At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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Uh oh, somepony knows about some magical unicorn now... sorta at least
"the pulling end of a locomotive"
What does this mean? I can think of a number of possibilities, and a quick search to see if this was a standard phrasing I wasn't aware of didn't bear fruit.
"Setting the ratched down"
"Setting the ratchet down"?
"they were earth pony or pegasi, would"
"they were earth pony or pegasus, would"?
"Beggars can’t choosers, I guess."
"Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess."?
"For a pegasi in New Canterlot?"
"For a pegasus in New Canterlot?"?
"the stallion who owned it was a pegasi."
"the stallion who owned it was a pegasus."?
"a mare I remember as foal who"
"a mare I remember as a foal who"?
"breath that Ginger couldn’t quit here, but"
"breath that Ginger couldn’t quite hear, but"?
"of a non-pegasi fuckhouse surrounded"
"of a non-pegasus fuckhouse surrounded"?
To confirm, Applejack broke the door between Primrose's room and the hall, right, which is why it's an open frame when Thunderlane arrives the next day? And the door of Spitfire's office hissing closed after Thunderlane was the door moving against carpet or the like, not an automatic closer that had been installed since Applejack left?
...Though having read a bit further, if Thunderlane didn't, when he arrived, know what happened yesterday, I'm not sure why he didn't remark on there no longer being a door. I assume he's been here before, at least?
...Aaaand Applejack threatening Spitfire and Primrose was potentially what actually properly started the Enclave. Well. Oops.
"very real possibility that telling these Stables they can unseal the doors won’t lead to their immediate deaths"
"very real possibility that telling these Stables they can unseal the doors will lead to their immediate deaths"?
I assume, at least? The current phrasing, while technically valid, doesn't seem to make sense to me in context.
"Door burned around her, above her"
"Doors burned around her, above her"?
"tilting sing-song tone she knew hated."
"tilting sing-song tone she knew she hated."?
Well, another long chapter and I really need to be going now, but another quite enjoyable chapter too; thank you for writing! :)
10595345
Typos (so many typos) fixed, thank you for noting them again! I swear I can read over these chapters after writing them and go blind when I actually come up to one. :)
Applejack didn't break the door into Primrose's reception area, I just... apparently forgot that one existed there when I began writing the flashback following. Haha, well heck. Let me swing back and fix that. Aaaaand fixed. The door has magically disappeared, and Applejack instead shoulders her way through the open doorframe and past a departing office page, startling Primrose. ;) Continuity!!
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I'm sure nothing will come of it.
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Ah, you're welcome. :)
And aye, typos can be sneaky; I've experience with that post as a reader pointing out ones that slipped through and an editor having them pointed out to us.
Heh, thanks. :D
(Though I'm afraid I'm still not sure what exactly you're trying to say with "the pulling end of a train".)
Oh! And while I was looking back to check to see if anything'd changed about the door to Spitfire's office (not that I noticed, so I'm guessing I was indeed right there), I noticed this:
"against the secretary’s bubblegum pink sternum, and shoved her hard enough"
Did you mean "sacrum" instead of "sternum"?
10597440
Hm, maybe the analogy isn't working as well as I thought in the moment. I'll swing back and be more direct, comparing the generators directly to a locomotive rather than trying to be coy with the wording.
Oh, sternum was what I was going for in that scene. Primrose is following close to AJ, so she plants her hoof against Prim's chest. I'm trying to get away with anthropomorphizing the anatomy just a little for the sake of making it less jarring. I'll swing back and substitute "chest" in rather than sternum since it's a little looser and more anatomically correct. I just don't want to be one of those writers that gets so hyper-accurate with equine anatomy that readers need to keep a tab open just to google the vocabulary. :)
Minister Primrose is pre-war Primrose. Somehow I had assumed they were separate ponies.
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(Sorry about the delay in getting back to you; I've been very busy.)
Ah, thanks! Sorry the analogy wasn't working out, though.
The new description does seem clearer to me, however.
(Though:
"more akin to the locomotive stripped of its wheels"
"more akin to a locomotive stripped of its wheels"?)
Oh! Sorry, it looks like I misread; I'd thought that Primrose was facing away from Applejack, and the hoof was being planted on the other end. At least on the second sighting, where I reported that; possibly I interpreted it the correct way the first time.
The new description seems clearer to me, though.
Thanks!
(And thank you for your concern there. :))
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I really had a hard time getting into Pink Eyes, but for me the dialogue was just really pulling me out of it. The author definitely rocks the mix between dark and comic, and I loved the backstory he was weaving about roaming foals in hazard suits, but I never kept up with it. Aside from that one, the original FO:E and Blackjack's are the only other two I've tried out. I think I started up Blackjack's too quickly after finishing FO:E though. Seeing the absolute mountain of chapters ahead of me (which I'm so freaking guilty of right now) spooked me. ;p
Oh! Obviously no spoilers, but the thread of backstory pertaining to Twilight & Co. isn't over. I've been trying to get better about keeping chapters relatively consistent in size though, so I pushed forward a chunk of backstory to later chapters so I could keep the most recent one on pace. I'm still finding myself doing course correction when it comes to how often I interrupt Aurora's story to feed in more backstory. Definitely something I need to practice more with, but purple butt will be making a return!
I'm not sure how well the coal vein detail connected with folks, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! I thought it would be fun to link the inadvertent destruction of Stable 2 by the failed M.A.S.T. test directly to the failure of Stable 1, if for no other reason than to have the coal fire be that last bit of stress that caused an already fractured population to finally snap. In the early outline I just planned on cobbling together an interesting Stable-Tec experiment to explain the collapse, but the idea of a coal fire stuck in my head after I saw a short documentary about a town in the U.S. that had to be abandoned by the exact same disaster. Pretty sure it's the event that inspired the setting for Silent Hill, too. ;)
Super excited for the things that are coming down the pipe! Thank you again for sticking with this goofy fic!
Interesting. It was already known that the stables were somehow interconnected, now we know how. Cables seem to be running between the stables to transfer data, as well as emergency power from an unknown source. It wouldn't surprise me if each stable had a server room as redundant backups for the network.
Now for the continuity discrepancies:
In chapter 26, it was established that server 21 was active and that they were receiving responses from "Taffy Tart." But the above paragraph paints the server as dead.
From how Briar and Roach left off in Chapt. 26 it's possible the 'zombie' server may have been 89. But, the previous chapter also makes no mention of them connecting to it. 🤷 Even if 21 is the 'Zombie' server it's confusing there's a 180 and now the server is dead.
The above paragraph adds to the confusion. They recognize the reply but still insist the stable is dead. Now they are saying there is a connection, despite previously saying the connection was destroyed. So either the server and the stable are not dead. Or the stable is dead but the server isn't and acting as a conduit for ponies to send and receive messages.
Glad to see the enclave ALSO performs their maintenance / disassembly with good practices. Again I lament how most of my co-workers just throw bolts every which way then complain when they lose them
WOOO!!! YOU GO GIRL!
Heheeeh, can you guess how I spent my weekend?
From Chapter 17:
From Chapter 19:
From Chapter 23:
From Chapter 24:
Just had to mention this sentence killed me
From Chapter 25:
Was surprised to find everything I caught and more already in the comments, looks like you might have missed this one 10485061
From Chapter 27:
I don't know if it's intentional, but you've used the English spelling three times here, but used the American spelling for the rest of the fic
Stable 21 is the second one they connected to last chapter that was still running, I'd be devastated if anything happened to new-favourite-character Taffy Tart!
I can't tell if there are far fewer typos left overall or I'm just so engaged now I'm hardly noticing them anymore I'm loving both the pre-war and post-war stories, how much of a little shit Crazy Glue and Spitfacist continue to be, how lethally adorable Captain Beans is, how you're integrating the StableSilo, and how many opportunities that server farm presents!