None of you know me. And I know why. I'm just an average 20 year-old MLP G4 brony... who is going to a college for graphic-novelists... in the year 2025.
But take my advice: life finds a way to screw with you at every turn. I know that because I had a first-hand experience with something nobody has ever experienced before.
I fell unconsious and turned into Princess Cadance. During a college class! And I woke up in a horse trailer post-transformation!
Life can be so f'ed up!
Now I'm in danger and being held hostage by a bunch of crazy people! But you all know how that ends. Right? Probably not. But do you know what? I don't know either.
This just goes to show that you should never wish to transform into a pony. Ever!
IMPORTANT NOTE! The first 9 chapters are a bit depressing. Read at your own risk!
ANOTHER NOTE: I know some things don’t make sense such as the fact that the government wouldn’t pay for having aliens discovered. But in my defense, the story happens in 2025, and real aliens haven’t really been brought down... I think.
Violence is minor, but the tag is there anyway.
Character tags will be added as the story progresses.
Featured on 7/9/2020, and 7/26/2020. Thank you all 
!
Not a bad start let's see were this goes
Shouldn’t Baba Orielly be playing at the start?
your - something that belongs to you
you're - you are
Does wondering belong to me or am I wondering something?
No need to explain what a brony is on an MLP fanfiction site.
You accidentally started another line in the middle of this sentence.
Another common mistake here. "alot" should be 'a lot' as 'alot' isn't a word.
Will edit as I read
Conclusion:
Still a number of minor errors. Not really errors, but some bits could use better word choice to improve the fluency of your writing. I get the feel you're dead set on improving your writing skills, and are making a good effort in doing so.
Pacing is a bit fast - not quite Mach 5 as 'a lot' of stories tend to be, but still a little too quick to really grasp onto what's going on. The last bit, with the protagonist waking up and finding he's been turned into a pink horse did feel more properly paced.
i am intrigued to see what you're going to do with the horse trailer bit. Do keep these things in mind when writing your next chapter. I look forward to seeing more :)
Ok, you have me hooked. Proceed
I would strongly surest dropping the sex tag. Reading the intro about waking up in a horse trailer and seeing the sex/dark tag combo my mind immediately went to some bad places. And if I hadn’t kept reading your note would had made this a hard nope.
So far the first chapter has me interested. Fun read.
Happy endings yes
They please my mental palate
Child of love coming?
Favorited and Thumbed Up because of Transformation (My all time favorite thing ever. X3)
How Intresting
This sounds fun. Might read it soon
Call in the horse whisperer.
Nice dude keeps going man love this story.
Bada Bing Bada boom, you've just tranquilized the fucking goddess of love.
will she get her magic next chapter?
10218736
No. She will probably do magic of sorts a few chapters later.
Intresting
Is this story in any way related to Five Score, Divided by Four?
10218965
No. This is its own story. It will become apparent later on.
Colour me interested.
wounder when she will remember she can write?
"Yes, yes. And when you reach the end... Stop."
I was half expecting an 'up yours' gesture there.
Huh
Fuck those men.
10220622
its the clipping wings which makes you wonder if these are actual people who dont know what is going on or playing dumb. either way they need a magic blast to the face and i hope magic messes them up too maby they become crystel ponys
10220798
I promise they'll get their comeuppance
10220236
Have fun.
10221106
It's a very original take on the Pony on Earth concept.
Nice one dude. This is getting good.
at least his frends care enough to come looking now
Oof
Nice man this is a nice story can you make more stories.
10223362
Of course! And if you want to, feel free to check out more of my content.
Hang on a squig, this teacher knew it was his student that transformed into a pony, and his first reaction was "oh wow, I need to get a camera crew, I'm going to be famous!"
Someone needs to get this ass fired.
I have been liking it so far, I only wished that the chapters were longer
.
Love it
10225942
His first reaction was probably "He is probably going to go back to his dorm"
His second "What's happening! Why is he changing!"
His third "I have to call animal control because a student I knew just turned into a horse"
His fourth(and most others reaction) "I'm GoInG tO eXpLoIt This!"
Leo will be saved by Celestia before it's too late.
10225995
Thank you.
10225957
I'll try to make them longer. I guarantee though that the story will get better plot-wise.
10226792
nay, this is a long story.
Yeah those three are dicks. Hopefully something positive will happen soon.
Right now, if she stabs the three of them with her horn and leaves them to slowly bleed out, I wouldn't feel sorry for them in the slightest. As far as I'm concerned they are asking for something bad to happen to them. And there is a violence tag there.
now his dumbass friends need to get in their car and run it through the front of those criminal fucks house.
Kill these bastards (those holding Leo hostage) ASAP.
10216463
Yes, we’ve figured that out
(Don’t stop though)
10227764
Okie =3
(Of course I won't. I will keep on transforming no matter what for a LONG time to come. X3)
Even Jasper and Horace have a tinge of charm. These guys? Hell no.
10218079
yah,
So, his "friends" did nothing for 2 weeks? talk about crappy friends to be honest. I mean, fuck. The line "I ride for my n******, I die for my n******." is something that my friends and I took to heart back in school.
Lets hope there's a escape plan for this