• Member Since 6th Feb, 2015
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Ice Star

🖤 i eat children 🖤


Raven is a good, simple mare who has lead a good, simple life. With that life comes worry and dreams, but never has she known pain or suffering.

She simply has a friendship, a secret, and somepony she loves more than anything.

But that pony is a shadow.

Takes place sometime in season two, at some point after 'Luna Eclipsed'. Proofread by NorrisThePony. Buy this story! Contribute to the TVTropes page!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

Compared to the mare with a coat that nearly looked luminescent because of its fair hue, Raven felt like an insignificant bar of soap, and one that was about to be slipped on.

I really like this line in particular. The story in whole was an interesting read. (in a good way)

The story in whole was an interesting read. (in a good way)

...Is there any way for 'interesting read' to be said in a bad way? And thank you!

Well, there’s the interesting that leaves you staring off into space for a few days, and there’s the interesting in the sense of you’re interested whether or not what you’re reading is actually words, and the interesting used to mean “I’m interested to see what type of brain disease led you to write this”... etc.

The uses of interesting are interesting.

Well, this is interesting.

If this is what you consider your word vomit I am envious because good Lord this is good stuff

Thank you for finding my word vomit to be to your liking!

Additional Sidenote, but the whole time I was reading this, the music to the film Moonlight was running through my head, particularly this part:

This was an amazing portrayal of Raven, and I have to say, I was thoroughly enthralled by every line and speck of detail. I really hadn't seen this side of Inkwell before, and you wrote it masterfully. The context leading up to the story's conflict really helped to propagate the effects of the reveal.

With the final line as well, this story has founded itself as one meant to be reread. Awesome stuff as always, Ice.

Thank you~! Very happy to hear you liked this one.

Read all my words

Its certainly not a massive sadfest like EoM, but its a smoll sadfest.

Im torn on how to feel about Ravens situation.


Ravennnnnnnnnn take a break

this story was so beautifully written. i loved how you took a minor character and made her so much more. you built up on her backstory. explored her. made her feel more real. your stories are always the most enrapturing.

Happy to see this featured!


It's a clever way of communicating something that, worded with less effort, would come across as a cliche.

This is some nice sad, low-flame heat but still saturating every scene somehow. Also ace Princess Luna is my new headcanon so thanks!

Came for the Atryl art, stayed for the story.

Indeed, it is a smol bit of sad drama compared to EoM. And this is a drama, so feel very torn~
She can't hear you hue hue
Thank you for enjoying my story that much and for the compliments!
Ace Luna is a fine headcanon to adopt. I have other stories featuring her and her ace-ness if that interests you too.
Yeah, job/orientation incompatibility (in this case) are always pretty clear factors why Celestia, who puts others above herself, isn't out pursuing anything at the time, and not with just anybody. Sun girl probably gets all sorts of less-than-appreciated fan mail and suitors.
I like to think my taste in cover art and art for inspiration attracts folks to my stories.

Though this fic is a little bit telly, I like it an awful lot. You really managed to put me in Raven’s headspace and help me understand her perspective. I also like that, at the end of everything, Raven’s issues go unresolved, and she doesn’t really change herself despite discovering just how much of a psychological mess she really is.

I think this would have been a stronger fic with either more expanded dialogue and scenes that were more fleshed out, or alternatively going all in and completely eschewing dialogue and traditional scene structure for something that reads more like a court document (something a secretary may deal with – dohoho how clever eh?). Still, I’m really glad I got to read this and I will certainly check out more of your work in the near future.

Oh, hey wow, and thank you! You stumbled across one of my word vomit pieces, but thanks for reading. There were a few ways I chose to tell Raven's story as weirdly as it was. I liked the idea of a loop, and how the flashback heavy story made her feel more passive, even with how she came across in story structure. Like she's just ambling from place to place in life. Minimal dialogue and the recurring phrases/motif of 'so maybe' were attempts at trying to convey something meek and hesitant about her by ensuring she spoke very little, too, in an attempt to give Raven herself a bit of an atmosphere.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thanks for the feedback! I hope you like my other stuff too. There's certainly a lot to slog through...

Very interesting writing. Unconventional, very telly, but still compelling. I'd point to this as an example of stories that are good even with almost no show.

So maybe I liked it enough to drop a follow.

So maybe this comment makes me very happy! I like to think that the unconventional approach I take to a lot of pieces is what makes them stand out. ❤️

Had some of her prayers been ansewed?


Anyways great story. Live the characterisation and indepth look at a lesser known character that gives us a glimpse of her hopes, dreams and history

Thank you for the correction! I'm glad you enjoyed this, and seeing your comments on my stories recently has been nice, too! :twilightsmile:


That was an excellent character study and an interesting take on Raven. I've seen a number of versions of her over the years, but I think this is a new one.

Also, I was really expecting her to wind up with Luna at the end considering the tags.

Thank you! I'm always trying to keep the horsewords fresh. Raven is always shown as another faithful figure following Celestia, though nothing has really been explored about just how far that loyalty and devotion could go. I wanted to show that, especially because it helped me get a feel for writing her in a longer story she shows up in.

What made you think her and Luna would get together? I'm curious how you came to that conclusion.


You started pointing the story at Luna, then jumped back to follow Raven's growth and heartbreak. That seemed to be setting up something between the two of them, and the focus on Raven's sexuality/interest/heartbreak combined with the romance tag (which usually indicates there will be an actual romantic relationship) strongly implied they would get together.

I don’t usually set up romance stories by having the characters mentioned immediately being the pair set up in a story, but I can sort of see why you thought that.


Fair, although the structure of this story is very unusual and leads to different connections and assumptions than a more traditional narrative structure.

What can I say? I have a habit of writing unusual things.

I have to echo some other comments and point out that this piece was rather unconventional. The sparse dialogue (until the pivotal scene with Luna) and the more heavy reliance on tell rather than show were choices I wasn't expecting from you. However, I think they worked for the vibe/character you were going for.

I really felt for Raven in this. Her insecurities and obsessive tendencies were evident even in foalhood, what with the focus on chess and organization etc. No wonder she fell hard and fast for Celestia... and no wonder she was content to remain in her shadow and love something she could never have rather than take a chance on real happiness and connection. :/ Gotta stay in control of everything, right, Raven?

Luna had a surprising boldness to her that I liked. The consistency of ace Luna in Iceverse has a lot of applications, but her giving love/romance advice wasn't one I was expecting to see (even with Cadance's input having been procured as well beforehand). I really enjoyed it, though; Raven almost rebuffing her advice completely due to Luna's sexuality was a bit painful to read, but added to the depth of her denial. A bold choice, Cotton, but I think it paid off.

As much as this one hurts my heart, I'm gonna fave it. Kudos for another great character study!


As much as this one hurts my heart, I'm gonna fave it.

The ‘o’ in favorite stands for ‘oof’ dontcha know?

Did Celestia ever notice Raven's interest in her?

No. In other stories of mine where she appears, she doesn't pick up on it or understand the depth of Raven's devotion to her. She continuously mistakes it for friendship/worship/etc.

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