• Member Since 7th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 minutes ago

Crowkis


I’m like a literary siren, feeding off the negative emotions of fictional characters

Sequels1

T
Source

Sunset always knew that she was destined for greatness, but she never dreamed of how great she could become. Not until she had seen it – the mirror had shown her as an alicorn. Ignoring Celestia’s warnings, Sunset goes looking for answers.

When she learns that the mirror is also a portal to another world, well, what else was she supposed to do? But it seems that she hadn’t considered every possibility. She hadn’t, for example, considered that she might get herself trapped on the other side. Nor did she think she’d find herself transformed into a child again.

(Also available as an audiobook)


A story set in the Who We Become series (earliest story, so a great starting point :raritywink:)


Who We Become is a realistic romantic drama series focussing on queer characters. People sensitive to queer issues should take caution before reading.


Many muches of thanks go out to ArchAngelsWings, Dessert, Mind Jack, Pasu-Chan,
CharCharChan, w_brown7, and eton975 for proofreading.
Additionally, thanks to Pasu-Chan for providing the glorious cover art :scootangel:

Chapters (34)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 1031 )

An excellent beginning. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I also love the cover art.

7720866
Thank you :pinkiehappy: I've been so excited to get to telling this story :scootangel:
She'll probably see it herself, but I'll pass your comment along to the artist. She really outdid herself on it :yay:

7720869
Thank you for both, I'm glad you like the story so far :raritywink:

Hey, how original! And well written too.

Funny, today I was wondering how a young human Sunset Shimmer would act. Ok. will follow this. If I like it, may read more of this series. :twilightsmile:

-o-

AAAHH I love this! I'm already waiting for the next chapter ;v; this story really caught my eye and this beginning is fantastic!

I need more :rainbowderp:

7720930
That was convenient timing :scootangel: I also haven't seen this idea done before, but it was one of the only ways I could think to make the timeline sync up without getting too sci-fi.

7720953
Glad you like it so much :twilightsmile: I'm pretty good about making updates on time, so you can expect a weekly dose of smol Sunset :raritywink:

7720866 I don't know if it's okay to say that here but, thanks! ^^ I had to make something to match the quality of the story :ajsmug:

7721431

You're very welcome indeed. I can't really recall seeing too many picture of 'lil Sunset, and yours is absolutely adorable.

Can't believe I'm just now seeing this, but I'm glad I did. As always, you know how to pull me in from chapter one :raritywink:

Ouch, life is really, really bad for Sunset right now. Not only was she dismissed as Princess Celestia's student, now she's in a whole new world, body and she's stuck as a child. I remember this had been brought up in your other fics, glad to see a more in-depth look at this. I don't think I've ever seen the "Sunset aged down" explanation for the time gap (between Sunset and Twilight being Celestia's students), aside from your fic.

I'm looking forward to Sunset's time in that strange new world. Wow, thirty chapters! Looking forward to all of them, Sunset is always my favorite (though I've been reading your other fics, just been busy lately). Wonder how far this fic will cover, we know Sunset is only going to get worse until EQ1, but curious to see what her journey to EQ1 will be like.

Ugh. Horrible. Two chapters and you've only tortured Sunset with a minor existential crisis and massive panic over a full body transformation in a foreign world? I expected better of you, Krickis. You bring shame upon the Honorable House of Horsey Heartache.


ci.memecdn.com/9721650.jpg

7721782
lol well it did just get posted, like, today :twilightsheepish: Glad you're enjoying it :twilightsmile:

7721850
Ah, Sunset. Ever my favorite character to pick on :scootangel: I've never seen her aged down as an explanation for the time gap either, and that was a big motivator to actually write this story (it's hard to come up with original ideas in this fandom by this point :ajsleepy:)

As for how far it'll go, we're going all the way through EQG1. That's why this is planned to be so damn long (...and I've to date extended every single story I've written past its planned length, so who knows how long it'll actually be...)

7721948
Technically I'm one chapter and a short prologue in. But in any event, don't worry; it gets worse :twilightsmile:

7722539 Right. Just noticed that :rainbowlaugh: Small details aren't my forte

7722539

I should hope so! Between the endings to Finding Home, In Pieces, Like the Good Old Days, and Side by Side, I would almost think that you were starting to write things that were happy. And how could I respond to such a horrifying thought but to shudder in revulsion?


Seriously though, I'm really excited to see this one out. While I might have argued that In Pieces was probably the best one to write first since it tied up some loose ends from previous entries (and really did enjoy reading it), this is probably the one on your list that I was most interested in reading. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it.

-o-

Realisation, Sunset needs to go through human puberty :ajsmug: -is randomly thinking of this as she re-reads the chapter-

7722936
Maybe one of these days I'll write something without a happy ending, just to shake things up.

Although I was hesitant to write this at all, I'm very glad I decided to. I'm happy with how the story's going, and look forward to sharing it. Hope it meets your expectations :ajsmug:

7723221
That'll be a fun experience, for sure. The fact that she's currently pre-pubescent does actually come up within a few chapters, in a small way, although how much I actually write about puberty itself is yet to be seen (although a large chunk of the story is middle school, so maybe?)

Awesome start! I'm excited to read the next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

7733015
Thank you, I'm excited to finally get to tell this story :yay:

Looking promising so far. I look forward to see where it goes.

7737939
Thank you, hope you enjoy what I have planned :scootangel:

-o-

With the style of writing you make, I like to imagine that this world is allot more human then Equestria girls, especially with the cover art's style :twilightblush: The designs and world functions of the movie's universe were too simple, and weird considering Twilight was just let into that school, the principle's should know if any new students were there, so this story makes everything seem more "realistic" :twilightsmile: And I may or may not be a bit of a realist :rainbowderp:

So, amazing story so far! :rainbowkiss:

7738008
One of my biggest goals is always realism :raritywink: I don't mind silly cartoonish logic like the show and movies feature, but (especially with writing) I just prefer realism. I'll try and explain away some plot holes and vague details from the show, but I got nothing on how Twilight was able to just walk into the school and be accepted as a new student.

As for the cover art, I didn't specifically ask Pasu to make it more realistic, but I didn't have to. She shares my interest in doing more realistic stuff with ponies and pony-based humans, which makes her artwork an exceptionally good fit for this series :scootangel:

7738024

I'll try and explain away some plot holes and vague details from the show, but I got nothing on how Twilight was able to just walk into the school and be accepted as a new student.

Personally, I'm still stubbornly clinging to the notion that Principal Celestia knew about the existence the other world before EG took place. IIRC, Princess Celestia tells Twilight that she'll "soon know more about this world than even I do" which kind of implies that she at least knows something about it. I like to think that while she didn't go very frequently due to concerns over upsetting the balance, she did pop over for a visit once in a while out of curiosity (maybe every few decades, centuries, or something like that) and met her counterpart in one of her more (relatively) recent excursions. So when Principal Celestia saw Twilight come in with a truckload of laughable excuses, obvious ignorance to how things in their world worked, and making references to things like "the Grand Galloping Gala," she was willing to watch and see before making any decisions.

That's the best I can do to justify it, at any rate. Might also explain why Celestia and Luna never once seem to actually be surprised by any of the magical events in the school, even in the first film. The students at least acknowledge that things are weird or freaky. Celestia's first reaction to blatant displays of magic at her school was to pick up the crown and give a speech on what it really means to be a princess. In all likelihood, though, the writers just didn't put much thought into it. That would explain far, far more about the first film than any in-universe explanation.

I mean, it was enjoyable and all, but it was a very flawed film. It's like they were trying to write a normal 20-30 minute episode where things like that might be overlooked a little more easily because we recognize that they're short on time, but then remembered that they needed a film length story and just kind of forgot to change anything that didn't work as well in a story where they had more time to explain things. Which is irritating, because several of the obvious filler scenes were time that could have been used actually making sense of some of the things they just kind of skimmed over.

7738544
That makes a lot of sense, honestly. Like you said, it clearly wasn't intended, but it's a better explanation than anything we're likely to see in canon anyway. And as much as Twilight getting into school bothered me, Celestia's complete lack of acknowledgement of the whole 'demonic being mind controlling students' thing is what really kills me. Her having some experience with magic would help explain that. Still seems odd, but it's a lot better than 'Everything's okay now, so we never need to acknowledge these events again'.

Every time you say you ‘deserve’ to get something without the effort just proves to me that you are not ready.”

Yes, heaven forbid someone expect __growth privileges__ if they're greedy. The whole world would end if that were to happen. Remember, need before greed. After all, wanting to accomplish your goals, to achieve recognition, and (of all the nerve) expecting to be proud of who you are and what you do mean absolutely nothing if you don't have the right attitude young cosset, and I do expect you to behave as a young cosset. When you understand the difference between a reward and a privilege then you'll understand why this system is still in place.

After all, if I can trick you into thinking a basic privilege of working is a "reward" you'll appreciate it sooooooo much more when I give you a growth privilege you can __only use__ if you achieve recognition, accomplish your goals, and can be proud of what you do and who you are. That's totally different from wanting recognition, pride, and accomplishment because you will still need them after you've become a winged pinniped (pinup-head???). Only when you can prove to me you possess insight will you be worthy of the insight that comes with growth.

The set up is interesting... and I can peek ahead you say? Thank you kind filler bunny.

7739938
I feel like this is removing some very important context from the situation. Sunset's goal here is that she's trying to become a princess. A leadership position where she'll be put in charge of other ponies and plausibly play a part in the making of laws and running of Equestria (they're pretty vague on what princesses do). It's not unreasonable to expect someone given such a position ought to have a personality that goes with it before being given the position. This isn't just some promotion at work, it would be elevating her to the literal highest position available. Nothing of Sunset's pre-reformation personality suggests she ought to be given that role.

Although I will agree Celestia is also in the wrong here, just not about refusing Sunset's demand – because she did demand, rather than approaching her goal in a realistic way. If I want to be a senator, I don't demand the president make me one, I figure out the necessary steps to getting that position and then I do them; likewise, Sunset could have asked what she needed to do to achieve her goal, rather than expect it to be handed to her. So the passage you quoted was entirely grounded in Celestia doing the right thing with what was presented to her.

Where Celestia didn't do the right thing was her failure to inform Sunset about the mirror, and her immediate dismissal of Sunset as her student (I suppose the latter could be attributed to the short 8-page structure of the comic this is adapting). Celestia presents Sunset with knowledge by showing her the mirror, and then she forbids her from further questioning it. Had she been open in the beginning, this wouldn't have happened.

As for Sunset's pride, desire of achieving goals, and attempts at gaining recognition, there's nothing to suggest Celestia doesn't approve of these things, in this story or in any official source. Just the anti-social behavior and the whole 'Make me a princess' thing.

7740081
Thank you :twilightsmile: And certainly, if you prefer. Far be it from me to tell someone in what order to read something lol.

7740135

I'm actually thinking of it in the sense "I earned a college degree (or some other growth privilege or certificate of recognition), I deserve to work in an office (or position) where my skills will be valued and/or perceived."

Or, I have a college degree, my need for "relief" is greater than someone who just graduated from high school, so I should be given more "frozen energy" in exchange for my "active energy" because I'm neither insured nor being compensated for labor.

Or, I want to be a manager because I need to be one for X many years if I want hope to continue my education/pay off my student loans, as that is the ludicrous condition to receive the next growth privilege like a car, or a masters degree, or a PHD what have you. (I know a lot of entrepreneurial things use the same logic as well... First I'll sell clothing on the internet , then I'll have a storefront, soon I'll have a chain.)

Or, I'm a paraprofessional, I worked twice as hard, to get half as far, with 1/3 the recognition value, and twice the debt for every mistake I made, just so some over privileged brat can think they're superior to me, becasue they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Well, I want to become a professional "blank" Too. But, every prerequisite I've met has been denied because of a glass ceiling or double standard put in place by the conspiracy to keep me from reaching the finish line and the only other finish line I'm close to is death.

Or, I know you don't have to be competent to be a good leader; the most basic requirement being just, having an interest in people, and a desire to be of service. But, seriously has anyone ever considered Greed is good. I mean without it we'd still be carrying everything around with two sticks and a blanket. I deserve a better explanation why SOB's succeed and nice guys finish last than "they're greedy," a sore looser, or their personality is all wrong. Then again, I'm more of a stakeholder. I'm not good enough to handle their tools, but they'll let me hold 'their' money until they've determined who's won and asked me for an unbiased opinion free of prejudice and logical fallacy then argue about my 'fair' decision.

You ask me, the referee is the smartest one. And, I've already forgotten the point of the dispute at this point... perceptions based on old and unchanging ways of talking can lead to problems worse than a baby dragon being greedy for their hoard.

7740272
It's not that I disagree with you, it's just that Sunset's greed was never the issue. She's not denied because she has the drive to advance her situation, she's denied because she's trying to skip the steps necessary to get herself there. Going back to the part you quoted initially:

Every time you say you ‘deserve’ to get something without the effort just proves to me that you are not ready.”

Sunset is driven and hardworking, but in this instance, she's not using those positive traits. She's making the demand that she should be given something because she's owed it. Even on that note, she'd have a much better argument if she were saying 'I've accomplished so much, I deserve this' but again, she's not even doing that. She's saying 'I was shown this possibility, I deserve it' without making any more connections beyond the fact she wants it. Sunset could put in the effort to get what she wants and do a lot with the title that she thus earned. But that still requires effort on her behalf aside from just 'I really really want this thing give it to me now'.

Though again, this could still be traced back to be Celestia's fault. Sunset did ask about the mirror, and Celestia didn't answer her. Celestia never gave Sunset the chance to put her ambition and work ethic to good use; she wanted Sunset to prove herself while having no idea what she was even proving herself for. This is a ridiculous idea and simply doesn't work. We don't find the most upstanding people and decide 'you lot are now our public officials', we let people aspire to become that, provide resources for them to figure out what needs to be done to get there, then let them make their case as best they can.

As with many situations, I don't think the prologue of this story has a clear right and wrong. Celestia's at fault for denying Sunset a reasonable path to follow for her goals, and Sunset's at fault for trying to circumvent the path to achievement and demanding it be handed to her.

7740308

I kind of think the real reason most people don't demand the gifts of achievement be handed to them (even if they're hard earned) has to do with the fact that doing so can be used as an excuse to 'discount or 'invalidate the growth privileges one has already been given, or acquired with great difficulty, as 'cheating.'

Heaven help you if you think a basic privilege is a reward of any kind 'though. Because, then they (they being the people in charge) can withhold it based on whether or not you're 'worthy' of it, or just as easily say they couldn't approve of the boon (whatever it may be) because of some other policy, like in the Toby Maguire version spiderman. Although, if the policy is something as asinine has having the __exact__ same knowledge (not to be confused with fundamental knowledge), or matching the very definition of a specific stereotype as proof of concept (or ability), then it really defeats the benefits and purpose of diversity in the first place.

7740378
While I don't hold quite such a cynical world view myself, I do see where you're coming from. But I think we're getting further from the actual story here (unless you're calling alicorn ascension and being crowned royalty 'basic privileges'). My only real points here are that the situation is too complicated to blame only one character, and that Sunset doesn't deserve to be a princess at this point.

7740445
No, the wings would be a growth privilege. The basic privilege of learning is knowledge, the reward is ideally power if "cognito est oto" or a similar Roman philosophy is to be believed. Celestia is withholding information based not on her pupil's ignorance (or incompotence) but, rather, becasue Sunset's initiative is corrupted by ambition. While insight is great for adaptation, and discovery is good for the soul, refusing to alleviate ignorance becasue the other party has a character flaw you don't like or approve of, when most sapient beings of planet earth have developed some kind personality disorder by the time they're twelve, is like knit picking at hairs... It's kind of like deciding which personality disorder is more acceptable by punishing or phishing out the ones that have an overt pathology.

Twilight is a narcissistic, paranoid, asocial, and obsessive compulsive, cosset. You cannot convince me that she is (or was) more qualified to learn dark magic or become an Alicorn than Sunset was when she left for the human world, and Celestia actually taught Purple Smart how to use and harness dark magic. Sunset isn't even as cunning, sadistic, or arrogant as Starlight Glimmer. The fact that Sunset is greedy or ambitious doesn't make her cruel or cause her to use emotional blackmail.

Celestia had no reason to believe that Sunset would use ridicule, humiliation, torture, abuse, theft, physical or verbal assault to achieve her aims if she were empowered with dark magic. And, one can't exactly make the argument for a lack of empathy or guilt on Sunset's part either since she would have had to have developed some sense of shame or humility to know when her boundaries were trampled over.

I don't think it was a lack of sympathy or rapport with others that Sunset lacked, but an inability to appeal to pity the way Twilight and (shivers) Starlight do. Which is ironic because I pity her more than any of the other characters in the series, probably because I'm sure many people can understand why she had to do the aforementioned bad things in order to survive. And, it really had nothing to do with her wants overrunning personal needs. In a sense Sunset had the audacity to decide her fate, decide what she needed to do, and told her god to take her horn and shove it where the sun don't shine. :ajsmug:

7740580
It seems we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one :twilightsheepish: We have very different interpretations of both Sunset and Twilight, it seems.

7741931
That's probably true, I'm not one to see wanting something as a crime of opportunity.

Not to mention I've been spoiled by A Clockwork Orange, my film studies not withstanding. Plus, thanks to Ewen Cameron and MK-ultra experiments conducted by the CIA many people know psychic diving wears off in practice. Possibly becasue the Ludivico technique has the opposite effect in real life given the general amount of interpersonal resistance. Sadly, I have no idea why I still confuse the Milligram and Zombardo experiments for one another, but I do remember the Pavlov experiments correctly. So, when a cinematic representation was referencing a study crafted in an attempt cure homosexuality (like throwing bombs at a sharknado) the effects were bound to be disastrous.

very good chapter

Veeeery interesting! :D Would love to see more!!

7754374
Glad you like it :twilightsmile: I'm pretty good about this serialized writing thing, so expect a new chapter every Monday :raritywink:

As much as I love a great Sunset drama, and as a standalone this story is excellent so far, I feel like it sort of taints the other stories in the series. From what we knew about Sunset from her previous two stories, she went through a lot of crap. While originally it could be argued Fluttershy had worse teenage years, she still got out and was mostly fine after that. Sunset on the other hand, had a relatively crappy childhood, a horrible second childhood, was replaced (and broken) after years of trying to get back, had to work for her redemption, was stuck being dirt poor with no chance out due to a criminal record, and when she finally started getting something resembling happiness (after helping Twilight and pony Fluttershy), something happens to her that traumatized her to the point of drinking (still wondering what that is, will it be in this story?), she loses human Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, while also losing human Twilight in a way and Rarity moving away. Then, she gets a small amount of hope with a second chance with human Fluttershy, but that goes to hell real fast, and she's left with just Applejack and Pinkie. It also doesn't help that apparently her friends were never really as close to her (or even as nice to her as) as Twilight's were to her. She had to deal with the same sexuality issues (except politically, and even that, only for the easier part), and even helped pony Twilight and Fluttershy out. The issue comes when in Finding Home, which takes place after Sunset had gone through all that crap (being broken multiple times), she goes through more than any of the of the other characters. She has to deal with the pony she loves and the pony counterpart of her ex being together, then when Twilight kisses her (and it was specifically Twilight initiating it), she gets all the hate (including her own) and accusations, to point where she tries to drink herself to death. It took a suicide attempt for Fluttershy to realize that maybe this completely broken person/pony, who gave her a ton of support over the last few years, and in no way started kiss, isn't worth evicting and hating, and maybe needs help... It honestly got to the point where if Sunset had seriously hurt Rainbow Dash, I wouldn't have felt any sympathy for her (partially because Rainbow already pulled that stunt), even though her reaction was reasonable, especially for her, Sunset's been through so much that it would've been satisfying and cathartic to see her finally let some frustration out. Then, when she finally gets together with Twilight and Fluttershy, so much more goes wrong, between losing Spike, having Twilight's parents hate her, and being abandoned by Celestia, the one person/pony that gave her any happiness in the first 29 years of her life (in a situation where Celestia's inaction was child abuse due to Spike having bonded to Twilight and after Sunset already has abandonment issues...). Then, after all that hell, things finally start legitimately looking up, with Sunset and human Twilight even reconciling. That is, with the exception of human Rainbow Dash still hating her and a set up for even more drama with human Fluttershy potentially wanting to get back with her, which will probably be put on Sunset again...

I'm not trying to be harsh, I love the series so far, and this is the only major issue I have with it. I still haven't read the Fluttershy one shot, so that might change things a bit, but Sunset's experiences overshadow everyone else's drama so much that it makes most of the other drama seem petty. Seriously, between Finding Home and the Sunset one shot, it makes the first story's drama and emotions seem almost petty. It also harms other characters (especially Celestia, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy), as they are essentially beating on a broken (innocent) pony while she's down and beating herself. While they don't know the extent of her trauma, Fluttershy and Celestia at least know there's quite a bit there. Even if they didn't know, the audience does, so it's very difficult to not completely side with Sunset. It also really hurts Twilight, as she causes a large chunk of the problems, but by far has had the easiest life of the three and the only problem that should affect her more than the rest (losing Spike), still very heavily affects the other two, and the responsibility is shoveled onto Sunset. Now we have a second story dedicated to how crappy Sunset's life was, that most likely won't even touch the event that broke her into drinking, it is becoming harder and harder to sympathize with any of the other characters. It got to the point where the entire Luna and Amber subplot in Finding Home meant nothing to me (and is putting me off of reading their story), as it was so much more low key than the rest (and not in a subtle way), that it felt like a speed bump to the rest of the story. As a series that started off as a lesbian drama between Twilight and Fluttershy, then tried to evolve into an unorthodox relationships series, it is getting strongly overshadowed by Sunset.

7754454
I do believe this is the longest comment I've ever received :twilightsheepish:

It's a bit difficult to address without discussing other stories (primarily Finding Home) directly, which feels odd to do on another story. I'll PM you if you want a reply that more directly covers that (which I'm thinking you might, seeing as you summarized Sunset's entire character arc up through Finding Home :ajsmug:) As for your interpretation of everything, while you have the events completely right, I don't necessarily share the same view of complete sympathy towards Sunset. Many of her problems were self-inflicted. She had to work so hard to pull herself up because she dug herself really fucking far down. Which is, of course, why it's (ideally) a moving story when she does. Certainly not everything that happened to her, but most of her back story before EQG1 is at least partly her own fault (including her problems in this story).

As for Sunset overshadowing the others, I suppose I just don't see it like that. I've never placed individual stories up next to each other and tried to balance them, and I doubt I ever will. When coming up with a character's story, I just try to make it compelling. Not more than, less than, or equal to anyone else's story, just something that would be compelling in its own right. Considering several stories exist in the series that either don't feature Sunset or barely feature her, and I found myself happy with those stories, I'm not concerned on that front myself. I've never experienced something that made me retroactively dislike something. I was happy with Twishy's story in Inner Strength, nothing that comes after could make me unhappy with it. I can honestly say I've never read or watched anything and thought 'I would be interested in these characters, but this other character is so interesting that I'm not.'

I'm not directly disagreeing with you. I'm just saying that I can't experience the story (or any story) in that way. Could be that it is a major problem and other readers also feel Sunset overshadows the series, but I doubt I'll ever be able to see it :applejackunsure:

You are right about Amber and Luna, though. I'm not really happy with how their story went down in Finding Home at all.

Now, quantity is another matter entirely. I'm admittedly not thrilled that Sunset is dominating so much of the screen time. It's a problem that will take a while to fix (especially since the next major story I'm writing is also about Sunset :facehoof:) but it will get fixed eventually. The issue is really that I just should have written this story first. I brought Sunset in on Finding Home with the expectation that it wouldn't matter when I wrote her back story, then I constantly found myself frustrated that I didn't write it. Fluttershy was also supposed to have a full back story fleshed out by ArchAngelsWings, but that story may or may not be canceled (I honestly don't know). Other characters either have show-established back stories or can be handled easily with other ways.

In summary, there's so much Sunset because I don't want to write her future without fully establishing her past.

As a series that started off as a lesbian drama between Twilight and Fluttershy, then tried to evolve into an unorthodox relationships series

That's very accurate, but I don't consider the series to be about anything other than whatever's happening to the characters. I have adventure stories planned as well, for example. When the stories are about Sunset, they'll be about her. When they're not, they'll be about something else. Lesbian drama and unorthodox relationships are only a couple of the things that interest me.

Axz

I like this, the last few paragraphs especially due to you working that concept in. It made me think of an episode from Startrek next gen where some of the cast had there bodies reverted to children, and to some degree then acted the part as they should, two of them even ended up jumping on the bed in one scene.
The literal physiology of a child's mind is different, undeveloped, and irregardless of much prior knowledge, memory, and experience you carry with you the base biology will to some extent shine through.

7754572
When I got the basic idea for this story, the psychology was the main thing that stuck out to me. I don't have a whole lot of background in the psych field (I took AP psychology in high school, but that's all I got lol) so I'm sure someone more knowledgable could pick out some flaws, but the simple idea of the adult mind in a child's brain was way too appealing to pass up :pinkiehappy:

7754508 My bad on the what the series is trying to be part, I though I read that was the point on the group page or something... Anyways, while it can be argued how much of Sunset's suffering was self inflicted (though I have a very low opinion of Celestia in the show, between rewriting history, abandoning Twilight at the wedding, putting a test over the security of the nation, not bothering to write to Sunset, malicious pranking, including causing massive chaos at the gala the episode before Discord breaks free, not trusting Twilight post ascension, and so on), she never got as bad as some of the characters in the show (Discord and Starlight), and actually had to work for her redemption. But that's irrelevant right now, for the most part. The issues for me are best shown by three scenes from Finding Home and comparing them to Inner Strength.

The first is the Twilight kiss scene. Sunset didn't initiate or escalate the scene in anyway (though she should've broken away), but Fluttershy suddenly starts hating her to the point of wanting to evict her. It takes Sunset almost attempting suicide for Fluttershy to consider talking to her. This is Fluttershy we're talking about, after Sunset's been friends with her and helping her for years. Fluttershy was only really angry with Twilight for leaving in the end, not even for the kiss. She never even really talked to Sunset about it, just let it slide with no apology. Compared to the Amber Fluttershy scene from Inner Strength, it was downright viscious towards Sunset.

The second is the meeting with Twilight's family. In Inner Strength, it goes perfectly. In Finding Home? How dare Sunset corrupt their daughter. Let's phish out a lie by lying to her to prove she's evil and take Spike away, even though we know it's objectively worse to keep him away from Twilight and blame Sunset. Oh, and no support from Shining either. I get that in story Velvet has a reason for it, but it's still a scene from Inner Strength taken to the extreme and putting Sunset at the bottom when Twilight should be suffering the most (seriously, she lost Spike, yet by the end, I feel worse for Sunset than her).

The last is that Celestia is perfectly willing to support them in Inner Strength, but add Sunset to the mix? Nah, she'd rather let Spike suffer than help them. Honestly, that Spike magic bond thing really paints an everyone hates Sunset picture for that arc, as they'd rather cause Twilight's son to suffer than give Sunset a chance, after they accepted Fluttershy instantly. I guess the best way to describe my issue is that so much went right in Inner Strength, but many of the same things happened in Finding Home, and they went so much worse, and since Sunset was the cause, all the drama and suffering went to her.

It probably didn't help that I read the first two chapters of this story first, then the Sunset one shot, then Inner Strength, then Finding Home. Finding Home has a lot of the same mandatory relationship scenes as Inner Strength, but they are much more dramatic. It felt like Inner Strength was building up the characters while Finding Home tore them down. I think that the other part of my issue comes more from the show and movies treatment of the characters and I'm projecting some of it here. Mainly, that with a few exceptions with the CMC and Luna, up until the season 5 finale, the only character to show a shred of empathy was Sunset. Comparing how Twilight treated Sunset post defeat and Starlight is almost disgusting. Plus, unless the comics are canon (and none of the main series ones are), we don't know Sunset's backstory. All we have is that she turned cruel and impatient, according to Celestia, the same pony who keeps Blueblood around and never realized Cadence was replaced by a changeling, but almost threw Twilight out after saving Equestria twice. Oh and that Sunset was Celestia's student before Twilight, yet the two are the same age, and the movies imply there's no difference in the flow of time between the two worlds... Come over to this story, Sunset basically has no parents, and was taught she needs to be great. Celestia taunts Sunset with the mirror, but won't tell her anything about, then kicks her out after breaking into the restricted section (something Twilight did in the show to stop time). Hell, if Twilight didn't have her parents, her brother, and the freakin' alicorn of love raising her, alongside Spike as a companion, especially with how antisocial and unpleasant she was in episode one, and didn't have her destiny to be to make friends (seriously, wha was with that Rainboom backstory), or in other words, had Sunset's backstory, how much worse she would've turned out. Oh, and Starlight Glimmer... I hope that not too much of that is slipping into this, but it still feels like Sunset got the short end of the stick for relatively minor offenses, especially considering all the crap she had to go through and that Twilight got away scot free for a lot of her crap.

7754694
I would really rather discuss other stories either in the comment section of those stories or in a PM :twilightblush: I'll message you a reply towards the bulk of your comment (about your issue with everyone ganging up on Sunset; some of it is just stuff that I interpret differently because I interpret the characters differently, but there's one detail you're misremembering), but you caught me right before bed so I may be a while. In the meantime, would you mind editing your comment to spoiler tag the third and fourth paragraphs, since those are also about Finding Home's plot? I thank you very much for using the spoiler tag feature, since I do want people to be able to browse comments without worry.

As for things I can address (namely, your first and last paragraphs), the group doesn't feature a wholly accurate description because I've never been able to think of one. I'm fond of referring to Who We Become as a lesbian horse soap opera, but that's in part because it's just impossible to come up with something more accurate (lol describing it on the group page as 'a story about whatever I'm writing about at the time' is not gonna make anyone want to read it :twilightblush:)

Part of the difference between Inner Strength and Finding Home is just that I was more experienced when writing FH. I always wanted the heavy drama to be part of IS, but I didn't really get it down right back then. This is quite possibly for the better, objectively speaking. IS has a lot more general appeal, I think, because FH alienates some readers with its consistent drama. But regardless of what would objectively be best for the story, subjectivelyI really just like writing drama :derpytongue2:

Mainly, that with a few exceptions with the CMC and Luna, up until the season 5 finale, the only character to show a shred of empathy was Sunset.

...Aaaand now I have to rewatch the show with this idea in mind to see if I agree. Can't say I agree or disagree at the moment, but it's not something I ever noticed.

yet the two are the same age, and the movies imply there's no difference in the flow of time between the two worlds...

That plot hole always bugged the hell out of me as well. Figuring out how to make sense of it without going really sci-fi was what inspired this story :scootangel:

Celestia taunts Sunset with the mirror, but won't tell her anything about,

This too bugs the hell out of me. But since I do generally hold the comics as canon (unless otherwise contradicted), my hands were tied. That's literally the story that we were given, as baffling as it is.

As for the Sunset-Starlight stuff, I'm just not touching that one. It's been such a heavily talked about thing within the fandom, but I really just don't feel strongly about it one way or the other. I noticed the similarities then, got an idea for what to do with Starlight in WWB (:pinkiecrazy:), and didn't spend much time worrying about it past that point.

-o-

OoooOOOOoOoh SNAP :pinkiegasp: New chapter!

So, Sunset is about five years old, and I feel I'm going to just go research mental disorders that she could possibly be diagnosed with for the way she's acting, but of course, she's only five. :ajsmug:
School will be a fun topic to explore, starting out in our version of the education will be very different from the equestrian, "small classrooms", equine related topics, and just one teacher.

Maybe Sunset will fall into the "juvenile delinquent", in detention all the time "group".

Also, tiny Sunset is breaking out the b-word X'D Or in this case, both the b-words.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!