• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 minutes ago

RainbowDoubleDash


“If the youth are not initiated into the tribe, they will burn down the village, just to feel its warmth.” — African proverb

E

This story is a sequel to Queen Chrysalis Reforms (Accidentally)


Tiatarta! The hidden gem of Equestria’s resorts. Sandy beaches, colorful locals, and relative isolation make this the ideal vacation destination. So what kind of friendship problem could this tropical paradise possibly have for Smolder and Ocellus to deal with?

And what the HAY is Queen Chrysalis doing here?! And what did she do to her mane?

Reading Queen Chrysalis Reforms (Accidentally) is recommended for context.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 241 )

Oh, since this is based on a game of Tails of Equestria I was planning on running, I figured I might as well give Smolder and Ocellus some ToE stats. I figure Level 3 is about right for the Student Six; they've been on an adventure or two, but nothing compared to the Mane-6.

Smolder the Dragon
Level 3
Element Loyalty
Body d8; Mind d6; Charm d6
Stamina 14
Talents Fly d8, Fire Breath d8, Creative Flair (Dresses) d6, Thick Hide d6
Quirks Dragon Greed, Ooooh...Shiny!

Ocellus the Changeling
Level 3
Element Generosity
Body d4; Mind d8; Charm d6
Stamina 12
Talents Fly d6, Telekinesis d6, Stout Heart d4, Morph d8, Booksmart d8
Quirks Changeling, Super Shy

Note these stats are just for fun, they're not going to be deliberately referenced or utilized for the actual story.

*Looks at the description. Stops. Looks at it again.*

....eeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE---!!!!!

You have NO idea how much you just made my day! I am practically giddy! You are too amazing!

I really love the cleverness in how you really go into the impulses and thought-patterns of changelings and dragons, it's really unique. I freely admit that if I ever write for these two, I'm likely going to draw heavily from stuff like that as an inspiration. It's SO good!

I can't wait to see more of this! Best day ever!!!

9867353
I’ve commented before that I like it when we remember that for all that ponies and changelings and yaks and so on are anthropomorphized, they’re not human. To me I think that genuine friendships - or other positive feelings - that then blossom between two different species then becomes that much more impressive and laudable. Though of course there’s a limit to how far I’m willing to write that since my audience is still human (probably) and so wants relatable characters. I’m not gonna go full “NO KILL I”.

But it’s still fun.

What a neat idea! I'm excited to see what they can learn from eachother.

9867365

Absolutely!

One of my bigger pet peeves is that some writers and fans focus so much on what makes a character relatable that it sometimes comes at the expense of recognizing how different and diverse people (and characters) can be. I'd much rather have a character with a completely different outlook or personality than mine than hearing some recycled trite about how "everybody" is afraid when it comes to X, or "no one" likes it when Y happens, because it's just not true. There are people who love public speaking, who love stress, love competition, or are genuinely unafraid in situations that would terrify 95% of us. I don't pretend to understand it, but you don't necessarily have to. I'd much rather chew on that for thought rather than take a unique, interesting character and then try to take away the uniqueness in the name of relateability and go "see, they're really not any different than you." Of course, it's a balance. Too little relateability can result in being unable to connect to the characters but too much can make them bland.

I did not expect a sequel to Queen Chrysalis Reforms (Accidentally).

I'm very happy to have been wrong.

This is gonna be good.

"Friends wrestling?" Yona asked, a huge grin on her face. "Yaks best at wrestling!"

Pinkie has countermeasures for that.

Smolder and Gallus aren't so lucky.

INCOMING!

"...even if I felt something like that...all it would be is me wanting to own them. Possess them. Make them a part of my horde. Make them mine ." She looked down at the pillow. "Ocellus deserves more than that. Every creature does."

hoard. Like a collection of precious items.

"Burying feelings is not best," Yona said with certainty. "Smolder make things worse. Should at least talk to Ocellus since she probably know already."

I have to say, in spite of being a yak and speaking in broken Ponish, Yona is smarter than you'd think.

Starlight learned that lesson the hard way. Trixie disregarded it. I wonder what Smolder will do?

Loving the way you write Chrysalis.

Typo in the description.

death with.

I think that should be 'deal with'.

Anyway, I'm on my phone, but I'll read as soon as I can.

Axz

This I will enjoy that I'm sure off. but whats this game "Tails of Equestria" That something that's up and running? If so where can i find it, would be interesting to watch i think.

9867736
Dammit, how do I miss these things?! Spelling mistakes in the body text is one thing, but mistakes in the description are just damn sloppy. Ugh, I'm gonna spend about half an hour hating myself.

Oh, by the way, a huge inspiration for the way I write dragons, changelings, and nonhumans in general, is Star Trek's various novels. So you may get a familiar kick out of this. The bit with Gallus and Smolder play-fighting in particular was inspired by a somewhat similar scene from one of the Star Trek: Titan novels and how the obligate carnivore species like Caitians and Pahkwa-thanh aboard Titan would interact with each other during mealtimes (which was downright unnerving to the obligate herbivore species, but that's what Riker gets for deliberately crewing Titan with not only a huge number of nonhumans, but nonhumanoids. Just under fifty percent of the total crew, if I recall correctly).

9867737
Tails of Equestria is the official My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic tabletop roleplaying game. Think like Dungeons & Dragons. But with ponies...and amusingly a far less forgiving combat system that actually makes combat downright dangerous when compared to D&D. But that actually makes sense when you think about it, since it means that combat is something to be avoided in favor of resolving issues through guile, cunning, negotiation, and friendship rather than brute force.

seeing smoulder talk about owning ocellus and all that kinky shit, really makes me wonder why you put that in here when this isn't a clopfic

9867854
Because dragons don't make the same associations that humans do.

I was thinking about doing a long-ass comment on the story (and potentially the prequel) and why I like it but I am a lazy f*ck so just get my like , know that I am reading it and please continue it , Thank you.

Has a side note tho , I think editing the cover image to make it look nicer would probably be a great thing to do . It's not bad right now , a little thing like the one you did is good but it feels like it could be better . You do you tho , the story is already great and the cover image is mostly secondary (he says , has most of the stories he started reading where because of the cover image)

Well this should be good, I enjoyed the last work in this little series immensely.

"Well why not?" Tirek demanded, stomping his hooves and throwing his hands wide. "What has Chrysalis done?"

"She reformed," Grogar shrugged. "I mean, sure it was accidental, but it's what I was-"

He blinked and looked out at the audience. "Ooooops, almost spilled the beans there!"

:trollestia:

9867629
I'm going to give you a 'thumbs up' because you're right, but horde could also work: horde
[hôrd]
NOUN

derogatory
a large group of people.
"he was surrounded by a horde of tormenting relatives"
synonyms:
group · gang · mob · pack · troop · troupe · company · party · bevy · crew · [more]
an army or tribe of nomadic warriors.
"Tartar hordes"
synonyms:
crowd · large group · mob · pack · gang · troop · army · swarm · mass · [more]
anthropology
a loosely knit small social group typically consisting of about five families. bolded for emphasis.

9868091
Hoard
Noun
A stock or store of money or valued objects, typically one that is secret or carefully guarded
He came back to rescue his little hoard of gold

Verb
Amass (money or valued objects) and hide or store away.
'thousands of antiques hoarded by a compulsive collector'

May I please have more of this tubular story please?

"Different creatures have different things that make creatures happy," Yona explained. "Professor Pinkie Pie like parties and cupcakes. But sister Maud Pie like rocks. Express happiness in different ways. Why not other feelings?"

Fire blazed in Smolder's belly. "Because my version of those feelings has Ocellus stuck in a pile of coins and gems where she belongs!"

this is spicy as hell dude, wonderful reveal and outburst

the set-up is fun, you’re on point with the translation of feelings into olfactory details for changelings, and your dragon greed conflict doesn’t feel recycled

good job, can’t wait for next chapter :heart:

I really like this story, and it has the makings for something wonderful. I can't wait to see what you have in store!

However, the descriptions of characters’ emotions, among other things, can be a little too telly. Some things are better left unsaid, or just aren't needed with the context of the show, other fics, etc.

Drawn-out paragraphs make it tiring to read, and threatened to snap me out of the fic several times. We know the characters, and in some cases, subtlety, subtext, and implication are vastly superior to constant, often needless exposition that takes away from the flow of your story.

9868382
It's a bad habit of mine. My first chapters of anything I write tend to be very exposition heavy. I think I picked it up as a kid from reading a ton of Animorphs. The fact that I count Dune as among my favorite books doesn't help either. Worse, though, i'm really bad at spotting what I should cut and what I shouldn't since personally I love having more information about everything.

If there's anything particularly extraneous that you noticed, if you shoot it to me in a PM I'll be glad to make the edits.

"So you see class, that day the Cutie Mark Crusaders learned that even if you think you know what's best for two ponies, you shouldn't try and tamper with their lives without their knowledge."

You're right Twilight that is good advice. Now, maybe if you started following it, we wouldn't end up with crummy episodes like the Mysterious Mare Do Well, 28 Pranks Later or 2, 4, 6 Greaat. I'mma just saying...

Okay I really love this. Especially the students. I find the potential of Dragon magic, and dragon greed, and their relation, to be a really fascinating thing to think about and you've really got it. That Gallus and Silverstream are also predators and *get* wrassling (sic) is also a really nice touch.

I especially like Smolder's outburst. She's got strong feelings, she knows that (most...) other creatures wouldn't be okay or healthy with that, she's trying her best. Now we've just got to see if she can find a framing her instincts so that it's acceptable for everyone. I'd try for some variant of "we're each other's" personally.

And Chrysalis continues to be hilarious. I can't wait for these plots to collide.

Axz

9867818
I see, thanks. I have read quite a bit of star wars novels but never star trek and you got me intrigued, perhaps I'll give some of the audiobooks a shoot when I got the time.

9868402
story's good so far, just one question: when you gonna update again

9867885
Yeah, I don’t have nearly the skill nor the tools to make a better cover image, unfortunately, and I couldn’t really find anything I liked online.

In a perfect world I’d be a brilliant artist and have drawn an 80’s-style montage poster with Ocellus and Smolder’s profiles front and center but facing away from each other, though glancing over their shoulders at each other; Reformed Chrysalis’ own head directly over them and looking down with eyes closed, a tiny shadow Twilight right next to Chrysalis, all three of them faded against a beach resort background that’s full of ponies and reformed changelings that are squaring off against each other with Mayor Delilah Dusk and Boss Bug Ecdysis head-to-head (we’ll be meeting them soon), and looming over them all faded out and barely visible would be...

Ah, but that would be spoilers.

9868734
I’ll be writing it at work, and only at work so that it doesn’t interfere with the other stuff I want to write. I happen to have this weekend off, so I won’t be starting chapter 2 until Monday. That being said I can actually average about 2-3k words per day on my iPhone, so updates should be fairly regular if I can just keep my writing discipline up.

I can imagine the table being all "she's separated from the rest, time to strike!"

9868746
Ah yes , if only we could all draw perfectly ,I for one would already have started the fic I am telling myself to do since 4 months now...

9868466
Spike's belief that the real treasure is the friends we make along the way has done weird things to his dragon biology.

9869212
Heh, it is a question isn't it. Whether Greed Magic can get a grip on intangible treasures. Personally I tend to assume that Greed Growth is an uncontrolled and unstable version of longer term dragon magics that can literally empower you through having a horde. Also that living beings can count as part of a horde, which is where the idea of dragons kidnapping princesses comes from: more valuable.

And if one got their claws on Celestia enough to count as a claim? Well.

9867818
And now that the weekend is done... thank God. Today in particular sucked.

Anyway, I really liked this. And yeah. I got the sense of play-fighting there. Really cool look at dragons and changelings and cultural norms.

Speaking of Star Trek... have you had a chance to finish Where No Pony Has Gone Before? It's all done, now. :D

EDIT:

And cool chapter title. I love the Go-Go's. :D

9869366
I could have sworn I dropped comments throughout it...but yes, I did finish it and loved it.

Oh, I am SO down for this!

I always love non-human biology

9869493
This is more non-human psychology, which is even cooler and much harder to find.

9869514
True, but I also enjoyed the bit talking about her eyes focusing on multiple things.

9869642
There's also this:

As a dragon, Smolder didn't exactly need to breathe in the same way that other creatures did.

Basically the air immediately above liquid-hot lava or magma (that's the kind that's flowing like water, not the relatively cool kind that's just oozing along) would be thin to the point of being unbreathable for any animal, yet the dragons obviously like to hang out in pools of lava like they're Jacuzzis. So, my "standard" take on dragons is that they don't actually need to breathe, not for oxygen at least. Instead breathing is done to keep them internally cool. A dragon who holds his or her breath won't suffocate, but their body will heat up to the point of being as hot as the fires that burn inside of them. It doesn't hurt them, but it isn't great for anything around them.

(The movie kind of kiboshes this with Spike apparently nearly drowning with the rest of the Mane-6 just before meeting Skystar, but eh, I like it)

9869687
It is a neat idea. I assume they need to breath because so does fire, but that's hardly the only way to do it.

I do tend to say that dragonfire can burn literally anything as long as there's enough magic to sustain it, so it is especially good at burning artifacts or anything with magic in it. Or especially magical creatures that aren't ontologically fireproof.

Chrysalis is going to have a harder and harder time trying to deny the friends thing as this goes on I’m guessing.

Discord: Chryssy, it's fine. It really only hurts the first time. After that it might still be sore, but you'll get used to it and dare I say even love it.
Chryssy: Ew! What are you talking about?
Discord: Admitting you're friends with someone. What did you think I meant?

Paternal Tirek is strangely adorable.

No doubt Mudbriar approves of Chrysalis's choice of friends.
In all seriousness, I do love the idea of a psychic impression of Clonelight lingering in the twisted heartwood. Especially the ambiguity over whether she's actually there or is just Chrysalis's delusion.

Not to mention being tasty to eat.

For some reason, ponies didn't like hearing about that feature.

the compound eyes allowed her to actually focus on multiple things at once without losing clarity on anything else she was looking at.

She knew of only one pony who could manage something similar. It was no wonder she worked at the post office.

"There's also another lesson here, and that's that magic is almost never the solution to a friendship problem. It's certainly no substitute for just talking to a creature."

"But didn't you solve a friendship problem with magic to get your wings, Professor?"
"That's why I said 'almost.' And even then, I also caused that problem with magic."

Ah. Smolder has a crush... sort of. And she hates herself for the caveat.

Brilliant bit of psychologically based teasing on Gallus's part.

"Friends wrestling?" Yona asked, a huge grin on her face. "Yaks best at wrestling!"

:twilightoops: Oh no.
For the record, I hadn't even looked at the next line when I wrote that. It's just the only possible reaction.

and one was a yak, who understood all things smash.

"Yona main Donkey Kong. Closest thing to yak in game."

Poor Smolder. The only thing worse than being a dragon in love is being an adolescent dragon in love.

Definitely looking forward to more. Also, nice touch with the unique take on dragon respiration.

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