At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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I have absolutely no idea how this story is going to end.
God I love Julip - she's been fantastic throughout the whole story and the reunion with Aurora made me tear up.
Well shit. Got exactly what she wanted but at what cost and whole heaping helping of fresh shit looks ready to hit the fan with that email to no one.
And 1 more little thing I caught that seems off to me.
Word missing between heard and had or somewhere around there? Seems like it should say heard of or maybe heard from. Idk just seems off to me
Both interesting and fitting for Rainbow's cathartic pouring out of her soul to lay the groundwork for the enclave to crumble from within. I'd love to see primrose destroyed by her own organization turning on her after all these years. To think though, this could have all been avoided or at least drastically delayed if it didn't take only two ministry mares to launch weapons of mass destruction. Absolutely seems like a thing that would at the very least require a princess's approval, if not majority or even unanimous consent of all ministry mares/princesses.
MY FEELS
Wow.
An Alternate Universe for an Alternate Universe, eh? I am not sure what twigged my attention to this story (I think it was a (SFW) picture of a flying Aurora wondering how to land by Selenophile), but I enjoyed this story thus far.
...And hated every minute of reading it.
This story is bloody dark and cynical.
Obviously the whole FoE AU is going to have a fair share of darkness to it. That is pretty much expected and part of the package. Like I recall reading people were bringing up Linkin Park (de gustibus non disputandum est I suppose) along with Project Horizons and others commenting that things were pretty messed up if you were making that comparison. This story however dashes past all that down to Nick Cave levels of darkness.
A major part of this AU's stories (or at least the ones I have read) revolve around rediscovering the Old, Lost Ideals and inspiring others: "the world is a mess, and let's build upon what came before and endeavour to be better". This one feels more like iconoclasm: "the world is a mess, and look what a silly, naïve fool you are to think they made any difference"
There is a line in chapter 15 that really feels like it summed it all up to me: "She missed the days when she was young and naive. When every problem could be solved by befriending the transgressor."
That being said, I think I had a similar visceral reaction as 11056547 . I both loved the story and hated reading it. Loved and hated it enough finish the story (chapter 38 at time of comment) instead of indifferently going "meh..." and forgetting the whole thing and consigning it to the dustbin. You have done a good job with this new setting and I love the characters and characterisations. Dash, Gilda, and Gallus... Beans... Chops and Dancer... Ginger's dream with her da and the agonising choice she had to relive really struck a nerve (more personal and close-to-home than I would care to admit)
I am not sure what to think about this story. I wish I could leave a thumbs down, not for "this story is sloppy in execution, amateur in style, and terrible in basic grammar" but rather as a "negative thumbs-up" (if that makes any sense).
11207314
Even though the new G5 season isn't clicking with me, I do look forward to a resurgence of fiction writing within the fandom and especially the Fallout Equestria genre! Glad to have you on as a reader!
11207496
I do.
11207664
She's been one of my favorites, too. Pure sass, a foul mouth, and an absolute adorable hatred of showing vulnerability. She's been a real gem to grow as a character and, yeah, writing that scene got me a little too.
11207973
Good catch on the typo, my brain likes to forget to tell my fingers to write words sometimes. :)
Spitfire and Primrose's attempts to gild their shitty little legacies are definitely not seeing the shelf lives either had hoped. With any luck, that email RD fired off will go unnoticed, yessir yessir... During the entirety of framing out this backstory, I was really worried I wouldn't get Shinodage's permission to include his Space Ponyos. Getting that seal of approval was huge because I felt Delta, Jet, and Apogee's importance among the fandom would make for a backstory that would resonate a little better than the usual "pick a canon character out of a hat" option. Fingers crossed if he ever does read this story he doesn't beat me over the head for making their arc so deeply dark.
11208200
Like zhe curds in zhe khream!
11208223
You actually touched on something I'd agonized over for the last couple years, namely who is required to launch the missiles? I initially planned for it to require four or more ministry mares, with some sort of validation from the princesses. Checks upon checks upon checks. In terms of planning and writing, I wasn't confident I could weave all those keys together without it feeling like everything was being deus ex machina'd. It becomes a separate story in itself, or at least it would to me, because I'd want to see how certain attempts fail and how near misses nearly expose the plot.
I ended up talking myself out of it and aiming for something simpler. That may have come to the detriment of better storytelling, I really don't know what it would have looked like when it was done.
What I opted for instead was something that would be a little less cumbersome to write while still being believable within the world I've built. (Prepare for my self-conscious justifications, haha!) In Renewal, balefire is a very new technology that Equestria embraces with a vengeance. Rather than this being a Cold War scenario where Equestria and Vhanna would both have The Bomb and both sides have ample time to caution themselves against mutually assured destruction, the setting is very much more of a 1945 scenario. Equestria has the bomb, Vhanna doesn't. Equestria's mistake was that it built up an arsenal before anyone could ask whether it was a good idea. Makes me wonder if the Enclave might have been behind that push as well? Either way, I felt like it was enough wiggle room to spare myself the whole messa backstory it would have taken for Spitfire and Primrose to steal the gold codes of several ministry mares, and finalization codes of one or more princesses.
That said, I agree with you completely. So much could have been avoided were the bar higher to launch Equestria's arsenal.
11208391
Thank you! As much time as I sometimes spend nodding off in front of my word processor, it's been a worthwhile story to tell. Hit me up with any errors you find, whenever you have a moment!
11209477
MY CABBAGES
<3 I'll be honest, I'm over the moon that these last couple chapters have hit home for so many of you.
11209885
^_^ I accept your wow!
11210176
Oh that's awesome to hear Selenophile's sketch brought you to the story! She put that together during one of her art streams on Picarto and it made my night!
I read your comment a few times and I have to say, I really appreciate the depth of it! Something I set out to do early on with Renewal was to step away a little bit from the Fallout franchise's sometimes heavy-handed comedy at the center of tragedy. I love the game franchise, don't get me wrong, but something that rarely resonated with me were the moments of almost slapstick humor threaded throughout the games. I felt like less is more when it came to these little moments, otherwise you start to undercut any genuine sadness you feel for the darker moments you come across. So when I came up with the idea for Renewal, I decided I wanted to create a story that starts out with unsteady steps into an absolutely dark and devastated world that the characters themselves (Aurora & Co, Julip, Beans, Chops & Dancer) have to prove false.
I deliberately avoid a lot of the schmaltzy forced humor in favor of what I felt were more sincere moments between characters. The little jabs between the core three, then more recently four main characters, for example, or more specifically the exchange between Roach and Knight Latch during which the two hope to revitalize the dead Gardens below Blinder's Bluff. Or Beans whispering with childish excitement that she is the teddy bear to a sleeping Julip. These little moments stand out much better against a dark and cynical world than would a constant stream of jokes or canon show references. Not that there's anything wrong with nudge-nudge humor, but I didn't want my story to have so much that it started to feel expected. That's the core of what I'm trying to do, anyway. Create a dark and terrible world of ruins in which exist little glimmers of hope, but not so many that you'll ever feel guaranteed another in the future. I don't want the humor to become a safety blanket.
There's something to be said about writing being therapy, as well. In recent years I've gone through some unwanted life events that I do feel have added to some of the cynicism you picked up on during your read. I try not to let it override the story I'm telling - nobody likes getting stuck in the same room with someone bent on sucking the air out of it - but I do tap into some of that personal anger when I find appropriate opportunities. Thankfully life has been on the upswing for me, so there might be a little less Brooding Batmare in the exposition going forward.
I'll gladly take your negative thumbs up, either way, and hope you stick around for the good things to come. :)
11211469
The character interactions really have been the highlight of the story for me - especially when they are not all in agreement (the argument on the stable stairs comes to mind).
Comparing the outcome of that chat and this reunion just feels so good because of how far Julip has come.
11214549
The bombs fell in 1067, whereas Delta's discovery of Spitfire's involvement occurred ten years later in 1077. I know in the Fallout canon the bombs fall in '77 but I just decided to be stubborn I guess. ;p
11214570
Fixed, and the littleexplorer.zip should have been pioneer.zip rather than the other way around. Brain fart on my part. ><
11214697
Er. Then... what about the reference I cited in Chapter 33?
Oh! Wait, nevermind. Looks like that was a bad reference, from part of my comment on that chapter:
"Oh, whoops, and this is right at the start of the chapter, but I caught it when I was checking back to look something up:
"October 31st, 1077"
"October 31st, 1067"?"
...Though that does mean that apparently that correction was missed.
Obviously, of course, disregard my later 77->87 comments here. And sorry about the misremembering.
Ah, righto; thanks.
Well now I want to know what the mystery comment said! :o
And yet again there’s an emotionally rich, beautifully written chapter with exactly 0 gun in it! Unacceptable!
8/10 lacks firearms
11215907
;) I swear "no gun" is like a meme or something at this point. You'll have to wait until the next chapter to see if there is an end to the drought of firearms going kerchew kerchoo, haha.
11216038
Aw thank you! I've been waiting for well over a year to write these past two chapters and getting them out there with such a positive reception has been gratifying beyond belief. I will ensure at least 1 gun appears in Chapter 39. ;)
11217485
Corrections have been made, thank you.
11218412
Aaaand fixed!
Took a bit but all caught up, really enjoying the alternate setting you've come up with.
11219673
Thank you <3 Almost three years in and I still love cracking open this weird little world in my head.
Thank you so much for writing this story, and for the latest update. I had finished up through them finding Aurora and am so glad there's some new chapters to tell me what's happened - what a cliffhanger!
A year ago I hadn't known anything about MLP - not read anything, not seen any of the series... well, might have seen some MLP porn now and then :P After reading the original Fallout Equestira book, I was hooked. I've now read most of the long format stuff, and consider your story one of my top favorites! Keep up the great work, and I hope to see much more of your stuff in the future!
11221887
Aw, that means a lot, thank you! Once Renewal is finished, I plan on shifting toward more short-form pony fiction of the SFW/NSFW variety, so hopefully that translates into a little more free time for my other hobbies and a touch more variety for the site here! :)
(after catching up on multiple chapters)
Welp, RIP my it-was-Celestia-all-along headcanon.
In hindsight though, it being just Shitfire and Golly does make the absolute dumpstering of the Vhannans make perfect sense—Spitty was getting her revenge for the Wonderbolts. I like how there's kind of a cult-like aspect to it too, with her buying into Cozy's 'magic bad tho' obsession. I wonder if she ever allowed herself to regret all of this...I guess probably not before Cozy(?) tried to kill her whole stable.
Hmm...
Wild speculation: In the endgame, something makes Golly's history of using hundreds (thousands?) of those hyper-stimpacks come back to bite her, and she goes all Dead Space boss. And then she gets rekt. With the Power of Friendship1. Which is Magic. BEE-YETCH.
11211489
I did kinda pick up on the feeling that things in Horseland just weren't structured or planned very well because they rushed to become an insanely overpowered doomsday villain of a country with no rival. I think if the rumors of Vhanna having balefire had just a little longer to stew in ponies' minds things might have turned out better. One thing in particular is that the aftermath probably wouldn't have been so bad if the princesses hadn't (to my reading of it) tried for some sort of show-like if we clap our hooves together and say we believe save of Canterlot. Luna went up there to help cast the shield knowing it was pretty much pointless, and then they both predictably die in a fire. Things could have been so much better if there was a hard protocol that at least one of them go directly to a stable as the first indication of an attack (and preferably they both go to separate, well-separated ones).
And then there's Third Princess. Did Candy just stand outside and watch the bombs come with her hubby and hope if her subjects hugged each other enough they could make their Very Magical Shield somehow stand up against The Thing That Eats Magic? Or did they think their neutrality would keep them safe and they didn't even have any stables in the CE?
Dead gods aside, in a similar scenario I wonder if things would have turned out better if those proto-Ranger remainders of the military hadn't had the Enclave in their way. Maybe they could have retained more of the spirit of Equestria if they hadn't had to spend two centuries in a horrible war with Golly And Friends.
Of course, let us never forget that this is ultimately still all Bookhorse's fault because she chose murder and made a magical treeverydisappoint.Also, Ginger (and others) need to Power of Friendship2 Tandy. She been workin' hard all these years, givin' out free candy, fuckin' with Golly, etc. Real MVP.
Also also, regarding the darkness level of Renewal, I think it's very well done. Everything feels coherent3, like there's real cause and effect in the world. I think part of what makes it feel especially dark is the way you've done the flashbacks. Even after Bookhorse fucked up, there were so many points where things could have turned around if not for the Cult of Golly, and we know none of it was going to work, we know the apocalypse comes, but it still hurts4 to see glimmers of hope get nuked, both in the past and in the now. I appreciate the restraint with comic relief too—it's fine in moderation, but overused to my taste in a lot of current media (part of why I lost interest in the MCU years ago). It may not be like a Fallout game5 where (as in most FPSes) the main character is a Minor God, but it feels quite valid for a similar universe, where the main character is just A Smol Horse Trying to Fix a Thing.
Anywaaay...
.
--
Phew...geez this story is SO WELL WRITTEN.
Can't tell where its leading. And I love that about it. I feel for the characters, both good and bad, I care about the nitty-gritty stuff, and I wanna see the most important part happen...
When roach and julip have to take a suit of armor...across a sea of glass.
XD
Mmm... here I sit and think? A rather interesting rethinking of the entire history of the original in general (well, as it was written back in the author's note)
What I like about this story is the sheer lack of madness of the original, although it's up to you. So, extremely interesting characters are also intertwined, someone still flew into space. Well, although I don’t consider myself a detective, for some reason, as soon as the first mention of SOLUS appeared, it immediately seemed to me that this was definitely not a station for observations.
Although the plot of the enclave with a superior race smacks a lot, but it justifies itself. Maybe, of course, this is not so striking, but as for me, about the ministry: rarity, pinky applejack, it is rather poorly written. But it’s really interesting to read about Stable-Tec, the only thing that bothered me was when the stories of the past appeared at the beginning of the chapters and at the end (well, for me personally, the first 10 chapters, then it became more interesting). The story may be focused on the conflict between the Enclave and the Steel Rangers, but it's not at all clear, but where are the zebras now? Alive or not?
The history of the appearance of the enclave is quite interesting and all their skeletons are in the cabinets... although there are not enough cabinets, but the cave with the camera is enough.
Although while writing a review, 1 burger disappeared from me, funny, it just evaporated.
Got a bunch of incoherent thoughts? And I would throw more! Yes, it's true that it hurts to read what I write myself. It is clearly not my place to write related reviews). But the story is pretty cool.
11230340
Haha, gotcha! Everyone just has to blame sunhorse! Part of the reason I've been telling the prewar side of the story in a needle-pulling-the-thread fashion from character to character rather than just focusing on the "important" roles was so that I could hopefully (and apparently successfully!) obscure the importance of Spitfire and Cozy's early relationship. I had a lot of doubts early on when I was still kicking off the flashbacks with Teak's journal (remember those?) but for once my stubbornness paid off!
As for what will happen to Cozy... https://tenor.com/view/secret-mad-tv-stewart-i-love-secrets-secrets-gif-5741908.
--
Tricky part about mashing Fallout into Horseworld is that in Fallout there's a whole ton of buildup to the bombs falling. You have WW2, nuclear peace, technological advances, prosperity, resource wars, and then everything goes up in flames. In starting a Fallout Equestria fic, you don't have time for that kind of buildup. You're already starting in that prosperity stage and nobody knows what "the bomb" is let alone the tech that powers it. In a way I prefer the compacted timeframe us writers have to create a believable story, but in other ways I wish I had more time to work with.
Having Celestia and Equestria's national pride on the line helped justify the acceleration of weapons development (see: Vietnam) but even then I needed a McGuffin. Having Discord slip up and tip Twilight off to the existence of entropy felt like it fit the ponyverse like a glove. Discord loves to brag, Twilight loves to research. I'll be 100% honest, involving Discord at all was an idea that popped into my head mid-write. He was never planned to appear in the story at all. Pretty sure we're done seeing him, too. Yeah, definitely no more Discord for Renewal. Nope. Not ever. But yeah, long story short, pressing Equestria's discovery and development of balefire into a single conflict set the stage for mismanagement on a colossal level. Thanks a lot, Shitfire. XD
Regarding the Rangers, I think you're right. Without the Enclave around, I think they might have found a better path forward. Coldbrook and Ironshod represent the worst the Rangers can offer, while Coronado and Latch have demonstrated a willingness to help those in need. On the same coin, I think one could argue that Chops and Dancer have potential for good. If Julip can turn over a new leaf, anyone can.
And most definitely, Tandy deserves a huge pat on the back.
I'm glad the darkness works for ya! Something I've tried to do since the beginning is to make sure there's a reason for everything that happens, be it a good reason or a bad one. I've gotten invested into some great books that just drop nonsense out of the air because, well, the author wanted to (looking at you, David Weber). Writing with personal rules is a great tip for folks who struggle with things just getting too off track (see: Me). It forces the characters to operate within a sphere of semi-realism while simultaneously giving them genuinely frustrating scenarios to respond to and grow from. Aurora is never going to trip over a shiny Make-Things-Better-Button and solve her problems with it, nor will Roach open a cabinet and find the Awesome-Super-Cure to his poisoned magic. The world is full of hardships that I want to feel real as they encounter them, and I think that's a large part of why the story reads as darkly cynical. Because... hey, it kind of is!
But! Against that dark backdrop, the lighter moments shine more brightly. Huge cliche, yeah, but it's true! Life just gets in the way of itself sometimes. The important thing for me while writing the lives of Aurora & Co. is to make sure the things they do and experience feel valid, like you mentioned they have been, and that's awesome as heck to hear.
11231316
Ah! Thank you! I'm glad you're still keeping up with the story, especially as it approaches something significant things that I've planned for over the past... eesh, SEVERAL YEARS. xD I'm especially glad to hear you and others are enjoying the minutiae. It's not everyone's bag of chips but boy is it mine. It's why I could never be an online gamer influencer whatever who streams her Fallout playthroughs for the big dollar subscribe thingies. People would fall asleep. I spend way too much time looking for scraps of paper to read and narrative threads to connect. ;)
And yes, Roach and Julip need moooore screentime together. Alone. In and or around a damp suit of power armor xD
*makes mental note to scrap together a sequel*
11233597
I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! I agree, there's much less "Wild Wasteland" themed tomfoolery in Renewal than there is in other Fallout Equestria fics. It's something about the Fallout universe I enjoy, but in moderation. Comic relief is like salt. It doesn't take much to spoil a meal.
I'm sorry you felt the backstory was poorly written. Would you mind elaborating what about it didn't work for you, or offer suggestions on how it could have been improved?
11235219
I can assure you that "the minutiae IS my bag of chips, it's even nuka cola flavored" XD
AND YES! YES JULIP AND ROACH NEED MORE.
and Flipswitch and that steel ranger guy(cant remember the name currently) who gave Aurora the compass, THEY need some time together XD
and more fallout out stories from you (sequels or other) are VERY WELCOME. and wanted.
and crap i still need to finish my flipswitch fanart...
11235984
Flipswitch and Latch? ;) But Latch is married! I don't know, if you ask me Fiona seemed more interested in Aurora and Ginger. If I recall, she did make a point to walk ahead of them as they descended Blinder's Bluff. Color me crazy but something tells me that bird likes being on display...
11237606
WELL THEN HER AND AURORA!!!!
11237675
Do it! :D
11238238
Oh awesome! I'm excited to hear how you like it as the story progresses!
11239142
Cider definitely has some... balls. :>
Having seen your note,it seems that the setting and lores of your fiction are different from those of Kkat's Fallout: Equestria and some famous side stories(like Project Horizon) of FoE?
11249293
They are, yep! Renewal is set in its own universe and has no lore or character connections with the original FO:E or its spinoffs. I'm writing from a blank slate.
11249571
Wow!All of these lores of your fiction are different from KKat‘s fiction!
11249293
Yep, and I say it's delightfully so. The twists and turns of not knowing what's coming are just divine, a definite recommend to read through!
11250511
They are! The only elements I borrowed from the original (that I can remember) are the ministries, because I wanted to make a nod to Kkat, and the concept of balefire. I did take some liberties with balefire's origin, with Discord initially introducing it to Twilight as Entropy and inadvertently setting her on a path of discovering Starswirl's attempts to conjure it. I've really glommed onto balefire as something that devours magic and leaves little to nothing behind. ^_^
11250697
Close! SOLUS was inspired directly by HELIOS One from Fallout: New Vegas. Always thought that was an underrated questline and it's been a blast making SOLUS my own. ^_^
11250762
Thank you! You have no idea how much time I've spent reading and rereading old chapters to make sure the canon stays airtight and the characters don't drop plot points that they shouldn't know. Holy farts I've done more of that in the last few chapters than I've done writing! :D
11251760
Now that's what I call quality! You're doing great!