• Member Since 20th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

AutoPony


I write stuff sometimes, mostly involving best princesses, Luna and Celestia.

T
Source

Dealing with a sibling can be difficult sometimes, moreso when said sibling is in a bad mood. Just ask Princess Celestia, who has to juggle running an empire while balancing her relations with her younger co-ruling, chronically ill-tempered, inappropriate sister.

Princess Loona's name was always spelled with two o's... right?


This idea came to me during a night of drinking. I decided to follow it because it offered me more vodka.

Rated teen for an inebriated, foul-mouthed hellhound.

Cover art and the character Loona herself are from Vivienne Medrano's (VivziePop) Helluva Boss pilot.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 35 )

I sorta didn't get it at first, but then she said her name with the two 'o's

Sounds like we missed a helluva evening with the griffons there.

Fantastic story there, had me chuckling all the way through.

hey correct me if i'm wrong but isn't this a crossover since you're using someone else's IP apart from MLP

Can't stop laughing.

... I don't know what I was expecting when I clicked on this, but it wasn't what I read. Still a great story!:pinkiehappy:

It took me a moment to realize the joke was in Luna's name lol

"They're part lion and part eagle. If you wish to dumb it down, yes, I suppose you are technically correct,"

Wait, I thought MLP operated off of "Our Gryphons are Different" logic, where while they're all Classical Griffins (bird front half, cat back half), some of them incorporate different species, like a tiger or an owl.
derpicdn.net/img/2016/6/7/1172163/large.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/6/7/1172180.png

This excellent crossover reminds me of the one featuring Carl Brutananadilewski from Aqua Teen. Hats off to you!

10495877 Very correct. Could be a minor oversight.

10495877
10496263
My bad, I completely whiffed on that tag. I've updated it, thanks for pointing it out.

10496242
I'm not going to lie, I completely forgot about any of the other griffons aside from Gilda, Gabby, and (though I try to forget season 8 and 9 anyways) Gallus. I corrected that bit, excuse my ignorance.

Comment posted by AutoPony deleted October 23rd

I...would actually like to see a story where Loona grew up as a sister to Celestia and Luna...the insanity would be glorious!!

"Sit on a dick, Moxxie."

First 5 words she says in the animation and she immediately became my favorite.

Loona is doggo. Must pet.

Yes, I know she'll kill me. Slowly.

I still must pet.

10496757
some things in life are worth dying for

10496729
"I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass."

My favorite line, and very relevant since I work the graveyard shift. (I don't drink often, though. More of a social drinker than anything.)

"What in Equestria is a hellhound?"

Celestia considered her question for a while, but lapsed back into peaceful slumber after she figured she must have read about the creature in question sometime in the past, quite possibly a foal's tale. And she couldn't have been happier, for the dream beach was far more relaxing than the nightmare.

The sun was blaring down on her, the gulls were squawking in the distance, and the ocean breeze was cooling her off. Perhaps a bit too much. Had she left the window open before going to bed?

A noise sounded out in the distance. "Oof!" Something had tumbled to the ground. Or was it the floor?

"What was that about?" Celestia wondered. She looked about in her dream but saw naught but the serenity of the beach. Perhaps her sister had stepped wrong? In any case, she figured Luna would be able to handle it,

"That was rougher than usual," a gravelly voice softly spoke.

Celestia frowned. There it was again. Voices in her head, and she already had one annoyance. Where was it coming from?

"Quiet!" a deeper voice hushed. "We don't want to wake anyone."

"A stallion?" Celestia thought. She blushed. She didn't think she would've had that kind of side of herself. Perhaps she ought to talk to Luna some more. Luna was more in touch with the psyche.

"You sure this is the right place, boss?" a feminine voice asked. "Looks... fancy."

This was getting ridiculous now. Three new voices? Celestia had to find out what the voices were but she struggled to wake up. Luna had given Celestia a dream too good to pass up.

"Well, more to see then!" The stallion voice whispered. "We don't usually get to see fancy places."

"Unless Stolas hires us," the gravelly voice pointed out.

"Ugh..." the stallion voice shivered. "Don't mention that name."

"Hey, check this out!" the feminine voice whispered.

"Woah, it's flowing," the stallion voice whispered.

Now Celestia didn't usually freak out, but when her mane was getting tussled with in her sleep, alarm bells tended to ring. Slowly, the dream evaporated, her eyes opened to the blue midnight hue of her room. Nothing was in front of her. She raised her head.

"Shit, it's moving!" the stallion voice hushed out.

Something clicked and clanked as Celestia turned her head and faced the noise.

She blinked. She found herself staring down three metal tubes.

And blinked. The tubes were held by three red-skinned, clothed... things. Things with horns. A tall thing, a white-haired thing, and a gray-haired thing.

"Third time's the charm." Celestia tested her object permanence. "Nope, still there."

The tall one lowered its metal tube thing. "Oh thank God," the stallion voice spoke, now recognized as the tall one. "It's just a pet."

The white-haired one looked incredulously with his yellow eyes at the tall one. "A pet. Sleeping in a bed. With regalia?" the gravelly voice questioned.

"I've seen Stolas do worse," the tall one deadpanned. And shivered.

"Works for me," the feminine voice spoke from the gray-haired one. It lowered its metal tube and moved closer to Celestia. It looked straight into Celestia's face, pinching Celestia's right cheek with red claws. "Look how cute it is!"

"As fun as it is, Millie, we still have a job to do." the tall one whispered.

"Right!" The gray-haired one, known as Millie, said. "Where do we find this statue?"

"Look around, it's got to be somewhere around here." The tall one lowered its metal tube and started searching the room. The other two followed suit.

Unfortunately, Celestia's bedroom was rather devoid of artistic sculptures. Celestia's mind, however, was soon to be devoid of sanity.

"You're certain this is the place, boss?" the white-haired one asked.

"I'm positive," the tall one of the esteemed title of Boss placated. "I think..." It frowned and placed a red claw on its chin.

"Just call Loona"—

Celestia's eyes snapped wide open.

—"She can check the intel," Millie spoke.

"Fine, fine," the Boss grumbled. He pulled out a book from his outfit.

A book that was far too large to fit inside said outfit.

Celestia had seen Pinkie Pie do worse.

As Celestia was starting to find her voice, the Boss chanted an incantation—speaking in tongues as it were. A red fiery portal opened up on her wall. As the fire died down, an image appeared within the red burning ellipse. A scene from a mix of an office and a nightmare. And in that nightmare stood a desk, lazily manned by a far too familiar hellhound, who was playing on her phone.

"Hey, Loona," the Boss asked with a smile on its face. "Remind me what the intel was for this job?"

"Ugh," Loona grunted, rolling her red eyes before multitasking on her phone. "Mr. Dionysus said you need to find the statue of the two-horned beast and smash it. Somewhere in the garden of the castle."

"Thank you, Loona!" The Boss waved.

"Whatever, Blitzo," Loona returned. However, she could not help but catch the eyes of a certain princess. Both looked perplexed. "What the fuck?" Loona whispered.

The portal closed in a fwoop. "Now," Blitzo spoke and straightened his outfit, "let's find this garden."

"And smash the statue!" Millie exclaimed and jumped.

The white-haired one opened the bedroom door but was stopped by the sight of two more ponies. "What's with these pets?!" he whispered.

"Don't know, don't care, Moxie." Blitzo moseyed himself forward. "C'mon, I don't see any guards."

As the trio snuck their way down the corridor, the two guards stationed at Celestia's bedroom door looked at each other for a moment. One of the guards looked into the bedroom to see that the princess was, while stunned out of her mind, relatively unharmed. Said guard motioned the other guard with his head towards the trio, and the pair of guards picked up the chase.

Celestia, however, was in the process of rebooting. When she finally came to, she inhaled deeply and sighed, finally collapsing into bed. "Luna can deal with this one..."

Celestia found herself at the beach once more.

Plot twist: the griffon ambassadors were rather impressed by the display of savagery and opened negotiations happily.

10496757 It is indeed a tough call

10496729
10496835 One of my favorite lines would be "Is it a cure for syphilis?"

10496814 Agreed

10497360
"Is it a cure for syphilis?"

You haven't stolen one earlier, why?

Ok I just watched this thing that shows messed up hilarious and loonas a badass

10497207
Is walking around the grounds bored and sees the 3imps and facepalms.

Yo fuckwits this reality pony’s are a dominat sentient species and your walking around armed guards with shotguns lost and you came from the direction of one of the rulers of this nation so you have 1 second to explain why your here or il show up at your dimension and put you out of business in less then a hour and get the pup plastered at the same time.

Well.

Times up .

Redsopine grabs the three demons walks though the portal and give Loona a bottle of 99% vodka.

Hey your bosses fucked and went to my dimension so I’m breaking there stuff for the day the booze is because I like you and that bottle will last you ages.

Proceeds to trash the office building as 4 other demons show up.

Damnit red they had a permit to show up there turns out some prince dick here wants discord dead.

Oh so I can’t trash the place ok but the pups keeping the booze since.

The bottles empty and Loona looks passed out.

Huh hey make sure she’s not dead and ummmmm with the hanging she’s gonna have drop her someplace to kill something violently bye.

10497207
Yes that was all just now as I read your comment lol)

I couldn't resist this. It felt a little odd at times, but I bet that was the intent. They all felt pretty in character, and I just can't resist Loona. This was fun!

That was a very interesting intro for Luna that wasn't something I've really read before. It was like water sliding off an icicle.

10497207
This should be AutoPony's second chapter.

10498573
10497207
While I never say never and don't mean to curb enthusiasm for anyone that is inspired to branch off of this with their own work, I must admit as of this writing, I have no intention of continuing beyond what I've written. It was just meant to be a fun little one-shot. But if I decide to continue on later, I will probably post it as a separate entity rather than add chapters, just because who knows when that day will come.

Right now the biggest hurdle is that there are eight episodes of Helluva Boss that are planned on being released sometime between now and the end of the year. I would want to see how things play out between characters in the show before writing them into something- mainly because we are close to what is known to be a release, and things may change from what we saw in the pilot (as well as some interactions we really didn't get to see). I actually debated whether to do this story now or wait, but I felt confident enough that Loona wouldn't deviate much from what we've seen so far because she is a beloved character.


10498494
Glad you liked it - was there anything in particular that felt "odd?" I'm just curious if perhaps I missed something.

It is supposed to be a little jarring at times because Celestia doesn't know it is a dream. I think many of us have had dreams that are incredibly disjointed, but feel "normal." Hence why on a few occasions, Celestia internally questions something but just accepts it.

10498360 Well, they could've been in hell for quite a long time. I mean, Blitzo and company didn't know what insurance was, yet they were wise to send an injured child to a hospital.

I like this.
Iz coot. (With two o's!)

10499055
Demons don’t have hospital’s or insurance cuz there demons sooo

I loved this story

Good stuff as always.

Sequel idea: The guy on the phone is The Storm King.

Seriously though, that was an interesting ride. Kinda weird that Loona was sharing a dream with Celestia. I guess that has happened and it would make sense to how Loona acted. Not complaining or anything. Just thought that twist was a little more clever than it could have been.

This was a work of pure genius! Thanks for the lulz! :trollestia:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!