• Member Since 15th Dec, 2018
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ThePinkedWonder


Writing MLP fanfics since 2019. What have I gotten myself into?

T

Alternate take on Season 5 premiere:

What if the Mane Six followed Starlight into the cave? What if they caught her instead of letting her get away? What if there was also a human living back in Ponyville who had trouble making friends?



This story is an "adopted" story of my friend's Donnnnn story of "Caught and Punished", and that story was inspired by Slave Starlight written by titanictime2

The prologue and chapters 1-4 are from Donnnnn's version, but with some minor edits. Chapter 5 and the chapters afterward are completely written by me. Despite the "Sad" tag, this isn't going to be a downer story and it will have a number of light-hearted moments. There will still be some sad moments, of course.

Special thanks to Donnnnn for giving suggestions to the story and proofreading the prologue, chapters 1, 2, 8, 11, and 12, and flutterJackdash for editing chapters 3 and 5.

Chapters (18)
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Comments ( 191 )

Donnnnn picked the perfect person to continue this story. (Though I knew that even before this chapter was posted.)

Looking forward to part 2!

Twilight looked at Sam and rubbed the back of her head with a frown. “I want to, but I’m going to need the consent from all my friends for that.” Twilight looked down and continued, “To even get Starlight her second chance, I pushed my...authority as the Princess of Friendship more than I ever wanted. I don’t want to do it again to my friends.”

Considering how they acted before I’d say she should just do it.

10071590

Thanks! I won't be able to update at the same speed Donnnnn did, but I'll at least do my best to make sure it's worth the wait!


10071617

Twilight wants to, but she just doesn't feel right doing it. The Twilight late in the series might would so it, being more used to her princess title.

I know of a similar story I'd like you to revive with a few changes.

not a day after the portal was reported.

?

You didn't put a video its just a picture.

10072124

1: At the moment I don't have any plans to start on any now-dead stories, But you could still tell me what it is. If I like it, I'll at least give some thought on adopting it later, if the original author is okay with it.

2: I tried to be a bit too cute there, so I simplified that line to just say Sam was found later on the day the portal appeared. I knew I should have just done that during editing.

3: something must have went wrong when I put in the link, but the actual video is in chapter 4 now.

Glad to see the story’s up and running :twilightsmile: Thanks again for doing this 🙏

Even in the show proper you can see Pinkie's influence on Starlight.

Makes me think that after Twilight, Pinkie is probably the closest to Starlight among the Mane 6. Maud was probably a factor in that. :)

10072919

The canon Starlight do seem to have a little Pinkie in her.

But I personally always thought that out of the mane 6, next to Twilight, Starlight's the most like Fluttershy. They both suffered from insecurity problem and it was because of something that happened to them as fillies. They just showed their insecurities very differently. People, or in this case ponies, are insecure, they tend to act in one of two chief ways. They either,

1: Try to keep from facing their fears by simply avoiding what it is they are insecure or scared for. This is what Fluttershy did, a lot, before she finally gained confidence in herself.

2:Try to hide their insecurity, or take some kind of short cut to avoid facing it, This is what Starlight did: Cutie Marks can't "take" another friend from her if there are no Cutie Marks to begin with, so she learned how to take them. As a secondary effect, she truly thought she was helping ponies with "equality" making it not 100% selfish and an anti-villain.

Her inner Fluttershy I think showed the most in part 1 of the season 6 premiere when Twilight was trying to get her to reunite with Sunburst again. Glim Glam couldn't use her magic to make it easier on herself, so she just tried to get out of seeing him. Spike practically had to drag her to Sunburst. Who have we seen behave like Starlight did in the second 6 premiere when she was scared to do something...?

The season 6 Starlight was also somewhat timid, but not really shy, also like how Fluttershy used to be in the earlier seasons, and to a degree, still was in the later seasons.

Im glad to see this story make a come back. Also glad to see you are doing it justice. Cant wait for more. :twilightsmile:

10078784

Glad you're liking how I've done things so far!

Towed in bottles in a cart behind her were the Cutie Marks of six of the strongest ponies Starlight knew.

Starlight, you do realise holding a Princess against her will and stripping her of her cutie mark constitutes two very serious crimes, right? On top of being a cult leader, you directly attacked and imprisoned royalty.
If Princess Twilight wanted, she could easily get you prosecuted and thrown into Tartarus. Hell, if Twilight hadn't managed to escape, Celestia and Luna would eventually realise something's up (whether it's because a worried Spike sent them a letter, or because Luna saw the captives' dreams), find your village, and raze it to the ground; if they were feeling particularly pissed off, they could easily justify executing you due to your attacks against royalty.

You bucked up - all you needed to do is mind-control them, make them forget they ever arrived at your village, then had the princess teleport her group away. Still committing crimes - mind-rape is criminal - but there shouldn't be proof, so your chances of survival would be higher.

“Wait a minute, how do you know about how Ponyville’s security is, Rainbow Dash?”

Where do you think Twilight stuck her, whenever she crashed into the library and caused a book-valanche?

“Oh, you want to be that way? Fine! Just don’t look at me if it backfires, and she takes our Cutie Marks again!”

Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow...you're speaking to Princess Twilight Sparkle right now. This kind of attitude is completely improper when talking to royalty, and could easily be seen as insubordination and rebellion. The princess could punish you for being so blatantly rude and argumentative to her royal self.
Save this back-talk for when 'normal' Twilight Sparkle is back.

Comment posted by LucarioFan2066 deleted February 11th

Glad to see this moving along so well

That was a great chapter and redemption for Starlight:eeyup:

Why did Donnnnn cancel his story?

10082092
I really didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t find it in myself to finish it. Luckily, Pink here is dong an amazing job

Excellent chapter! Well done!

media.giphy.com/media/YRuFixSNWFVcXaxpmX/giphy.gif

WAY better than how the show handled Starlight's redemption in my opinion! :twilightsmile:

Also, yes on Sparlight! :scootangel:

Awesome chapter here, also yeah Sparlight, go for it!!!!!!:moustache:

10082104

Thanks, and glad that it looks like I'm doing the story justice so far!


10082090

Thanks!


10082091

Glad you like this chapter more then you did the final chapter of "Alicorns and Beards".



10082127

10082144

Thanks, and got two yays for Sparlight I see.

Eh, not a fan for Sparlight (the crush is fine, but making it a thing is, well, another thing for me) but if enough people want it than go for it.
Glad to see a new chapter.

And where are her collar and lease?

Her collar's off, and her "lease"...she doesn't have one. She's not renting a house, or anything.
Rainbow, I think you meant "leash" there.

“Yes, so what do you have to lose?”

Well, if Rainbow blows Starlight off again - quite likely - then one thing she'll lose is her hide, since her friends would likely tear verbal strips off of her. Her credibility too, since her friends would no longer trust her as much again.

How could you guys just forgive her so easily after what she did?!”

The Wedding, Dash. How did Twilight forgive you for betraying her trust by placing your loyalty to the fake alicorn you just met over your loyalty to your friend?
The only pony who received a brainwashing was Shining Armor, so you can't claim "mental spell" like he could, like the goddamn Death Eaters did.
You weren't any better, Dash. Glass buildings and rocks, gal, glass buildings and rocks.

What if we didn’t break out?

Dude. Starlight had captured a PRINCESS against her will. That's a crime against royalty, and there's no way Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Shining Armor wouldn't notice the complete disappearance of Princess Twilight and her friends.
You'd have been freed eventually anyway, though the town might've been razed to the ground first. There's a reason why normal ponies are practically worshipful of Celestia, and two more alicorns? Along with an annoyed and sad alicorn foal? Yeah, no, Starlight would've been captured, you freed, and Starlight forced to release ALL the cutie marks.

10082392

Glad to see you wouldn't really be mad about Sparlight if it happens. The "voting" is still open, so it may not happen.


10082495

Not that it'll make things much different, but Rainbow doesn't know about Flurry yet. At this point in the timeline, not even Cadance knows she got knocked up :rainbowlaugh:

And thanks for pointing out that error with "lease"

Not big on the Sparlight thing, but it’s your story, dude.

10083541

I'm letting it be reader's choice about if Sparlight happens. Personally, I'm neutral toward it, which is why I'm letting you guys pick. My plans with the story won't change too much rather it happens or not, though.


10083036

Another "no" for Sparlight I see.

i can't see sparlight as a thing, they came off as just good friends for me, nothing more

It was all a masterful ruse! The moment the ring comes off, everyone gets their cutie mark stolen again! Mwahaha. :pinkiecrazy:

No for Sparlight from me. I like the idea of him having a little crush on her but no for the actual ship.
If there are any ships I wanna see Sam get with Starlight.

I think a relationship between Sam and Starlight would work better. Also (if it were me) find a way to get her back in the collar, as to keep up with the picture of the book, (maybe as a relationship thing?), otherwise (at least in my eyes) having sam ending up with an engraved collar wouldn't make much sense.

But you do you, either way I'll read it.

That's a no on sparlight for me lol.

/Edited to make a little more sense./

10088521

10088717

No for Sparlight, but might want Sam and Starlight to get together? That last part is something for me to keep in mind at least.

Im really enjoying this story. There are not enough Starlight stories on here. :heart:

Please no Sparlight, That ship does not sit well with me....
In fact any ship involving spike does not sit well with me, It comes across like an adult dating a child.

Like others have said Sam and Starlight being a thing would be cute.

Eh, I'm not the biggest shipper in the fandom, and I can already tell by the popular vote that Sparlight ain't happening, but if you go through with the Samlight suggestion that's eating up the comment section, then I demand to see Starlight put her collar back on with the tag plainly visible.

Let's hope whatever "lesson" Discord wants to teach doesn't yield the same results as the one in The Ending of the End.

10089989

Glad you're enjoying it so far!


10091414

I may or may not have given thought about that last part.

Please say this isnt leading towards Spikestar or what ever that ship is called. I love this fic but spike and starlight being a thing would just kill it for me.

10093496

The comments will determine if Sparlight happens, but regardless on if it does, I'll need to address it anyway to either end the chance, or make it happen. That's what this chapter is helping do, so it's not a sign of it happening.

10093334
Alright, I couldn't find The Ending of the End after a quick search. I think I know the one you're talking about but what is it?

10093709
In the show, when Discord pretended to be Grogar and brought back Sombra, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow in an attempt to teach Twilight to be more confidant.

10093759
OH THE ACTUAL SHOW, ok I'm an idiot. Thank you for clarifying.

I really enjoyed Sam meeting Discord for the first time and Discord being his usual chaotic and unpredictable self messing with Starlight's current position with Sam. LOL :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

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