather than reply to comment but whatever). It is quite possible for there to be > 100% short/float (or short/oustanding) by borrowing the same stock multiple times before the first contract in the chain expires (if it does... some don't). It is also possible for there to be naked shorting: The law only requires delivery within 3 days (well like 2 1/2 but anyway). It used to not even require that. There were basically no laws on naked shorting pre-2009: the only restriction was how long you could get away with it without being sued. Post-2009 the primarys way to naked short are to pair short and long contracts, or to chain short contracts so that the 3 day period keeps resetting. For the latter, you 'borrow' 1 share without ever actually taking delivery. 3 days later you borrow another to make delivery on the first, but now you have a new short at a different price. you lose money on interest and transaction fees each time, but if you think it's just a matter of time until the price crashes it may be worth it. Note the second share doesn't have to actually exist either, because of the way the clearing houses write their ledgers. The why is complicated enough and old enough that I've not seen a good breakdown of that story. If I didn't already have a job I might make that documentary myself, but as it is I'll wait for someone else to tackle it.
...Or assuming management and ownership are separate, declare bankruptcy. Clients lose money but the owners have already cashed out. Don't know enough about hedge funds to know if this is viable in this case, but it's not an unheard of thing in other sectors.
10658145
Also something that should be in a theoretical longer version of this.
10657202
10657170
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/401009/the-trouble-with-unicorns-iv
It's by Admiral Biscuit.
...I don't get it.