“If the youth are not initiated into the tribe, they will burn down the village, just to feel its warmth.” — African proverb
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The Discovery – A Young Six Writing Contest38 stories ·110 members
This story is a sequel to Cozy Glow: FIENDship is Magic
Four Equestrian teenagers. One human mall. Predictable results.
Takes place during Season 8!
Rated Teen for a few small scenes of non-sexual nudity
An entry into The Discovery — A Young Six Writing Contest
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Special thanks to the Anons over on 4chan for helping me iron out some of the kinks with the Cash-4-Gold scene. I'm not going for realism in how much cash the four of them got, just a number that's big enough to be funny without being so big that it makes people call shenanigans.
Also a huge thanks to Trinary for helping me iron out a lot of this, specifically with regards to the fact that the original version of the fic was too big for the contest and would have been unreadably bad had I tried to keep it under 12K words. More on that below.
I originally wanted to start this story in Equestria and have the Young Six and Cozy Glow sneak into the castle and use the mirror, but as the contest had a 12,000 word count limit I decided to instead start in media res. Actually this has turned into a personal challenge for me to keep it under 12K words. I'm verbose by nature. Even then, it's a challenge I almost failed: originally this story was supposed to star all of the Young Six, and they were supposed to meet all of the Mane-7. However as I was writing the story just kept ballooning to the point where basically each of the Young Six were only going to get about 1,000 words apiece, which wasn't really enough for them to do anything. Maybe if the contest was 20,000 words instead...but it wasn't, so, I cut all but the essentials and reworked the story.
Pomme = French for Apple
Burnt Matter = Hot Topic
Elusive's Confidence = Dress Barn, or Victoria's Secret. Your choice.
Oh, and from last chapter, NRD = National Revenue Department, as opposed to the IRS.
No actual corporations or agencies were harmed during the writing of this fic.
Except for Power Force Six, all of those books are actual books, by the way, although of them I've only read The Prince. Encyclopedia Atlantica is meant to be a Britannica stand in, obviously.
This story is fun for the teenagers’ interactions, of course, but it primarily exists as me flexing my ability to write Cozy Glow. Cozy Glow's Tales of Revenge was a short little crack fic thrown together over the course of about 24 hours just in case I didn't finish this because I wanted somthing for the Discovery contest, but this is the "real" thing I wanted to work on, and a more serious attempt at plumbing Cozy's character. Or rather, creating it basically wholesale. Thanks, Haber.
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I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that you can post this in the Author's Note.
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Well I'm sure if it's successful, we might see the full Young Six visit this world later? Perhaps with half of them trying very hard to pretend it's the first time?
I'm not sure if my favorite line is
or
Aww, thanks for the credit but this one was really all you.
I still want to imagine the students shared that bus with Kirk and Spock as they were out looking for whales and knocking out punks blasting their boomboxes. Favorite parts would have to be Gallus and Smolder's back and forth throughout. They take shots at each other, but I like that Gallus recognized when he crossed a line on his own and worked to fix it, unprompted.
Full points to EQG Dash for being right on the money. Also, Starswirl is a colossal dick. Just putting that out there.
Also, that ending. I want to see Cozy Glow vs. R.J. MacReady, GO!
This was a fun ride and I think it worked better with the smaller, tighter focus. And you still got it finished in time! Congrats!
I wonder if any off the humans who overheard Smoulder subscribe to Spike's channel?
Oh, and isn't Gallus half-mammal? I realise he never had a mother to nurse him, but no way he wasn't checking out females at his age.
Sunset's life, eh? Although they do have a point - at least they weren't here to take over the world (as far as she knows).
Sending Cozy to the human world is a solution I've rarely seen exercised, by the way, perhaps because they've Pinkie promised not to dump any more villains on them. Just saying...
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So here’s my down-and-dirty logic: the defining feature of mammals are the mammaries. The reason why mammals have lips is to make sucking on nipples while babies possible. No vacuum seal, no sucking. Griffons are part-lion, but they have beaks, not lips. As a result, I don’t think they have teats. Instead I figure mother (and father) griffons feed their chicks in a more avian way: regurgitation.
It’s part of my personal quest to give each of the Young 6 at least one thing that’s perfectly normal for them but which kinda’ weirds/grosses out the other five, since they’re such different species.
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Interesting. So do they lay eggs or give birth, and are hippogriffs the same?
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Griffon regurgitation makes total sense.
Have you figured out weird things for all of the Student Six?
Great start on this chapter.
Translation of title: Fool's Mate
I love Cozy Glow's characterization in this story. Her actions aren't exactly evil but show hints of her devious personality. The idea of her as a chess fanatic also makes a lot of sense. Also very clever with that chapter title.
I'm suspecting I could keep doing this for awhile, couldn't I? I mean, all we need now are some humpback whales and a little time travel...
This is great, though, I myself have long been toying with a fic idea exploring the Young 6 going through the mirror. Hadn't done it yet because I kept getting stuck on what I wanted Yona to be on the other side.
But otherwise I was thinking something freakishly similar to this (even Ocellus coming through completely unaffected by the mirror), so I'm actually kinda glad to see a moment of minds thinking alike here. 
If someone walks up to you and starts to say "you humans" before quickly correcting themselves with "we", then proceeds to give you an inappropriately large amount of money for a common service, it quickly becomes obvious they're not human. Either that, or severely mentally damaged. And that they probably obtained the money through shady means.
...Why isn't someone calling an ambulance for Cozy? Let alone the police?
Man, Cozy's really carrying this team to far. The moment Smolder, Gallus and Ocellus seperate from her they get into trouble.
This was fun, the characters were well-written and accurate. It's a shame that Cozy most likely won't be keeping that laptop.
Sunset sure is being hard on herself, but at least Equestria has no more foals that match that description.
Interesting that changeling magic still works as normal when most other equestrian brands seem to be stopped or at least altered.
I do wonder what would happen to Yona and Silverstream. The former might be considered close enough to a pony to end up human (they're bovids so genetically very different to horses, but at least they have a corresponding Earth species compared to Griffins and Dragons) Silverstream might become an aquatic bird, maybe a duck, or a penguin, becoming a fish might cause some issues unless there's a large body of water near the portal.
Small detail but you roll sushi, you don't fold it. Unless you're making one of these:
realfood.tesco.com/media/images/RFO-1400x919-SushiSandwich-mini-8f79f22c-2c62-4468-ab71-7a3e107c8e21-0-1400x919.jpg
Can you still easily get laptops with CD drives? Second hand I could maybe see. Although maybe the Equestria Girls universe is a bit behind ours maybe 5-10 years.
I can't exactly see this as Cosy's preferred reading material, I could see her enjoying something like Babysitters club or Goosebumps.
I'm sort of surprised Sunset didn't pick up some troubling vibes from Cozy is a sort of 'takes one to know one' way.
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That and the fact that the battery charge will be gone in about 4 to 6 hours and while equestrian has electricity who knows what the plugs and voltage/current its running at.
The only reason this anime works is that the main protag has gods gift that it wont ever run down.
Again, great work on this.
When Ocellus tried out her human form the first time, there should have been a paragraph for anyone nearby due to a sudden naked girl on campus. At outdoors. But word limit says otherwise.
When you live in a nudist society, I don’t think a naked girl can make Cozy faze one bit.
Great work on this story. It was very funny, I can totally see Cozy doing what she did.
You mean the Yeti Pinkie ran into from Party Pooped or the Storm King's race?
Fluttershy, it doesn't matter what they think.
You still have teenagers cleaning up a still living Archmages mess.
Their actions aren't adding up.
10076213 Yes, you can still get them with CD/DVD drives. I have one only a year old.
I also got a backup CD/DVD drive, since it only cost $12. Now I shall always be able to play my DVDs! Even when the Coronal Mass Ejection hits and wipes out the entire Internet!
(Alondro watches the grid explode from his hidden hermit cave deep in the NJ Pine Barrens. "At last! There's time! All the time in the world..." Plugs in his DVD drive and places his laptop on a stump to watch his "Interspecies Reviewers" DVD... uhm... for research purposes... BUT THEN!! A crazed deer plows into his laptop! "That... that's not fair! There was time now!")
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Because money
I'm always a sucker for more multiversal shenanigans, and Cozy actually interacting with the Student Six in an at least somewhat positive way is a rare treat. Plus we get to see how more species interact with the portal (or, in Ocellus's case, don't. Makes sense. I imagine it's very hard to transform changelings against their will.) Fantastic work all around. Thank you for it!
Though now I find myself wondering if Twilight will eventually add Human Studies to the Friendship School curriculum. Professor Shimmer will guide you through experiences you've never dreamed of... and that's as much a warning as a promise.
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That's basically invading and avoiding contact with another nation at that point.
As a Princess, she really should not be doing that unless she want's to make Starswirls stupidity look like a hand in a cookie jar.
Coll chapter but all I can think of now is EG Rarity seeing Ocellus, freezing for a sec and screeching out of existence, arms waving and all XD
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Maybe. In this world its more likely to think "that might be one of those magic motherfuckers" since quite a few of those magical instances have been recorded and posted online(and probably more of them have been then we know, especially after the entire senior class spent a unknown amount of time in ponyland) and there may be even more random artifacts various historical pony figures have chucked into the "forgetaboutit" portal.
If it was not in a world already vaguely familiar with magical shit, "that's not a human" would be a response saved for only actual crazies (and young people)
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I mean, 100$ is 100$
Not a bad short story.
Yeah I was wondering when ocellus remaining a changeling would come and bite them.
That was really good, thanks for the good bedtime read :)
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It would be a very bad idea to add human studies without actually cooperating with the human nation she's been...going to....
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I mean, that's the surface (and possibly the actual) meaning of her cutiemark.
I think the only thing really missing here is Sunset getting a eerie feeling from Cozy. Should've realized she was a bit off from her own experiences. If not her then...someone giving her a look and not buying it. Would've made things a tad more interesting. Also maybe a purchase of like the anarchists cookbook or something would've been a nice add to the 'scary book collection'. Or ones on nuclear weapons. Could've taken that further. Beyond that a very entertaining read. Just wish it was longer.
Don’t read The Prince. It’s not as good as it’s hyped up to be.
Well, we are a social species...and I have heard our cities be likened to ant colonies, which are in their own way have parallels with the changeling hive...
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Really? Darn!
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Oh, and not only that...but think about how painful it'd have to be to nurse something with a beak!
Puppy Smolder is seriously one of the cutest things ever
That's totally how she'll sound, all right.
Y'know, even though Gallus is right and they were grifted...that's still pretty good, getting a couple grand out of what would be, to them, basically a mere twenty-five(ish) bucks.
Which was it? You don't actually say, and now I wanna know, because you broached the subject but didn't give me an answer, dang it!
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Oh, I could totally see Cozy as a Goosebumps reader. That seems very much her speed.
And yes, it's quite common still to get CD/DVD players on laptops still, especially higher end ones. So long as DVDs remain a thing, I suspect they will continue to do so for awhile longer still.
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So, fun fact about the CD drive thing...my roommate has been having a heck of a time with his laptop and getting one with a CD drive. He's been frustrated by everyone saying that it's still possible to get one with a drive since he's been told by a bunch of people that it isn't. Me, I've been amused.
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Hmm...hang on, I'm gonna roll a die...and the result is...wing, it's just his wing.
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Yeah, I'd love to get a pic of Smolder as a sheltie. They're my favorite dog breed, plus they're known for their loyalty. It seemed like a good fit for her.
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On the other hand it might explain why they're grumpy all the time.
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Like I said, I have read it. It's actually among my favorite non-fiction books.
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Can you even generally buy the Anarchist's Cookbook? In any event, the books were chosen to take into account Cozy's Season 8 end goal. She wanted to create a world without magic, but something's gonna need to replace it. More on that below.
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I think one of the first things you really need to take into account with Equestria Girls is that it doesn't make sense. It just plain doesn't. There's timeline issues, the world is kind of ridiculous when you try and examine it, none of the girls make any attempt to hide that they have magical powers and yet there aren't like guys in Haz-mat suits showing up or any government trying to regulate what's going on...
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I'd also love a pic of Ocellus wearing the outfit that I see her in. She's never worn clothes before! So she kind of overcompensated by instead putting on layers and layers. With no color coordination whatsoever. I imagine her most strongly resembling the Sixth Doctor.
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In absolute fairness to Star Swirl, we only know about one (group) of villains he dumped in Equestria. Clover ditched the memory stone on Earth, then Sunset banished herself there. But that being said, it's kinda' funny to imagine Dougworld as a cosmic garbage dump.
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Now there's an interesting story idea, actually...
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Storm King's race, in my mind. I'm seeing the Yogi as being like monks or something with cool chakra powers.
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Well, it is Saturday, so I figured there wasn't anyone there to see the briefly naked human Ocellus. That being said, yeah, I never write ponies or anyone from Equestria as having any kind of nudity taboo. An early story of mine, Helping...Hands?, features Lyra transformed into a human for all of it, and she spends most of it naked, but none of the characters have any reaction to that in and of itself. The innocent fanservice girl (or guy) trope is just funny to me. I blame reading Love Hina when I was a teen.
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THE ENRICHMENT CENTER REMINDS YOU THAT ALTHOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES MAY APPEAR BLEAK, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. ALL APERTURE SCIENCE DEVICES WILL REMAIN FUNCTIONAL IN APOCALYPTIC, LOW POWER ENVIRONMENTS OF AS FEW AS 1.1 VOLTS.
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Made the edit! Thanks for the correction.
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My idea is that anything with a hoof becomes a human, while anything without a hoof becomes something else. So Yona and Silverstream both become humans - at least while Silverstream is in hippogriff form. In seapony form, she'd become, I dunno, maybe an otter. I wouldn't want her to become something that would outright die on land, though. Oh, but also Silverstream's magical necklace would still work in Dougworld, and if she crosses over as a hippogriff and thus becomes a human, she can use the pearl to transform into a mermaid.
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Eh, you never know, I might have her still have it in later stories. With no Internet access there is a limit to how much she could actually do with it.
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Whale Thieves of the 23rd Century is probably my third-favorite Trek movie.
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Yeah, I tried to put a lot of little things here and there to suggest that she has a devious plan to anyone reading, what her goal was. That being said I didn't put in Sunset suspecting that anything was up with her because, well, Cozy's entire thing is being able to do things very on the down-low, and she really doesn't have any nefarious plans other than "acquire reading material". Sunset just didn't have an opportunity to notice anything was up, and I'd like to think that she doesn't make a habit out of reading minds when she has no reason (especially seeing as the sincere contrition of Gallus, Ocellus, and Smolder might throw her off).
10075634
Hmm...
Sandbar: Mammals are gross.
Yona: Mammals are gross, Honestly these two are the hardest to try and think up anything "gross" for, especially seeing as ponies are human stand-ins.
Smolder: Still working on it.
Ocellus; Autocannibalism. That is, she molts...and then eats her complete molt. Plus, y'know, the gross oozes she can spit up.
Gallus: Obviously he doesn't have any chicks to regurgitate food for, but as the most predatory species of the Young Six I actually like to imagine that he'll occasionally go hunting for small animals. Fluttershy-approved hunting, of course. The carnivory definitely unnerves Sandbar and Yona, anyway.
Silverstream: Still working on her, too.
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I figure they're egg-layers, and hippogriffs too.
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Even just serving as a sounding board was a huge help, dude. And yeah, writing Gallus and Smolder going at each other was fun.
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I drew a bit on Buffy the Vampire Slayer for my take on Sunset. She's a hero, and she's not a reluctant one, but she does kind of wish that maybe the bad guys would pick a more convenient time to do their things.
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Ok, I guess charging the thing will probably be more of an issue than the CD Drive. As a Pegasus she might have a bit of an affinity for electricity but she doesn't have much of a chance to trial and error the charge before damaging it.
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This is explained in Magical Girl Theory 101, Chapter 3: Existing as a Teen Superheroine in a Political Vacuum. Or "How come nobody notices I just blew up the park?!"
Most theories suggest that Magical Girls emit something akin to a Vogon's "Somebody Else's Problem Field".
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I bought 2 new laptops last summer - one with a drive, one without. Pity I kept the latter...
And Cozy is lucky Sunset doesn't abuse her powers.
Didn't mention this in my first comment, but I love how the one thing that immediately arouses the suspicion of (almost) any humans is a talking dog, as per the first movie.
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I find it interesting how you both assumed Twilight wouldn't cooperate with the locals in this plan. The kids had a lot of wrong ideas, but one thing they did have right is that humans don't attend the School of Friendship.
Yet.
10077535 He could just try to go into a store or online and, ya know, LOOK AT WHAT'S AVAILABLE.
But I know, doing things for oneself is an old-fashioned concept in this EVIL AND DIABOLICAL WORLD SOCIALIST NEW WORLD ORDER THAT I MUST DESTROY WITH ALL THE WEAPONS!!!