At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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...okay, tinfoil hat time.
Primrose's nascent Enclave was responsible for everything; nuking Equestria and sabotaging SOLUS as a means to carry out their pegapet ethnostate fantasy in a magicless post-apocalypse. Keys was Primrose's inside pony in JSI; once whoever launched the balefire missiles did so, his job was to send a signal to planetside Enclave elements via a holotape loaded onto the Cloudbreaker's flight controls, doubling as a means of locking out non-Enclave personnel. Once done, planetside elements would take command of the now-armed SOLUS satellite to annihilate Vhannan cities, ensuring there'd be no threat to the Enclave.
The Rangers, and as far as I know, most of the Enclave believe they're fighting over a means to produce power for Equestria. Primrose and her inner circle know the truth; they're fighting for control of a goddamn space laser in order to exert control over the entire planet.
If I'm correct - and I most likely am not - then Primrose is a sick, twisted psycho-bitch.
Holy fucken shit, just when I thought this story couldn't get even MORE INTERESTING YOU GO AND DO THAT, HOTDAMN
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Tinfoil hat time is my favorite time of day! While I cannot confirm nor deny what happens next, I can at least agree that Primrose is a psycho bitch. <3
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It only took how many years, but I finally got that Space Ponyo into orbit! Unfortunately, things didn't work out as easily as they did for Apogee in Derpi #2021629.
Wow, twisty! Cant wait to see where this is going. mandatory.com/assets/uploads/2017/03/16712058_10208780509693828_2214947101796223612_n-e1488455819392.jpg
Well. Shit. I honestly wasn't expecting that. And that's gotta be 1 of the most messed up ways to die I've seen in something fallout related. Floating in space knowing your the one that armed the weapon to kill everyone.
Damn, you putting some work into this story
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...
I knew it.
INCREDIBLE chapter though, very excited to see how this plays out.
I'm sure it's already been asked before, but how does this fiction square itself against the show so far as Celestia/Luna/Discord moving celestial bodies goes? Like, did those parts of the show not happen in the canon of this fic or were they an elaborate ruse?
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It hasn't been directly addressed insofar as writing a scene fof it, but in this canon they never controlled the celestial bodies. They used deception to keep the illusion going.
Now I want to delve into it more!
I was so upset last chapter when Julip died, so I am super happy to see she is still (just) breathing!
Spicy plot developments this chapter too, loved the entire space section!
"breath, pushing away old angers and resumed her"
"breath, pushing away old angers, and resumed her" or "breath, pushing away old angers and resuming her"?
"to believe the universe revolves around a dusty"
"to believe the universe revolved around a dusty"?
Interesting; I wonder why they're going around the transfer orbit ~3 times, it sounds like, instead of making the ascent burn at a time that'd put them on a Hohmann right to SOLUS rendezvous? Hm. Maybe the particulars of the orbits result in this being a bit faster? Not sure. [shrugs]
"cameras they brought with onto the"
"cameras they'd brought with them onto the"?
"tiny black stone bobbed behind the window"
"tiny black stone bobbing behind the window"?
"After ten days of struggling through a wasteland"
...Wow. Has it really only been that long? An eventful ten days!
"require a pegasi’s guidance"
"require a pegasus’s guidance"?
"She cleared her throat. “I assume you’re familiar with Stable-Tec’s true modus operandi by now. Stir up the nation’s anxiety, sell the wealthy idiots of Equestria tickets to their local Shelter, cash out when the war ends… it’s a good get rich quick scheme, right?”"
Clever opening, if I'm reading this right. I was confused, at first, at how quickly Primrose seemed to switch gears in the conversation, but then thought: Twilight doesn't seem to like her much. So Primrose, presenting something like this to Twilight, about Scootaloo? Naturally, Twilight is going to be defensive. Her paragraph replying to the quote above is, indeed, that.
Except, how does one defend there? One says it isn't a scheme, of course.
...But if it isn't a scheme, what does that mean about what it is? Well, as Primrose switches gears to... it means Stable-Tec and Scootaloo thing there's a very real chance of losing the war, by balefire. And now, Twilight's dismissiveness of the possibility of losing has to contend with the fact that a significant number of intelligent ponies, at least some of whom she just now vouched for the good intentions of, are pouring huge amounts of money into preparing for that possibility, in a way that would probably leave them poorer than they started if Equestria doesn't lose.
If Primrose had started by talking about losing the war, Twilight could have started entirely on the defensive, said that of course they weren't going to, ignored the rest of what Primrose had to say, and left. Instead, she got pulled into the conversation, and consideration, and more in a mindset of "Obviously we're going to win... but it's possible for good ponies to prepare for the hypothetical where we don't and still be good ponies".
...Oh, and then Twilight still resists. Well, I think what I thought of above still makes sense as quite possibly what Primrose was trying to do.
(Also, sorry if these are less coherent or polished than they might be; I'm low on time, a least relative to the size of this chapter. Might try to cut down on commenting a bit too, sorry.)
"worth considering how luck you are for me"
"worth considering how lucky you are for me"?
"like some superstitious mares were wont to do. If heat were a matter of hot and cold, ponies would have died out as a species back when the freezer was invented."
Hm, interesting. All sorts of possible implications about the role(s) of sex in this pony culture (specifically, the one before the bombs fell), and possibly the nature of their sex drives. Not exactly a lot of data, though, and what little we have here is from a single source of dubious reliability. I'm not, at least, at the moment remembering anything else from the story that seems to particularly bear on or fit with this... and, as mentioned above, low on time.
"the officer pinned her down on her even harder"
"the officer pinned her down even harder"?
...Also, are you sure that scene fits in the Teen rating? I'm not sure, but it seems like it's at least pretty close to the border. I don't know how averse you'd be to increasing the rating, though... and, again, I'm not really sure how exactly to judge this anyway.
"aware it exists.” He paused. “It’s still early"
This appears to conflict with "A familiar mare’s voice answered." earlier.
Ah, though from later text, it looks like it second quote that's in the minority, and he's meant to be a stallion.
"the efficacy as the Shelter flaw did"
"the efficacy the Shelter flaw did"?
"might end up doing so on their own without the traditional"
"might end up doing so on its own without the traditional"?
"within the Enclave and performed it effectively"
"within the Enclave and perform it effectively"?
"Eternal Youth Experiment designed by one Aria Blaze"
...Hmm. Well, that raises a number of questions! :D
"As if instructing the A.I. to fatally poison each filly and colt to reach the age of sixteen wasn’t monstrous. A Stable run by children.
Dark, dark thoughts. She tried not to dwell on it."
...Many questions. And some implications. What did the siren(s) get out of that, I wonder? Assuming, of course, that that's not a red herring or something. :D
...Oh, though now I'm wondering about "Dark, dark thoughts." following after "A Stable run by children.", rather than the statement both directly about what happens to them when they reach sixteen and raising the question of where new children come from. Possibly it's just the order the words happened to be in, but it sounds like the strongest effect on her might have been from the idea of foals in positions of power. And I wonder if that relates to her own foalhood... and, if so, which side of the power dynamic she was on? After all, her show canon counterpart certainly acquired great power while still a foal... and it didn't go so well for her. Here, she clearly didn't successfully, at least, acquire such power back then... and I wonder if she thinks back now, from her pretty successful position given the apocalypse, and considers her judgement and actual skills back then, and how she would have used power if she had gotten it, and doesn't like the results.
...Could be something else, though, and I've just looked at the clock and the chapter position bar again. Argh. I am sometimes not good at not commenting. :D
"regret for now pursuing Applejack’s"
"regret for not pursuing Applejack’s"?
"He nodded as he peeked at the back side of the door where an old jacket hung from one of the hooks. One of the sleeves was caught in the pinch. He gave it a quick tug, pulling it loose. The rest of the jacket swung out like a pendulum and landed against the wood"
I'm not entirely sure what's going on here. I get that there was a jacket on the back of the door, it had a sleeve caught in some sort of pinch that had something to to do with a doorjamb, and when the sleeve was freed, the jacket swung "out" and hit something wooden... but there are a lot of missing details there in my comprehension, sorry.
"as they made sure the internal padding wouldn’t crush her saddlebags as the panels closed"
I do wonder how it manages to be safe for saddlebags but not wings. I'm guessing maybe it was designed for saddlebags, and while wings might mostly fit in the same spaces, a few important bits stick beyond them? Or something like that? I don't remember the exact description from when Aurora was trying the armor earlier and don't have time to look back for it now.
I do wonder what was going on near Scootaloo's room with Roach's perceptions -- if indeed he wasn't just imagining it. I thought it might be proximity to the Element, but if so, it at least doesn't seem to be a constant, passive effect, since it doesn't seem to still be going on at this point.
"“Seals look good,” Cloudbreaker chirped over comms."
Isn't Cloudbreaker the name of the ship? Am I misunderstanding, or was this supposed to be one of the crew?
"The bomb blasted soil"
"The bomb-blasted soil"?
"she realized she’d been allowed to lay on the same"
"she realized she’d been allowed to lie on the same"?
"dragging herself up onto one hoof and then the other. Standing on wobbling legs"
Were these hindhooves, with her front already elevated, or... what?
"She managed to stumble close enough to the concrete ridge to catch it when she finally fell. Her butt hit the dirt hard enough to knock what little wind she had left out of her lung. Whimpering through the hurt, she scooted back until she thumped against it."
It sounds like it's in front of her; how did she scoot back and thump against it? Did she turn at some point?
"Algae-coated mud, gravel and glassy shards of"
"Algae-coated mud, gravel, and glassy shards of"?
"leaving one of them nearly shot to death and the latter missing"
"leaving the former nearly shot to death and the latter missing"?
"while they strolled the corridors of Stable-Tec HQ"
Technically, Stable 0, I think -- but I could see her not having precision language there too high on her priority list at the moment. And I suppose it is arguable.
"the glass cage"
What?
...Oh, is it meant to have a glass enclosure around the bulb, and then a wire cage around that? Hm. I'm not sure at the moment how to succinctly describe that either, sorry, if that is what it is.
"by the uniform her first appeared to her in"
"by the uniform he first appeared to her in"?
"lay hers and Julip’s saddlebags"
"lay her and Julip’s saddlebags"?
Wow, Ironshod sure has some good points here, doesn't he?
"If I recall correctly, you were directed by Elder Coldbrook to make contact with the Enclave and… what was it again? That’s right, bring back the coordinates to SOLUS. Arguably not an easy task but a simple one. Two steps, Aurora, that was it, and you chose to betray us before taking the first."
Like, then he goes on to accuse her of siding with them and bargaining with them, but obviously neither of those would count as "making contact". And, you know, obviously she should have made contact with the Enclave, but made it very clear to them and everyone else that she was completely unwilling to work or bargain with them in any way, and they'd be so impressed they'd just hand over those top-secret coordinates right there. Yep. And that Enclave contact Aurora was building a rapport with wouldn't have been at all useful for the mission. No chance that he is, as far as he knows, ruining a long con that would have delivered the rangers everything they wanted.
It's clear that he is definitely doing this for sound, rational reasons, and not because he's a sadistic jerk who's eager to put petty revenge over his ostensible cause.
Oh, and such an official-looking facility he's using, too. I'm sure he also definitely has the full support of his superiors for this plan!
You know. The superiors who were so unhappy with what Aurora was doing that they loaned her a suit of fully functional power armor.
[facehoofs]
"You tell me, dad."
"You tell me, Dad."?
(By the way, for this scene, when it (very quickly) became clear what it was, I searched a bit, found what I was looking for, and put this on to intensify the experience. It seemed appropriate in a number of ways. :)
Of course, this may also be the scene of the flight in which the experience ends up getting intensified in a particular, different way...)
"Every mile of Equus hung beneath her hooves like some ridiculously detailed sculpture. From up here she could see every sunlit mountain, every beach and even the golden clusters of Vhannan city lights as they waited for dawn to cross an ocean that looked like a puddle."
Hm. That does sound significantly higher than ~"three hundred miles" (or at least somewhere in Low Equus Orbit) + "several dozen miles".
...Though perhaps Apogee is just a bit caught up in the experience, and is exaggerating a bit. Hm. Or Equus is smaller? But then that might change what low orbit was, too... Hm.
(Also, at this point I did get distracted a bit by setting the eye altitude on Google Earth to around what Wikipedia lists as the Hubble Telescope's apogee altitude (conveniently, 336.1 miles), with the camera at an angle, and looking around a bit to see what it looked like. Which was somewhat neat, I thought. :))
"of the universe but the opposite"
"of the universe, but the opposite"?
"traffic down there, mom"
"traffic down there, Mom"?
Oh, whoops, and this is right at the start of the chapter, but I caught it when I was checking back to look something up:
"October 31st, 1077"
"October 31st, 1067"?
(And as for what I was checking for... yeah, Delta indeed was not listening to the signal from her daughter there.
Though, of course, it does appear that a recording found its way into Stable 10.)
(Ah, and as for that last bit: very determined searching, apparently. Not too surprising, really.)
"by proxy Rainbow Dash, Opal and Sledge"
"by proxy Rainbow Dash, Opal, and Sledge"?
"Mercifully, one Apogee drew close enough"
"Mercifully, once Apogee drew close enough"?
"Hold for blackout.” A long pause. The footage jumped. “Comms blackout. You are clear to proceed"
"Hold for blackout.” A long pause. The footage jumped. “Comms blackout. You are clear to proceed"?
Also, interesting. I wonder what was going on there?
"Briefly, the talisman caught the unfiltered light of the sun"
If that was only briefly, what is it being seen by the rest of the time? Does Apogee's suit have lights, that have not, as far as I'm remembering having noticed, been mentioned as in use?
"Return to the shuttle and standby."
"Return to the shuttle and stand by."?
"Hundreds of miles below where she stood, a vast array of mirrors in the Equestrian southeast stood ready to receive its first delivery of concentrated sunlight."
...Wait. Are they in a stationary orbit? That's somehow much lower than a geostationary orbit around our Earth?
...Wait, yeah, it was specified to be so (Though it's still just called a geostationary orbit back in Chapter 30. Eh.).
Ah, and going back to the reference I thought I might have remembered, though it wasn't the first I found, from Chapter 29, we have it again stated to be in a geostationary orbit. At... a 63.2° inclination... somehow. I'm not sure why I didn't comment on that before; I seem to have missed it. Hm.
So... we've got a geostationary orbit that is at an altitude of a few hundred miles and has a nonzero inclination. Some... how...
...What?
...About the only thing coming to mind as an explanation is that this universe has some pretty significantly different physics than ours governing orbital mechanics.
Also, sorry for not noticing this before -- though I suppose I didn't have the altitude component then.
...WAIT.
In looking up in that paragraph, I apparently got stuck on the inclination, because looking up slightly further... we have an orbital period and semi-major axis. 1436 minutes and 42164 kilometers. So that'd have a period of about 23 hours 56 minutes... which with a bit of research, would match Earth's sidereal day, which is apparently what geostationary orbits should have (which made sense after a bit of thought). The same section of the Wikipedia page also lists the semi-major axis, 42164 kilometers, so that both seems to match our world and imply that orbital radius and period may have similar relationships.
But. Two problems!
First, an inclination of 63.2 degrees is definitely not geostationary by our physics. Geosynchronous, with that period, sure, and in fact from some more research it appears a pretty close match to a Tundra Orbit (inclination 63.4 degrees).
(This research all unfortunately being done in some haste.)
Now, for the bit in Chapter 29, that could be fine; mare-whose-name-I-forget (Autumn?) was hardly an astrophysicist, could quite likely have gotten the name wrong. But in 30, it appears to be Delta Vee's viewpoint, and she'd presumably know better.
...And then we get to the second problem, in this chapter.
"three hundred miles" (or at least somewhere in Low Equus Orbit) + "several dozen miles" does not equal over forty-two thousand kilometers.
I have... no idea what is going on there! Here! What?!
I'm very sorry for not catching this earlier, I don't know if there's something else I'm missing or not, but... what? What?
...Well, party of me wants to not continue until this is sorted out, but it's being shouted down by all sorts of other parts, including objections around how I'd get an answer without spoilers, and I'm tired, and I think I've spent something like five hours on this chapter so far (and no, I do not know why it's taken that long -- though obviously I've been reading kind of closely), and am very behind schedule...
Also, I'm hoping that good bits later in the chapter will help soothe the...confusion? here. Though I do still hope this'll be explained, or... something, in your reply?
...Anyway, sorry about this. I think my coherence in this bit may have gone down, too.
...Actually, I think I shall take a break and a brief nap. I think I may be more tired than I thought, the previous scheduled that did not include a nap now has already exploded and been left hours behind, and I suspect that I do not want to be struggling to keep my eyes open during the rest of this scene, or indeed chapter (I am still enjoying the story! I just hope that at least a sufficiently good patch can be found for the above. The person who's been my GM most often did once comment that I tend to need/want/demand (I forget the exact words) a high degree of coherence, and that's in RPGs with multiple players being hard to predict. And I think I may now be rambling, a bit, or starting to.). ...Well, I suppose it might help me see things from Rainbow's perspective at the moment, actually, now that I think of it. Hah! :D
...But as I don't have the "And that's when my world blew up" factor she does to keep her attention, and also I want to get enjoyment out of this without too much being lost to tiredness (whereas I suspect she will be finding the text ahead, ah, somewhat less fun), yes, I think that this will probably be better with a bit more rest.
Okay, and back!
...Though, I mean, this whole comment is going to be posted at once, anyway, so no delay on your end.
Okay, let's see... so from a quick bit of research and calculation, assuming I did those right, a Hohmann from an altitude of 300 miles to GEO should take around 5.3 hours ((0.5*(((4*(pi^2)*((((482.803+6371+42164)*1000)/2)^3))/(3.986004418*(10^14)))^0.5))/(60*60)). ...Of... course, the chapter earlier seemed to be saying that thing about them going through the full transfer orbit three times, I think, which would take over thirty hours by that math and make it no longer the same day, but... I think I'll assume for this that I misinterpreted that, or there was a typo... or something.
Anyway, they launched on-- Um.
Okay, sorry, missed this one back in Chapter 32, it looks like:
"October 30th, 1065
Launch Day, T-03:00"
"October 30th, 1067
Launch Day, T-03:00"?
Sorry, not sure what happened there.
Anyway, so back to this, they launched on October 30th, some time after 2327.
...Oh, nevermind. The above could still be useful, but the passage I was looking for was after Apogee started her EVA, not before the transfer.
So, at the very start of her EVA, she was able to see night in Vhanna; now, she's able to see night in Griffinstone, and it's some time after 0930 in Stable 10's timezone, which is presumably at most a few hours off one way or the other from the receiver station's (I'm afraid I don't remember the exact geography, and I'm really already spending far too much time on this as it is, I am so behind aaaaaaaaaaaaaa).
...This would be easier if I knew where these things actually were. ...Argh. Yeah, if I have sufficient data to work out the EVA's length and whatnot... and in a geosynch orbit, the satellite's position would be changing somewhat...
Yeah, argh, I don't think I have enough data to dive deeper into this after all. And I think I'd better be moving on anyway.
...Anyway, I'm not sure what "the dark ocean sliding out of the east horizon" means, sorry.
...Okay, no, and I need to stop trying to research ground tracks of tundra orbits and move on. I guess the answer to "Is that what's going on with that line?" will at least for now remain "Maybe?".
"We’re coming over the Celestial Sea, commander."
"We’re coming over the Celestial Sea, Commander."?
Oh, and also, yeah, that "coming over" does definitely seem to imply a significant ground track, further pointing towards a geosynchronous non-geostationary orbit.
"Equestria’s west coast was just beginning to curve beyond the horizon"
Definitely not geostationary.
"like a drop of soap in oil"
...Hm. I'm not sure I've ever actually seen that. So now I find I'm trying to imagine it partly in terms of general knowledge of liquid mixing, and clouds being pushed apart by an expanding shockwave.
Seems to have been easier to find video of that second situation, at least in the quick bit of searching I did, too.
Er, not complaining, though, to be clear; it just happened to be something I don't recall having encountered.
"northwest of Canterlot"
Hm, interesting. Is Canterlot closer to the west coast here than central, I wonder?
"windows she could see Cloudbreaker at the controls"
...She could see the ship at the ship's controls? I... assume you meant something else, there, even with the italics usage pointing towards it indeed being the ship?
Ah, Spearhead, looks like, from later in the paragraph.
"The minutes passed. Equestria drifted out of sight, replaced by the vast Celestial Sea and the moonlit continent on the other side. The lights of Vhanna lifted out of the east and she felt a jealous anger rise within her."
...Huh. Are the Celestial Sea and Vhanna south of Equestria? Or... did SOLUS already change orbit? I believe it was mentioned earlier in the log from possibly-Autumn that she didn't find it where its planned orbit would have put it.
Wait, but... moonlit? Has it... been that long? ...Oh, right, but if they changed orbit... But... okay, I guess even just-after-sunset might still be called "waiting for dawn".
...and it's October, and day in the northern hemisphere, I assume, so that'd be even more day to the south... yeah, sounds like the satellite changed orbit already, and Apogee's too...
...she saw that night had fallen on Griffinstone, in, it sounded like, the east, so, yeah, most of the planet under the satellite would have still been in day, I think, especially considering it was, unless Delta was driving for a while after that timestamp before the bombs went off, still morning in probably much of Equestria.
...Argh, I need to move on again. I'd really like to see an animation of this, though!
(A technical one, I mean. Meant to communicate information about the orbits involved and the relevant planetary features, not an animation in the animated-short sense (though that could also be cool, of course :)).)
"She watched the streetlights of their cities slide triumphantly below. Glittering grids of roads, highways and untouched infrastructure crossed the sprawling savannah as if nothing were wrong."
...No retaliatory strikes yet. Well. That Equestria apparently had no rapid second strike capability left*, that Apogee is seeing not one single balefire detonation... something happened there. Sabotage? Inside information leading to fully effective Vhannan counter-force strikes mixed with the counter-value ones? The ponies in charge of firing deciding that there was no point in killing millions of zebras too? Some combination?
*Barring, I suspect and suspect we're about to see, the one Apogee's currently standing on...
...Ahhh. That would definitely count as insider information, yes. And sabotage. I had wondered, but I'd thought it was very unlikely.
Apparently... not so much. Because, sure, he could be lying... but then why no second strike yet? Where are the weapons that should be flying at Vhanna?
Another thing that would prevent a second strike on Vhanna is the weapons that would have carried it already having been used.
(And, of course, can't logically launch an actual second strike on them if they didn't launch a first strike first.)
"Apogee screamed as the radiative heat from the beam cooked the front of her suit, staining it char grey."
You know, one thing I came across in my research is that a geosynchronous orbit would pass through (and at the given inclination, I'm guessing be mostly or entirely in) the Van Allen belts. Which gave me a thought (and connected to the hypothesis that the radiation belts were where the Bright Brotherhood was headed in NV), but, no, I thought, that isn't balefire radiation, just normal radiation; it probably can't ghoulify in this universe.
Well, no. That isn't balefire radiation.
This, on the other hoof...
"leaving behind a sea of emerald fire"
Oh, interesting property.
I do wonder what would have happened if, after the first firing, she'd run back to the talismans and tried to pull them out.
I also wonder if she wondered that.
Not that I blame her for not thinking of it in a moment so charged and so very, very far outside any of her experience or expectations, though.
"she and Sledge heard pleading over the radio"
Not Opal?
And finished! At last! Well, it was a chapter with a lot of good bits in it. And I do not know why it took me SO VERY VERY LONG to get through it aaaaaargh. Well, okay, I know part of it, trying to figure out the orbits and such, but... anyway, I really need to move on. I was originally supposed to be going to bed about an hour ago, and though I got some sleep in the nap, I still have many hours' more things to do in queue. So... eh. Well, I'll deal with it.
Thank you for writing!
(...I really do hope we can get the orbit thing cleared up, though.)
...Oh, and actually, because apparently I still couldn't leave without checking one more thing, is the office we saw Scootaloo in this chapter actually the one we'd seen her meeting Dash in before? Because I'd gotten that they were similar, but I'd thought that the latter was explicitly above the Stable rather than in it. Looking back (quickly), though, I think that that may have been implied, but not only not confirmed but, when one looks for it, more subtly had evidence against it provided.
Also, in Chapter 31, because typos are sneaky:
"she could see nor hear any evidence of panic"
"she could neither see nor hear any evidence of panic"?
Okay! And now, hopefully, moving on to the next item in queue!
[looks at chapter's comments section]
...This is going to at least double the length of that, isn't it?
edit:
[stares at how long the comment actually ended up being in mild disbelief]
[puts comment into OpenOffice for a word count]
Oh. Well. A comment over four and a half thousand words long, apparently. Yep, that'd... that'd do it. I mean, even if a full three quarters of those were quoted... And which how much I typed myself in there, I'm not sure it's even that high...
Well.
Uh.
...Enjoy this sign of reader engagement? :D
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Holy crap! Hahaha, that's a heck of a comment! I'll make the typo corrections today or tomorrow depending on whether I have a minute, but they'll get done, thank you!
The orbital confusion, honestly... yeah, that may not be my strong suit in terms of what's numerically realistic. To clear up the confusion, SOLUS is not in a geosynchronous orbit. Maybe you could help me out a bit with the errors? I'm not looking to get so detailed that it could be peer reviewed, but I've been using the ISS as a reference. I think the trouble comes in when I described Equus as "hanging like an ornament," which in retrospect makes it seem pretty dang small from Apogee's POV. I should probably swing back in and describe the planet quite a bit larger. From the POV of SOLUS, Equus is slowly turning from right to left.
I'll pick out a few of your questions real quick... let's see...
- Oh, the bit about old fashioned mares using "coolers" to deal with their heat. This is actually an in-joke not everyone will probably recognize. There are a few prominent writers on the site that I love who have written stories based of Shino's "Space Ponyo" cast (Apogee, Jet, Delta, etc). One of the tropes used by a lot of them are "coolers," basically popsi-dildos for mares. As a woman, and someone who works with horses professionally, this always gave me a bit of a groan-slash-laugh. That's... not how heat works, and there's no way in heck I'm sticking a frozen anything between my legs. I saw a chance to poke fun at it... :)
- The Teen rating, yeah... I've been on the fence. I want to keep this story available for a broad audience and marking it Mature would filter it out for a lot of folks, and I feel as if most the folks here are adult enough to handle an inferred sex scene. I did add a sex tag to the story recently to cover that base, but I'm hesitant to restrict visibility when most of the sexy bits in the story fade out.
- Scootaloo's office! Yes, the office Roach found Rainbow Dash's flight jacket and Element inside of was the same office mentioned earlier when Rainbow and Scootaloo had their meeting just prior to the bombs dropping. If you peek back at the start of that first scene, you'll notice that Rainbow hangs her jacket up in the office but never grabs it on the way out. In the rush to find Applejack, she leaves it and its precious content behind.
- Ironshod... yes, he's a bit of an asshole isn't he? And something tells me he may not be operating above board. Hm...
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Glad to be a source of relief! This was the minor spoiler I warned folks about in the separate clopfic I published under this account. ;) And yes, this chapter got a touch spicy. Many good things to come!
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Thanks! I'm glad you liked it, the response has been crazy!
10931852
Just a few years, haha! Thanks for noticing!
10931723
I'm so glad it resonated this deeply with you guys. I've had this planned out since I first asked Shino for permission to use his Space Ponyos two and a half years ago!
10931560
Me either! Here's hoping I don't screw it all up ;)
10932577
You're doin fine, keep going :)
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"...and it was all a dream."
10932572
Two years is impressive for over 500k wording. A lot of times authors take their time or have writer's block..will you know lol. Guessing this is your pass time or relief stress.
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"Holy crap! Hahaha, that's a heck of a comment!"
Just a bit, yes. :D
(Aaargh.)
"I'll make the typo corrections today or tomorrow depending on whether I have a minute, but they'll get done, thank you!"
Righto, and you're welcome. :)
re the orbits:
Ah. Hm. Well, for a start, whatever orbit you're using, the story should stop actively and directly contradicting itself on that point, I think. I'm not sure I found and mentioned all of the places where it does that in the Big Comment, but I did find and mention at least some.
Other than that, I think your descriptions of Equus as looking so small are the second biggest problem, aye.
(There's also the question of the terminator and the various places on the surface, but that I'm not sure is a probably, since I don't think I really have sufficient data about what's where and the like.)
There is also the question of why what's ostensibly a solar power satellite is in that orbit rather than a geostationary or geosynchronous one that would allow it to stay focused on its ground station most or all of the time. Two possible answers come to mind, and it might be a combination of both:
1: SOLUS, the prototype, was built in LEO because it was much cheaper and easier to get the parts to LEO. A higher orbit could have had advantages in time-in-shadow and in time-over-ground-station, but the project was precarious enough that JSA decided to get this proof-of-concept operational first and then talk about how much better future ones can be if they get more funding.
2: SOLUS was to have a single ground station to start with, but was ostensibly intended to be able to service multiple stations, switching as they passed in and out of range and possibly using some manner of internal energy storage during any gaps. This would allow the prototype to be demonstrated to and start doing good for more people in more places, and create demand for more satellites as the people around each ground station wanted the power on for longer.
As for further help, maybe? Like I said, I'm not an expert, but it sounds like I may know more than you (and no offense meant; we have different skillsets, and I don't exactly make practical, everyday use of what knowledge I have here :D). Let me know what questions you have, or... the like.
...Though I am still extremely low on time tonight, so, if you're decided whether to prioritise getting back to me on that or doing something else in your queue, that might help you decide. :D
Oh, and this may be in the questions you're getting to later, but since I'm not sure it's quite part of the other orbit confusion: what was going on, or were you trying to do, with the ship's transfer from its initial parking orbit to SOLUS?
re "coolers":
Ah, thanks.
...Though that still doesn't answer the question of why Primrose thought that, if that actually did work, the species would have died out when the freezer was invented. It... Ahh, wait a moment, hypothesis: pony mares in this universe, although they appear to... Actually, have we seen pony mares in this universe explicitly interested in having sex while explicitly outside the fertile part of the estrus cycle (actually, if that's how it works here; I'm not recalling off the top of my head, and again, in a hurry, how much detail we have gotten about that)? ...Anyway, though, basically, Primrose's line seemed to imply to me that she thought the number of mares who weren't opposed to sex and/or weren't opposed to sometimes not being opposed to sex was small enough that, if heat was that easy to prevent, the species would have died out.
If heat is just, in this universe, the only time mares are fertile, and the line was more about a perfect contraceptive... I guess that would then imply she thinks that the number of ponies who'd have foals on purpose is too small to sustain the species, and the species instead depends on there being a large enough number of ponies who can't or won't use contraception properly and have accidental pregnancies as a result?
I don't know, it's a line that raises a number of questions for me, and I don't have much in the way of answers (that I'm remembering at the moment, at least).
re the rating:
I think that that one may have been stretching "inferred" too far, is the thing.
I don't really know what'd be best here, though, sorry; I'm not the one making the rules here and don't claim to have a deep understanding of them.
And, y'know, the same chapter has a rather more graphic scene of someone dealing with a gunshot wound all the way through their torso and a collapsed lung, but since as far as I know FIMFiction uses American rating standards, that's probably fine for the Teen rating. Because despite the fact that having nontraumatic sex is, even in this country, something far closer to a universal experience than getting a grievous gunshot wound is, obviously it's the former that's much more actively dangerous to society to portray.
...Yeah, I don't know.
re the office:
Ahh, thanks. And yeah, Rainbow left her jacket in that office, but that didn't necessarily mean Scootaloo hadn't taken it with her to a different office.
(Though I don't recall whether I'd noticed at the time that she didn't grab it, aye. Like Rainbow, I believe my attention had been successfully directed to other things. :D)
Oh, though also, looking back, it appears that she hung her jacket on a coat beside the door, but it ended up, I thought, hanging on a hook on the back of the door? Then again, though, that section is part of the chapter I pointed out as not parsing well for me, so it could be that.
re Ironshod:
Yeah, just a few things.
...Though, thinking about this more now (Which I shouldn't be, but it's also kind of hard for me to complain too much about you writing an engaging and through provoking story I've been enjoying, so.), that does raise the question of whether he's just a jerk. He's not acting alone here, after all. Are the others there from personal loyalty? Fellow members of the Jerk Ranger Club having some fun? People who don't know that this operation isn't quite 100% sanctioned?
Or is there something more... substantial and directed here? And internal power struggle -- or perhaps even part of an external power struggle?
Not that I expect you to answer these questions in the comments rather than the story while they're still very much a matter of current events and potential spoilers, of course. :D
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You got it! Writing is just what I like to do when I'm not working. I don't have a bustling social life and I live alone with my cat like a proper nutjob, so this is fun for me. :) I haven't so much gotten writer's block as I've just not been particularly focused, or just struggled with making an otherwise boring scene (i.e. Aurora, Roach and Ginger travelling into the Pleasant Hills) interesting for me to write. ^_^
Elbow, I need you to level with me.
Are you telling me that the annoying child villain is responsible for bringing about the first Equus world war, hopped up on enough magic to be our third world war, because she couldn't cut it as a kid? Is that what you're telling me?
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;) I admit nothing beyond Cozy Glow having gotten the opportunity to become a fully functioning, narcissistic psychopath.
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Then I have to wonder if it's wrong to say Twilight killed the wrong villain?
10933748
I guess you'll have to keep reading to find out!
Sooooo coool!!!!
Can't wait for more!!!!
... Holy crap...
That final space scene makes me wonder if Apogee could have been ghoulified and trapped in space since the bombs dropped. It would be a hauntingly cruel twist of fate that would fit right in with the Fallout Equestria theme.
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It's in progress, among a possible other thing! ;)
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Hopefully Shino doesn't wind up regretting giving me the OK to use his Space Ponyos! XD
10941998
ooooh much curious this birbcat is now oO
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That's really awesome to hear that it resonated with you! I think a good portion of my readers came over from Imgur so no worries. Writing Sledge and RD together is something I could fill the whole story with if I let it. Watching the two of them develop together has been a highlight of writing this story and there's absolutely more to come. ^_^
Finally had a chance to catch up the last two chapters, and...
10808526
Haha, frickin' called it! Wonder if the first part of the guess (that Celestia was the Big Bad Evil Horse) will be right too... It does seem like this must have been a pretty high-up conspiracy. Seems like all talismans are controlled by the ministries, and something as big as SOLUS would probably have demanded increased care and scrutiny. So I guess the possible BBEHs are still Shitfire, Primrose, Celestia...I guess Twilight is a possibility too? Doesn't seem like she's that far off the deep-end, but who knows. And now we know where Primrose got her stim horde, but what the heck was Twiggles stockpiling them—and possibly a bunch of extra talismans—for?
Honestly kinda glad I didn't read the previous chapter until now, so I didn't have to spend a month fearing the spicy cinnamon bun had just straight-up died to a stupid boolit. At least now I know she has a fighting chance!
Also, as pointed out regarding the generators and secret stable power network, it's pretty absurd that there was all this fighting over fossil fuels, and even this nonsense with SOLUS, but the talismans are their own source of nigh-infinite free power. Was everyone so focused on the war and its possible outcomes that nobody was like, "Hey guys, about that energy crisis...?"
Also, I'm not sure if it's just not clear or if it's an error, but in Ch. 31 Millie sees that the bombing is proceeding generally from west coast to east, but here from Apogee's viewpoint it reads to me like it's starting more eastward (Manehattan being the second blast she sees) and heading west.
.
........Wait. I'm forgetting someone. I was just wondering if there were any regions on the planet untouched by bombs or SOLUS, and noted that whoever planned this out did make sure to vaporize the buggos. And who has the potential for holding the biggest grudge against the changelings? What if the BBEH is Cadance? We still have zero mention of what happened to the Crystal Empire afterall... Of course, since they went into isolation it would seemingly be a lot harder for Evil Cadance™ or anyone from the CE to have done this, so that still seems like it would require one of the others as a partner in apocalypse.
I agree with Reese that this should be rated Mature, but not for the sex. The violence in the fic is as graphic as what can be found in Fallout 4, which is rated Mature. See the cannibal chapter for just one example. Maybe more graphic actually, because I don't remember on-screen torture, and we see exactly that once Autumn gets her hands on Ginger... from Ginger's point of view, too, which makes the whole scene even more gruesome.
So yeah, I think this calls for Gore alongside Mature. But Vulgar too because of Mint Julip as a whole as well as Non-Con for Cider the serial rapist, his sister letting him have a go at this same Mint Julip and even the random what's-his-drunk-face trying to rape Ginger off-screen after capturing her in the early chapters.
These tags serve as trigger warnings in a sense. And I'd have liked to know I was going into yet another Fallout Equestria fic that involved rape, at least. Thing is eyerollingly omnipresent whenever I try to read any fic in that universe.
I'm past dropping comments that are hundreds or thousands of words long for each chapter of a fic so I'll just make a summary. Still many words but that's because this is a fic with over half a million of them. Almost Fallout: Equestria levels actually.
Spoilers ahead ranging from chapter one to the last one (Apogee), so be careful, other readers. Because some of the things I'll mention are BIG spoilers. (Ignore that no one else used spoiler tags plz)
It's also my take on it rather than objective fact. Because this kind of thing needs to be mentioned sometimes. And this comment was actually written one or two weeks after binging the fic, then finetuned just now which makes it one or two months after I read it... So I may have misremembered things too.
Fic caught my attention because the protagonist was a pegasus mare, who came from a pegasi-only vault. They're my favorite out of the four pony races. Also because it was an original take on Kkat's idea, like the Remains fangame that got me interested in that AU in the first place.
Post-war, my favorite characters are Aurora Pinfeathers and Mint Julip. Roach grew on me but I never disliked him. Ginger though, saw her as nothing more than a Raricolor from the start and it only got worse from there.
Really loved the parts where Aurora reconnects with being a pegasus and learns to fly. Well, aside from the part where she and Ginger go above the clouds because like I said, I really don't like Ginger. Hopeful for some part where she flies with Julip instead, assuming she doesn't croak at some point. Because I do consider Enclave Pone the most likely to bite it.
Most of the antagonists don't have a shred of virtue to themselves from what I noticed. I know this is the wasteland but it's kinda hard for me to take the villains seriously when all of them don't have a single redeeming feature.
The Steel Rangers suffer from this especially: we only see three important characters and Paladin Ironshod is a complete asshole, Elder Coldbrook is a bigger complete asshole (and reads as nothing more than Ironshod 2.0 with more power to throw around and a nicer bait for Aurora, to be honest), and only Knight Latch has an atom of decency in his body.
The mooks in Fillydelphia are nicer but they're just that, mooks, like the two Enclave troopers Julip summoned. And of course, Fillydelphia is also the place where Ironshod comes back... and promptly torpedoes Coldbrook's careful plan to use Aurora out of vengeful spite. Yeah. Someone probably has a court-martial waiting for him back home.
Julip and Primrose are the two important Enclave characters in contrast to the three Steel Rangers. We spend a lot more time with them, but even though Primrose is something like 120% virtueless evil (other than maybe not stabbing Spitfire in the back in the past when/after the apocalypse happened) and Julip is probably an even darker shade of grey than Latch, we do spend enough time with her to see that "gold nugget" Aurora jibed about in chapter 26.
Pre-war, I'll be mean and say that I consider Twilight and Celestia to be entirely in character. Running on "pure ego and bitchfuel" indeed. Luna is just there.
Rainbow's part three of the podium of my favorite characters. She's not the only hero of the pre-war era of course but damn, she's maybe the biggest one. Can't say she never stopped trying to find a peaceful solution to the war considering how she (understandably) folded to Spitfire's little coup, but the ponies of the wasteland are right to revere her as they do, be they Steel Rangers or Aurora's vault.
And just now, she learned that SOLUS, the project she'd funded to bring peace to the world thanks to limitless energy, was turned into the weapon that ended the world. She tried to save the world but doomed it instead. Fuck, I can't imagine what's going through her head right now.
As for the 'new factions with new banners,' I already mentioned the Steel Rangers and I don't have anything else to say about them other that I liked that they still admire Rainbow Dash after all this time, like I said. Well, Ironshod and Coldbrook probably don't, considering the whole laughably evil thing...
And the other faction... I can only picture some Brotherhood of Nod expy since I read RDFan628's comment. Basically Primrose's private army, like Kane's cult. Really, I don't picture the Enclave at all, whether the canon one from the original games or the Grand Pegasus Enclave.
One's a network of glorified vaults whose population is brainwashed to be loyal to their higher ideal. Still their president's or council's private army, but even those guys follow said ideal (save for the nutjob who doomed West Virginia in Fallout 76 from what I read). The other's a genuine country above the clouds, with an actual culture and an actual people, however lied to. They're also away from the wasteland for ages until they finally show up to kill everyone dead. From what I gathered anyway, didn't read the original fic yet.
This Enclave though, has been part of the wasteland for centuries. I'm certain those pegasi are as "born with spoiled genes" as the dustwings... except I've just realized that term probably always referred to pegasi with unicorn or earth pony blood in them, while I've apparently always expected them to be Dashites-lite.
Point is, it's strange to see them call themselves the Enclave. I'm not sure if I even remember an equivalent to energy weapons, really... and I never once pictured the two patrollers Julip summoned wearing any kind of power armor either. My fault for expecting a GPE offshoot in a fic I started reading precisely because it was an(other) original take on Fallout: Equestria, but it's still weird for me.
So all in all, love this fic and its take on the Fallout Equestria AU despite the things I dislike about it. Glad I pushed through the attempted and implied rape parts at the beginning... even if they still leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Last thing I'm wondering is, well, so has this caravan of freed and armed slaves finally reached Blinder's Bluff safely or what? That's another move from Aurora I'm sure Coldbrook will love haha.
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Would be hilarious if it turned out balefire couldn't destroy the Crystal Heart because it's more based on emotion than actual magic and the semi-sentient thing shielded its people from SOLUS' deathrays. I can totally picture the station firing on that pesky little shield every time the Empire rotates back into position, for years on and on after its first strike until the talisman finally runs out of juice for good.
Which would make the Crystal Empire the actual Enclave here, if they decide to go full Great Crusade to reconquer the wasteland. Haha.
Really, it's damn time crystal ponies are the lucky ones rather than the poor bastards who get Sombra'D, then disappear for a millennium, then get Sombra'D again.
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SPOILERS blocked but it seems courteous to warn of them anyway...
That's good to hear! Blue's reveal to be RD may have been obvious to some but caught me by surprise and was a total wow moment, I love stuff like that. And I love that there are characters I can relate to, or empathize with. After about a week and a half I've finally binged all the way up to the latest chapter. Despite her presence in the short clopfic, I can't assume that Julip wasn't killed by that gunshot... I hope not, I like her! There's a fine line between letting everyone live and spoiling the tension, and gratuitously knocking off characters to shock the reader, and I have to think Julip will survive if for no other reason than her dying like this would be a wasteful death.
So, yeah, great job with the story so far. Looking forward to more surprising and resonant character moments.
10988476
Okay, wanna know something funny? When I wrote the first outline for Renewal I had absolutely no plans to include Blue. It was literally a spur of the moment idea I had when I was writing Aurora's exit from the Stable. I had no idea at the time how much it would end up shaping the narrative, but boy I'm glad I did it and I'm super happy that it tugged on the ol' heartstrings for ya. ^_^ Also! You might be onto something with this whole Julip thing! I admit nothing but maybe next time I write a clopfic for an ongoing story, I wait a bit before tossing it into the wild. XD
10987826
YOU, mister! You would not believe the oh shits I said when I read that prediction you wrote. ;) I won't say to what degree you were right but you darn well put a spook into me! Solid guesswork, though as for who the big baddie is, I have no idea! It's probably Derpy. She's been awfully quiet for this story...
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It's rated mature now, woo! Sorry for fudging it as a Teen rating, I've been see-sawing on that for a long while now and opted for Teen to increase visibility. But you made a solid point considering there is an attempted rape very early on that folks might not having sprung on them. Two and a half years in and I'm still working out what folks prefer ^_^
I've finally finished your story! Huzzah!!! Thanks to imgur banning me for talking I can finally say the story was long feels like the story is still in the beginning. Have a feeling another 20-30 chapter it would be in the middle? Guessing that's what you really aiming for. This fallout seems more realistic compared to the others I read. Usually they have those silly stats at the end of each chapter for fun or doesn't really effect the story at all.
Anyways hope for another one soon. Ta-ta!
I knew it. As soon as i read SOLUS for the first time i immediately had vibes of the Hammer of Dawn or GDI Ion Cannon.
Hammer of Dawn
GDI Ion Cannon
“The zebras didn’t drop the bombs,” she said, eyes fixed on the darkened terminal. “Equestria did.”
I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT.
10 hours ago today, I was thinking about this. Talking to my friends in discord. This was my theory- that either Celestia or Primrose was responsible. Oh my fucking god.
You can't keep DOING THIS TO ME- KEEP IT UP
Sweet Celestia... imagine what it was like for Apogee to witness that. I did and nearly broke. Fantastic chapter.
Bahahaha!!! Eat it, hag
Man, you sure know how to make a reader hate someone. I cannot wait to see the just desserts ironshod gets dished out.
Man. Wow. This is overwhelming; I look forward to seeing the explaination as to why but this is just.. wow
I knew apogee would see the Balefire bombs but didn't think that we would see solus firing. I also had some sort of hope she'd return to earth to get into a stable .-.
So many plot twists I was not expecting this chapter!
“...vernment is not responsible for the attacks in Equestria! If you can hear this, I beg you think before seeking vengeance! Vhanna was not capable of this attack nor would I ever authorize such a thing! The lives lost today in Equestria are a tragedy that we mourn with you and we are dedicated to providing as much aid to the Equestrian people as they require! If there are any of you able to reach our shores to assist in the rescue effort, Port Sahadi and Port Berberi are being made available to all Equestrian civilian and military personnel with logistical experience. Please understand that Vhanna does not condone the atrocities committed against Equestria today and that we stand ready to render…”
This is horrifying Ellie. It completely shatters all preconceived notions. This followed by what occurs shortly after nearly brought me to tears.
Her Element, presumed lost during her final flight to the shelter of Stable 10, had been here the whole time. Waiting, he decided.
It's good to see this detail of the story come full circle, I also assumed she flew so fast that the gem dislodged itself and fell.
I also take note of your creative liberty of forumulating new chems, sometimes it's a bit jarring to be introduced to a new Pharmacutical brand unheard of before. But this is a story of the rise and fall of Equestria's industrial revolution, so it's only fitting that there would be many name-brand companies and medicines.
Mine did too after finishing the previous page.
Clover is a stallion, yes?
he
I started reading this story before it was finished but now that it is complete I'm rereading it all and like. just wow. This really is the best Fallout story I've read so far. I believe I'm finally past where I left off originally and I just want to know everything. There isn't a moment where I'm like "Go back to Rainbow Dash's POV!!!" or anything because every single POV in this story is just so interesting that I always want more and more.
Part of me hoped they told Apple Bloom about Rainbow Dash, but I guess what can she even do with that information? And it's not like they could all travel back with her. Maybe Apple Bloom will find a cure? I hope in the end they figure out a way to communicate with her so she doesn't have to be totally alone.
I also want to hear more about Aria Blaze's awful shelter idea, especially since it's apparently still running.
And Primrose is seriously the reason why the stables have those stupid experiments, huh?