• Published 22nd Apr 2020
  • 2,570 Views, 40 Comments

Breathtaking Banality - Ice Star



One day, Nurse Redheart is tasked with taking care of a patient that is far too normal – and that's the problem.

  • ...
8
 40
 2,570

Dream Come True

Sunlight streaming through the hallway window was always a source of annoyance, and she could say with certainty that it was the strong, distinct, and potent feeling of annoyance that she felt. Nurse Redheart’s eyes bore their bags well enough, and she still tasted her fourth cup of coffee in the back of her throat.

There was a calm smile on her face, one that she could really trust this time. Oh, gods, she could feel the easiness that came with it, and the calm, cold sense of pleasure that flowed throughout her. That was a welcome, powerful feeling that she couldn’t say she had before – and of course, whenever she needed it, Nurse Redheart would be glad to have it again.

Doctor Stable found her shortly after she turned the corner, cantering towards her with a hurriedness that made her quail as soon as she saw the potent sadness in his eyes.

“Redheart! You’re finally here, and not a minute too soon!” His voice always drew her attention, namely because he was the only pony who called her anything less than ‘Nurse Redheart’.

“Yes?” She drew back, mimicking the quiet worry of the nurse who was a few steps behind her and to her side. “Oh gods, what’s wrong?”

His breathing came in puffs, even when he was standing right in front of her. The armor of his white coat and stethoscope was not enough to hide how utterly fragile he looked right now.

“The mare in room 213, Wisteria Terrace of Canterlot. She died last night.”

“Oh no!” Nurse Redheart exclaimed, voice cracking with her fear, and her head tilted. “Whatever could have happened? When was this? I checked out last night and nopony said a word about her. The clipboard on her door was not signed by any other nurse past bedtime.”

“Yes, that’s true – the night watch reported no disturbances throughout the rest of the hospital overnight. And yet she passed anyway. We’re…” He faltered, looking forlornly to the polished floor, and Nurse Redheart ate up every second of it with her eyes, not letting their concern break. “We’re not quite sure how yet. Nurse Sweetheart just found her, and as you can imagine, she’s devastated.”

“Oh no, oh no!” Nurse Redheart gasped.

“Come now, why don’t we find you somewhere to sit. The guards will want to question as many ponies as possible and if they’re dispatched from Canterlot quickly enough, we might only have to wait a few hours.”

“R-Royal Guard?” Nurse Redheart said dizzyingly. “In Ponyville? After the Summer Sun Celebration?”

“Yes, it’s always the procedure to have them summoned after any unexplained deaths. Forget a train station, it would be a miracle if Ponyville ever got big enough to warrant any Royal Guard being deployed here.”

“I-I know, Doctor. I grew up here… it’s just… Royal Guard… from Canterlot... oh gods, it makes it all feel so big...”

She sniffled, and Doctor Stable stepped aside to give her some space. “Redheart? Is there anything you need? Water? Do you want me to get somepony to go to town and fetch anypony?”

“N-no, I… I just…” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’ve… I’ve never seen this h-happen with a patient before…” Redheart stammered, her whispery lie growing quieter and quieter. Was it really a lie at all, if in her final moments she could not have called Wisteria Terrace a patient? She had slept once, and then forever. That was all.

Doctor Stable bit his lip, and if it weren’t for the grimness of the situation, Nurse Redheart would have thought that he was marveling at the newness of her reaction – in a sad, tired kind of way. “Hopefully, you never will.”

Don’t be so sure of yourself, Doctor.

...

For the second night in a row, Nurse Redheart did not have that particular dream again. She was able to sleep soundly, and without disturbance.

Author's Note:

This story was based around the phenomena of "angels of mercy" (also known as an angel of death). They're a kind of serial killer, and one of the more common (and prolific) kinds. In most instances, they're female due to the occupation having a lot of appeal for abusive women and people in general who want to be in a position of power but don't want the particular brand of violence other serial killers have. I suppose the irony and access to so many useful materials is why the medical field is one of the most selected by notorious killers in the past and present.

You can read more about these things at the links below. Like most things I find morbidly fascinating, I thought it would make a good story and speculated what the life of someone (or in this case, somepony) would look like behind the scenes. Usually, they're rather bare and when people are asked why they did these things they often reach for excuses, however delusional. Trying to hide envy behind a more tragically mundane facade felt like a good route, and thus this story was born.

  • Link the first.
  • Link the second.
  • Link the third.
  • Link the fourth.
  • Link the fifth.
  • Link the fifth, except it's actually the sixth and I just can't count.
  • Link the sixth, though it's more about why many female serial killers often seek an accomplice (it's to have someone to turn on) even when both parties exhibit violent cooperation and perversion. That kind of dynamic wasn't present in this story, but I still had it linked around the stuff here as something interesting I was reading at the time.
  • Link the seventh.
Comments ( 32 )

Very nice. I enjoyed the way you placed Redheart into this role, and that really shined through with her interactions. I liked the concept, and I liked the way you presented it through Redheart; it's really form-fitting how she plays off of the other staff members.

Hey there! Thanks for the entry, I look forward to reading it.

10195030
Thank you, Odd. Horror as a lone genre is one where I sometimes doubt my writing ability. I usually prefer to weave it with something else, and that usually ends up being mystery and drama. I wanted to keep this subtle to see how well it worked with the build-up required for mystery and atmosphere and tension for horror.

10195332
Thank you for hosting the contest! It gave me a chance to write an idea I've had for a while.

10195402
Might not wanna blink or the spooky nurse pony might get you.

10195404
I did not need new reasons to avoid hospitals right now.

10195411
I don't think anyone does. :twilightblush:

Shoulda seen her going that way when she started talking about "the thrill of the control of someones life".

10195664
That and like, bitching about everypony like a huge meanie pants.

10195667
I mean she could just be a massive prick, and for some of it I thought she had some anger issues regarding her skill being wasted as a nurse, or was just feeling burnt out.

I think you hide it well, she just seemed over it, if a bit overly mean.

10195696
Thanks! I tried to convey it well.

10195696
There were moments like how she was thinking of the Rich family. Or how she was so very bitter with her that she didn't even care to read her chart that would've let her off to know about the Citrus allergy.

The fact that she was nice the entire time but she was thinking along the lines of "That snobby, rich, bitch" the entire time is big red flags.

10195720
True, I was just genuinely surprised, which is not common for me, even though this isn't a uncommon suprise.

10195754
I like writing surprises.

At first, this story had me genuinely confused. I could see that Redheart despised, no, hated this patient without a logical line of reasoning. She just takes one look at her and then decides that she hates her patient since she's snobbish and rude when in reality the patient had barely done anything at all. And then I move onto the next chapter and there it is. Boom, your patient is dead.

But then I thought this over and realized that Redheart killed one of her patients.

The signs were there: hating the patient so much, unlike her usual kind nature, missing the part in the patient's papers where it was said that she was allergic to citrus (this is a huge thing in hospitals, as they wouldn't want to kill their patients), her being infuriated and disgusted with the situation she's in while scrubbing the bedpans.

The fact that this story is confusing at first glance, and that even after you understood the plot you're dumbfounded at what the protagonist has done, makes this an excellent, yet subtle, mystery and horror story. I'm still dumbfounded at what she did; guess the notion hasn't fully sunk in yet.

Good job writing this, this is one of the better horror stories I've seen here. Have fave for it.

10198166
Thank you for reading! I haven't written a mystery in a while so it was fun to have that kind of a build-up again.

jmj

Nice. I enjoyed this story quite a bit.

10204141
Thank you very much! I don't usually write horror but I'm glad my forays into it have such positive reactions.

A review of your story has been posted in the My Little Reviews & Feedback group. I hope you find it helpful.

This shit so tight I bought a sandwich at Arby's today and thought, "This shit so tight but damn, could it be as tight?" I and thoughts about its and decided this shits is tighter.

You've had one review, yes, but how about another? Thanks for picking me as a reviewer and I hope you found what I had to say helpful!

Dunno how to feel about this. On one hand, or hoof, it's well written and is set in a rather niche character situation. Really interesting to see as a writer. On the other hand, I've taken care of patients as a hospital volunteer and saw multiple people die in just one shift. So like... kudos for bringing back memories?

10473008
I’ve actually gotten feedback similar to this before from another user who worked in a hospital. It’s actually starting to get concerning. I know trying to achieve realism is a fine writing goal, but I had no clue this story would be hitting home for anyone that way.

Sorry for that, dude.

10473243
I don't think it "hits home" differently, I just think when you've worked in healthcare, especially emergency care which can get quite intense, you just see things differently.

10473445
Both you and the other unnamed user said that the story was especially disturbing for someone who worked in healthcare, and I'm wondering if I should take that as "Hey you created and effectively scary story" or "Holy fuck Ice Star" y'know?

10473481
There's nothing wrong with how you've written it, and I wasn't trying to say that my reaction was any different from the rest of your readers. I'm able to separate my experiences from what I'm reading. But, at the same time, it's like seeing someone write about your place of work. You could have written an extremely positive and flowery story set in the Ponyville hospital, and I would have still stepped back and put it into the context of what I do and don't know.

10473552
Well, that's a relief. :twilightblush:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Damn. I love how the first chapter very gradually rolls into "oh shit, she's an angel of mercy, isn't she?" territory. :)

10554167
That build up has to be t h i c c

Having watched more than a couple Forensic Files episodes about "angels of mercy," I picked up on what was going on rather quickly. The signs were subtle, but well-sprinkled throughout the story. My correct assumptions didn't stop it from being horrifying. Not one bit. Abuses of power make my skin crawl, and Redheart definitely fits the bill of "someone who got into medicine solely to play God".

Eeesh. Damn. Earned that horror tag, bro.

10648211
How dare you not be as naive as most of my readers you checking gosh-darned consarned meanie-pants! Think of all the twists that your knowledge straightened!

No, but seriously, good to know I still have the bloodless horror touch. :raritywink:

Login or register to comment