• Member Since 24th Jun, 2012
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Talon and Thorn


Queen Celestia has a problem. Although her court consists of many mighty beings willing to aid her in the overthrow of her sister and the retaking of her throne they seem unable to work together. In order to try and get her court to bond she decides to organise a Hearth's Warming Helper so that each member needs to provide another with a gift.

A non canon story set in Rainbowdoubledash's Lunaverse AU where Celestia was banished to the sun for a thousand year by Luna.

Chapters have been written by thatguyvex, Rainbowdoubledash and myself and will be released daily leading up to Christmas.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 30 )

Why do I sense this is gonna go a lot worse than the Lunaverse Six's gift exchange? :p

And ah, Kindle. I hope you get all four legs broken. How I hate you. :)

Huh, I thought the plan was to put this up on Wednesday...


My counting was a bit off, as there are seven gift givers that means their chapters appear once per day from the 18th to the 24th so that the actual exchange can take place on Christmas day.

Let the wholesale chaos begin. (Now marked down %15 from retail for Hearth's Warming gifts)

Zecora, as a lifelong resident of New Hampshire, let me assure you that snow suuuuucks.

Anyway, I like this. good peek into her head, and good job with the rhyming, too. That's one reason I don't write her too often, and headcanoned that only zebra shamans rhymed. :p

A clock actually seems like a great gift for Corona. The Sun is often associated with timekeeping, after all, plus I can see her liking to watch the gears turn around and move.

Oh, before I forget, Celestia musing that perishables are sometimes a better gift to get immortal beings because permanent gifts tend to collect in storage sheds and take up space, is a reference to Princess Celestia Hates Tea, by Skywriter.

Just so you see this...

Good gift idea. I loved Celestia's reaction to that first bite of cake.

The head chef Gaston la Grand

No one bakes like Gaston!
No one shakes like Gaston!
No one cooks up delicious meat cakes like Gaston!

Terror Wing shrugged

Terry is hilariously good with kids so far.

~We’re walking in the air~
~Because a griffin kidnapped us~!

watch and learn!

“I will, violent spirit of Hearth’s Warming Present!”

sacred hospitality

I read a story once about this guy in the Balkans, forget which country (I want to say Albania), who’d been living with a family for like 15 years, never leaving their house. They’d invited him in for one reason or another but then learned that his grandfather had killed their grandfather. By the laws of blood feuds, the father of the family was obligated to kill him, but by laws of hospitality he could do him no harm nor turn him out as long as he didn’t break the laws of hospitality himself.

So the guy has been living as a wonderful part of the family for more than a decade, he’s an uncle to all the kids, helps around the house, etc.. And if he ever leaves, he’s a dead man.

This is current, by the way, or at least within the past 10-20 years or so.

but even dragons needed to learn their place in the order of things.

...the top?

he hadn’t even noticed the door to his chamber opening.

I world love to see Smoke and Notary play a game of stealth hug with Pinkie. No one would know what hit them.

Metal Heart said she got the inspiration from somepony in Canterlot

I do love the slow spread of metal music through the undercurrents of Lunaverse-Equestria.

whose eyes were as ever, set only on what was in front of him.

Honestly Kindle is nearly at Shounen Main Character levels for how inept he is at recognizing Smoke’s feelings for him. And to be frank I can’t help but wonder if she jumped his bones if it wouldn’t just be better for all involved parties.

Corona: “By the burning heart of the sun, be fruitful and multiply already!


Maybe although mostly because I think Smoke needs to scratch that itch and then decide to get the hell out of dodge. You can potentially look at Smoke's sanity in a number of ways, she has self esteem issues and some level of obsession (I see a bit of Harley Quin in her) but Kindle is a flat out delusional crazy pony and certainly not healthy to hang around. Maybe if she got her infatuation out of her system she'd recognise what he is and then have a fairly good change of getting away form the lair and cutting a plea bargain with Luna (given she's not done much villainousness) in exchange for details of where Corona is.

Certainly Kindle could be a long term danger even after Celestia has been cured, from his perspective she would have been brainwashed (and you can make an argument that the elements, or Discord 'fixing her' would be that exactly) and he wouldn't stop trying to cure her to change her back into Corona, or what he thinks Corona should be like. Even Celestia telling him she was wrong to his face probably wouldn't get through to him.

If he didn’t really care he wouldn’t have brought her with him

Like you said, I don't think Kindle is that intentionally cruel. A part of me would even hope that he'd have a small internal crisis if he ever actually realized what was going on with Smoke, although ultimately that crisis would be resolved by him picking whatever he thinks would be best for Corona. In his own way he's just as obsessed and in love with Corona as Smoke is with him.

Smoke definitely has a Harley side to her. When I finally finally finally get to Season 3, one of the first two stories I write is going to feature her pretty prominently. Smoke isn't evil, and she- like almost every one of Corona's followers - needs help.


Corona: “By the burning heart of the sun, be fruitful and multiply already!”

I'd think this command would result in Kindle literally 'lying back and thinking of Corona' which is likely to really creep out Corona, particularly if he asks Smoke to use her illusion powers to help.

Corona bursts into Kindle's room. "My Voice I have need of..."

In front of her Kindle is tied to the bed wearing a set of five silk socks with symbols of the sun on them, and a saddle. Smoke is next to him with her coat dyed white, an illusion of her mane on fire and her cutie mark covered in a copy of Corona's, she has a riding crop in one hoof and a script in the other.

Smoke (reading) : Who's been a naughty Voice? Should I smite you with my divine power?

Kindle: Yes My Goddess! I've been very naughty! I've had impure thoughts about your godly flanks! Smite me, smite me hard Mummy!

Smoke: Um, as I am a forgiving god once you have been punished I will, gosh, draw the evil from you into my, oooh, divine form! Then we can cuddle?

Kindle: Stick to the script!

Corona: Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope! I need divine strength brain bleach!

Celestia: “And that’s why I surrendered.”
Trixie: “...do you need a platonic hug?”
Celestia: “I could use a platonic hug.”
[The two hug]
[The remaining Element bearers state in confusion]

Okay, damned good work with this guy. Some rather good depth and skills, here.

I swear to Primus, Eru, and any other gods, I would pay money to see Kindle get his ass handed to him on a platinum platter, I loathe that son of a bitch so much.

Ah, Smoke. You're far too good for that piece of horse hockey.

It's a good story. I just loathe Kindle.

Is it good or bad I felt more for Solrath than Kindle, here? :p

Good chapter, RDD!

I can't decide if the heart he carved should be ❤shaped of the anatomically correct shape for a heart.

I wouldn't go so far as to say bad...but it might be a mistake. To be frank you're probably in far less personal danger around Kindle than you are around Solrathicharnon, and not simply due to the difference in power level.

I actually considered him making it an anatomically correct one, but my intent was a proper stylized one. :heart:

I don’t suppose you’d settle for a giant griffin instead?”

First of all, I do love me genie stories, as you know, so I like this send-up to Aladdin right away. But second, I actually really like Yangin trying to set up Terry for some reason, especially when contrasted against her internally claiming that such things don’t really interest her.

who I’m going to guess is not a relative.

Well, maybe not closely, but it’s probably a small town…

and also that they had no taste

We’ve been in your junk shop, Miss “I swear that’s a priceless antique not a cheap Shouma knockoff”.

She’d apparently made quite an impact on the few woods ponies which made the place home.

I actually wonder what she got up to to make said impact.

I’ve studied Jinn for years!

You’ve studied jinn for years and yet

  1. Don’t know that they can’t do all that stuff you were wishing form, and
  2. You still choose to dress like that?

“Pony names,” sighed Yangin, “how do they work?”

However the writer wants them to.

"Well, in-universe-"


*Ahem* Sorry, just had to get that out. Anyway, my god this was funny. :D Perfect sendup of Aladdin, there.

I think Terry giving his gift to Zecora is my favorite bit, him kind of geeking out over cooking before getting defensive about the fact that he can still fight.

It was her sister who indulged in such things, not her!

Luna: “You’re the goddess of fertility! Be fruitful and multiply already!

Great ending. Quite heartwarming overall. Although I've gotta ask point-blank. What did Smoke do to Gadget?!


:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright: as she said, she knows nothing about the disappearance of ms Hackenwrench or the sixty five pony parts found scattered around the Manhatten area each with the words 'keep your filthy whorse hooves off my stallion' carved into them apparently using a unicorn horn.

A good ending, overall. Celestia, I side with Luna. You fucked up.


What? It's me! :p

I do like that we've moved to Luna and Celestia being able to talk to one another on occasion, moved them to an almost Professor X/Magneto relationship where both really want to get along, but can't.

Now I'm home again I actually have access to a keyboard so it's a bit easier to answer things


Sacred Hospitality is a really wide spread idea found throughout Europe, Asia and Africa. Everybody need to have somewhen that that they know they're going to be safe and it shows the rest of the community that you're a good guy if you can protect anyone who stays in your home.


I don’t suppose you’d settle for a giant griffin instead?”
First of all, I do love me genie stories, as you know, so I like this send-up to Aladdin right away. But second, I actually really like Yangin trying to set up Terry for some reason, especially when contrasted against her internally claiming that such things don’t really interest her.

My take is that Yangin tried out the whole sex thing early on probably in various forms and quite liked it but as she's part of an artificial species which doesn't reproduce she's lacking a procreative urge so that from her point of view all the meat based species seem to be oddly obsessed about the whole thing.

Of course that doesn't stop her being a rampant shipper.

You’ve studied jinn for years and yet
Don’t know that they can’t do all that stuff you were wishing form, and
You still choose to dress like that?

I did try to see if I could find a term like Weeboo which would apply to middle eastern culture so that I could have Yangin accuse Jaffa of being one. Basically the guys just grabbed everything he could about Jinn without actually fact checking anything, plus he thinks he's dealing with a normal Jinn rather than Yangin.


Yeah, he's a monster and fucking Smoke up big time. At this point, I'm honestly not seeing a good path for her without killing him off because I can't see anything less shaking her considering being afraid Corona would kill her didn't do the job. She'll still be messed up bad, but provided it's something she can't really blame anyone relevant for (e.g. eaten by Solrath) and is near the L6 she'll come out all right in the end.

... huh. Actually feeling some sympathy for Terry here.

Feels weird.

(With this chapter alone, his dad makes a serious contender for Worst Parent in the Lunaverse, right up there with the Shouma Empress.
Hate to think what would happen if they got put in a room together...)

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