• Member Since 19th Apr, 2019
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

ScorchingFlamesInc


It's October. Spooky month. Time for another Sephtis pfp. (PFP drawing from soniana_draws)

Sequels1

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This story is a sequel to The Dusk of Troubled Views


-COVER ART UNDER CURRENT RECONSTRUCTION-

Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow are reformed, and now living normal lives in Equestria. At the same time, Leo, a human-turned alicorn, must adjust to living in Equestria instead of his original world. Watch as these four experience their new daily lives, while the evil ram Grogar plots world conquest along with his evil allies.


The third story in The Reformverse.

Click here to go back to where it all began.

Non-listed tags include: Romance (brief, due to some Chrysalis X Tirek shipping) and Dark (which will be rare but occasional).

Chapters (19)
Comments ( 259 )

Wait if im not high from my choclate milk ı think ı saw some chrysirek ak ı right?

"I think I have a feeling," I said looking at Tirek and Chrysalis while Chrysalis' peach face turned red.

Since the last book ı couldnt tell
IS TIREK RED OR CHRYSALIS IS RED SHE IS ALWAYS BLUSHING

Chrysalis glared. But shes trying to be supportive here isnt she? When shes having Leo practice magic?

"Heh... cute," Chrysalis admired.

Chrysalis' original thoughts
if you hurt my girl im fucking kill you bitch

10223672

Oof. Maybe I should characterize her reformed counterpart as overprotective.

I think an episode idea just rang in my head.

I like that you made the portal temporarily closed rather than permanently like so many other HIE fics do

10231138
I personally feel if there is a link between our worlds then it cant be severed

"Mmm... this is very good," I say with pancake in my mouth. "Reminds me of the pancakes my mom made back home.

"Mom" should start with an uppercase.

"If I may ask..." Tirek began. "What are you three doing here."

Paragraph should end with a question mark.

"No I don't!" Chrysalis turned even more red. "I mean... I do... but it's just a crush and nothing more!"

Comma after the first word.

"Okay Trixie, that's enough," Starlight said. Trixie's laughter dulled down, but she still chuckled.

Comma after the first word.

"Maybe if your lucky you can work with your crush..." Cozy quietly teased.

Comma after "lucky".

Maybe that school-counselor is right... she thought. It's silly to think that a changeling has feelings for a creature bigger and stronger.

There is no dash between "school" and "counselor."

"The market Starlight told us about should be a few blocks away, " Tirek looked through a large newspaper clipping. "If they let us, we can open a stand ourselves. Whatever we sell, we'll figure out."

There should be a period after "away", not a comma.

You can pretend to be a princess and fool almost everypony. You can even nearly bring an end to Equestria multiple times... and yet you can't share your feeling to a centaur..."

"Feeling" should be in plural form.

"Anyway..." said the stallion. "What can I do for you two."

Paragraph should end with a question mark.

"Yes I am," the stallion nodded. "Apply for a spot, eh? What do you have in mind."

Comma after the first word.

"We didn't get the application," Tirek said. "I need to show the stallion in charge what we're going to sell before he cinsiders giving us the forms."

Typo with the word "consider".

Interesting chapter. Although, Tirek's plan is probably a terrible one. He wants to sell phones, of all things. That kind of device will be a big deal, positive or negative. I mean, either it will revolutionize Equestrian society or it will be disaster 'cause you can't use phones without fingers.

Looking forward to where this will go.

Hello today at the program we have chrysalis and she is gonna show us what we shouldnt do in front of our crush
Now lets watch

Well you're up to two thirds at least. I just noticed that your character shrieked, to me that seems more of a feminine verb. Yelled in surprise might be more masculine, but hey your choice. Also, that chariot landing would have to be very loud for them to here it from outside, and you refer to your character as well as other Male ponies here as colts. Shouldn't it be stallions unless they are Cozy's age?

I liked how this trilogy started but I don’t prefer how it’s going normally I would like to see all 4 of the villains reformed (Sombra) but this has been entertaining thanks

10262680

I could maybe attempt to reform Sombra in this universe somehow... but not this story. It’s an idea, however, that I plan to keep in mind.

Comment posted by Unknown666 deleted Aug 15th, 2020

Well someone else did a good job with the grammar things. What really caught my attention is Trixie asking how its possible for a changeling and Centuar to date. We saw in the Last Problem that there was a dragon in a relationship with a pony as he was giving her a flower too. Also, you didn't pluralize changelings when you address Chrysalis as Queen of Changeling.

Grogar using rats? That's low for the father if monsters.

10268003
They are only spies that are to capture the good guys if necessary. He didn’t sabotage the spell, but he took a chance when it was there.

Because of Sombra’s help, he’s got something bigger planned for the finale.

10273753
Your welcome. Uh, might want to look at the Rules Forum, please.

Comment posted by ScorchingFlamesInc deleted Jun 7th, 2020

10273808
I was asking which rules, but then I found it

This story's good. I mean, it's a story with a sound premise, good grammar and awesome character development. My point is, it's not bad. Far from that.

Then why do the ratings say otherwise? You have an upvote:downvote ratio of 17:10. What's up with that? The story isn't being well-received, is it? I like you as an author, Cartoonopolis. Any way I can help improve your story's ratings? I would love to help.

10274705

Yeah. I’m glad to hear that. Thank you very much :twilightsmile:.

I have some theories on why people are giving it downvotes. Here are two of the most obvious:

-It could be because they think I’m going to be all stupid with Leo’s character, and make him similar to a Mary-sue. He is an alicorn that’s also a guy. So they would rather not take their chances in reading it, instead of giving it a chance. Even though it’s evident that he isn’t perfect, though I will try to make it more obvious.

-It could be my writing style. Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow are far cries from what they used to be. (But in my defense, the method they were reformed by changed them greatly). Maybe I repeat phrases, or the plots just seem “eh” to them.

Nevertheless, I won’t give up. I started this universe, and I’m going to finish it, even if there aren’t as much users in the future as there is now (though there might be).

How could you help? I have no idea. I will leave that up to you, and I will be sure to look through your suggestions and see which one I think works best. Again, I thank you for being here and offering to help. There may be cringe-worthy moments, but there will also be epic moments and fan-service moments.

10274854
No worries. Dishing out compliments is my specialty.

I just hate seeing a good story getting a rating it doesnʼt deserve. Makes me mad. Makes me wanna scream to the world, ”This is a good story. Please like it!” Hmm. I could always give it a review on the group, ʼMy Little Reviews and Feedback.ʼ Would you like that? Itʼs a large group, and giving your story a positive review might convince people to give it a chance.

Nevertheless, I won’t give up. I started this universe, and I’m going to finish it, even if there aren’t as much users in the future as there is now (though there might be).

”Now, that's the type of can-do spirit weʼre looking for in [an aspiring author]!” ~Applejack (EqG)

P.S: I promoted The Dusk of Troubled Views to ʼSeattleʼs Angels.ʼ Just wanted to let you know.

P.S.S: Is your real name Leo?

10274874

Here are my replies to all of those...

-I think review would be nice. I would like to see it when you’re done. I’m also glad to hear your compliments. You really are good at them.

-Thanks for promoting it. That was something I didn’t expect to hear.

-Yeah, that’s my name. This story and the last one were self-inserts.

Good, only thing I found was nothing more but. So that has to be either nothing more than or nothing but.

10294328

Thank you. Since all of the last chapters were about adjustment, this is pretty much the first episode to be more laid-back. A few more adjustment chapters will be released.

10294332
I understand. How's the research going?

10294346
I’ve been unable to, but I will hopefully begin tomorrow.

Challenge accepted! I counted a total of 94 “pillows”. For the record, I counted the words “pillow,” “pillows,” and “pillow-ponies.”.

10294381
Don’t worry. I’ll get to it. I’ve been busy, or I would forget (I’m very sorry for that).

But I promise I’ll start soon.

10294377
And pillow-arms and pillow-forehooves?

Alright I counted 96-97, but you win the prize. At some point, I will email you the summary for the season finale.

10294386
Okay, I understand. And to make it easy, the group agreed. No Rescue Bot Academy.

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