Looking Glass

by Krickis

9 – On the Finer Points of Delinquency

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There was never anything to do in this town. Sunset sat down by Mirror Pool Lake, skipping stones across it and wishing she were inside. It was mid-December, and the weather had recently taken a turn for the worse. The lake must have started freezing over in the night, as there were still bits of ice floating around it. Soon enough the whole thing would be frozen solid, which would ruin her favorite place to hang out, but at least it was safe for the time being.

Sunset debated leaving, but she didn’t know where else to go. It had been seven years since she had been discovered wandering alone and without her memories, and in that time she had explored everywhere. She had been all over the town, always searching for the por–

‘For answers,’ Sunset reminded herself. Sunset had been looking for answers, and nothing more.

She never found any. In seven years, she never found a place she recognized. No memories flooding back, no sign of who she used to be. Even her name, Sunset Shimmer, was only a possibility. Sure, it was on her bag, but since she had no idea if the bag had even been hers originally, Sunset Shimmer could be anyone.

Whoever she was, Sunset Shimmer was never found, so the name passed on to the girl who was carrying her bag. And she had to admit, Sunset Shimmer felt right. But there were other things that felt right to her. Impossible things.

So she searched. She’d visited every district in town and never once came across anything that resonated with her. Eventually, she gave up. It was the only thing left for her to do. She could keep searching for answers, sacrificing whatever was left of her sanity in the hopes that something would turn up, or she could just resign herself to never knowing. It wasn’t like it really mattered. If anyone from her past was still alive, they clearly didn’t give a damn about her.

Sunset skipped another rock across the lake, watching it bounce a few times before sinking. She sighed and stood up, not sure where she was going to go, but sure she was tired of being there. She shoved her hands into her jacket pocket and started walking aimlessly.

It was too early to go to the library or any of the stores she liked. Best to stay out of the main part of town, really. She could go to Everfree National Park, but she usually avoided that; it was far too close to her least favorite part of the town. She was tempted just to go back to the orphanage. She could sneak into her bedroom, she’d done it before. But it always came with a degree of risk. The noise from opening the window or climbing through it could easily attract one of the caretakers. Unfortunately, that had happened before as well.

Well, standing around wasn’t doing her any favors. She started walking towards some houses. She would be fairly safe in the neighborhood.

That is, if she could get there. While Sunset was still in view of the lake, a car pulled up alongside her. Her first instinct was to run, but that wouldn’t get her anywhere. Instead, she just continued along as if she didn’t notice it.

The car pulled ahead of her before pulling off to the side the road in front of her. Sunset stopped walking and waited. The passenger door opened and a man stepped out. “Sunset Shimmer.”

“Officer Blue Stripe.”

The police officer sighed. “You know you’re supposed to be in school now.”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “What are you talking about? It’s winter break!”

“That’s next week, Sunset.”

“What?” Sunset facepalmed. “Oh man, how did I mix that up? Hey, think you guys could give me a ride to school? Geez, I’ve already missed so much.”

Blue Stripe just stared at her for a second, before opening the back door. “Get in.”

“Thanks, you guys are the best.” Hardly believing he could be so gullible, she climbed into the back of the police car. She turned to the driver. “Hey there, Officer Swift Star. How’s the wife?”

He grunted in response.

“Good to know! Give her my best, won’t ya?”

Once Blue Stripe got into the car, Swift Star started driving. At least the heat was on, so feeling began seeping into Sunset’s fingers and toes again.

She watched the town roll by through the window. Everything was quiet in the world outside. It was a Monday morning, so most of the citizens of the small suburb were likely at work or school. The ones who weren’t would probably be spending the day inside. Some snow had fallen the night before, but it was still warm enough that the sun was making quick work of it. It made for an unappealing day to be outside, as Sunset had found out firsthand. True, no one would need to shovel any snow just yet, but in its place was a layer of slush that covered everything. It was just a cold, wet, miserable day.

Really, school wasn’t looking like a bad place to be. Sunset didn’t like school, but the subjects all came easily to her. If she ever decided she cared, she could easily climb her way through the grades. But she had given up pursuing a better education long ago, and was content to remain in seventh grade. Things were easier that way. She could skip half her classes, ignore most of her homework, sit out on every group assignment, and still ace every test to pass her classes.

Yeah, she’d just go to school, sit in the back of the class, ignore her teachers, and enjoy the heat. She should have just gone in the first place. If anything, her day would actually improve by going to school. So of course, that wasn’t the direction they were heading.

“You’re not bringing me to school, are you?” Sunset asked in an annoyed tone.

“ ‘Fraid not,” Blue Stripe answered.

“Why not?” Although she knew it had no real chance, Sunset had already committed herself to a story. “It was really just a mistake! Come on, I want to go to school!”

“You just want to not be sitting in the back of a cop car,” Swift Star said.

“Nonsense! Would this face lie?” Sunset pointed at her face as she gave the biggest smile she could manage.

“Yes,” they answered together.

Sunset sunk back in her seat, dropping her cheerful persona. “Well damn. There’s no need to be a bunch of dicks about it.” She wasn’t sure why she had assumed anything else would happen; her luck was never that good. There was no need to ask where they were actually going, she already knew.

Sure enough, she recognized the path they were taking. And since the lake was within walking distance to the orphanage, it was only a few minutes until they pulled into New Horizons Home for Children.

Blue Stripe stepped out of the car and opened Sunset’s door for her. Wordlessly, she followed him to the building. There was a time he would have lectured her; it seemed that since he and his partner had been the first people with extended contact with her, he had taken a personal interest in her. But that had been years ago, and Sunset had long since changed his mind. They’d had a few too many run-ins with one another over the years, which usually was a result of Sunset getting caught misbehaving. She was getting better at avoiding the whole getting caught part, but sometimes these things still happened.

Still, there was one person who hadn’t given up on lecturing her. Rose Petal stood waiting for them as they walked in, and her glare was sharp enough that even Sunset turned away from it.

“Good morning, Ms. Rose,” Blue Stripe said in a businesslike tone. Swift Star just waited off to the side, silent as usual. Blue Stripe may have held out hope for Sunset for a while, but Swift Star had always kept whatever feelings he had to himself.

Rose sighed and turned away from Sunset. “Thank you, officers. I’m sorry for the trouble she’s caused you.”

“It’s no trouble at all, ma’am,” Blue Stripe reassured her. “We found her down by Mirror Pool Lake, and it doesn’t seem like she was up to anything. Aside from skipping school, of course.”

“At least there’s that, then.” Rose turned back to Sunset, although she was beginning to look more exasperated than angry. “Oh, Sunset… What am I going to do with you?”

Sunset pointedly looked away.

Blue Stripe scratched at the back of his neck. “Er, have you possibly reconsidered what I said about –”

“It’s still out of the question,” Rose said sharply while fixing a harsh glare on the officer.

He frowned, but still nodded his agreement. “I’m sure you know what’s best for her. Is there anything else we can do for you?”

Rose’s expression softened, leaving no trace of her momentary hostility. “No, I think I can take it from here. Thank you, boys. You’ve been so helpful.”

“You’re quite welcome, ma’am.” Blue Stripe turned to Sunset. “Believe it or not, things would be a lot easier for you if you tried to behave yourself once in a while.”

Sunset just rolled her eyes. Despite what he seemed to think, she did behave herself. Once in a while.

Without any acknowledgment from Sunset, the officers left. She waited expectantly for Rose Petal to lecture her, but she didn’t say anything. It seemed Sunset would have to go first. “I tried to get them to take me to school, for the record.”

“So it was the police officers that kept you from going to school, then?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Rose folded her arms. “Well then, why don’t you tell me what did keep you from school?”

Convincing Rose that she hadn’t done anything wrong wasn’t going to be an option, of course. The best she could hope for was damage control. “I only wanted to skip my first class ‘cause I already finished the project we’re doing, but the rest of the class is still working on it. I wouldn’t be doing anything in that class anyway.”

“Is that so?”

To some extent, it was. The class really was working on a project, and Sunset wouldn’t have been doing anything while they were all working on it. Although in actuality, that was not at all because she was finished with it, as she had no intention of doing it at all. Likewise, she hadn’t planned on going to school after her first class, either. “Yes. I was going to go for the rest of the day, honest.”

“You know very well that you need to go for the whole day, regardless of what you will be doing.”

“But it doesn’t make make any sense!” Sunset said defensively.

“Remind me, what grade did you get in that class on your last report card?”

“I got a C.”

Rose regarded her skeptically. “A C?”

“What? It’s passing!”

“I seem to recall it being a little lower.”

Sunset frowned. New Horizons had twenty-three other kids for her to keep track of; how the hell did she make a point to remember Sunset’s report card? “I thought it was a C.”

“It was a D, but we can check if you’d like.”

There was no need to check. Sunset had known what her grade was. “It’s still passing,” she mumbled.

Rose continued to hold her stare for a few more moments, then broke her composure with a sigh. She walked over to the side of the room and sat in one of the chairs for potential adoptive parents to wait in. She nodded towards the seat next to her, so Sunset sat down as well.

“Sunset,” she said gently, “you’re such a smart girl. I know you could do better if you applied yourself.”

Since she lacked any way to explain herself, Sunset just turned her eyes to the ground.

“What do you think is going to happen if you don’t pull your grades up? You want to work with computers, but you need more than just the knowledge.”

“That’s so stupid,” Sunset said, not directly addressing Rose. “I know enough about computer engineering to practically start a career in it already. Who cares about my grade in history class?”

“That is the world we live in,” Rose said, not unkindly. “All the knowledge in the world won’t help you get into a good college if you don’t have the grades to match.”

Sunset frowned. “And no one will hire me in a competitive field without a college education. It’s stupid, and not fair.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” Rose turned to look directly at Sunset, who still wouldn’t look at her. “There are kids here who are smart, who would do well if given a real chance, but who can’t test well, or just don’t learn best in a school environment. And then, there’s you.”

The return of an accusatory tone caused Sunset to look back at Rose, and she regretted it. The disappointment in her caretaker’s eyes looked all too familiar, and suddenly all she could see was someone else’s magenta eyes staring at her.

“You could excel in school, but you refuse to even make the attempt.”

“You could make friends easily, if only you would put forth the effort.”

“Is school really so bad that that you’ll risk your future to avoid it?”

“Are other ponies so bad that you’d rather be alone instead of trying to befriend them?”

“Sunset… what’s the real problem here?”

“Sunset… what’s the real –”

“I’m sorry,” Sunset said, placing her head in her hands. “I’ll do better, I’ll go to school, I’ll do the work, I’ll get my grades up.” ‘I’ll do anything, just make her go away.’

Recognizing what was happening, Rose changed her tone entirely. “It’s okay, Sunset. There’s no need to worry, we can work on it.”

It was all Sunset could do to nod meekly. She was afraid to pull her hands away from her face, afraid of what she’d see. She did it anyway, refusing to allow herself to look weak in front of Rose Petal. Nothing out of the ordinary was in the room – it was just her and Rose.

“What’s going on, Sunset?”

It was clear Rose wasn’t talking about school anymore. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

Rose gently placed a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. If it had been anyone else, Sunset would never have allowed it. Then again, Rose Petal was the only person who ever tried to touch Sunset in the first place. “You know, I’m always here to talk about anything you’d like.” Rose gave a warm smile. “Somedays I think it’s all these old bones are good for anymore.”

Sunset didn’t want to talk about it. She resolved to put the incident behind her as if it had never happened, turning to face Rose with a carefully composed expression. “I’m ready to go to school now.”

Rose hesitated, and Sunset could tell why. No matter how much she controlled her body language, her voice had sounded frail. “I think it’s well enough into the day that we can just resolve to do better tomorrow.”

Although she had been trying to get out of school the whole day, Sunset didn’t want to miss it for that reason. “I’m fine, I can go.”

“You know, you can take it easy when you have an honest reason to.”

Sunset wanted to argue, but she didn’t. She never did. It didn’t happen often, but hearing things – usually her – wasn’t new to Sunset, and she was always left shaken afterwards. Too shaken to offer any real resistance, especially when the thing she was resisting was the chance to be alone in her own bedroom.

“Okay,” Sunset answered in a defeated tone.

“Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” Rose asked hopefully.

“No.” It was an easy answer; there was nothing to gain from telling Rose what she was experiencing. She would just wind up with another therapy session, in which she’d carefully control her responses to show a perfectly normal girl. The same routine as always.

Rose had also come to realize therapy sessions got them nowhere. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean she had given up on finding something that would work in its place. She waited for a moment, clearly debating if she should push for more, before resigning the day as a loss. “Alright then… Why don’t you relax for a bit, and I’ll come check on you later?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sunset stood up and shuffled to her room. The building was mostly empty since school was in session, so she didn’t meet anyone in the hallway.

She kept her head facing forward as she walked in, not wanting to look at the mirror that hung on the wall beside the door. As tempting as it was to just collapse on her bed, she didn’t like the idea of sitting in silence, so she hit play on her stereo, letting whatever CD was already in begin again.

Softly strummed acoustic guitar chords began playing. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to listen to, but it was a good CD for the moment, so she left it in. The gentle sounds of the folk album would be calming, which was what she needed.

Sunset sat on her bed and sighed. She looked around the room for a bit, trying to figure out what to do with her time. That was her life these days – she was either trying to shrug off responsibility to get some free time, or trying to figure out how to fill it once she had it.

Lacking anything else to do, Sunset grabbed a book. She wasn’t really in the mood to read, but it would pass the time. The CD eventually came to an end while she read. True to her word, Rose Petal stopped in to check on her after a few hours, and was relieved to find Sunset was looking better.

By the time other kids began to return from school, Sunset’s boredom had peaked. She needed to go out for a bit, but wasn’t so sure that Rose would be okay with it. Even though Sunset was clearly more relaxed now, her caretaker would probably want her to take it easy.

Not that she would let that be a problem. She put away her book and turned instead to her stereo, ejecting the folk CD from earlier. She chose a very different one to replace it. A distorted guitar drone sounded, followed by the drummer counting the band in, then the sudden start of the full band launching into a synchronized explosion of noise. She turned the volume up, careful to leave it low enough so that no one would complain, but loud enough that everyone would know she didn’t want to be disturbed.

With her distraction in place, she grabbed her purse and moved to the window. No one was in sight, so she opened it up and climbed out, closing it behind her. She shoved her hands into her pockets and began walking.

She’d bought herself an hour. After that, the CD would be over and she would no longer be guaranteed any privacy. An hour was more than enough time, though. The store she walked to was only twenty minutes away at a leisurely pace, and the cold motivated her to move faster.

Along the way, Sunset contemplated how much she would follow through on her promise to do better in school. On the one hand, Rose made a valid point about her future. On the other, Sunset wasn’t sure if she really cared.

In the end, she would just do whatever she felt like at any given time, so it didn’t really matter too much. By the time she arrived at the store she had already put the issue behind her.

The warm air as she walked in was a welcome relief. The young man behind the counter greeted her with a smirk. “Well if it isn’t my favorite customer.”

‘Good, he’s here.’ The cashier was nothing short of a creep. He was out of school, so he had to be at least eighteen. And still, he was always distinctly flirtatious every time Sunset had seen him, despite the fact that she was twelve. She worked it to her advantage. “Hmm, favorite? You sure about that?”

“Of course.” He leaned across the counter as he talked, so sure that she thought he was oh-so-cool.

Sunset grinned and gave an overly exaggerated eye roll, which ended with her eyes pointed directly at his. “If you say so. I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

‘Thank goodness for that.’ He seemed harmless enough, but Sunset was always content in the knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to follow her once she left the store. Still, his creepiness had its advantages – she sailed right past his suspicions.

The store was Sunset’s favorite for reasons other than the willfully blind cashier. It was large enough that the aisles made for suitable hiding places, leaving her only visible to others within the same aisle, and yet it was small enough that it didn’t have a dedicated liquor section.

She found the beverage aisle completely empty, as she had hoped. It was too early for the after-work rush, and too cold out for many people to want to shop anyway. Free of prying eyes, Sunset casually walked along the wine bottles and grabbed one without stopping, slipping it into her purse as she went. It was the only reason she ever carried a purse; backpacks had to be left at the front of the store, but purses went unquestioned. Even, apparently, oversized purses. Ridiculous fashion trends were good for something, it seemed.

Further along the same aisle, she stopped to grab a two liter bottle of soda. It was the perfect cover-up, since no one would question why a kid would walk to the store for a bottle of soda.

Without wasting any time, she brought her purchase up to the counter. The wine bottle weighed down her purse, but it didn’t create too much of a visible difference. And of all the things that sleaze might have been paying attention to, Sunset doubted her purse was what he had on his mind.

“Just this?” he asked as he rang up the soda.

“Yeah, that’ll do it.” Sunset pulled out her wallet, discreetly keeping the bottle tucked away. “Unless I can pay for a candy bar with my good looks.”

“Hmm…” For a moment he looked like he might have actually been considering it, but thankfully he shrugged off the request. “Ask me again in a couple years, maybe.”

Fighting back the urge to remind him she’d still be a minor in a couple years, Sunset paid for her soda and left as quickly as she could without causing any sort of alarm. Not that she was worried he’d ask to check her purse – she’d been doing that sort of thing for years, and knew she’d get away with it – but everything about him gave her the creeps. She still stopped to give a friendly wave on the way out, though. Creep or not, she wanted him to stay hopelessly oblivious to her behavior.

The walk back was spent trying to decide how to while away the rest of the day. She couldn’t keep sneaking off in hour long intervals, so resigning herself to spend the day inside seemed like the only thing to do.

The CD was still playing when she returned, as she knew it would be. She carefully climbed in through the window, closing it soundlessly behind her. Leaving the CD playing to cover any further noises, she shifted her mattress to get to the box spring underneath, which had a hole in its fabric covering. It had always been there. They must have decided that since it hardly impacted the effectiveness, they might as well still use it. Sunset was very grateful for this oversight.

When it came down to it, she didn’t trust anyone. She suspected that while the kids were at school, at least some of the caretakers were nosy enough to go looking through their belongings. She’d get caught easily if she were using any of the default hiding places – under the bed, in the closet, in her dresser drawers. They were all too predictable. But no one would ever think to check inside the box frame.

She reached through the hole, stretching her arm as far as she could. Even if someone decided to check the hole, for whatever reason, they still wouldn’t know where her stash was hidden.

Her fingers found the pillowcase, and she pulled it towards her. A small shiver ran down her spine as she opened it, revealing the brown journal tucked away inside.

She ignored it, and reached for her purse instead. For whatever reason, the brand of wine she had grabbed had always been Sunset’s favorite. She suspected it was the label, which depicted a sun that could either be rising or setting. The overblown name, Versant du Soleil, amused her as well. She suspected it was just a marketing ploy designed to make the wine seem fancier because it had a foreign name.

But it would have to wait until later. Even Sunset wasn’t bold enough to start drinking in the middle of the afternoon, when people were awake. She shoved it in the pillowcase, making a point to place it on top of the book so she could just reach in and grab it without being reminded of what else was hidden away. Not that she ever forgot.

Once she tucked the pillow case back into the corner of the box spring, Sunset replaced the mattress. Since she didn’t really feel like listening to something so angry, she stopped the CD before flopping onto the bed. With nothing else to do, she sighed and picked up her book again.