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Rune Soldier Dan

Comment on stories you like, it makes writers write more.


Fluttershy has the chance of a lifetime: to perform at the palace Hearth's Warming party with her bird chorus. Alas, it is a suit-and-tie event... and that applies to birds as well.

Enter Rarity, to save Hearth's Warming! But as the deadline looms and complications arise, perhaps Fluttershy isn't the one who'll be saved.

Written for Mike Cartoon Pony for Jinglemas 2021. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Haha, the first half was mounting horror and sympathetic anxiety. Fortunately not too much of it! Good work.

:moustache: No me?
:duck: Somedragon had to stay home with the hybrids
:facehoof: They ate the castle hallway corners
:moustache: I helped

Love this story, it's equal parts funny, adorable and heartwarming. Great job! :heart:

I could honestly see this as an episode of the show.

A tight-woven time between friends. Wonderful job!

Admittedly this wasn’t an unusual state for Fluttershy, but Rarity was equal parts kind and nosy. She puttered over to her pegasus friend, smiled in a disarming fashion, and began the inevitable. Yes, I am fine. Nice weather, it’s a bit cold and getting colder. What ever could be the matter (and don’t say ‘nothing,’ darling, you can’t fool Rarity)?

I absolutely adore this literary device. It was a bold move to make the author so readily visible in order to get the story past what would otherwise have been a tedious sequence.

Better late then never! And it's awesome to get my Jinglemas entry, even as a Breezies, from an established, long-standing author like yourself, Rune!

I didn't have any real reason for picking Rarity and Fluttershy, other then I like their dynamic and think they would play well off of each other. You certainly delivered on that front. Because this fic is really fast-paced and uses recap shorthand to gloss over exposition (and I agree with zx29b at 11098394, foregrounding the author was used magnificently to skip stuff like this), a lot of the relationship between the two, until the nighttime train journey at the end, was off-page or at the margins. It caught me off guard a little at first, but I quickly grew to like this too.

I continue to admire authors who can do the whole "jumping quickly between several short scenes" technique, it's not something I've yet managed in a published fic (that and writing a comedy are two of my main goals for the future – honestly, they probably overlap a good bit). That means a lot happens even in just 2.6K words. The pacing was generally sublime, though it fumbled marginally in the last few paragraphs on the train ride (the descriptions of the two curling up to sleep felt a little off compared to the rest of the story…?).

Only other note was the POV is sometimes inconsistent about how intimate and close it wants to be to the focal character in any given scene.

The fic sings otherwise, and I think I liked it more on a second read. Great details, asides, comedy and warmth at the margins, very economically told, and just a nice, pleasant, cozy read, with just enough unexpected elements and technique to rise above expectations.

Thanks a lot for the gift, Rune, I enjoyed it tremendously. Merry Jinglemas!

Oh, also:

“She’s missing the whole Christmas season because of me.

Hm, apparently the term for Hearth's Warming in Equestria is flexible. :ajsmug:

I did laugh, of course. :rainbowlaugh:

It's a good thing Rarity has ponies like Coco, Sassy, and Fluttershy herself, who recognize when she's gotten in over her horn. :raritydespair:

A lovely read, all together!

Excellent friendship story. A great character study of both Fluttershy and Rarity that manages to be both sweet and casual.

The appearances by Sassy and Coco are also in character and excellently done. I wish I had read it sooner.

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