At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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Love the new chapter! ...annnnd now its time to play the waiting game again lmao
Oh good more trips down depressing backstory lane and more tin foil paranoid prewar assholes lingering stench foiling up things. As always good chapter and now the frustration of waiting.
Also one small issue I found. Instead, a series two-by-fours had been nailed into the bark of the tree to serve as ladder rungs. pretty sure there's a word missing between "series" and "two-by-fours"
"Then Chrysalis and her hackneyed attempt to marry herself into Equestrian royalty."
Interesting; I wonder if she was indeed trying to marry Cadance rather than posing as her in this universe, then.
"functioning brain .It was the first time"
"functioning brain. It was the first time"?
"a series two-by-fours had been nailed into"
"a series of two-by-fours had been nailed into"?
"Opal frowned confusion."
"Opal frowned in confusion."?
...Or, given "Opal nodded understanding." just below, were those both deliberate? I think they could work as such, if you want to do that.
"hear something beside the suit’s hydraulics"
"hear something besides the suit’s hydraulics"?
"a leathery whip of skin coated vertribret, as"
If "vertribret" is a specialist term, it's not one I recall hearing before or found with a quick search just now, sorry.
"a leathery whip of skin-coated vertebrae, as"?
"often the case with most ghouls he’d met"
...Also, were the rest of the ghouls he'd met non-ponies, then, or something? This seems to be dividing ghouls he's met into three groups, and I'm not sure what the third is (the other two being those covered by both the most and the often and those covered by the most but not the often).
Or possibly I am more confused that I think here.
"away from Ginger toward with a touch of shock"
"away from Ginger toward him with a touch of shock"?
"She made a gesture for him to stop talking and started over again."
Was that supposed to have the spacing it does (in the chapter itself, not in the quote here; I believe it's a matter of formatting rather than in the raw text)?
"suddenly less at ease as they had been"
"suddenly less at ease than they had been"?
"the latter looking to the lesser"
Is that "lesser" a typo, a result of Applebloom's views on changelings, or something else?
"She wouldn’t have ordered so many ponies to seal the breach after the bomb hit if she didn’t think the shelter was expendable."
"She wouldn’t have ordered so many ponies to seal the breach after the bomb hit if she had thought the shelter was expendable."?
"Ginger tore the top off her packet and dipped a plastic fork into the meat-scented pudding inside."
...Which raises a few questions to me about the pre-apocalypse pony diet. Has this come up before?
"“A spare. Spare spare.. .” Applebloom’s"
"“A spare. Spare spare...” Applebloom’s"?
"The problem was, she seemed to be the only one in on the joke."
"The problem was, she seemed to be the only one not in on the joke."? Or am I misunderstanding what's meant there?
"of the noise .It felt as if she"
"of the noise. It felt as if she"?
"churning out enough energy every second"
To do what? It looks like some text went missing there.
"“Mille?” Applebloom frowned"
"“Millie?” Applebloom frowned"?
"Her eyes slowly widened with understanding as the pieces fell into place. This wasn’t just another Stable buried beneath the scorched Equestrian hardpan. It was clearly more than that. Those five behemoth machines were meant for more than lighting the corridors for their single surviving warden. They were the glue that held a webwork of subterranean shelters together."
...Why does this seem like it's such a fresh idea to her here? Given this earlier:
"Ginger pressed her mouth shut to stop herself from protesting. A defensive tension settled into her features as she reminded herself, grudgingly, that there was more at stake than just Stable 10. She and Roach had seen with their own eyes that each Stable was a part of a vast network."
I thought she was already thinking of this possibility. If she wasn't, what does that bit mean?
Or am I missing something else?
"servers and seeming limitless connections"
"servers and seemingly limitless connections"?
"generators, listening to the muted roar and wondered whether"
"generators, listening to the muted roar, and wondered whether" or "generators, listening to the muted roar and wondering whether"?
"one Mk.IV 50kWh Stable-Tec generator"
...Huh. What's being measured in kilowatt-hours there?
"wished they had .Thinking better"
"wished they had. Thinking better"?
"and least of all Sledge normally"
"and most of all Sledge normally"?
Though I'm not sure that's what you meant, something seemed off to me with the current phrasing.
"Now all she could do is wait and worry."
"Now all she could do was wait and worry."?
"The legitimate ones, anyway."
...Okay, sorry, that line just gets increasingly funny the more I think about it. I'm just imagining, by this point, a bunch of ponies in spiky, blood-spattered armor... bored, waiting in line to get their raider licenses renewed. :D
(
Though, more seriously, I'm notentirelysure what you meant there, but I'm guessing it'ssomethinglike "raiders who are genuine raiders most or all of the time, distinct from, on the one hand, people who pretend to be raiders, and on the other, people who are only occasionally raiders, or can/do spend significant amounts of time pretending to not be raiders"?Oh and then that gets clarified in the very next paragraph. Righto, moving on! :))
"Aurora took one out for herself and did the same, her eyes returning to the dusty mountains."
Wasn't it Julip who was looking at the mountains earlier? Or does this refer to something else?
"Aurora tried unsuccessfully to fit what Julip said into the narrative she already knew. Square pegs and round holes. She gave up on making them fit."
Huh. I mean, it seems pretty easy, nor does it change the conclusion.
They tried using the Elements to invade Vhanna. The Elements said no.
And they did not then even attempt, it appears, using them on their own side.
Because, sure, maybe the Elements won't work on this problem at all, for some reason. Or maybe it was purely a problem among the Bearers. But maybe, those newspapers were right. If it's one of the first two? Well, then the Elements will presumably just do nothing again, but the Bearers would have tried. Might even have been useful for propaganda, in a way; it'd make it easier to sell the Elements not working against Vhanna as being a sign that they were staying out of the war, rather than one that Equestria was wrong.
Because it rather looks to me, as if the main reason not to try the Elements on Equestrian forces, or threaten the government with them, or something... is concern that Equestria is in the wrong, and a desire to ignore that and instead focus on getting better at doing the wrong thing.
"sight of their muscles flex like cords wrenched"
"sight of their muscles flexing like cords wrenched"?
"of her stomach as she saw Paladin Ironshod"
"of her stomach as Paladin Ironshod"?
"Laying within literal leg’s reach of the churning"
"Lying within literal leg’s reach of the churning"?
"her skin as if she were laying atop some massive"
"her skin as if she were lying atop some massive"?
"How many obstacles had they been overcome"
"How many obstacles had they overcome"?
"to compensate, so redouble its own"
"to compensate, to redouble its own"?
To confirm my understanding of the description, the ignition talisman is a more or less flat hexagon, slightly elongated along a line between two of the opposite vertices, with that line forming the spin axis when active?
Aaaand finished!
...Any you just had to put that last section after the one before it, didn't you, rather than the other way around? Cruel, cruel author.
Thanks for writing, though! :D
(But wow, oh dear, that twist.)
(Also a lot of good stuff, of a variety of sorts, in the chapter, though! Different perspectives, among other things. Sorry I don't have more detailed comments on that at the moment.)
10897450
You missed Applebloom being referred to as Applejack when they start talking about the smaller generators.
Oh what a chapter, chap! Great build up
Son of a....well shoot. I take it this chapter takes place AFTER julip and roach had fun in the armor?
Otherwise...Imma assume she's not done...
10897780
...Always something getting through...
Thanks for catching that! :D
This chapter was awesome! I feel bad about Julip though. She was starting to grow on me. Also, the ignition talisman seems like a corrupted element of magic, or one that seems like a copy of a copy of a copy. Very interesting.
10897093
Hopefully not nearly as long as last time! :)
10897144
Oop, good catch, I'll run in and make a correction.
10897780
Could you toss me a direct quote? I'm having a heck of a time finding it. >_<
10897876
Thanks!
10898619
This takes place beforehand. That rental still has some wear and tear to undergo. :)
10899195
Don't count her out just yet. ;) The ignition talisman isn't corrupted magic, it's just different magic. If you remember waaaay back, Teak and Zecora were given two small healing talismans as gifts from their visit to Vhanna. Twilight had them confiscated, then studied, and eventually Lyra was the one to see their potential as a new technology resulting in the explosion at the MoT and subsequent destruction of Stable 2. At the end of the day, they're essentially batteries that charge themselves on the world's naturally occurring magic. :)
10899394
No problem.
10897450
Haha aaaagh so many weird period errors this chapter! Hokay, so the majority of the errors were corrects, thanks Reese! Lemme poke my head up and answer some of the questions you had mixed in there... FIMFiction needs a flippin' quote button. ;)
> Also, were the rest of the ghouls he'd met non-ponies, then, or something?
- He's referring to ghouls as a blanket statement without any particular clarification of which species degrades which way. I really should find some opportunities to sprinkle in past encounters like he had with Nurse Redheart, Gallow and the Kiln ghouls. Honestly, the thought of a gryphon ghoul sounds freaking metal...
> Was that supposed to have the spacing it does (in the chapter itself, not in the quote here; I believe it's a matter of formatting rather than in the raw text)?
- Agh, yeah, that's a formatting issue. I wanted to emphasize that she's rattling off the lyrics quickly until they run into a single unbroken word, but the site isn't playing nice with having one giant word lodged in there. I don't think hyphenating would fix it... ah well.
> ...Huh. What's being measured in kilowatt-hours there?
- The power output of the generator? Honestly, I could very well not be using the correct unit of measurement. In researching generators for this story, I'm finding that I am a *dunce* when it comes to using watts, volts, joules, googlezappies and angry pixies in the correct context. If I done goofed, elec-chickens of the site please help. :)
> ...Because it rather looks to me, as if the main reason not to try the Elements on Equestrian forces, or threaten the government with them, or something... is concern that Equestria is in the wrong, and a desire to ignore that and instead focus on getting better at doing the wrong thing.
- Nail on the head. It's not spoiling anything at this point to clarify that the Elements didn't work because the reason they were brought together again was not the right one. I'll leave it up to the readers to decide whether it's an issue of morality, loyalty or whether the Elements or the Tree of Harmony call the shots on when the murder rainbow turns on or not. Whether using the Elements against Equestrian forces would have worked... I'm just spitballing, but I think they probably wouldn't.
> To confirm my understanding of the description, the ignition talisman is a more or less flat hexagon, slightly elongated along a line between two of the opposite vertices, with that line forming the spin axis when active?
- Correct! As a friend who is also following this story has pointed out and has never stopped picking on me since... it's shaped pretty much like the rupees from Legend of Zelda. I cannot put into words how much that bugs me and now I'm just digging my heels in out of spite. ;p Keep in mind, this only describes the shape of an ignition talisman. Since each variant is functionally the same - a storage device for magic - it's the internal structure which dictates how magic will be affected as it gets released.
> ...Any you just had to put that last section after the one before it, didn't you, rather than the other way around? Cruel, cruel author.
- ;) It was initially plunked down at the very end, but yeah, I thought it would have a little more kick one scene back. Looks like I made a good choice! Hoho! And yes, many much perspectives this time!
10899394
so...julip isn't kicking up daisies?
10899428
Yeah, I don't know what might have happened there.
Anyway, thanks! :)
And sorry. :D
Ah, thanks!
So, often among most of the ghouls he'd met, who are/were ponies, but naturally not at all among the subset he'd met who were immune by virtue of not having the relevant anatomy in the first place.
"Honestly, the thought of a gryphon ghoul sounds freaking metal..."
...And now you've got me imagining that in the gryphon homelands (I forget the name this universe uses, sorry, and don't presently have time to look it up), it's become a common cultural thing for ghouls to become travelling rock musicians as a way to avoid becoming feral.
...And they're from before the end of the war (possibly excepting a few from later accidents), and very-long-lived.
Undead gryphon rock bards, preserving gryphon culture (both prewar and the good parts of what's developed since) and carrying news throughout the gryphon lands? :D
Ah, sorry.
Ahh, thanks. Sorry. :D
Yeah, kilowatt-hours are a unit of energy, like joules, not power (one watt is one joule per second; one kilowatt hour is generally something that annoys me because I don't see why we can't just use joules (More seriously, one kilowatt hour is 3.6 MJ... according to Wikipedia, at least, as I just looked it up due to not being sure off the top of my head just how the hour was put in and being short on time.)). It sounds like you want kilowatts there. (Did you check the 50 kW(?) value, by the way? Does that also need closer inspection?
(Actually, yeah, I'm in enough of a hurry that it took me a bit to realize it, but 50kW to power an entire Stable sounds really low. To put that in perspective (hastily, using something I already remembered the location of), quoting https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMD_F40PH: "The HEP unit generates three-phase AC power at 480 V (500 kW on the first order, 800 kW on later units) for lighting, heating and air-conditioning the train."))
(Also, elec-chickens? What? :D)
(Also, it looks like you didn't comment on my comment on Ginger appearing to think of the network issue, then being very surprised by it? That'd imply it was one of the just-errors you mentioned, but I checked back quickly and didn't notice a change. Is the change just not in yet, or is something else going on?)
Yeah, no, I think if anything it'd have been spoiling something to say that wasn't the case, it seems so clear. Well, except maybe if it was just the group having already become unable to use them at all by that point; I don't recall the timeline off the top of my head.
Anyway, though, thanks!
(And personally, I think the Elements, at least in show canon, have some sort of implied (or possibly more than that, if we look at things with the Tree later) decisionmaking capacity, or something that equates to it; they do some pretty complex stuff in the show, as I recall. But, again, very low on time presently; sorry.)
"Whether using the Elements against Equestrian forces would have worked... I'm just spitballing, but I think they probably wouldn't."
Interesting. Why do you say that, if you don't mind me asking? Not that I'm saying I disagree, more that I don't know.
Thanks!
...Sorry about the rupee thing, though. :D
(But they are more flat than rupees, right? You were speaking of the outline? Or are they much closer to fully rupee-shaped?)
"Keep in mind, this only describes the shape of an ignition talisman."
...This quite confused me, though, because... yes? That's... what we were talking about?
"Since each variant is functionally the same - a storage device for magic - it's the internal structure which dictates how magic will be affected as it gets released."
This also confuses me a bit, but also led to one hypothesis that, if true, would make this and the previous bit much more clear to me: have you now broadened the discussion to talismans in general? Such that the first was saying it wasn't describing the shapes of all talismans, and this is saying that different internal structures, which can sometimes allow, lead to, or require different shapes, are the main determinants for what kind of talisman one is?
(Also, I wonder how long it takes an ignition talisman to charge up? Both when they were made, and now, since I suspect the values may be different.)
Humph. For some meanings of "good", maybe.
(:D)
And aye, I think that those worked well.
Thanks for the reply!
10899394
I totally forgot about those talismans! Thanks for the reminder.
Always a great when new chapters post - nice work : )
You should really consider publishing this In treemeat, it's that good.
10899750
Treemeat? What is that?
10899447
I don't knooow...
10899750
Wait. Treemeat. Paper. You meant books. >< I'm so dumb.
10900193
OHHH DON"T GIVE ME THAT!
*fluffs up my floof and warbles*
Youre the writer.....you're the ONLY one who knows XD
10900380
Oh no, not my AMNESIA where are my keeeys
10900421
*screams internally and flails. Warbling intensifies!!!*
Oh, and:
10900214
I feel a bit better about taking so long to get "elec-chickens"->"electricians" now. :D
10903583
Always have to sneak a little bit of AvE humor in when I can!
10906382
...Yeah, and now striking a blank on "AvE", sorry. :D
My leading hypothesis is "some-type-of-engineering-beginning-with-a vs. electrical engineering", but I'm not sure, or what the first type would be.
(Also, just checking, but do you not have a reply to my earlier comment, or is it just waiting for composition until you've a large enough time block? Not rushing or the like, just wondering.)
10906865
Holy farts that's a big comment to have missed! Sorry, hold on a tick and I'll look at it. FIMFiction has a way of not notifying me when comments roll in ><
10899538
Hokay let's see...
In Renewal, yep, ghouls can be made from any sentient creature. Ponies, gryphons, bughorses, all that jazz. Though Roach spent most of the last two hundred and change years in the tunnel, he did make regular outings for basic necessities during which he had encounters like the one where he met Ginger. While it might not be written in the main story, I don't think it's too far fetched to assume he's bumped into non-pony ghouls or at least heard about them in passing.
Fiona as a gryphon rock bard. That I can get behind. ;)
As for the generator output, I've always equivocated the one Aurora worked on in Stable 10 to roughly the same output as a turbine generator for a hydroelectric dam. Somewhere in the range of 10-20 megawatts?
Regarding the talisman confusion, sorry about that. Remember when Julip was asked to verify the talisman Coldbrook had sent a photo of, and she recognized it as a shield talisman from its shape alone? That's what I was referring to. I may actually need to mention it again in the next chapter or so to refresh the readers. The internal structure of each talisman dictates what magical effects they produce, so it goes without saying that the overall shape would be affected as well. An ignition talisman can only be an ignition talisman, and a shield talisman can only be a shield talisman.
Great updates!
10907564
Oh! Well, I'm glad I mentioned it, then!
And no problem. I've sometimes caught FIMFiction not notifying me of comments, too -- and unfortunately I'm still not sure just why it does it. I basically just hope I haven't missed anything too important in my time here -- though sometimes I also check for replies manually.
10907578
Sorry in advance if I've forgotten just what was going on in a thread.
Thanks; I... think that that answers my question? Sorry, as mentioned above, not entirely sure at the moment what my question was, only mostly, and I'm low on time (It's... not that weird to get distracted making a spreadsheet to rederive math for voltage dividers for fun, right? :D).
Heh, well, she lacks the "undead" part, but otherwise, aye, I could see it, I think. :D
(Also, I imagine that rock star!Fiona would also be happy to have fans wanting to get behind her, wink, yes, from what I recall of her character. :D)
Ah, yeah, 10-20 megawatts sounds much more reasonable, at least in magnitude; I don't have time at present to look for good comparison examples, though, sorry. I'm guessing they wouldn't be too hard to find, though, with more time to search than I had?
...Though I'm curious: if you were already thinking that, how did you get to using kilowatt-hours in the story?
Thanks! I'm not sure that was a direct hit on the question, but the splash damage, as it were, seems to have covered it, and perhaps given some additional information besides. :)
(...And since it looks like it might have gotten missed: So what "is" "Ave"? Sorry.)
Okay, hopefully that's everything; sorry if I'm forgetting something, but, as I said, rather in a hurry at the moment...
10908595
Thank you!
10909343
;p It literally didn't notify me of the most recent two comments. Atta girl, FIMFiction, rock that amnesia.
10909356
...Yeah, I don't know. Particularly since, I think, it should actually be notifying you thrice for my comment there: once for each of the two replies, and once because it's a comment on a story of yours, right? Or perhaps I'm getting that wrong. Still seems to make it even stranger that it instead did zero, though...
That was such a cool chapter. I loved the addition of the Sweetie-Ghoul section. It's what I loved about your Blue writing with a bit more of a feral side. (TBH, I was considering wring a comment of all "Ruh"s, for fun).
Is that a Star Wars storm trooper reference?!? If so, sweet reference! I assumed it was and got a good laugh out of it!
I like the singing and it matches her character. I'm just throwing this out there, my favorite Apple Bloom song is On My Own. I figured she would be wailing that in those empty halls. I guess there's still time, but tear out my freaking heart if she ends up crooning that in some way in the future.
I'm down with the Julip work. I'm curious if she's going to show up in the future, but I like the thought that the wasteland takes and takes. Nobody is immune to the wastes. Sometimes, main characters have to go that way.
All in all, I love that no matter how hard things get here, I have your story to escape to when I get a chance. It's a great read every time and I can't wait to see how things continue to develop. I'm curious if Twi and Discord will ever show back up, what Big Mac is up to and if he's actually long gone, what's going to keep developing with Tantibus, and so many more plot points. So cool you are able to keep so many things alive and interesting.
PS. My head canon, Sweetie-ghoul is actually a bot that is low on batteries. Sweetie-bots last act will be to set phasers hug... then eat.
10923105
Sweetie-Ghoul has been burning a hole in my notes for way too long now! I was initially going to title this chapter "Mirror," but it felt a little on the nose. Aurora's starting point in the tunnel as compared to her end-goal, which was Stable-Tec HQ. Both in ruins, both inhabited by a ghoul and a semiferal ghoul counterpart... I thought I'd take the risk and see how it played out, and god I really do love writing from that not-all-there POV. <3
And yes, that was a Storm Trooper reference and by god someone picked up on it! Haha yeah, I'm hip with the pop culture!
Using On My Own would have been an immensely better choice and I am furious that I didn't remember it before I wrote the dang chapter. I might just retcon that in at some point because fffffffuck me that woulda been perfect! Augh!!
And yes, without giving anything away, the characters who appeared in flashbacks earlier in the story will very possibly reappear later on. I don't plan on diving into each individual character one by one a la the original FO:E because holy crap this story would go on for 100 chapters if I did that, but I don't plan on leaving many if any loose threads either. ;) How's that for vague?
Thank you so much for the encouraging words, I'm really stoked that you and others are along for this weird fanfictiony ride with me. Good news on the Chapter 33 front, it's already closing in on being finished and will be out in a timely manner! Hooray!
MOTHERFUCKER.
Ironshod has been added to the shitlist along with Golly and Spits.
Okay, so first off, how DARE you. Second off, how DARE you.
Third, cheese and crackers is this story good. You have me binge reading up until 2 am to keep going and catch up. I love the parallels to Blue and Roach here, but I did NOT expect Ironshod of all ponies to make a resurgence here and become the
waterwaste's worst bastard. But here we are.I was really getting attached to Julip. How could you? I was SO ecstatic when she lied to Primrose. How could you do this.
I'm in pain yet excited to keep reading.
[Edit for typo]
11669196
*sees what chapter you're on*
Uh oh.
I gather from the crack In the bulkhead that radiation must have seeped in to ghoulify the upper residents but I hope scoots was able to live a relatively long and peaceful life down there. She was a good bean
Well I guess I did hope that they lived long lives! In my books, being a lucid ghoul or even what dash became far outweighs the suck of being dead or feral
Should be 1067 no? Previous flashback in this chapter that this seems to be continuing says 1067
I was about to ask if this also had a logical mechanical purpose or if you were making stuff up to make a believable launch sequence, maybe because all this Rad talk had me thinking radiation and forgetting that radiators exist. I was thinking glycol as a hydraulic fluid (some of our hydraulics use water glycol where flammability is a concern)
But then I remembered radiators exist
Bloom?
Oooooooo the dots are starting to connect; maybe this is what caused spitfire to cry on the footage. Applejack getting back at spitfire for all the crap she caused. Tho it seems out of character for her to make all the stable suffer for just her own revenge. Maybe DV cut the connection to interrupt the purge?
Nooooooooo :( poor delicacies can't catch a break
Wtf?????????????? Wtffffffff?????????????????????????? Are you kidding me? Noooo!!!!!!!
I am truly perplexed if "hackneyed" was chosen for its dual meaning on purpose or if it was a total coincidence. The secondary meaning referring to a regular horse.
Again, "pirouette" also has a dual meaning that refers to horses.
While there are other instances, I decided to point these two out due to the first one being so startlingly fitting it made me question if it was intentional. Perhaps I have been delving too deeply into a dictionary, which this novel has certainly provided me no shortage of visiting. Even if coincidental, it draws focus to your talent as a writer. I can tell you used a thesaurus while writing this book.
I love the mention of this banger song, but sympathetic to its function in maintaining Bloom's sanity.
Clever.