Choice
Sunset woke slowly, blinking the blur out of her eyes and the fog out of her mind. What she saw was... nothing.
Well, not quite nothing. A few wisps of hair had fallen in front of her eyes, so Sunset knew she wasn’t blind, but her surroundings were nothing but a blank white void. Not even gravity seemed to--
Oof. Never mind, gravity existed. Sunset shook her head and rolled to her... hooves?
A quick double check revealed that her real body had been restored, cutie mark, horn, and all. Not that that wasn’t great, but -- where was the transformation of five minutes ago? Where was the Element? What had happened to her? She remembered the magic, how it had burned, how it had cradled her in fire. She remembered how easy it was to conscript her army. She remembered moving to obliterate Twilight, the last obstacle between her and Equestria, and then--
No.
Oh, no.
As if on cue, six equinoid forms walked forward out of the nothingness, resolving themselves into what must have been the proper, pony versions of those disgustingly sappy brats. Fantastic.
Sunset, almost for lack of anything else to do, tried casting a few charges of pure magic their way. To her shock, absolutely nothing happened. She felt the well of magic within her, had guided it to her horn and shaped it through focus and will, and yet--
It was as though she was still trapped in that bipedal, stunted form.
She rounded on the group, which had stopped several feet away from her. “Come to gloat, have you? What have you done to me?”
Twilight regarded her calmly. Sunset stared. Twilight’s eyes were -- they weren’t blank, or flat -- there was clearly life there -- but they were pure white, and glowing slightly. So were the eyes of each of the other five Bearers. It was unsettling, and gave the effect of vastness, like there was no difference between the ponies and the void, and the bodies were simply illusions drawn over parts of it.
“...Twilight?” Sunset tried, in a smaller voice than they had probably ever heard her use.
The thing that looked like Twilight Sparkle smiled gently. “We are not Twilight,” it said. Its voice resonated, but with what, Sunset didn’t know. It also echoed, as though multiple ponies were speaking at once.
Unwilling to venture a guess that might be wrong, Sunset waited.
Not-Twilight eventually gave in. ”Your suspicions are correct. We are the Elements of Harmony, represented by the forms of our Bearers, so that we may communicate with you on a level you understand.”
Oh, lovely. Sunset rolled her eyes. “So, what, you realized I’m not ‘magically going to be friends’” -- she adopted a nasally, mocking voice for the phrase, as though mimicking someone she didn’t like very much -- “like all your other little converts, and you’re keeping me here until I die of boredom? Yeah, thanks but no thanks. Let’s skip to the end and you can either kill me or turn me to stone or whatever right now.” Not that she thought they would, but she was trying to goad them into giving up more information.
The one that looked like Pinkie Pie giggled. “Silly! If you want more information all you have to do is ask!”
Oh no. Also, Not-Pinkie was exactly as annoying as the real one.
”We know what you’re thinking because this exchange is taking place in your mind,” Not-Twilight said, confirming Sunset’s dread. ”We are not Pinkie Pie either; our presentation to you is simply your own projected model of these ponies, in a form that feels more natural to you. We have been doing this for a very long time.”
Sunset sighed and turned around, walking away from the group for a bit before lying down, closing her eyes, and resting her head on her hooves to think. Okay, okay. So: first order of business: get out of here. She could make a more detailed plan after that. Her jailors were experienced, which meant they’d probably seen a lot of attempts before. But... wait. If this was in her own head, then it was just like she was dreaming, right? She just needed to wake up; she doubted the Harmony Brigade had enough juice in them for a double-tap. She could make her physical escape and recoup her losses later.
Falling. People woke up from dreams of falling right before they hit the ground. The only problem with that was the lack of something to fall off of... and the lack of a ground. She wasn’t about to try dying, either. Too many unknowns for that to be anything like a good idea.
“Hoo-ie!” said someone behind her. Sunset grit her teeth. “You sure are goin’ a mile a minute there. I should tell ya y’ain’t gonna get any further than a... city slicker in a... a....” Applejack, or the thing that wasn’t Applejack, trailed off. “Dang, you don’t know nothing about country aphorisms, do ya?”
Sunset smirked. “I don’t think the real Applejack knows what ‘aphorism’ means.”
Not-Applejack shrugged and lay down beside Sunset, coming into her field of view. She thought about getting up and walking further away, but Applejack would only follow her, and there were only so many times she could repeat the stunt before feeling less like a prisoner and more like a sullen foal.
“Good choice,” Applejack said casually.
“Would you stop doing that?!” Sunset snapped. “Stop rooting around in my head and responding to things I haven’t said out loud!”
“Why should I?” Applejack said. “You weren’t thinkin’ like that when you started controlling all those kids’ minds. I reckon they didn’t want you in their heads, neither.”
“So what!? You’re telling me I should care what those little morons think? Why? If you want to be treated as an equal, you have to prove you’re worthy of it. Nobody who can be manipulated that easily deserves to have an opinion about it.”
Applejack frowned. “That’s horseapples and you know it.”
Sunset suppressed a scream of frustration and stood quickly, needing some kind of outlet. Not-Applejack stood with her and put a hoof on her shoulder. “I don’t think--”
Sunset reared and kicked her in the face.
Or, she tried to. Applejack neatly retreated the exact amount of distance she needed to avoid the blow, not fazed in the slightest. “All right, then,” she said. “Ah won’t touch ya.”
Sunset did growl, almost past caring that this was ridiculous. She wouldn’t let herself be bridled and led by the bit wherever the hell these trinkets wanted her to go. She’d spent years trying to get out from under Celestia’s golden hooves.
“Butcha didn’t, did ya?” Applejack pointed out. “If you really wanted to get away from your teacher, you wouldn’t have spent so much time thinkin’ about her. If Celestia really mattered as little to you as you want her to, you wouldn’t flinch every time the principal walks in the room.”
“Shut up!” Sunset snapped. “What do you know?!”
“The truth,” Applejack said steadily. “An’ you know it, too, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You never stopped caring what Celestia thinks. How did you even think your little invasion was gonna go, huh?”
“It was going fine until Little Miss Sparkle showed up,” Sunset said. “If you hadn’t trapped me here--”
“She controls the sun!” Applejack interrupted her. “The only thing that woulda stopped her from crushin’ you is that she knows you!”
Sunset recoiled, and covered it with bitterness. “She used to know me.”
“But you ain’t grown up an inch. You’re still the same little pony you were back then, still looking for validation from someone who ain’t gonna give it to you, you just got a couple more layers of grime on top. You spent four years here without your magic and what did you learn? Nothing!”
“Well, what was I supposed to learn?!” Sunset roared back. “How to be friends with weaklings and, and losers?! How to be happy being someone else’s cast-off? I spent all my life trying to impress the Princess and as soon as I started to find real power she took it away from me! All because she couldn’t handle not being in control of everything!”
“That was dark magic you were messing with, Sunny, and you know it,” Applejack said. “It woulda eaten you up from the inside out and left nothing but a husk, just like it did to Luna. You thought you could control it but it would’ve ended up controllin’ you, sure as the sun rises.”
“No. You’re wrong. I knew what I was doing. And don’t call me that.”
“It don’t matter knowing how hot the fire is if it’s already burnin’ ya. Better ponies than you got turned to ash. Celestia didn't want it to happen to you and you couldn't take her knowing more than you about it.”
Sunset made a disgusted noise. “Your accent's slipping. This is useless. All you want is for me to admit that I’m the villain here, everything is my fault, and nothing I do can ever make up for it.” She turned away, about to start walking in a random direction. She didn’t want to listen to this tripe anymore.
“No. She was wrong.”
Sunset kept walking. Whatever gambit the Elements were trying on her, she wasn't going to let it work. She looked over her shoulder and was satisfied to see Applejack's form growing smaller with distance. Maybe that would be the end of the whole charade.
Pfft. She was wrong. How dumb did they think she was? The Elements were Celestia's; they'd never gainsay her to any significant degree. Sunset shoved the entire train of thought to the side and started brainstorming a way out.
Except... it wouldn't stay shoved. What use was admitting Celestia's fault, to the Elements? To lure her into a false sense of security? What would be the point of that? They had demonstrated, very clearly, that they didn't need to trick or surprise Sunset Shimmer in order to defeat her and do whatever they wanted with her. A wave didn't need to sneak up on a candle.
She was wrong. Well, of course she was. Of course. Sunset knew that, but how and why would the Elements know? No, this was getting her nowhere. Wasting time with confusing nonsense was exactly what they wanted her to do. If it was her mind, could she maybe conjure something to fall off of? Would it work if she was aware of the fall? Was this even like lucid dreaming at all? Ugh. Too many variables.
Which Element was Applejack supposed to be, anyway? The Element of Farming? Apples? The girl's entire life revolved around the fruit as far as Sunset could tell, why not throw in an ancient Equestrian magical artifact. No, that was silly and she knew it. What were the Elements again? Magic, Loyalty, Laughter, uh... Honesty... Niceness? Charity? Something along those lines, anyway.
"The truth." When Sunset had asked, rhetorically, what Applejack knew, that's what she'd said. The truth. That nailed her pretty solidly as Honesty. On the other hoof, that didn't make any sense. She'd obviously lied, or at least misrepresented herself, when she'd told Sunset Celestia had been wrong. Not that she hadn't been, but presumably the Elements didn't think so. Was Sunset an acceptable target for lying, either because she was in opposition to them or for some other reason? That didn't fit with what (admittedly little) she knew about the Elements. You couldn't pick and choose, with them. They weren't smart, they didn't understand nuances. It was all or nothing.
...At least, she thought so. That was how it had felt when she'd put on the tiara. Twilight Sparkle might have been an alicorn, but Sunset was on level with her, magically; otherwise she would have failed miserably at turning the Element to her will. A lot more would have had to have gone wrong for Honesty to be lying to her.
Maybe she had the Element wrong. Nothing said Laughter couldn't lie, however poor a fit that was for Applejack in particular. That was the simplest explanation.
The simplest, but she couldn't convince herself of it.
No. She was getting off track again. She had to keep reminding herself, it was a trick, it was all a setup for them to gloat about their victory and humiliate her so thoroughly she wouldn't try again. She couldn't let them get their hooks in her brain. She was smarter than that.
Sunset stopped walking and scowled at nothing in particular. She looked back. Applejack was exactly as far away as she'd been the last time Sunset had looked.
She was wrong.
Dammit. Glaring, Sunset turned around and trudged back to Applejack, who didn't even have the good grace to look smug about it. “What.”
“She was wrong,” Applejack repeated, like Sunset hadn't just spent a solid ten minutes trying to ditch her. “Least how I reckon. You weren’t tryna take over, or hurt nopony. You just wanted to show her how much you knew, prove that you were ready for somethin’ bigger. Ain’t necessarily your fault the path you picked has a... high turnover rate, so to speak.”
“She’s Celestia. She’s the Princess of Equestria. She isn’t wrong.” Sunset didn’t dare let her glare drop. She swung around again, this time to save herself from embarrassment if her mask slipped.
“She’s a pony.” Applejack’s voice was heartbreakingly soft. No, not Applejack. This thing wasn’t Applejack, it was just using her face and voice to manipulate Sunset. She had to remember that. “She makes mistakes sometimes, same as anypony else. Or are you gonna tell me she was right to leave you here?”
“No, but--” Sunset’s mind was whirling. Somehow, very suddenly, the conversation had gotten away from her, and she was helpless to do anything but be carried along in its wake. “Of course she was wrong, she just wasn’t -- she didn’t--” She was looking down, but her hooves were getting blurry. Was something wrong with her vision? “She moves the sun and moon! She’s supposed to be just, and fair, and k-kind, and all of that! I trusted her!”
Honesty didn’t say anything.
Sunset’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Why would she abandon me if I didn’t deserve to be abandoned?”
A soft sigh. “Oh, sugarcube.” Sunset heard the click of hooves and felt Honesty’s presence along her side. For a second she though the Element would try to touch her, and flinched, but the contact never came. Just a quiet companionship, from the truth she hadn’t known how to face. “I don’t know, hon. I think you’re gonna have to ask her that yourself, someday.”
Sunset squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the few tears that fell onto the nothingness beneath her. “Fat chance of that,” she said. “Since I’m never getting out of here.”
No response. When she looked around, Honesty was gone. Sunset was alone again.
Was that it? Did the Elements just want to interrogate her and play with her insecurities? What was even the point of that? Did they want her to admit she’d made mistakes? Honesty was right; even when she’d first started channelling that dark magic, she’d felt its corrosion. She’d just been so caught up in her need to prove herself that it hadn’t mattered. And then, as she kept using it, it mattered less and less. Only power remained.
“Hi!”
“Gah!” Sunset yelped. Instinctively, she tried to blast whatever had surprised her, but of course nothing happened. She had to settle for glaring at Not-Pinkie while she tried to calm her galloping heart.
“You look like you need some cheering up!” Pinkie chirped.
Like Path Love’s dogs hearing a bell, Sunset’s mood immediately plummeted. She so did not need this right now. This version of Pinkie Pie was somehow even creepier than normal.
Not-Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “How come you have such a problem with Pinkie?” she wondered. “She’s so much fun!”
Sunset rolled her eyes. Here they went. “Because she won’t go away,” she growled.
“Silly!” Not-Pinkie giggled. “Of course I’m not gonna take the hint! I’m, like, the Princess of Not Taking Hints! Ooh, do you think they give out wings for that?” She twisted to see her own back, as though she would sprout them then and there.
“Yeah, I think I see some over there,” Sunset deadpanned, pointing into the distance.
“Wow, really?!” The Pinkie-puppet bounced away and abruptly disappeared. Sunset heaved a sigh. Good riddance.
She turned around and immediately came snout-to-snout with another Pinkie Pie. “Ack!”
“I didn’t see any wings,” Not-Pinkie said cheerfully. “But I found these!” She held up a bouquet.
Sunset barely kept from tripping over her own hooves in her haste to stumble backwards. Once she had her footing, she brought one hoof up to massage her temple. “How did you even -- no, never mind, I don’t want to know."
“How I got behind you or how I found a bouquet?”
“Either.” Was this her punishment? No one deserved this. What was the advice? Ignore them and they'll stop bothering you? Yeah, right, like that ever worked. Then again, Pinkie had the attention span of a housefly. If Sunset just didn't give her anything to work with, maybe she'd go away.
"I won't go away," Pinkie said, still affable. Sunset inhaled, exhaled, stared straight ahead, and didn't respond. "Well, that's not very friendly. I guess I'll have to hold up the conversation all by myself! Don't worry, even your version of Pinkie can talk for hours. She might even have more energy than the real Pinkie! What should I talk about?" She paused for Sunset's response, which the latter didn't provide. "Man, I bet you're fun at parties. Oh, that reminds me! Okay, so this one time I was putting together a silent auction for--"
"Fine," Sunset snapped. She was pretty sure she knew the rest of the story. "What do you even want?"
"I want to talk to you!" Pinkie said promptly.
Sunset tried not to just hit Pinkie in the face. It wouldn't work anyway. "I know that, idiot," she said, very slowly, as though speaking to an oblivious small child. "What else do you want? How do I make you leave me alone?"
Pinkie frowned like she was actually hurt. "'Idiot' isn't a very nice thing to call somepony."
"Yes," Sunset ground out. "That is the point."
“How come you’re such a frowny-pants?” Pinkie wanted to know.
“I’m not,” Sunset said, giving up on ever getting rid of the walking, talking headache. “I just had work to do.”
“You are,” Pinkie insisted. “When’s the last time you laughed? No, really laughed,” she said, before Sunset could do more than open her mouth. “Not because someone else got hurt, or because one of your plans was working out, or because you were pretending to. When’s the last time you laughed just because you were happy?”
A long silence stretched between them. Sunset had had an answer ready -- the last time she'd laughed was just before the Elements had trapped her here, or during her conversation with Honesty, depending on how you counted it -- but the first had been a simple release of tension, the latter for effect. She was unpleasantly surprised to discover she actually couldn't remember the last time she'd just... had fun. Smiled. Laughed.
She sneered to cover the lapse. It felt too fragile. "Who cares?”
“I care,” Pinkie said, as if that were enough.
“Why?” Sunset blurted out, frustrated. “You don’t even like me! Or the real Pinkie doesn’t, anyway.”
“She doesn’t? How do you know?”
“Because no one likes me,” Sunset said flatly. She swallowed when she realized what she’d said, but she didn’t back down. It was true.
“What about Snips and Snails?”
“Those two don’t like me, they like my breasts and my attention. If I hadn’t gotten them Trixie probably would have scooped them up and they wouldn’t even act any different. Their combined IQ is lower than the ambient temperature.”
Pinkie looked genuinely curious. “Then why do you hang out with them?”
Sunset couldn’t believe she had to explain this. “I don’t. I use them to get what I want because they’re stupidly easy to manipulate. Most horny teenage boys are. They’re tools, not friends. If I actually made friends with them my reputation would tank so fast Granny Smith’s head would spin.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that anymore,” Pinkie said. Her tone was so casual Sunset actually did a double-take when she processed the words. “What’s wrong with making friends?”
Sunset felt the urge to hit her head on something, but there was nothing else around besides Pinkie. “Nothing, as long as you don’t slip up. Allies make you strong. Friends make you weak.”
Pinkie tapped one hoof on her chin, thinking. “But you’re in here, and Twilight and her friends are out there. You lost. If friends make you weak, shouldn’t you have won?”
“I did win,” Sunset said through gritted teeth. “You were there. I got what I wanted and Twinkletoes couldn’t do anything about it. I’m only here because they pulled the Elements out of thin air in some deus ex machina bull--”
“Sure, you won for a minute or two.” Pinkie shrugged. “But it was you who wanted to play for keeps. You don’t get to change your mind now that it didn’t work out. If you’d had friends, you could have won Homecoming Queen in the first place and Twilight wouldn’t have ever been a problem.”
Sunset glared. “Is that what you want? To gloat?”
“No,” Pinkie said. “I want to know why you won’t let yourself be happy.”
“Because the world is cruel!” Sunset yelled. “Because life is harsh and you have to protect yourself from getting hurt! Because no one else will do that for you! All friends are are people who want to take advantage of you, and you’re just supposed to let them! You can’t just stick your head in the sand and ignore the bad things that happen just because you want to be happy! It doesn’t work like that!”
Laughter fixed her with a sad, sympathetic look. “Did you see what Twilight Sparkle’s friends did, right before they called on the Elements?”
Sunset blinked, thrown off at the apparent subject change. “What?”
“When you tried to hurt Twilight. None of them knew the Elements even existed. They could have died, but they threw themselves between her and your fireball, because they’re her friends.”
Sunset screwed her eyes shut and shook her head, almost involuntarily. “No,” she said. “No, no.”
“They protected her,” Laughter continued relentlessly. “Twilight Sparkle is alive because she has friends. You're here because you don’t.”
“Twilight has friends because she’s special!” Sunset shouted. “Twilight has friends she can rely on, Twilight has friends that even magic says will be there for her, Twilight’s friends will never betray her or give up on her! Twilight is foalish and naive and she gets to be because she’s a good pony! And I’m not!”
Silence. Sunset was panting, breathing ragged.
“I’m sorry you think that,” Laughter said. “I think you could be, if you let yourself.”
When Sunset opened her eyes, the second Element was gone.
Sunset sat down heavily. Did she really think she wasn’t a good person? Well, why not? That was what everyone else thought, wasn’t it? Good people didn’t turn friend groups against each other for the sake of getting to the top. Good people didn’t do a lot of things that Sunset had done.
“Sup,” said a voice from behind her.
Sunset turned, and saw Rainbow Dash. “Ugh. What do you want?” she said, too drained to try for anything more subtle than that.
Not-Rainbow shrugged. “Just to talk. How you holding up?”
“Seriously?” Sunset asked her.
“Yeah, why not?”
“Can’t you just ask the other... parts of yourself?”
The Rainbow thing shrugged again. “Yeah, but that sounded pretty intense, to be honest.”
“You’re not Honesty, I already met her,” Sunset grumbled. She turned away from Rainbow and laid down fully. “Can you just... give me a minute?”
“Sure.”
Vaguely surprised that the Element wasn’t going to keep hounding her, Sunset rested her head on her hooves and just breathed. She felt like she’d been scraped raw, like she’d had three legs knocked out from under her and was wobbling dangerously on the fourth.
“What’s the point of this?” she asked. “Not -- I don’t mean what does Rainbow Dash think is the point of this, I mean, without pretending to be a pony, what do you want from me?”
“Harmony,” Not-Rainbow said. “Internal and external. We want an end to pain. We want honesty, laughter, loyalty, generosity, and kindness to bloom in the garden of hearts. We want to remedy the imbalance we sense in you, that has made you a threat to others.”
Sunset picked her head up. “Can’t I just promise I’ll be good and you can let me go?”
“No.”
“Yeah, I figured.” She lapsed into silence, and the Element-gestalt let her. After a minute she said, “Can you just tell me the lesson you want me to learn here and get it over with?”
“Not really,” the thing said, in Rainbow’s voice again.
“Let me guess, it doesn’t work like that?”
“Kinda. That and it’s hard to learn about loyalty if you don’t have anything to be loyal to.”
Sunset flinched. “Well, then, great, go away.”
“I said it was hard, I didn’t say you had nothing to learn. Why’d you betray Celestia?”
Sunset lurched upright and spun to face Not-Rainbow, gaping. “Wha--?! Why did I -- if anything she betrayed me!”
“Yeah, and she saved her country and millions of lives when she did. What’d you do it for? A crown?”
“I didn’t betray her,” Sunset snarled. “Just because she wanted to forbid me from learning after she told me I should learn as much as I could--”
“You made a promise and you broke it,” Rainbow said bluntly. “Sounds like betrayal to me.”
“Okay, no, that’s ridiculous.” Sunset scoffed. “What, every time someone flakes out on taking care of their buddy’s pet fish or whatever it’s a betrayal?”
“You meant it,” Rainbow continued, undeterred. “You promised her you wouldn’t keep studying out of that book without her and you looked into her eyes and you meant it. And then you did it anyway.”
“Not right away,” Sunset argued. “Only once I figured out she was holding me back.”
“Yeah? She’s three thousand years old. You think she’d just deny you something you wanted for no reason?”
“Honesty said she was wrong.”
“And you said it yourself: I’m not Honesty. I don’t care if she was wrong. I’m not talking to her. I’m talking to you. And you’ve got this little ball of resentment right in the middle of you that justifies everything you do, no matter what it is, because even if nobody’s betrayed you yet it’s only a matter of time, right? And as long as you keep holding on to that little ball it’s just gonna get bigger and bigger until one day it chokes you to death.”
“So what do you want me to do about it?” Sunset snapped. “La dee da, pull the wool back over my eyes? Everyone looks out for themselves. I’m no different.”
“But you don’t, do you?” Rainbow said. “You sabotage yourself. You make terrible plans. Why not just steal the crown outright? Why bother with the homecoming nonsense? Literally cutting and pasting pictures to frame Twilight? That’s stupid. Vice Principal Luna only believed it because she knew something was up with the new student and she was willing to overlook the source of the information to find out what it was. You’re smart, Sunset, this kind of thing should be way below your level.”
“I... I....”
“That’s your problem, isn’t it? You’re not even loyal to yourself.”
Sunset reared back as though she’d been slapped. “Excuse me?!”
“That’s why you can’t get your act together. That’s why everything you try to build up falls apart as soon as you let go. There’s a little part of you that knows what you’re doing is wrong, and it hates you for it. And so you just get stuck in a tug-of-war between that ball of resentment and your withered little conscience and nothing you do ever turns out right.”
“What does this have to do with loyalty?” Sunset snapped, exasperated.
“What do you think?” Rainbow fired back. “Rainbow Dash is barely a person in your head and she's still smarter than you! She knows you can't build a house during the day if you spend all night pulling it down. You can have the resentment, or you can have the conscience, but you gotta pick one and stick with it! You can’t be bitter and selfish and powerful if you regret what you did to get there!”
Sunset just stared, then dropped her gaze. There was a door in the back of her mind, and a revelation was beating it down. Or maybe there were two paths in front of her, and she could decide which one to take, or some other metaphor. She saw, clearly, what Loyalty meant, how she’d been deceiving herself into thinking her own actions wouldn’t affect her. That she could get her revenge on Celestia and be perfectly happy afterwards. But it didn’t work like that, did it? She couldn’t keep on harboring reservations one way or the other. And that resentment... that was a dark, lonely choice.
She shivered and looked around. As she’d suspected, Loyalty had vanished at her moment of realization. So who was next? Twilight, Rarity, or Fluttershy? She kind of hoped it would be Fluttershy. She could use a break.
But it was Rarity who trotted up to her. “Oh, there you are, darling,” she said, like they’d gotten separated in the mall or something. “I have been looking forward to speaking with you.”
“Of course you have,” Sunset said. “Let me guess, I need to be either kinder or more giving. Something something charity something something what goes around comes around ‘tis better to give than to receive blah blah blah.”
“Oh, well, save some of the proselytizing for me, dear,” Rarity said, pretending offense.
Sunset snorted, and was a little startled to realize that it was because she’d found Rarity’s performance funny, rather than as an expression of contempt. While she was blinking over that concept, Rarity said, “I’d imagine you’re getting rather tired of all this....” She looked around. “This bland white nonsense. Why don’t I add in some variation?” And there were two sofas in front of them, sitting facing each other across an elegant coffee table.
Rarity climbed onto one, and, not knowing what else to do, Sunset awkwardly took the other. This was... different. She wondered what Rarity wanted out of her.
“Oh, nothing, really, just a chance to talk more comfortably than we would have been standing.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Nice try. You’re obviously trying to butter me up.”
Rarity looked almost disturbed. “Not at all. Can’t a pony be nice without any ulterior motives?”
“No,” Sunset said flatly. “And you do have ulterior motives.”
“Well, I was hoping you wouldn’t remember that detail. But the sentiment still holds. I simply enjoy making others’ lives more pleasant.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Let’s skip the crap. My guess is you're Generosity. If you gave away everything you had you’d be screwed.”
“Who says I have to give away everything?”
“Isn’t that what generosity is? Giving other people the coat off your back in the middle of winter?”
“It can be, but only as long as you can get yourself another coat. You must take care of yourself, too.”
Sunset snorted, and this time it wasn’t in mirth. “Never thought I’d hear the Element of Generosity telling me to be selfish. I thought that was what got me into this mess.”
Rarity cocked her head, reminding Sunset strongly of Pinkie for a moment. “Why do you think that taking care of yourself must entail selfishness?” she said.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Indulge me, if you would.”
If Sunset kept rolling her eyes like this they were going to get stuck in the back of her head. “Because it’s my self. That’s what selfishness is. It’s even in the word. Besides, I don’t want to be indebted to you. I know ‘no strings attached’ is a lie. Everyone always wants something. Or are you here to convince me employers pay their workers money out of the goodness of their hearts?”
Rarity set her teacup back in its saucer. Sunset didn’t know where she’d gotten either. “No, of course not. Employers pay their employees because they’ve both agreed to an exchange of labor for goods, or in this case currency. I’m not talking about contracts, I’m talking about gifts. Hasn’t anyone ever gotten you anything for Hearth’s Warming?”
“Yeah, but that’s a tradition,” Sunset pointed out. “Everyone expects you to do that, and you have to get gifts for a bunch of other people too. It all comes out even.”
“Hmm,” Rarity said. “Did you know that if you ask someone to do you a favor, and they do it, they’re more inclined to like you?”
“I -- what?”
“It’s because they don’t think of themselves as the kind of person who would help out someone they disliked. And since they’ve already helped you, well then, that side of the equation can’t be changed, so what else is there to do but think of you more favorably?”
Sunset shook her head. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“And yet it’s true. Doing ten favors for someone else won’t endear you nearly as much to them as getting them to do one favor for you. Being generous makes you think of yourself as a good person, far more than being given a gift makes you think highly of someone else.” Rarity paused. “Of course, if you take advantage of their generosity over and over, and never repay it, eventually they’ll sour on the idea. So it only works a few times before you have to start holding up your end of the bargain.”
“Yeah, and then you’re stuck,” Sunset said. “That’s exactly what I don’t want.”
“Why not?”
“How are you this boneheaded? I don’t want to owe anyone anything. That’s the only way I can control what I do and how I do it.”
“What about the opportunities you miss, then?”
Sunset knew she was walking right into a trap, but she couldn’t not ask. “What do you mean?”
“Would you ever have become Celestia’s student if not for her generosity? Would you ever have been in a position to steal the crown if not for the generosity of the school here?”
“So basically what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t be afraid to play other people for suckers.”
Rarity pursed her lips. “Your reluctance to do so may be what saves you, in the end. Your former enemies will give you a second chance. They may not be so willing to give you a fourth or fifth. Accepting generosity means nothing if you don’t return it.”
“Why should I?”
“Well, you said it yourself, didn’t you? Nobody likes you. You’re rude, petty, spiteful, selfish, and downright mean-spirited. Aren’t you lonely?”
Sunset bit her lip and looked down. “...Yes,” she admitted.
“Generosity doesn’t mean exhausting yourself to raise others up. It means giving what you can, when you can, and trusting that others will help you in turn. I’ll give you that one for free.” Sunset glanced up, startled, and Rarity winked.
She looked back down at her hooves. “But that’s hard,” she found herself saying. “It’s safe being alone.”
“It is. It’s scary, when you rely on people other than yourself. You have to trust that they’ll repay your generosity.”
“What if they don’t?” Sunset said, barely moving her lips.
“Then you lose trust in them. And that’s a hard thing to do, but it won’t be the end of the world. You’ll have others to pick up the slack; they’ll notice, and they won’t let you fall into the dark.”
“But I have to let them in first,” Sunset murmured. Her hooves were getting blurry again. She shut her eyes and laid her head down on top of her forelegs, knowing that Generosity was no longer sitting next to her. That left Kindness.
Instead of hearing someone, Sunset felt a hoof gently stroking the top of her head. She curled into herself and cried. She'd been right to begin with, in a way. The Elements wanted her here to make sure their victory was certain. She'd expected them to belittle her, to mock her, to present her with irrefutable evidence of her flaws, and they had. She just hadn't expected them to be right.
No, that wasn't true. They were in her mind. There was no guesswork where the Elements were concerned. What she hadn't expected was that they would pretend to care.
"I'm not pretending," Kindness said softly. Sunset flinched away, then couldn't stop herself from moving back, seeking comfort. She hadn't been held like this since... since she'd run. No, longer. Since she'd started lying to Celestia. It was all her fault, wasn't it? Everything that had happened, she'd brought down on herself, and the rubble of her life had pushed her past any gentler breaking point. Now she was faced with a stark choice: either she could own up to what she'd done, stop pretending that other people didn't matter, and try to salvage what was left, or she could die. Whether or not the Elements would kill her was immaterial. If she refused to let herself grow and change, she'd die just as surely as if they had.
She knew, without having to be told, that this was what would determine her freedom. The other lessons -- she’d needed them, but they hadn’t been vital, not like this one was. They wouldn’t have broken her, if she’d failed to understand.
Because, as Sunset was slowly realizing, like gleaming metal emerging from under rust, she was going to have to do this again. And again, and again, and again, until she didn’t need to be reminded that what she’d learned was wrong, until friendship and its virtues came as easy as breathing. And it would be hard, and there would be times she wanted to quit, to throw it all away and go back to this simple, bleak life where she trusted no one and no one trusted her.
And every time, she was going to have to make this choice. Again, and again, and again. And it would be just as hard as it was now, the first few times, but there was a future where it practically wasn’t a choice at all. Sunset wanted that future so badly it felt like it was tearing a hole in her heart.
“Yes,” she said, to Kindness, to the Elements, to the question she didn’t know she was being asked. “Yes. Please, yes.”
There was a sensation like someone kissing her forehead, right where her horn should have been, and this time when Sunset opened her eyes she saw dirt and the ruins of pavement around her, and above her the people she’d mistreated, gazes cold.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, pled, begged. “I’m so sorry.” She looked, and there was one face still smiling at her, patient, forgiving. Twilight Sparkle held out her hand.
Sunset reached out, and let Friendship lift her up.
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Wish there was a little more of kindness but at the same time that was wonderful. ^~^
This was really, really good. A very sweet story. Reading stories about lots of characters and alternate universes and crossovers are nice and all but this story was starkly different from the usual, highlighting only how Sunset realized the values that she abandoned in her life and became worse in many ways as a result, and how this realization changed her. Good stuff.
This was so good.
I was kind of trepidation about reading this, because I've seen so many fics that flopped on the execution of this concept. But I'm so glad I read this one. It's interesting, heartfelt, and feels honest, rather than overly melodramatic l. Favorited.
9478249
There was one which horrified me: the Elements literally erased the "corrupted" parts of Sunset souls, replacing them which others taken from the Bearers. They essentially murdered Shimmer and used her remains to craft another, friendlier copy.
For a long time I've wanted to write something similar, although not exactly with Sunset. Every time, I struggled with what would be the setting, how it would progress, etc. I'm happy I don't have to worry about that, because the message I wanted to explore in that hypothetical story has been thoroughly and proficiently investigated here, I'd say better than I could have. So thank you for this story, I love it.
Wow. This was pretty incredible.
I've had my own idea of how Sunset lost a lot of her hatred.
This one is different from my idea, but it works pretty well.
There's nothing more entertaining than watching a bunch of characters sit around and wax philosophic after all the exciting things have happened prior to the actual story
9478069
To be totally honest with you, neither my nor Sunset Shimmer's model of Fluttershy is up for rigorous philosophic debate, and I didn't want Sunny to heal and regain her equilibrium too much before she got spat back out to the real world, both for reasons of continuity and because she needs outside input to cement the change. Most of what Flutters would have said was either covered by the others, something Sunset would consider cliche if said out loud, or tonally inconsistent (be kind to yourself, kindness isn't weakness, it's not necessarily your fault if other people are mean to you but that doesn't mean you get to be a jerk right back, there is no such thing as karma, etc). So Kindness kind of gets the short end of the stick here. I'm glad you liked it, though! All these comments mean a lot to me. :)
I loved this! Well done. A beautifully written character piece that fits perfectly with the end of the first EQG.
This is easily one of the best Sunset stories I've read. You should be proud of yourself.
Thank you for sharing this story.
9478700
I don't think it's the short end of the stick at all. The way you portrayed Kindness shows that there are some feelings that can't be described, only experienced. It was a fantastic "last straw" moment.
This was really well-done, quite excellent work. I liked the progression of the Elements and the order that they went in, and I liked the way it all wrapped up at the conclusion.
9478350
I mean, that wouldn't be bad horror.
This was really good.
A nice story about what being blasted by a rainbow laser would be like. The only thing I would have liked to have seen is for Sunset to have been trapped longer. She has been nursing that anger for years and a few conversations wouldn’t likely change much, but having her stuck, frozen in time as her defenses and self delusions get slowly eroded away would have had a bigger impact.
I'd have been a little bit more impressed with the Elements if they hadn't had root access to her mind throughout this little endeavor. Psychological manipulation is so much easier with a cheat sheet handy, so much so that one can't help but expect it. Cynical assumptions of brainwashing aside, nicely written.
I love a well written scene that was never there but should have been kind of story. This was great!
Hot damn. This spends 6,000 words carefully setting up a chain of dominoes that it then takes all of three words to knock down. This fills in a gap in canon I didn't even know I needed fixed, and it's on point throughout.
There's a lot of trash that makes the feature box. This, on the other hoof, is entirely worthy. Well done!
9479912
Congratulations, you're correct! Everything the Elements say, Sunset already knows and is in denial about (or in the case of Rarity's trivia, heard once and then forgot about -- I stole it from Ben Franklin, myself). The Elements aren't people and they can't offer her anything new or tell her anything she doesn't know. That's why they don't just keep her until she's 100% reformed, and it's why they turned Discord to stone instead of trying this rigmarole with him. He didn't understand what he was doing was wrong because he didn't have the concepts to attach his actions to. Sunset does, so she gets this incredibly laser-focused mirror held up to her and a real hard look at whether she likes what she sees. It's the interactions afterward, with real people and real friends and things Sunset doesn't already know, that make the real difference. You can put a seed in a box of dirt, but until you let in the light and the rain, it'll never grow.
ETA: This is also my excuse for why Rainbow's dialogue sounds a little weird. Sunset doesn't know her as well.
9479772
To be honest, this was supposed to be a lot longer when I originally outlined it, but when I got around to actually writing it the extra time would have just been basically repetitions of this. Which is more realistic, but also, not very interesting, especially with no set and no plot, and I didn't want her to wind up with like three months' worth of memories that never happened. So the Elements are kind of dumb and this is kind of short and it's made obvious that this is not going to be the be all end all of Sunset's reformation, not by a long shot.
This was great. It is an amazing interpretation of the elemental power and what they truly represent.
Is "Path Love" supposed to be a pony name for Pavlov?
9482277
Yep! I figured it was clear enough from context, and I kind of like the sort of "path as metaphor for classical conditioning" thing it's got going.
This can definitely explain Sunset's willingness to accept Twilight and her friends. As well as her waterworks.
This is really good, nice job
9478700
I saw fluttershy as the turnkey in this. This one stays quiet and allows her to process everything and to bring it in emotionally before finally telling her that she feels this way in truth.
She was the one who helped more with moving on into acceptance.
Cause im seeing the stages of grief here
9478421
Its weird how 'The Source' makes for an excellent stage for the mind.
That may be the best rationale for that scene that I've ever seen.
In any case, brilliant work with both the Elements and Sunset. I'm a huge sucker for stories set in a mindscape, and this was one of the better ones I've encountered. Thank you for a deeper look at the Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything, Single Element Edition.
oh my god
You really nailed every single facet of this concept! And not only explored Sunset's character, but the meaning of the Elements? This was powerful, well done! :D
...dang it, where's that clip of riotous clapping when I need it?
In all seriousness, this is a fantastic story. I've had it in my head for a long time that Sunset went through something like this, but the way you presented it here is excellent. Well done.
So to be clear...this is what happens as soon as she gets blasted with the harmony rainbow. In the real world, this only takes place over like five seconds, but here it’s like an hour. And this is what caused her to be so repentant and sobbing when she came out of the crater.
EDIT: Okay, I read it, and it looks like it is. And btw: THIS STORY IS AMAZING! And this actually gave me a new perspective on the elements too: all of them-generosity, honesty, laughter, kindness, loyalty- they’re a two way street. Both people have to give and receive when it comes to them if they want to be true friends. And if one doesn’t give, leaving the other to pick up the slack, the former becomes like Sunset, without any friends. I knew that trust/honesty was a two-way-street, I just never thought to apply it to the others!
This story is awesome. You are awesome. Sunset is best human. That is all.
This is brilliant. A pitch perfect character study, propped up by amazing characterization.
I was just about to comment, but then I saw 9531122. That comment pretty much encapsulates it. In other words, this story is utterly beautiful.
Outstanding writing. Demonstrates an understanding of what the Elements stand for at a much deeper level than can be explored in the show.
Wow. What more can I say?
Lol
That was a nice fanfic addressing one of the more abrupt turnarounds in the series. Good and logical progression. Nice how Sunset didn't stay at a consistent level of hostility but was gradually disarmed, and nice how it made the point that even for everything she did Sunset wasn't "rotten to her core" but had gotten to a cognitive dissonant point where she knew, deep down inside, she was wrong but had made herself numb to it; which considering how much she turned around is important.
I had a bit of a minor issue with the ending, but seeing as I made the same mistake in my own fanfiction regarding Sunset Shimmer it's not really a big deal. That's that Sunset seemed a bit discouraged at the end. There was this great video essay by Silver Quill in which he pointed out the one character trait the "evil" Sunset Shimmer has in common with the "good" Sunset Shimmer is that they are both competitive to the point where they embrace challenge to prove themselves "better" (which explains why Sunset decided to try turning over a new leaf in the midst of the very individuals she bullied/enslaved).
But like I said, really minor. Great fanfiction and great work. Awesome job.
I think everyone else already described how good this story was in great and sesquipedalian detail, so I'll just say this:
This may not have been flashy or exciting, but it was deep, amazingly so.
The loneliness part in particular reminded me of this:
Well done. I can’t say anymore than what has already been said.
Now if you can write an anon-a-miss short in direct to this story. I would love to see how those feelings would be tackled. I would say Rainbow Rocks but the Main 6 were affected by magic and not themselves. I know people are probably tired of hearing about anon-a-miss, but I find it quite a realistic setting for someone who haven’t been friends for long.
Anyways, keep on writing.
Very nice story, I still wish Sunset would’ve stayed a villian though.
Now I'm wondering if Nightmare Moon went through a similar mental friendship lesson before turning back into Luna. And did the elements try something similar with Discord but just failed because . . . well, he's Discord?
You've certainly opened up a very interesting can of worms friend. I'd love to see some sequels tackling the other villains reformations.
9566606
So, I thought about doing a side-quel of sorts for Nightmare Moon, but essentially couldn't make it work with the rules I'd set up for the Elements. I'm a fan of the theory that NMM was more than just Luna getting mad; either a mental illness or a foreign influence, or, likely, both. That already sets up a much different dynamic than what we see with Sunset, who is basically a kid who got in over her head, got burned, and tried to compensate by being the toughest, scariest thing around because the alternative was to accept that she was hurting and let herself feel the pain.
The other reason I didn't do it was just a total lack of material. The first time Nightmare's hit with the Elements, their only conduit is Celestia, which explains why that went as well as it did. The second time, it's the Bearers, who Luna doesn't know from a hole in the ground. Technically, this wouldn't be a problem, but writing it, they'd all seem wildly out of character, because the whole thing's happening in Luna's mind and drawing on only her own knowledge, experiences, and impressions.
(The above, incidentally, is why the Elements never worked on Discord. They don't really do anything mind-melting; pretty much the extent of their power is to force someone to stop and listen. They can get into someone's mind, but they can't actually change it anything other than the old-fashioned way. And, of course, trying to persuade Discord to be friendlier is like telling a frog to work on its penmanship. Until Fluttershy, his only relationships had been antagonistic and/or superficial.)
(Also also, the events of the s9 opener still fit in this model of the Elements. Sombra's just very, very good at doublethink. Why do you think his whole thing is mind control?)
Your story brought me to tears.
Very well written!
What I loved most about Long Road to Friendship was how it shows Sunset growing from self-centered bully to someone likable.
Imo this story does it just as well. Never would've thought that could work in a short story.
This is awesome. That moment at the end of EqG always did seem quite abrupt, but it's like the RCL said: I never realised I needed a fixfic for "how the Elements redeem their targets" until this came along. Really moving and satisfying psychological explanation and emotional journey. (And I think Kindness's spot is exactly as long as it needs to be.) Thank you for writing this!
Man, re-reading this reminded me why I loved it so damn much: this is fucking amazing. I’m not really well suited, nor am I well positioned, to write a whole amateur review about what makes this so good, but you did a whole lot right.
For someone who wanted power im suprised Sunset wasnt more spiteful about being beaten by a greater power, again, and i coundnt really get into this after the laughter intervention cause there are alot of people out there who are genuinely happy when there supposed enemies suffer.
Alot of people out there really dont care about morals at all and see the gain of money and power as fufillment in there life.
Its been awhile since ive seen that first movie so i believe there was moments showing Sunset as a good person who got the wrong ideas in her head but the first couple of paragraphs show shes still in the mindset of conquer, of shot first and maybe think about it later.
But i guess if she was the elements wouldn't have bothered and just vaporized her, the elements recognizing a valuable ally who only needed some manipulation, brow beat her into oblivion and what was left is what we got