At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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How many chapters long will this story be?
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I don't currently have a fixed number planned, but as of Chapter 18 (releasing tomorrow) we'll be a little more than a third of the way in. Possibly a bit further depending on how much page time is dedicated to fleshing out and resolving ongoing story arcs. I don't intend on running this until the wheels fall off and padding is not on the agenda either. I have a fixed outline that I'm following and once Renewed is done, it's done. :)
"It feels like I’m trapped in one of her nightmares"
...That phrasing raises some questions...
Haven't quite finished the chapter yet, writing this line at the point where Aurora comes back in, but I'd just like to say that that was good, well, the entire preceding part, but I'm thinking particularly of the immediately preceding part. I teared up significantly during the obituary, had to take my glasses off at least once.
"Loser has to sing for us, loser chooses which"
Was that second one supposed to be "winner"? And possibly "what"?
And now finished! Another good chapter; thank you for writing!
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Why, I have no idea what you mean! ;)
Writing obituaries is surprisingly hard. Like, I spent a couple days revisiting it because how stale it kept sounding. Giving Windy a send-off by her adopted son was a last minute change that I think gave her time in the Stable a bit of a redemptive arc and a little more to geab onto. I'm glad the end result had an impact for you!
Also, good eye on that typo toward the end! I've gone ahead and fixed it!
Interesting to get more of Dash's history. Also, Spitfire a ho'. That checking the time thing makes me think something else (beyond pure racism1) was going on, though. Did she know approximately when the local bomb was going to drop? Or did she just have some idea of how long it would take the flightless horses to reach the Stable? Or was she particularly determined to lock out Dash specifically? If so, why? We saw things go sour between them, but that's still a pretty harsh and final response...I'd guess more happened between them before the end.
Also interesting that we have another view of the Princesses. Someone earlier (I forget who) viewed them as childish, wanting to bury their heads in the sand from the realities of ruling and modernization and the war. But now Dash's perception of them has them far more involved and malignant—even sinister. This is an interesting inversion compared to the more common Fo:E general canon, which paints the Zebras as being heavily driven to war by religion as well as economic forces. It would be neat to get a first-
handhoof look at the Princesses' gut response to things like solar power (perhaps to the revelation of the existence of SOLUS2)..
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Hmm, what can I say without spoiling anything...?
Regarding Spitfire, I will say her motivations are not entirely fuelled by racism. She isn't going to win any awards for being inclusive, but there are other more prescient factors guiding her decision to close the Stable when she did. More to come on that!
I believe Jet Stream was the one who felt the princesses were making a mistake in not pursuing every avenue modern science had to offer, but it's also entirely possible I'm misremembering. I do have an upcoming scene outlined that will introduce our alicorn matriarchs directly, given this wouldn't be much of a story if I neglected them.
The zebras aren't blameless in my canon, but I never really liked the idea of making them the scapegoat by having their leadership crack under the pressure of religion. It's not an unbelievable plot point, but I always felt like it dehumanized them into a caracature villain. Making Equestria the aggressor and showing how individual, well-meaning choices can snowball into something like an apocalypse is a story I'm much more interested in telling and, hopefully, folks are willing to keep reading. :)
It's criminal that this story doesn't have more likes!
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Thanks so much!
Ooooooooh Elbow. I waited a whole month for this and it was worth it. Hopefully writing about horses will distract you from missing them <3
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It's a fantastic passtime for sure!
Dangit Ellie, you put together one hell of a chapter. This is what I was waiting for with Blue. And to see the fall of Blue's state again, it was like finally having dessert and then having it ripped away again. Well done with that! I want more, and the nice thing about getting back in is that there's more! And Gallus eh? Nice touch.
So let's see, I was immersed, intrigued, nervous, gripped, chuckled, and I cried a little bit. You hit all the emotions! I think that's a literary home run. Oooooh, speaking of....Buckball, the Equestrian Pastime! Just a thought.
I'm usually more of a AJ fan, but I'm really liking the RD character growth. I'm also good with the flirtatious tension there. Just sayin.
Great chapter!
P.S. - Beau was definitely going back for RD. The obit can say what it will, but I know what's #1 to a dad, and that's his daughter.
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Ooh, I'm glad this one hit home! Writing obituaries is surprisingly hard. It took more attempts than I care to admit before I landed on what appears in this chapter, and I can definitely get behind the idea of Beau going back for Rainbow. I wish there was some way to incorporate that into the story, but it's likely one of those things better imagined by the readers. Families stick together.
I just came across this story this past few days (thank a friend who introduced me to the author's... creative... creations on Imgur :D followed by my natural inclination to jump into some new discovery with both feet!). I've really enjoyed this story, but being an older brony and a Dad, I can say that this story of RD and how Sledge coped with it hit home so poignantly that I had to register and say, Wow.. well done. I shed tears. Bravo.
EDIT: Took out a stray "this" that somehow snuck in and made the sentence nonsensical :D
Woof. That's a powerfully written line; I love it! It genuinely gave me shivers...
I'm loving this fic!
I appreciate you explaining hinted details like this as I often am oblivious to the implications of subtle nods like this; even when I notice them it's hard to know if it was intentional and frankly it's helpful to know it was
I really like the way this is described. I don't have anything profound or insightful to share but I just really like this sentence
This sent shivers down my spine, this whole section is so wonderfully cathartic in how it sets the mood and fulfills the emotional obligations of the relationship Aurora holds with her people. It really makes both aurora and the first crew come alive as people. It feels satisfying, like a chord progression that cleanly resolves into a cadence that previously you were ignorant of... But now that it's happened, you can't imagine it resolving any other way. The idea of it being so obvious in hindsight, so complete.
Well done <3
Oh my goodness. Being able to witness Sledges disbelief and slow realization of what's happened with Blue is just... Indescribable.