• Member Since 14th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Incredible Blunderbolt


A retired FIMFiction veteran who's been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt, kid.

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Source

While tearfully repairing the wall she destroyed, Sunset Shimmer can't help but reflect on what a horrible person she is. Convinced she'll never be forgiven by her peers, and unsure if she's even worthy of it, she's visited in the night by one of the last people she expected.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 52 )

Absolutely adorable, and great backstory for Human Dash! Reminds me of a quote, this.

"If there is a hand reaching for help, and I don't reach out my hand when I can, the regret would make me wish I were dead... I reach out my hand, because I don't want that."

Welcome back, Blundy. It's been entirely too long :twilightsmile:

Downvoted for no lesbian kissing.

Well that was a pleasant surprise. I'm really glad I gave this a shot. This was wonderful.

well done to you on this very fine story.

I love it! :fluttercry::heart:

Well, this is Headcanon now. :twilightsmile:

9408047
...I'm not joshing here, but I'm honestly worried for that meme guy; looks like he's having a goddamn heart attack. I know that's the whole point of the meme, but heart attacks are quite serious; hope the real dude's okay. Quite old too, which makes it worse.

I agree with the meme itself, but...ugh. 'Old guy having a myocardial infarction' isn't something I believe should be joked about, is all.

9407279
Do we need that? Especially when there's no romantic chemistry here? I mean, sure, Rainbow's agreed to be Sunset's friend and spend time helping her, but she doesn't know Sunset's past in any great detail, and they've only just met on friendly terms - only just 'turned over a new leaf', as they say. Definitely no romance here, yet.

9407141
What story's that from? Sounds potentially interesting.

Very nice, though the school would be in bigger trouble by attempting to repair a public structure without certified professionals being involved.

9408088
I do not agree with that image, not all stories need lesbians, that would get annoying really fast

9408064
Actually a quote from Eiji Hino, the lead of Kamen Rider OOO. Basically sums up his philosophy right there.

9408141
Exactly; there are stories where it's warranted, but that's mostly straight-up 'Romance' or 'Sex' or 'Fetish' stories, and even then not all of them (some stories have the far more common and traditional straight relationships).
Like with everything, forcing lesbian relationships into a story into which it doesn't belong only serves to reduce the story's overall quality, as it will stand out like a sore thumb. It's like forcing a man into a beauty contest, or a woman into the army; neither of them belong there (for various reasons), and will only reduce the contest's or army's quality and effectiveness.

Plus, not all of us are interested in lesbian relationships. Some of us prefer it when a male dominates a female, and prefer not having a dick on a mare (unnatural and usurping the stallion's role).

9408711
Very few of us care what you're interested in, yet you insist on posting it. If you want to express your hetfag ideas, write your own story. I can assure you it would be improved by adding more lesbians though.

9408869
There are very few stories that cannot be improved by adding lesbian ponies.

9408711
I agree with everything you said exept for the part with women in the military, they can be in the military if they want to

Comment posted by Zapper Frost deleted Jan 17th, 2019

9407175
Thanks! It really is nice to be back. I'm excited to see what comes next.

9407141
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9407768
Thanks! I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Also, I love that this story, in which masonry features so heavily, was first commented on by somebody with a username like yours, Bricklayer.

9407279
Well, obviously Dash brought her home when they were done. ;)
But seriously, I was sorely tempted to actually make this a SunnyD. It just didn't fit, though. It's a story about friendship and acceptance. Feelings that are more than that really didn't belong. If you look closely, though, and read between the lines, you might see the beginnings Sunny developing a bit of a crush~

Of course, the story's finished, so interpret it however you will.

9408711
I... Wow. You know, when I was first reading your comment, I found myself nodding along with you for about the first half-sentence—right up until you insinuated that being a lesbian is a "fetish." And then you just devolved into sexism and homophobia from there. I've personally written dozens of lesbian stories, and I've assisted with dozens more. I'm currently working on original fiction in which a lesbian is the main protagonist, and none of my stories have fetishized it in any way. I have several friends, whom I cherish, who happen to be lesbian, and some of them, like Cryo, have served in the army. Even the women on my department are far more combat ready than most of the men that I meet, so your assertion that they're a detriment to the service is not only bigoted but grossly misinformed. I'm asking as a medical professional now, what exactly is it about being female that makes a person a liability in combat? Because it seems to me that the biggest, most glaring weakness of the male form is fundamentally absent from female anatomy. And sure, generally speaking, males have a proportionate predisposition for muscle mass and hematocrit, but any fighter worth their salt will tell you that intelligence matters far more than size or brute strength.

You can have your own preferences as much as you like, but understand that others are entitled to theirs, and some of them aren't even a choice.

9408869
9408882
Alas, I have deviated from the accepted flowchart, but I shan't for long. There's even a RariDash competition that just got announced on Tumblr.

These two are my favorite pair of sisters.

9409031
The irony has struck me just now...

Very heartwarming - nice story!

9408507
Eiji said it, but I feel it could apply to all lead Kamen Riders. In one way or another.

9409031

right up until you insinuated that being a lesbian is a "fetish."

It can be a 'fetish'; I'm not homosexual, but I do enjoy seeing F/F on occasion - if it naturally fits the story and is well-executed. Same with all my other fetishes, which can be done F/F but I prefer M/F. If it's not done well, or it doesn't fit, these can become awkward instead of fetishistic.

Also not discounting lesbian people as a whole - just saying that forcing in a Rainbow/Sunset kissing and/or sex scene in this fantastic story would be unnecessary, stand out like a sore thumb (because Sunset doesn't truly know Rainbow and vice-versa, this soon after Sunset's defeat), and would lower the quality of this story. That's all I meant by it, I swear.

Even the women on my department are far more combat ready than most of the men that I meet, so your assertion that they're a detriment to the service is not only bigoted but grossly misinformed

Sure, they can be, I'll grant that. There were also several well-trained women in my old Taekwondo classes. But men, as civilisation has known since time immemorial, have greater upper-body strength, muscle fibre density and testosterone - which give them an innate advantage over women in close-quarters combat and overall stamina.
Not 'sexist', but 'realistic'. Biologically speaking, men are inherently superior than women at fighting, which is why women could generally not become soldiers or mercenaries back in ancient Greece, for instance. Guns, however, are a great strength equaliser, negating the 'close-quarters' element, but that still leaves general stamina, in which men still show natural advantages over women.

Because it seems to me that the biggest, most glaring weakness of the male form is fundamentally absent from female anatomy.

...What, the penis? How getting hit there will incapacitate a man? Sure, women don't have that Achille's Heel (but I imagine a breast shot will also be quite painful), but in all other physical aspects men are inherently superior fighters.
As for 'intelligence', there's plenty of intelligent men too. Unlike what media likes to portray, men are not exclusively 'brawn', and women are not exclusively 'brains'.

You can have your own preferences as much as you like, but understand that others are entitled to theirs, and some of them aren't even a choice.

I do indeed realise that - but even a heterosexual man like myself can find lesbian acts quite a turn-on, making it a 'fetish' in my book. If I need to update said book, then I unreservedly apologise for being unclear as to my meanings.

9408869
They barely know each other. How can there be a lesbian relationship between two girls who A) barely know each other, and B) were enemies until just a little while ago?

Comment posted by LucarioFan2066 deleted Jan 18th, 2019

Very nice. You know, we've had the "Make Rarity not Trash" series of stories: we need more "Make Rainbow Dash not a Jerk" stories.

9409640

Also not discounting lesbian people as a whole - just saying that forcing in a Rainbow/Sunset kissing and/or sex scene in this fantastic story would be unnecessary, stand out like a sore thumb (because Sunset doesn't truly know Rainbow and vice-versa, this soon after Sunset's defeat), and would lower the quality of this story.

I don't disagree. It's the primary reason why there isn't any shipping in this story. Forcing a romantic subplot would have been just that: forcing. This decision, however, has nothing to do with their genders, and everything to do with thematic resonance.

Sure, they can be, I'll grant that. There were also several well-trained women in my old Taekwondo classes. But men, as civilisation has known since time immemorial, have greater upper-body strength, muscle fibre density and testosterone - which give them an innate advantage over women in close-quarters combat and overall stamina.
Not 'sexist', but 'realistic'. Biologically speaking, men are inherently superior than women at fighting, which is why women could generally not become soldiers or mercenaries back in ancient Greece, for instance. Guns, however, are a great strength equaliser, negating the 'close-quarters' element, but that still leaves general stamina, in which men still show natural advantages over women.

We, (humans, that is,) are one of a very small handful of species in which the males fill the roles of hunter/protector, yes. That, however, does not mean that women are somehow less capable. Keep in mind that the reason why women were treated thusly had nothing to do with their combat effectiveness, and everything to do with patriarchal beliefs, religiosity, and the perception and treatment of women as property. The Spartans trained their women for combat, and a cornerstone of Greek mythology not only named a woman as a key goddess in the realm of combat but also created belief in an all-female tribe of legendary warriors who could only be bested by Heracles himself.

Testosterone, which you seem to be so madly in love with, isn't even an exclusively male hormone; it's produced in a female's gonads and adrenal cortices as well. Smaller amounts, granted, but it's by no means a trump card for males to claim dominance in physicality. Denser bone and striated muscle fibers are impacted less by the presence of testosterone, and more by the activity and stress levels of the individuial—this is a fundamental fact of individual adaptation. Males have a greater predisposition toward denser tissues, but by no means rule the roost in this area. This is setting aside the fact that muscle mass inhibits movement, adds weight, and slows the speed at which a limb can move. Females are, generally speaking, far more flexible than males because of this. The "overall stamina" you refer to is a side effect of a lesser hematocrit (population of hemoglobin on red blood cells) due in part to lesser testosterone levels—which can easily be rectified if said female regularly engages in physical exercise and takes an iron supplement.

...What, the penis? How getting hit there will incapacitate a man? Sure, women don't have that Achille's Heel (but I imagine a breast shot will also be quite painful), but in all other physical aspects men are inherently superior fighters.
As for 'intelligence', there's plenty of intelligent men too. Unlike what media likes to portray, men are not exclusively 'brawn', and women are not exclusively 'brains'.

Testicles. And if you need me to explain how pressure, kinetic energy, or thermal changes applied to testicles affects a male, then you obviously didn't spend enough time on the playground. A breast shot, while painful, is nowhere near as debilitating. There are numerous other advantages females have over males in your beloved hand-to-hand combat as well—a much lower center of gravity increasing their sense of balance secondary to their skeletal structure is just one of them.

I've never insinuated that women are inherently more intelligent than men, I merely pointed out an obvious caveat to your line of logic. If you're a large man facing down a woman, you can be sure that she's going to be thinking far more tactically than you are; she doesn't want to be anywhere near you.

9409642
The same place any other relationship starts: from the beginning.

9409640
It’s almost like you don’t know what the word fetish means. Kink and fetish are not interchangeable.

9409897
Oh, that's the word! 'Kink'! I did have a feeling I was using the wrong term to refer to it, but 'kink' slipped my mind; my humblest apologies, and my thanks.

9409666
I can get behind that.

9409708
You know this guy's an obvious troll right? You're just giving him what he wants by responding to him, so my suggestion would be just to block him entirely.

9409630
True, but I think Eiji's one of those who embodies that quote the best, alongside Haruto and Yusuke Godai.

This was superb work. I really loved it, especially the insight into Dash's past and how she herself had made serious mistakes in the past. I don't often see much stories going into this sort of depth with her and Sunset - usually it's with one of the Twilights or Rarity I think - but I really like this idea, and now I want to see more Sunset/Dash character interaction!

love love love this story! beautiful :)

Great job. Sunset Shimmer is one of my favorite reformed villains. She's hit rock bottom and has to work her way up to earn forgiveness and friendship. Friendship and forgiveness was not handed to her like it was with Starlight Glimmer. This is why her character arc in Rainbow Rocks was so good.

A lovely story, and very much in-character, IMO. :twilightsmile:

This isn't the first story I've read about the moment Sunset began her transformation. What sets this one apart from the others is Rainbow's involvement. While she doesn't have an obvious character arc in either FiM or EG, there's enough information for a writer to connect the dots and create one for her, as you have here. It makes perfect sense, and it's also appropriate that the Bearer of Loyalty would be the one to help Sunset repair the damage.

Fantastic work in capturing Sunset at this early, awkward stage of her reformation. She's still coming to grips with the revelation that rainbowed her in theface, and while Dash might not be the most erudite person to help her figure out applied friendship, she's still an excellent tutor. Thank you for it.

9412539
Neither was it to Starlight. They got the same opportunity, and have grown into their redemptions similarly.

Very, very amazing story, indeed! I wonder what would happen in the next chapter, can’t wait! :D
And keep up the good work! ^w^

A pretty good take on that first night after. A very good short read.

I'm interested in a sequel of rainbow dash in middle school upto the point of her fight with AJ and her realization people was scared of her

Very overdue review notification and upvote for you. I like the Equestrian tone (despite the setting!) and the Sunset-Rainbow interaction. Quite simple, but it's effective with it. :twilightsmile:

Awesome chemistry between the two great stuff

There are no words. This is... I’ll say it with an emoji.

:fluttercry::pinkiesad2::twilightsmile:

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You just pulled at my heartstrings and punched my feelings hard. Wonderful job.

Sunset nodded and wiped her eyes. “Thank you, Dash .”

You're not alone Sunset:heart:

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