When Discord escaped from his stone prison, he wasn’t the only menace to Equestria, just the most famous one. Nopony remembers the others.
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- Member Since 11th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
Pascoite
I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
Pascoite
Joined 11th Oct, 2011 ·
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Shouldn't there be an OC tag, for the "house guest?"
9782189
I could go either way on that. It's not really developed to the level of a character, so I considered it more part of the scenery.
Nice ending, although I was half expecting this to be a surprise origin story for the Diamond Tiara or Spoiled that we’re familiar with.
Nice concept: I'd like to see some more stories about different "tag-alongs" of Discord. (And it gives me an excuse to think of Screwball as her own entity rather than a regular pony temporarily transformed or, meh, "Discord's Daughter.")
9782318
That's still a distinct possibility (my "what the hell" author's note notwithstanding).
This is a nice little slice-of-creepy. I think it cuts off earlier than would be ideal, though; as it is, the ending leans very heavily on the author’s note. But in the realm of bite-sized horror, this is pretty enjoyable. I especially love it that Diamond having to go to the bathroom, and then making a mistake during that process, is ultimately what dooms them; this feels very authentic to the experience of parenting young children.
9783073
I didn't intend you to take the author's note seriously at all. It's just a "hey, this could be canon, if you twist things around enough." With that removed as a denouement, I'm happy with where it ends, right at the point the reader's imagination can run wild with what happens next.
Bravo.
Uhhhh, what? I am confusion. (Also, wow, Spoiled remotely cares about Di?)
9783166
Spoiled does care about Diamond, but it takes extraordinary stress for her to show it. And Diamond doesn't know how to react.
What were you confused about?
9783251
I’m confused about what the heck this ‘thing’ is.
9783327
Just some sort of large evil spirit who can't enter a home unless invited. It can also possess ponies, though whether that also has to be by invitation is up to interpretation. It can harm them if they're outside or if it can get inside. It just uses a blunt-force approach, but it's unclear how intelligent it is. Maybe it gains that from ponies it possesses, or maybe it has that already.
9783370
Ah, so no correlation to Discord?
9783460
It was there because of him, but not under his direction. There are nasty things that just like to follow him around and feed off his chaos, like a remora tagging along with a shark. They aren't a threat to him, so he just ignores them, and when he's dormant, they are, too. Of course, once he's been reformed, he doesn't let them hang around anymore.
9783473
Ah.
I wasn't sure which way it would go, but as soon as we heard the window go up ..
Very enjoyable.
Brilliantly horrific. Also, kudos for justifying the Hamtons. Thank you for one heck of a tightly written read.
Gripping and horrific, with some great characterization in the prose.
Whew! That was intense!
I was actually hoping the horror would come from this having been Discorded Spoiled Rich, actually showing concern for her daughter, which would then disappear once Discord was defeated. But of course, I had forgotten the premise...
9793118
That's actually a really good idea. You should write it!
9793585
why do you do this to me
9793659
Because the only people writers torture more than themselves are other writers.
This is a spectacular short horror story. You really sense the dread in it. And props for the emphasis on the fear of the unknown. Spooky stuff.
This story feels like this ghost was some pony or sin of Spoiled's past come back to exact revenge. It taking hold of her daughter is certainly an apt and fearful way to do that.
9934939
Could be, and the way Discord liked to twist everypony's natures would play into that well.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
Greetings. your reading has been completed and can be found below. I hope you enjoy.