At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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These update times... OWO
Edit: Do you enjoy making me suffer?
Edit Edit: What.
10238147
Haha yeah, I definitely won't guarantee I can keep up the pace of the past week. I've been itching to get this chapter out there so I was hypermotivated to put other things aside to accomplish that. :) Also I'm sure we'll never hear from the Enclave ever again and that they will respect Roach's wishes.
O h .
So everything isn't broken because Twilight's a bitch.
Everything is broken because Twilight's a murderous bitch.
I guess even moreso after this first balefire kaboom, since it seems a reasonable conclusion given how the future turns out that while everyone else is going, "oh no we fucked up in the worst way", in her head Twilight is all, "oh hey I could kill so many zebras with that! ".
Interesting though, that contrary to my theorizing on the last chapter, balefire doesn't blow away or break magic but just straight up eats it. Still leaves questions open around Luna's little history lesson—why did it take time for magic to become usable? Is there a similar process going on now?
Also since you just low-key put this in the same universe as Star Trek now I'm like, "warp plasma burns green so how is warp power related to magic and if warp drives are basically balefire drives does this have anything to do with how warp travel damages subspace?! AAAAAAAA–"
Also, funny that they're so damn effective at keeping solar power tech away from the zebras, but this somehow manages to get leaked.
On the future side of things, I–
...wait.
Ohhhhh. So Kiln wasn't the result of a missile, it was a result of the test we just flashed back to. Are our heroes about to get attacked by the ghouls of whoever wasn't vaporized at Stable 2? Fun! Wake up, Aurora!
10238851
Correct! (Mostly!) The moment when Twilight decides not to give Tirek her collective magic, freeing her friends and Discord, and rather taking the safer option and pancaking his skull into bedrock is when this timeline diverges from the MLP:FiM canon. Ergo, no Stygian, no defeat over Starlight Glimmer (recall earlier that she attempted to write a time travel spell and locked herself into a Futurama-like stasis before she was discovered), and no resurgence of Chrysalis or Grogar. I thought it was a nice, tidy line to draw and created a little bit of a background for Twilight's more menacing personality today.
Regarding magic and how it works in this story... well, you'll have to see. ;)
A quick clarification on Kiln: that might be my fault for being unclear, but Kiln was a result of a balefire missile during the war. I may need to jump back into Chapter 21 and add some clarification that the witnesses reporting a plume in Quarrytown (later Kiln) were seeing it at a distance rising over the mountain range. Stable 1 and the unfinished 2 were both situated within the Pleasant Hills at the time of the explosion. I can absolutely see how folks might mix those up. Eep!
"No more front line commanders too afraid to send ponies into the line of fire for fear of losing a few measly yards of mud."
Hm. This sentence seems to be not fully parsing for me; I've been rereading it for a while, but I'm afraid I'm having trouble even putting together a question more detailed than "What does it mean?'. How does the fear of losing a few yards of ground related to the fear of sending ponies into the line of fire, if I'm even reading those parts right?
Ah, an interesting point of difference with Tirek...
"but as time passed he found it more and more difficult to keep"
"but as time passed she found it more and more difficult to keep"?
And that's an... interesting history for Discord. :D
...That adjacency of flashback segments brings up a good point: in this universe, construction of the Stables started before the development of strategic megaspells. I don't recall exactly what the given justification in this universe was for them, but I can see why it'd be a harder sell. In retrospect, of course, we can see that fears of the war worsening that much were entirely justified, but they may well not have seemed so to many at the time.
written later: Oh, and then the chapter went into that. :D
"the wick laying on the rug below"
"the wick lying on the rug below"?
Not entirely sure I get the lesson Celestia learned from Twilight declining princesshood, though my leading "hypothesis" is a rather vague idea of something about giving her ponies too much free rein and coddling them too much. I'm not sure how likely that is, though, and for one thing I'm not sure why it would specifically lead her to not correct Twilight here.
...I note that Scootaloo required Celestia's permission to access the feed, but not actually any sort of password or authentication. I doubt she was just cracking the security and being so fine letting Celestia know about it, but I do wonder just what was going on there...
So, another good chapter, I found it! :)
That ending, though... I can see that little maybe-light by Twilight being a red herring you put in for us, but if it isn't, well. Either way, whether she actively sabotaged the test with her new spell or just observed another piece of complex magic going wrong, I imagine she's hoping this gets the project cancelled.
But, well. What I'd expect, and listening to Celestia at the end, though it isn't explicit...
On the one hoof, if that flaw can be fixed (or discovered to be resolvable by keeping pettily angry purple alicorns away), the promise of these talismans as a power source could be realized. And their use for powering Stables suggests that this has, in fact, happened (though this chapter raises some questions about exactly why Stable 10's talisman might be failing; this also seems like it might be a universe that doesn't have Stable Experiments).
On the other.
Something barely larger than a chicken's egg, just did that. Maybe it needed a little help. But still. Imagine what that could do to the enemy lines at the tip of a pony-portable rocket. Imagine where an agent might be able to sneak one behind the enemy lines. And imagine what a bigger one might do to an enemy city.
If ponies aren't imagining that yet... I expect it won't be long.
10238887
Er. Wouldn't the divergence need to be earlier, at least back when Twilight didn't accept princesshood?
Though regarding Twilight's more menacing personality today, there's another potential aspect too: Everyone got their key for the box, except her. That means they had those experiences, and she, well, didn't have her version.
As for Kiln, as another data point for you, I wasn't confused there, myself. I don't know what the balance among readers might be, though.
10239967
Hm. How about, "No more reports of front line commanders too afraid to engage the enemy for fear of losing a few measly yards of mud?" It's a bit of a wonky sentence.
I was hoping that Stable 1 and 2 appearing before the advent of megaspells would click without being too jarring a change from the expected canon, woo! The original concept was for them to be used as temporary shelters during expected times of crisis, a la the air raid shelters built beneath London in response to the Blitz. I considered rolling out Stables solely as a response to balefire but it felt like too abrupt of a leap forward. I wanted to ease into it gradually, beginning with Scootaloo's home-bunker business, growing into her designing the Pillar and allowing her to begin designing larger-scale community shelter prototypes before the big one hit. Just makes my brain happy to have a stepping stone process to the advent of Stable-Tec. Also... other reasons. Nyeh heh heh.
Scootaloo was requesting Celestia's permission to break into the feed, which she did via her Pip-Buck. Given she's the only civilian present for the test, I thought it would make more sense for her to ask permission to break the law rather than do it flagrantly in front of the princesses. :)
Oh, also fair point on the exact moment the story splits from canon! That *would* have been when she declined the role of princess. I guess in my head I pictured the Tirek moment as the seed that irreversibly steered events away from the rest of the show. I left the lesson Celestia learned a little vague partly for the sake of brevity, but also to leave wiggle room for readers to make their own interpretations. In my head, I see it as Celestia feeling she put too much faith in Twilight as a friend/confidant and forgot that at the end of the day, she was one of her subjects. She didn't expect Twilight to accept ascension and reject the implied responsibility and felt, justifiably, burned by her.
Regarding that maybe-light by Twilight, I have no idea what you're talking about and my lawyers advise me to make no comment until the next chapter.
(Also, fixed those two typos as well!)
Huh trixie accidentally invented Megaspells while trying to make a magic talisman generator yeah seems legit
10240089
...Still not working for me, sorry.
What actually is the connection there? Why are they afraid that engaging the enemy will lose them ground?
Ah, thanks. :)
Oh, "other reasons", eh? Well, I expect we'll see what those are in time. :)
Oh, thanks. So she was, indeed, getting in in a way she wasn't supposed to, but with full permission.
Well, it's not certain that that was when it happened, since there might have been something earlier that led to that, but it'd have to be at least that early, yeah. But yeah, you have a point; if she'd just declined the title at that point, things could have potentially still ended up pretty much the same with her just taking it up later, or something. What happened with Tirek, not so much.
re Celestia: Ah, thanks. :)
:D
(Thanks. :))
Sounds like the talismans might be what's causing magic to return slowly if they constantly use it to generate energy! Who knows how many more stables are still operating and using the talismans. Well, it's either that or Twilight just sabotaged Trixie and caused the MAST to go unstable
10241190
Hmm... who knows? ;)
Wow, one heck of a chapter, AND A DAMN CLIFFHANGER, THANK YOU. Love it! So many interesting things are going on, it is incredible!
Dang, so you totally flipped everything as soon as Tirek went down.
That's where everything really changed and all this, your universe, came from.
Amazing work!
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Woo! I'm glad you're getting amped up!
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Things are starting to pick up speed for sure! Hang in there, there's plenty more to come!
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Definitely a valid concern, and I'd tend to agree that I spent a bit too much time with Zecora and Teak early on. It's wild how a year can change what I expected to get from that break-away. I wanted a lead-in to the Rainbow flashbacks that felt natural, and sliding in via Teak's journal seemed like a good way of doing it. Going forward, yeah, following Teak's journal isn't critical reading material. More of a window into the past for flavor that can be cut back a bit.
I can see how the heavy flashbacks can get to be a bit much, too. I'll try to pare those back just a hair so the focus can return more strongly to Aurora, Ginger and Roach. We're definitely at a point in the story where flashbacks can stay more tightly focused going forward, without the meandering in the "Worlds Collide" chapters. :)
Thanks for the feedback! Let's see how Chapter 22 forms up around it!
10244805
Things have been picking up since it started, dang near!!
Well at least Flutters didn't do it this time.
man...this chapter was great. You left me on a cliffhanger though. I don't like that, but i respect it, and as always, will wait patiently for the next chapter. Keep up the good work!
10250666
I'm half-tempted to end a chapter nice and neatly, fade to dark and then have someone add an unnecessary, "Unless..."
Glad you enjoyed it though! Chapter 22 is in progress, but it'll take a bit longer than a couple weeks to finish up. I'm starting work again this week and that means I'm apt to do most of my writing on my days off. We'll see if it doesn't balance out with more manageable chapter sizes.
10250784
HA! omg that... that would have been fun to come across at one point. great and simple way to build suspense. but! lets make it "better": -next chapter- -character wakes up in a fright- "entire previous chapter just a dream"
take all the time you need to write, and whatever you need to adjust to make things easier for you go for it!
I’m still curious about “Mac”. I wish he was more coherent, it’d be cool. Ghoulesque.
----------------
Uh oh~ someone may have just let out that stable 10 isn't as pure as the enclave had assumed~ and without that protection, they're just another vault to be burgers and reclaimed for the good of Old Equestria, and the pegesi Enclave.
Also, twilight just crossed a line a mile wide at a dead sprint.
Oh my god I was right. Twilight created the deathclaw, and Big Mac was the first. calling it here.
Oh, so this is when Twi
went off the deep endstarted shifting down this path. Poor girl had the expectations of the world placed on her, and the stress was probably too much.I can't help but wonder if we're going to see Aurora, Ginger, and Roach getting this sixth key, or if Twilight is alive still. Maybe the Tree of Harmony will change the result into what this world needs now, rather than a castle for Twilight and a new home.
Twilight isn't so off the deep end as I thought. She,'s stressed, tired, and scared, and she's the only one still willing to visit Discord. It seems like maybe they might have that last key in the bag after all, since somewhere, some time, that lesson must have stuck after all. She really is still a friend to him - or the closest thing they can approximate.
Oh. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Balefire is Entropy, which seems to exist as the shadow to Magic's light source. Can't exist without it, but can't exist in the same space, perhaps. That's why the magic is so messed up - the balefire is essentially a shadow, covering the magic. Or vice versa - Balefire, Entropy, is the light, and it's pushed away the shadow of magic.
Oh, did Twilight... did she create the Balefire Bombs? Oh no. Ohhhh no.
I think Aurora might be my favorite protagonist, like, ever.
This is what I've been wondering, and I'm glad to see Aurora finally worrying about it, too.
It wasnt Twilight. It was Trixie. I don't even have words.
This fic is absolutely phenomenal, and I cannot wait to continue reading.
Incredibly brilliant to invoke Baal's name in the conceptualization of this spell. I don't know if this is a reference to something in the MLP universe or an intentional reference to DnD. Balefire being originally named Baal's Fire is an apt reference to the Lord of Murder. I know Baal in this story is spelled differently than Bhaal from the Forgotten Realms, but the pronunciation is the same and I still find it a fitting connection. I also find it very humorous that Twilight's refusal to pronounce it correctly resulted in it being renamed.
Seems like Celestia is becoming far more cynical. This makes me wonder if she will be the one who commissions the destructive power that was displayed in this chapter.
Definitely seeing the implication that in this universe, Balefire bombs were entropy bombs, consuming the magic. Makes me wonder if the magic wouldn't replenish over time, since theoretically there's no reason an energy as ubiquitous as magic on one world wouldn't also be present on other planets in the solar system, or within the fabric of the universe itself. And afaik how entropy is thought to work is that the space of low(high? Always forget) entropy in equestria would create a pressure gradient that would flow nearby magic to return the equilibrium, like how a drop in thermal energy would siphon the energy out of surrounding materials to return it to steady state. In such a case, and in such an extreme disparity of energy levels, 200 years could very well be enough time for magical energy to begin siphoning back into equestria again
If twilight used the Balefire spell on that thing to cause a Balefire bomb.... Man she just became almost as sordid and unlikeable as autumn
11795086
Lots o' feedback! So, yep, balefire is essentially the antithesis of magic in their world. Entropy versus creation. Matter and antimatter (figure of speech, I'm riding some melatonin to sleepy time right now). I think it's fair to say the bombs going off were akin to Equestrian magic as a stomping boot is to a puddle. It created a void, but with enough time that magic is bound to flow back. Maybe not in two short centuries, but in time yes.
Twilight's character in FOE:Renewal definitely went dark quickly as I wrote her. Some of that might have been the author channeling some significant work related stress. I like to think she didn't know to what extent her interference in Trixie's test would be harmful. She's just learned of a corrupting magic, was feeling petty, and saw an opportunity to knock her rival down a peg. And it went sideways hard. Her response afterwards shows how utterly numb she's become to all of it. Not that I'm letting her off the hook. She still did inadvertently create... well, *that.*
As for the friction between Aurora & Co. and Julip... stick with 'em. No spoilers. ^^