Looking Glass

by Krickis

25 – Queen

⠀

⠀
Everything was too bright. Sunset reached around for a pillow she could use to cover her head with, only to find that there weren’t any. Instead, she rolled over and pressed her face into the nook of the couch.

Thirty seconds of a song looped over and over. It had been playing for the better part of the night, and all Sunset could do was groan. Even if she could ignore the light, that song was driving her crazy.

There was no ignoring either, so after a few minutes of trying, Sunset forced herself to sit up. An empty beer can rolled from the couch to the floor, coming to rest beside another one. Sunset groaned again and rubbed her eyes, then started looking around for the remote to shut off the DVD player.

It hit her before she even found the remote. “Fuck…” Sunset stood up quickly and ran to the bedroom. She found her phone on the bed where she left it and checked the time. Eight o’clock, which meant her first class was already over. She groaned again.

She quickly weighed her options. She felt like shit and getting back to sleep in a real bed might fix that. It wasn’t like she even needed to go to school anymore. Sure, the school would be pissed if she completely stopped going. They’d make some phone calls, but then what? Her number was already updated in the school’s records, so they’d just be calling her cell. And it wasn’t like she’d be expelled within the next month, and that was all the time she needed. There was no one to lecture her, or ground her, or anything else.

And even if she wanted to keep going to school just to fill her time, what was one day going to hurt? She knew most subjects better than her teachers did, and she didn’t even really need to do the assignments anymore. Nothing in her future was dependent on what grades she got in school anymore.

The logic was pretty solid, and she couldn’t think of any possible reasons to go to school that would outweigh it. So Sunset crawled into bed and pulled the blanket on top of her. It was much more comfortable than the couch, even if she could still hear the DVD menu music from the living room. That was fixed by following through with her original plan and covering her head with a pillow.

At last, Sunset could not only chase away her thoughts during the night any way she liked, she could sleep in during the morning for as long as she wanted. Having no one to tell her what to do was the best, and Sunset had a feeling she was going to enjoy the month on her own.

All on her own. No one to tell her what to do. Just a whole day by herself in an empty house with nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company.

Sunset sat up and groaned one last time. Second period would be over by the time she got ready and made it to school, but she could be there for the rest of the day.

“It’s not even for a whole month,” Sunset reminded herself as she questioned if this house was such a good move.

There was no one around by the time Sunset pulled into the student parking lot, as everyone else was in class. It might’ve been smarter to wait an hour, since then she’d be arriving during lunch rather than the end of second period, but she hadn’t wanted to spend any more time alone than necessary.

Checking her phone showed her that there were only ten minutes left in class. She took the time to lock up her bike properly, then slowly walked into the school. Being late meant she had to enter through the office, but most of the staff loved her, so that wouldn’t be a problem.

She was met with a confused look from the secretary, who no doubt was shocked by the fact that Canterlot High School’s darling was late. Sunset smiled sheepishly, explained that she had just moved and forgot to set her alarm clock in the new house, and had them both laughing it off within minutes. She even stayed to chat for the rest of the class period, since it was obvious that there was no point in going so late, and that way she wouldn’t have to explain to anyone why she was wandering the halls during class time.

Once the bell rang to signify the end of class, Sunset waved goodbye and left for her locker. Students began filing out into the hallway, and only the motorcycle helmet under her arm suggested that she wasn’t leaving her class along with the rest of them.

Nobody stopped to talk to Sunset as she walked through the halls. By now, most of the students knew better, even if the staff remained clueless. Most of them didn’t know exactly what Sunset was capable of, but that worked out to her benefit. Fewer people who knew the true Sunset meant fewer people who would have a reason to stand up to her.

Speaking of people who couldn’t see the real Sunset… She stopped when she noticed two people outside a classroom. They were too far away to hear, but Flash and Rainbow seemed to be enjoying a conversation. Enjoying a little too much, considering Rainbow was spreading rumors about her.

Breaking up their conversation now would only lead to problems. She could deceive Flash and handle Rainbow, but trying to do both at once was too likely to blow up on her. Leaving them alone for the time being, Sunset backtracked a bit to take a different route to her locker.

Going the long way took up most of the time in between classes, but that was fine. Sunset didn’t have anything else to do anyway. The warning bell sounded as she reached her locker. She still took her time; Sunset’s teachers liked her enough that she could get away with being a little late.

She opened her locker and placed the helmet on the top shelf. She pulled a chemistry textbook out, and she tried her best to ignore the box at the bottom.

Most of the students were either already in their classes or running to get to them by the time Sunset closed her locker. She made her way to class ever so slightly faster than her usual walk, just so that no staff members could chastise her for taking her time.

The bell had rung by the time she reached the class, but her teacher accepted the most basic of apology she could offer without further questions. Most of the students cast a half-interested look in her direction as she walked to her seat, but none of them paid her much mind.

One student, she noticed, didn’t look at her at all. In fact, Fluttershy seemed to deliberately avoid looking her way. That was as it should be. A lot of students were afraid of her, especially lately. The closer it was to the portal opening, the less Sunset tried to hide her nefarious intentions. And Fluttershy? She had been one of Sunset’s first targets.

It wasn’t anything against her specifically. Fluttershy was friends with Applejack, and that was reason enough. It had taken a while to separate the inseparable group, but Sunset had worked on it relentlessly. Most of what she did was behind the scenes stuff, things they still wouldn’t suspect she was involved in. But occasionally, more direct involvement was beneficial.

That, and making Fluttershy squirm was an easy source of amusement. Okay, so maybe it was a little bit because of Fluttershy specifically.

Maybe that was why Sunset kept thinking of her throughout the class. After the miserable night she’d had, it would be nice to have a chance to let off some steam. There wasn’t anything she really wanted from Fluttershy, but she could always find something.

Or maybe she was just bored. The lesson certainly wasn’t keeping her preoccupied. Chemistry was an interesting subject, but the school year was new and they were still working through the introductory lessons. Meanwhile, Sunset had studied chemistry years ago in Equestria, and, ever determined to keep busy, she’d brushed up on it more recently in her spare time.

Whether it was because she was looking for a release or because she was bored it didn’t matter. When the bell rang to signify it was lunchtime, Sunset left the room, but she didn’t go far. Fluttershy lingered in the classroom for a few minutes, likely hoping the extra time would mean Sunset was a safe distance away.

Unfortunately for her, Sunset was waiting in the hall. “Fluttershy,” Sunset said with a warm smile, reveling the way she flinched at even the sound of her own name. “Got a minute? I need to talk to you about something.”

Fluttershy tucked her arms in, bowed her head, and avoided eye contact as she spoke. “Uhm, actually, I –”

“Great! Let’s go for a walk.” Sunset placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her as she started walking. Fluttershy either didn’t realize Sunset was steering her away from the classroom she could have run back into, or she was smart enough to know that was only a short-term gain.

“So, it’s been a while!” Sunset said as they walked. “How have things been with you?”

Fluttershy looked off to the side before speaking. “Well, I –”

“Wait, sorry, I just remembered I don’t care.” Sunset laughed as if it were a silly misunderstanding. “Now, there is something I do care about, though.”

Sunset stopped and Fluttershy did likewise. “I was wondering if you could tell me if your friend Rarity is going to try running for the Fall Formal.”

“No, I… I don’t think so…”

Sunset tightened her hold on Fluttershy’s shoulder. Even though it wasn’t nearly enough to hurt her, Fluttershy still gasped as if she were in pain. Sunset ignored it. “I’m sorry, but was that a ‘no’ or an ‘I don’t think so’?”

Fluttershy tried taking a step back, but Sunset maintained her hold. “I… I…”

“Sunset?”

Sunset scowled. Of all the people to find her in the middle of intimidating someone. She forced a smile as she turned around. “Hey, Flash! How’s it going?”

Flash looked between both girls. “What’s going on here?”

Sunset shrugged. “Nothing much, just catching up with Fluttershy. You two know each other, right?”

“A little,” Flash said. Sunset didn’t know if he believed that Sunset wasn’t up to anything bad, but she knew he wanted to. “How’s it going, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy glanced to Sunset, who wondered if she knew how important her next words were to her well being. “It’s… fine.”

Well that wasn’t going to convince anyone. “Fluttershy and I have chemistry together,” Sunset said, then grinned. “And I don’t just mean because we get along so well!”

It seemed Fluttershy was smart enough to know to play along, even if she wasn’t very good at it. All she managed was a weak chuckle that couldn’t possibly fool anyone, even Flash.

Sunset rolled with it. “Sorry, that was a really dumb joke. But anyway, it was nice catching up with you, Fluttershy, but I’ll see you later. Unless you wanted to join me and Flash for lunch?”

Fluttershy was already backing away. “Oh, I, uh… I have to go meet… someone. Bye!” She ran off before Sunset or Flash had a chance to say anything.

“She’s a little… shy around people she doesn’t know well,” Sunset said once she was gone.

“So… what was all that about?”

Although she knew what he meant, Sunset feigned ignorance and facepalmed. “Ugh, I know, I can’t believe I said that. ‘We have chemistry together’? This is why I shouldn’t try to joke with people.”

“That wasn’t the problem.” Flash sounded exasperated already. “She didn’t look shy, she looked scared.”

“This again…” Sunset folded her arms and arched an eyebrow. “So what? Do you think I’m intimidating her to not run against me or something?”

“I didn’t say that,” Flash said defensively.

“So, you just think I’m scaring her for no reason then?”

“No! You’re being completely unreasonable!”

“Then what would be ‘reasonable’, Flash?” Sunset glared. “Okay, you got me. I wanted to find out why people are talking about me, so I decided to talk to one of Rarity’s friends about it. Apparently that was ‘unreasonable’, though.”

“So you two were just having a friendly conversation then?” Flash asked doubtfully.

“Yes! What do you think I was doing?”

Flash sighed. “I don’t know. But she didn’t seem to think it was just friendly.”

Sunset turned away and shifted her tone, opting to sound more hurt than aggressive. “Fine. Believe whatever you want.”

“Sunset…”

Sunset let out an obviously forced laugh. “Besides, I can see what’s going on.”

That threw Flash off more than the fake hurt did. “What do you mean?”

“It’s Rainbow Dash. You know, at first I thought it was weird that you hang out with her so much. This isn’t the first time she’s perpetuated a rumor against me, you know. But then I realized… she’s playing you, and you’re letting her.”

“Don’t you think that’s going a little far?”

“I don’t know!” Sunset threw her hands up in a show of exasperation. “Don’t you think it’s weird to be friends with someone who’s been talking shit about your girlfriend?”

Flash let out a deep sigh. “Let’s just talk about this when we’re not at school. I’m going to get some lunch. I’ll see you later, Sunset.”

“Whatever.” Sunset didn’t wait for him to walk away before doing so herself.

Let Flash think whatever he wanted to. There were other things to worry about, anyway. Although she had been going through the motions to win the Fall Formal, she hadn’t really cared one way or the other. But thinking on it, why should anyone else get to take her spot? Even if she was going back to Equestria before the dance, Sunset Shimmer was the rightful Princess of the Fall Formal. She couldn’t win the crown if she wasn’t there for the voting, but she could make sure no one else did.

There weren’t many students who would dare to run against her, but it never hurt to be sure. Rarity had almost certainly learned her lesson after the Spring Fling, but a reminder wouldn’t hurt. She didn’t even need to get her own hands dirty.

As she walked towards the courtyard, she sent a text message to Snips telling him to bring Snails and meet her at the statue. She had originally only befriended them to make herself look good, but they proved useful enough to keep around.

It would be going a little far to call them friends, though. Sunset had been the one to show them the ropes at New Horizons, and by the time they went to Canterlot High, she had established herself as the most popular girl in school. They clearly looked up to her, and having the chance to be part of her plans was likely a thrill all on its own. If anything, they were more like her lackeys.

“Hi, Sunset,” Snails said once they arrived at the courtyard. “How’d everything go with the new house?”

“The house is fine, but that’s not what I asked you to come here for.” Sunset looked around to check for anyone listening in, lest she have a repeat of what had just happened with Flash. “I have a job for you two.”

“What kind of job?” Snips asked.

“I want you to find out if Rarity is running for Princess of the Fall Formal. And keep an ear out for anyone else who might be, too.”

“Do you really think she’d try to run against you again?” Snips asked.

“No,” Sunset admitted, then grinned wickedly. “I just want her to remember why she isn’t.”

Snails still looked clueless, but Snips caught on. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure she remembers.”

“Uh, I think she probably already remembers,” Snails added.

“Just make sure!” Sunset barked. “And remember to look out for anyone else who might be getting some ideas.”

“You got it, Sunset!” Snips said as he and Snails ran off.

With that taken care of, all there was left to do was wait. She could go to the cafeteria to try and get some lunch before class started, but she didn’t feel like running into Flash.

She sighed and leaned her back against the statue. It wouldn’t be long now. Soon the portal would be open, and Sunset could return to Equestria.

“And what will we do when we get there?” her voice asked from behind her.

Sunset ignored it.

“Princess Sunset Shimmer,” her voice mocked her. “Going to secure your fourth win at your little school? Tell me they at least change the title to ‘queen’ for that.”

Sunset took a deep breath. She should just go. The voice wasn’t real, and it wouldn’t follow her from the statue.

But she stayed. Anywhere else, she’d have avoided it at all costs. But when it spoke to her from the statue, it was different. It belonged in here, and Sunset was transfixed.

Without turning around, Sunset placed her hand against the statue. She felt fingers curl around hers. “I hate to break it to you, but being queen bitch of a bunch of teenagers isn’t going to count for much once we get back home.”

“I’m just killing time,” Sunset muttered. It was important to control her tone. She shouldn’t engage it at all, but if she was going to, she needed to be quiet enough that she didn’t attract attention.

Her voice cackled from inside the statue. “Do whatever you want for now. What matters is what we’re going to do when the time comes.”

The rules slipped from her mind momentarily, and she raised her voice. “I’m going to find Princess Celestia, and I’m going to make things right.”

“Celestia? She doesn’t need you anymore.” The voice changed to an altogether different one. One she had only spoken with once, but had imagined time and again. “She has me now.”

“I’m going to make things right,” Sunset repeated, then turned around. Where her own reflection should be, she saw a purple unicorn’s. “No matter what that means. And if some little bitch thinks she can get in my way just because Celestia decided to play with her while I was gone, well, then she just doesn’t know who she’s fucking around with.”

The unicorn grinned, then her form twisted. Her colors changed from purple to red, and Sunset stared at a more demonic version of herself. “That’s more like it. We don’t need someone like her hanging around. Get rid of her the second you get the chance.” The demon slid a finger across her throat.

“I’ll decide what to do with her,” Sunset stated clearly.

The demon with her voice just laughed. “Oh, please. There’s no coming back for you anyway. In fact, why stop at your replacement? I think it’s time someone else is in charge. I bet we could take down Celestia.”

“No.”

The demon scowled, and Sunset could feel the heat radiating from the statue. But only for a moment, then she was back to an evil grin. “Suit yourself, Princess. But Celestia won’t take you back. No one in Equestria, this world, or anywhere else could ever forgive someone like you.”

Sunset gently shook her head. “You’re wrong.”

Done arguing with herself, Sunset walked away. She was smart enough to know what was going on. There was no demon that hid in mirrors waiting for Sunset to come around. She didn’t even believe in demons, or any of that supernatural crap. The demon that used her voice and distorted her face was just a manifestation of all the bad parts of herself. All the doubt, and the anger, and the hatred, all of it pooled into one entity created by her mind just to torment her. Sometimes it was hard to remember that, but she did know that it was true.

Which was why she engaged it directly. What good would it do if she went back to Equestria and the demon still followed her? She wanted to believe that all her problems would be gone in Equestria, but there was no way to be sure. So instead, she had to be able to beat it. To not let it have any power over her. If she met it face to face and came out the victor, then what else could it do to her?

The rest of the day was spent figuring out exactly how to do that. She replayed the conversation in her head so much that she kept expecting the demon to pop up somewhere unexpectedly. But to her surprise, nothing else out of the ordinary happened.

Still, she made no headway on beating the demon. She’d already used up most of her lunch time, and her next few classes didn’t prove more productive. By the time she got to her sixth and final class, she was ready to cut her losses.

Sixth period was algebra, and it was her favorite class. Not because of the material, which was far too easy for her, but because of who she shared the class with.

Applejack didn’t sit across the room from Sunset. She didn’t fearfully avoid eye contact. Conversations between the two of them didn’t leave her a stammering mess. While Fluttershy followed along with the rest of the students living in fear of Sunset, Applejack resisted her.

That stubbornness had been a source of frustration for years, just as it had once been one of Sunset’s favorite qualities in her. Every interaction between them saw Sunset trying her best to make Applejack fold like all the others, but she always managed to hold her own, no matter what Sunset threw at her.

It would be a shame. Even after everything that had happened, after everything she had done, Sunset couldn’t help but feel like Applejack would be one of the hardest parts of this world to leave behind.

They were almost at the end of the class period when it hit her. Sunset knew how she could prove the demon wrong, but she wasn’t sure if she could do it. She glanced over at Applejack.

“I don’t think you’re pathetic.”

Applejack had been wrong. Everything that Sunset had done since that day proved it. It was no wonder Sunset had never been able to be part of Applejack’s circle. How could she? All Sunset was capable of doing was pushing people away.

So she would just have to prove that she could be something more. And if anyone in this world deserved that, it was Applejack.

When the class ended, Sunset didn’t pull any stunts to force a meeting. She didn’t try to sneak up on her, or manipulate her in any way. She simply walked over to Applejack’s desk and asked for one. “Hey, Applejack. Can we talk?”

Applejack looked at her skeptically, which was fair. “I don’t know what we’ve got to talk about.”

“Just hear me out. Five minutes.”

Applejack didn’t answer immediately. She stared at Sunset, weighing her options. There was no way to intimidate Applejack into this meeting; she would come or not on her own accord. She stood up and slung her backpack over her shoulder. “Fine. Five minutes.”

Sunset led the way, although she had no idea where to take them. There wasn’t anywhere in particular she wanted to go, just somewhere with no prying eyes. She settled on an out of the way section of lockers.

“We’ve always had a… complicated relationship,” Sunset started.

“Complicated? Guess you could call it that.” Applejack shrugged. “ ‘Course, I’d just say ya always been awful and leave it at that.”

Sunset winced. That was not something she wanted from Applejack. “That’s… that’s true.”

Sunset paused to give Applejack a chance to respond, but she didn’t. It seemed Sunset was going to have to dive headfirst into things. “I get it, you hate me. And you should, it’s all I deserve after everything I’ve done to you. But… I want to apologize.”

Applejack huffed. “Really?”

“Yes. I… I don’t want to end our time at this school together like this. So right now, while I have the chance, I want to apologize for everything. I know it’s not much and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m sorry.”

Applejack chuckled. “So when’re ya plannin’ on pullin’ the rug out from under me this time?”

“What? No, I –”

“Ooh, that country girl’s so stupid, I bet she’ll fall for the same trick all over again!”

“Applejack, it’s not like that!” Sunset couldn’t believe it. She knew it was what she deserved, but she couldn’t believe that she was actually hearing Applejack say it.

“Oh, it’s not? So was it like that in freshman year? What about seventh grade?”

“No! I… I don’t know!” Sunset shook her head. “This time’s different, I promise. I mean it.”

“No. No, you don’t.” Applejack didn’t sound defensive anymore, but she spoke with a finality that was almost worse. “There’s a difference between saying sorry and being sorry. Maybe ya think ya mean it this time, but I know that ya don’t. If you were really sorry about the person you’ve been, then what was that thing with Fluttershy about today?”

Sunset’s breath caught in her throat. Everything felt like it was closing in. Applejack knew about what happened with Fluttershy, and Sunset knew she couldn’t deny that. “That’s not… I’ll apologize to her too. And to everyone.”

“Why?”

Sunset waited for more, but she folded when Applejack proved more stubborn. “What do you mean?”

“Why? Why apologize to anyone at all? You weren’t gonna until I said somethin’, so why change your mind now?”

“I… I don’t…”

“It’s ‘cause ya ain’t really sorry ‘bout a thing you’ve done!” Applejack advanced on Sunset, who shrunk back. “If ya really wanted to apologize, I wouldn’t need to drag ya into doin’ it. So why me, Sunset? Why are ya comin’ to me with all this if it’s not to pull some stupid trick later?”

Why was she? How could Sunset ever explain that to Applejack when she herself had never understood. “You told me… you said that if I ever changed my mind about pushing people away to come talk to you.”

“I told you… are you talkin’ ‘bout that note I wrote when I was twelve?”

Once she said it, Sunset knew how stupid this was.

“I was just a dumb kid,” Applejack said. “I thought that all anyone needed was a friend to help ‘em out, and I thought I could be that friend for you. But you taught me that no one’s gonna change if they don’t want to, and that maybe some people are too cold to change at all. So thanks, Sunset. I never could’ve learned that one without you.”

Things weren’t supposed to be this way. Applejack was the one part of this world that was always supposed to be good. “Applejack, wait…”

“Sorry, Sunset, but your five minutes are up.” Applejack smiled and tipped her hat before walking away. “And you were too late, anyway.”

Sunset just stood in disbelief. She had been so sure that this would work, that no matter what she did, she could always count on Applejack to accept her if she ever changed her mind. She never realized exactly how much she had counted on that.

Sunset fell back against a locker and slid down to the ground. Applejack couldn’t forgive her. And if even Applejack couldn’t, then who in this world, Equestria, or anywhere else ever could?

A shrill cackling could be heard. It was her own voice, and it came from both within and around her. “Well well well. Things not working out as you planned, Princess? You really should have known better. No one could ever care about the real you, after all. But don’t worry about a thing. I’m still here for you. I’ll always be here.”