Looking Glass

by Krickis


30 – Reflections

Chapter Thirty
Reflections


The throne room in Canterlot Castle had seen many things throughout the ages. It had been damaged in attacks made against the city, and it had been repaired in the aftermath. It had been decorated for formal events and meetings with foreign representatives, which at times had gone perfectly, and at others had been disastrous. It had been a daily meeting room for ponies to bring forth their concerns to their princess, their voices echoing throughout the room until it was hard to tell who was speaking.

This was not one of those days. The room was mostly dark, with much of the light being moonlight filtering in through the large stained glass windows. A few candles had also been brought into the room so that it could be lit through the night without the need for the large chandelier.

It was also very quiet. The only sounds echoing through the room were hoofsteps as its only occupant paced around. She would occasionally sigh or mutter to herself, but those sounds were too quiet to carry. Once she returned to her seat, the room would be completely silent once more, but for now, she was stretching her legs.

But even if the room around her was quiet, the thoughts that danced through Celestia’s mind could not have been louder. The sound of her hooves on the marble floor didn’t register over the memory of the day before.

The sound of the door opening did, but not enough to fully pull her from her thoughts. It wasn’t until a stallion spoke that Celestia turned away from the floor.

“I beg your pardon for the intrusion, Your Highness.”

Celestia stared at him for a moment while blinking a few times. Stout Shield, the Captain of the Celestial Guard, was bowing before her. Celestia’s voice sounded dazed when she answered. “Stout Shield? Is everything okay?”

The pegasus rose from his bow. “Everything is peaceful within the city, Princess.”

Celestia turned away, but her voice returned to normal as she managed to shake herself free from the trappings of her mind. “Good. I was concerned; it is not often I see you awake during the night.”

Stout Shield took a moment to answer, and there was hesitation in his voice. “It’s morning, Princess. Your subjects are wondering why the sun has not risen.”

“Morning?” Celestia’s head popped back up and she looked absent-mindedly towards a window. “Yes, of course. It is time for me to raise the sun.”

Stout Shield moved to one side of the walkway so that she could pass. Celestia wondered if that movement was as automatic as her turning to the window had been. She didn’t immediately leave the room. “Err, what time is it now, exactly?”

“Nine o’clock, Princess.”

Celestia winced. She’d missed sunrise by hours. Her little ponies had to be in a panic because of her; just another mistake to add to the list. “Thank you, Stout Shield.”

Although she knew she should leave, Celestia turned her attention elsewhere first. Near the throne, there was a large mirror. Celestia stared at it while trying to make up her mind.

But there was no choice, not really. Celestia was the Princess of the Sun, and yet the sun was hours late to rise. Equestria could not start its day without its sun.

Celestia turned back to Stout Shield. “Will you wait here while I go? I won’t be long.”

He looked perplexed, and for a moment, Celestia thought he might decline. “Of course, Princess. Anything you require.”

Of course. The guard was not accustomed to her asking for requests, so he was taken by surprise that she hadn’t simply ordered him to stand watch. That was all. There was no point in overthinking things, and she had work to do.

She left the throne room and walked through the castle as quickly as she could. Ponies stopped to watch her as she went, no doubt confused by her tardiness. Nopony alive could remember when she had last needed somepony to remind her to raise the sun. That had been nearly one thousand years ago.

Celestia did not fly very often. Under better circumstances, she did find flying to be quite enjoyable, but she seldom got the chance. Her days were spent in castle walls, visiting her school, or attending events within the city, none of which usually gave her the chance to take flight.

So it was odd for her to step onto a balcony and spread her wings, but that would make for an easy shortcut to the balcony of her room. She did not find the flight enjoyable, however. She scarcely noticed it at all.

From her balcony, Celestia could see all of Canterlot, as well as much of the land beyond it. It was a breathtaking sight, but Celestia paid it no mind. She looked instead toward the sky, focusing first on the moon. Her horn glowed gold, and the moon descended more rapidly than it ought to have.

Some ponies claimed that Celestia’s sunrises would change depending on her mood. Several of the castle staff would even change all their interactions with her depending on how they interpreted the sunrise. It was hard to tell what they might think of this one, for the sun rose into the sky in almost an instant; had a pony looked away at the right moment, the sky would have gone from midnight to morning without their realizing.

Celestia did not take much time to contemplate this now, as she was only interested in raising the sun because Equestria needed it to start the day. Still, she knew she’d likely be thinking about it in the coming hours. There was little else for her to do, as she’d taken the chance the day before to cancel all her appointments for the day. She still hoped that it would be a day off spent in celebration, even after the sleepless night before.

Just as she had come, Celestia flew off her balcony. She entered the castle proper again and retraced her steps to the throne room. Although she knew it was foolish, she still found herself hopeful that everything would be fixed when she was through the door.

But it wasn’t. The only pony waiting for her within the throne room was Stout Shield, who stood at attention as she entered.

Celestia sighed and walked past him. “Thank you, Stout Shield. You may go about your duties now.”

“Yes, Princess.”

With nothing else to do, Celestia walked over to a long table against a wall. It was a place for ponies to rest as they waited for their chance to meet with their princess, but nopony aside from Celestia would be using it today.

As Celestia took a seat, Stout Shield spoke from behind her. “Your Highness, if I may… I could stand watch in the throne room, if you wish.”

Celestia hadn’t realized he was still there. She looked back at him and smiled. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.”

Stout Shield frowned and took a step forward. “Princess, please. You have been awake all night, and there is no need for you to wait personally. I know I failed yesterday, but I will not fail you again.”

It took a moment for Celestia to realize why he thought he had failed her the day before. “As I told you yesterday, there was nothing you could have done. I would like to be the one waiting here for my own reasons.”

Stout Shield seemed to consider her words, then nodded. “Understood. But, Princess? You did the right thing. Equestria will be better off without Suns–”

“You have been dismissed,” Celestia said sharply.

Stout Shield took a step back and stared open-mouthed at Celestia. The edge in her voice had not been intended, nor was the glare she fixed on him. He made a quick bow. “Forgive me, Your Highness. I spoke out of turn.”

After a moment of pointed silence, Stout Shield left the room. Celestia watched until the door was closed behind him, then hung her head.

Her crown fell onto the table, and Celestia left it where it lay. She didn’t feel very much like a princess today. She rose to her hooves and walked across the room.

Stout Shield didn’t understand. Nopony would. They saw what was on the surface, and Celestia was well aware of how that must look. But what nopony ever realized was that it was all Celestia’s fault.

She approached the mirror, but didn’t look directly into it. Instead she traced a hoof around its edges, focusing on the gemstones that were embedded into its border. They weren’t of particular interest to her, but there was only one thing within the mirror that was, and Celestia knew it was foolish to hope that she’d come back.

“Sunset Shimmer… I’m so very sorry.” Celestia finally looked into the mirror, and saw nothing more than what she’d expected. She saw herself standing in front of it; she didn’t have her crown, but she otherwise looked just as she always did. She saw a pony that was regarded as radiant by many, but who could never live up to those expectations.

She saw a pony who was beloved by many, but who had always been cold and detached from those she cared about. A pony who thought too seldom about how those close to her might feel, who had always assumed that as long as everything was done by the book, then everything would work out in the end.

She saw a pony who had made colossal mistakes. A pony who had taken it unto herself to be the sole guardian and guiding light in one wonderful little filly’s life, even though she had neither the time nor the ability to ever be more than a teacher. She saw a pony who had refused to question herself, refused to see that she may have been wrong at times.

And now she saw somepony who was alone again. It was just like when she had failed Luna, and allowed her own sister to fall into darkness and suffering. How many times would she fail? However many times the sun would rise.

Equestria could not start the day without its sun, but now it seemed that Celestia would have to.

Celestia tore her eyes away from the mirror. There were two more days before the portal closed, she reminded herself. Two more days for Sunset to come home to her.

With nothing else to do, Celestia returned to the desk. A stack of paper sat on top of it – work Celestia could do to keep herself busy as she waited. She gave it the smallest of glances before pushing it aside.

Instead, she pulled out a blank piece of paper and a quill. She took a deep breath and watched it, as if expecting something to happen. She stared until the silence became unbearable, then placed her quill to the page. She imagined there was somepony else beside her to read the letter she was about to write, and managed to smile, just a little.

‘Dear Sunset Shimmer…’


‘Easier’ was a strange word. On the surface, it was so simple. If something was easier then it was less difficult.

But there were many ways that simple concept could work in practice. Sometimes things were easier to live with because they hurt less. The sting of an argument often faded with time, and ponies could move on with little more than an unpleasant memory of bad events.

Sometimes that wasn’t an option. But then things could grow easier as a pony thought about the painful experience less often. Ponies would find other ways to occupy their time, and the day would come when the memory simply stopped popping up.

But as Celestia stared into the mirror and reflected on the past, it was clear that she would not be afforded either luxury. There were things that filled her time, even things she enjoyed – she still found pleasure in spending time with Cadance or meeting with old friends. But it had been thirty moons since Sunset Shimmer had left, over two years that Celestia had been without her, and the pain had never gone away.

The throne room door opened and Celestia turned and smiled, because things had gotten easier. Celestia was still plagued by intrusive thoughts and nightmares every day, and there was no sign of that stopping. But she was also getting used to that, just as she had needed to get used to Luna’s absence. It was easier simply because Celestia had learned to continue with her life in spite of the pain.

A young filly ran ahead of the guard that was chaperoning her. “Good afternoon, Princess!”

Twilight Sparkle reminded Celestia of Sunset Shimmer in so many ways. She was the only filly that could rival Sunset’s appetite for learning, and Celestia was sure that if she was shown the right path, Twilight would excel at anything she set her mind on.

But she had to be shown the right path. Celestia knew that she might never get the chance to make up for her faults in raising Sunset. For years, she had taught her gifted student to excel, praised and rewarded her for every academic achievement, and assumed that was all that was needed. And what had Celestia taught her of other virtues? When had Celestia shown Sunset that there was any reason to care about anything other than being ‘gifted’?

“Greetings, my faithful student. And how are you doing today?”

If Celestia could not make amends for the mistakes she had made in raising Sunset, then the best thing she could do would be to learn from her mistake. She would do whatever she could to teach Twilight of faithfulness, compassion, fairness, and everything else that she never managed to teach Sunset. Not through dull lectures, but through her actions whenever possible.

There were limited lessons she could teach on a day like this one, however. Celestia would not leave the throne room for the next few days, not until the portal closed again. But since Twilight was so young, she still did most of her learning at the school, meaning there needn’t be more to their lesson than a simple conversation.

They talked about things that Twilight was learning, about her teacher, and most importantly, they talked about the other students in Twilight’s class. Celestia was pleased to hear Twilight had a group of fillies that she was friends with, although she couldn’t help but feel that Twilight seemed to still be prioritizing her lessons over her friends.

But there was definitely something more than her desire to learn. Twilight did have a lot of compassion for others, and it showed when she talked about her family. It seemed that she had an easier time accepting them since they were already part of her world, whereas her school friends could scarcely keep up. Celestia made a mental note to add learning to compromise to Twilight’s lessons.

Things did get easier, in their own way. Celestia had learned to live alongside the pain that didn’t seem to be going anywhere. And hearts were curious things; no matter how full they seemed to be, they could always fit more. The joy she felt because of Twilight didn’t seem to push away the sorrow of losing Sunset, but it did give her something to look forward to again.

But the lesson couldn’t last forever. A member of the guard came to escort Twilight back to her family, and Celestia was left to her own devices once more. She took a seat at the table and looked down at the book she’d been contemplating for years.

It had taken some time for Celestia to go through Sunset’s room. The memories held within were painful to recount, and she hadn’t thought there was anything to be gained from it. But when she eventually did, she was surprised to see a particular book was nowhere to be found.

Perhaps she had gotten rid of it, a sign of teenage rebellion at her failed mentor. Perhaps it had been misplaced, forgotten in a library and buried with some other books where nopony would notice. Perhaps it had been recognized by somepony as a magical artifact and stolen from the abandoned room before Celestia had ever set hoof in it.

Or perhaps it was sitting by its owner, a world away from where Celestia stared at its twin. She opened the journal that had her cutie mark on the cover, and turned to the last page with any writing on, just as she had done countless times before.

I was thinking about that mirror, and I still can’t figure it out.

Sunset, I have told you already, you’ll learn about the mirror in due time.

The final messages that were sent between the two journals. Celestia had read them over and over, wondering why she hadn’t tried to explain the mirror better, how she had let the situation get as far as their argument in the library, why she had allowed anger to bring her to say such awful things.

Celestia raised a quill to the page, but stopped short of writing anything, just as she had done countless times before. If Sunset had her journal, then she had chosen not to write anything in the years she had been away. She might finally have found what she wanted, and she may no longer need a failed mentor to find new ways to let her down.

If Sunset was happy in her new home, then any lingering misery Celestia may feel was unimportant. And maybe, after enough time had passed for Sunset to forgive the foolishness of an old mare, she may someday decide to use her journal to write to Celestia again.

Celestia put the quill away. It was a nice thought, and she didn’t want to do anything to ruin it.


It was a bit ironic that one of the faults in herself that Celestia was aware of was her tendency to not notice her own faults until it was too late. Once Sunset had left, Celestia had been able to see how her actions had contributed to that, not only in the argument but for years  before it. And as more years passed, she began questioning if she had been continuously failing her student for the past sixty moons.

It could be truthfully said that Celestia was not quick to take action. Millennia spent ruling Equestria had taught her the virtue of patience and avoiding rash decisions. But at times, action needed to be taken, and Celestia was coming to realize that she had let that time pass her by twice so far.

Well, once the portal opened again, Celestia was ready for it. Rather than mope around her throne room in the vain hope that Sunset Shimmer would come home this time, she had gone through it herself.

It was astounding. The world on the other side seemed to be as far removed from Equestria as it could be. The biggest change was to her own form – Celestia wasn’t sure what kind of creature she was, but she was not a pony. Most of the first day was wasted acclimating to a bipedal form.

“Excuse me, do you know anyone by the name Sunset Shimmer?” Celestia asked a passerby at random.

“Can’t say that I do, sorry.”

Celestia sighed. It was the same reaction she’d been getting over and over. “Alright, thank you.”

She contemplated her next move, but before she could do anything, Stout Shield walked up to her. Celestia had wanted to bring a platoon of guards to help with the search, but knew better than to risk upsetting the balance of another world, especially since she had no reason to suspect Sunset was in any danger. In the end, she had brought only Stout Shield under strict orders to keep a low profile.

“Were you able to find anything?” Celestia asked.

“I’ve learned some things about this world, but nothing of Sunset.” He looked up into the sky, and Celestia knew what was coming next. “I think it would be best for us to return to the portal.”

“But we haven’t found her yet,” Celestia said desperately. “She has to be here somewhere, I won’t give up on her!”

“If we stay much longer, we’ll be stuck here.”

Celestia glanced up at the moon. Within an hour, it would reach its peak and the portal would close, while they still needed to walk back. “You go ahead. I’ll look around a little bit more and follow behind you.”

Stout Shield shook his head. “I am sorry, Princess, but I have a duty to Equestria to bring you back. You can take whatever actions you want afterwards, but I will not leave Equestria without its princess.”

Celestia turned to him and narrowed her eyes. “What are you implying?”

He held her gaze for a moment, then folded. “Celestia, please… I know you want to find proof that she’s okay, but be reasonable.”

Celestia was caught off guard by his informal request, which forced her to reflect on his words. There was no denying that he had a point.

“We have been searching for three days,” he continued. “And yet we don’t have a single lead. Today I managed to find out more about the city we’re in, and we’ve barely covered a small fraction of it. We don’t know if she’s still within this city, and we have no way of knowing how large this world is. An organized search in Canterlot could take longer, and here we have nothing.”

“So I just give up on her!?” Celestia threw her arms out in frustration. “She’s somewhere in this world, and I need to find her!”

“Who are you doing this for, her or you?” Stout Shield gestured around them. “While we’ve been in this world, no one has tried to harm us in any way. The inhabitants here seem peaceful, and we’re clearly in an organized society. Sunset Shimmer is a resourceful mare who has no doubt managed to fit in to the world around her. The only thing you’re after is your own peace of mind.”

Celestia closed her eyes and was silent for a moment. Her voice was quiet when she spoke. “Is that really so awful?”

She felt a hand on her shoulder. “Look, I understand that this is hard. But you have millions of ponies that need you back home, including Twilight Sparkle and Cadance. In thirty moons the portal will be open again, and now that we know what we’re dealing with, we can organize a proper search party next time. But right now, we need to get home.”

There was no denying that he was right, but it was difficult to take the first steps back towards the portal. It was at least made slightly easier by the company, however. “Thank you, Stout Shield. I’m glad I brought you with me.”

“Of course, Princess. And I’m sorry you weren’t able to get your closure.”

Celestia took one more look around. The world they were in didn’t seem dangerous, and Sunset was very resourceful. “It might’ve helped more than you think.”


It had been seven years since Celestia had last seen Sunset Shimmer. She was back at the mirror once more, staring at her reflection. The portal had been open for over two days, and she hadn’t ordered a search party. In one more day, the portal would be closed again, and she’d miss out on yet another chance to bring Sunset Shimmer home.

The throne room door opened, and the sound of hoofsteps echoed in the otherwise quiet room. Celestia did not have to look back to see whom they belonged to.

“No sign of her?” Stout Shield asked.

“No.” Celestia turned away from the mirror to look at him. The past seven years had seen him growing older, and Celestia had barely noticed. It was only when his official resignation had been brought to her that she realized how much time had been passing while she was preoccupied. “How did everything go?”

Stout Shield smirked. “Everything went off without a hitch. Everyone recognizes that Shining Armor is the right choice for my replacement, and he’s doing a great job so far.”

Shining Armor was Twilight Sparkle’s brother, Cadance’s coltfriend, and would soon be the Captain of the Celestial Guard. Celestia had met him several times due to all of those circumstances, and yet, she hardly knew anything about him. He was yet more proof that while seven years may not be very long to somepony like Celestia, it was a long time for any of her little ponies.

“You’re sure he’s not too young?”

Stout Shield chuckled. “If he was getting the job right now? Yeah, probably. But I’ll still be here for another year or so, and I’ll make sure he’s up to snuff when the time comes.”

“Yes, of course. I have every confidence in you.”

Celestia turned back to the mirror. Seven years was a long time for any of her little ponies, including Sunset Shimmer.

Stout Shield’s reflection appeared next to Celestia’s, and his voice was much more reserved when he spoke. “There’s still tonight and tomorrow left. It’s a bit last minute, but I could stage that search party.”

Celestia searched her reflection for something, some sign of what to do. She saw nothing, but it didn’t matter. She had already made up her mind. “No, I don’t think there will be a need for that.”

Stout Shield nodded. “As you wish, Princess.”

These past seven years had been spent with too much reflection, so finally, she turned away from the mirror. “It’s time for me to lower the sun. After that, I shall return to my room for rest.”

Stout Shield’s ears perked up. He followed her as she walked away. “Would you like me to stand watch by the mirror tonight?”

Celestia showed him a smile. “I thank you, but no. In fact, I would like for you to arrange for it to be moved. Somewhere safe, but out of the way.”

It seemed Stout Shield understood exactly what she meant. “Of course. I believe one of the rooms on the third floor of the east wing would be well suited.”

The area he mentioned was deep in the castle, meaning it was unlikely to be stumbled upon by ponies passing through. “That sounds perfect.”

They reached the door of the throne room, and Celestia stopped. She hung her head and allowed for one more moment of lingering doubt. “Do you… think Sunset could be happy in that world?”

Stout Shield smiled warmly. “Yes, I do.”

Celestia smiled as well. “Thank you.”

Seven years brought many changes. Stout Shield was growing older, too old to be bothered to run the entire Celestial Guard. But he was looking forward to a comparatively easier job as part of Celestia’s personal guard, and to his retirement after that. He talked of seeing the lands beyond Equestria, determined to make his life an adventure to the end.

After seven years, Twilight Sparkle was no longer a little filly. At sixteen, she was growing into a young mare, and Celestia was exceedingly proud of her faithful student. She still struggled with friendship, but she had many years yet to grow.

Seven years ago, Cadance was still shadowing Celestia, learning how to be a princess before she had any responsibilities of her own. Now, she had been crowned as the Princess of Love, and was beginning to take on an active role in Equestria’s leadership. Meanwhile, her coltfriend had advanced through the ranks of the Celestial Guard rapidly, and was soon to be its next captain. There was already talk of wedding bells in their future.

Even somepony like Celestia could feel the effect seven years had on her. Things got easier. She knew Sunset’s departure would always weigh heavily on her, but these days, she thought about that less. The nightmares had subsided, and the painful flashbacks were less frequent.

In their place, she thought more about the good times she had shared with Sunset Shimmer. The day Sunset got her cutie mark, and Celestia was perhaps more happy than she should be to see it was a sun. The day she had been able to separate Sunset from her parents, and the look on her face when she was invited to live in the castle. The time Sunset had tried her hoof at knitting, just to make Celestia a scarf for Hearth’s Warming.

Celestia stepped out onto the balcony of her room and looked out at the sun. Her horn glowed gold and she set it on a slow descent. Just before it could disappear beyond the horizon, she allowed it to linger for just a few moments longer, so that the sky would burn amber, red, and yellow.

Seven years brought about a lot of change for everypony. Perhaps it was enough time for Sunset to finally find happiness.

“Good night, my gifted student.”


Something getting easier was not the same as it being easy. In the years that followed the mirror being put away, Celestia found herself thinking less and less about the loss of her student, but the pain remained whenever she did find herself thinking of it.

Knowing that the portal was open again certainly brought those memories coming back. Although Celestia did resist the urge to spend the night in front of the mirror, she still found herself unable to get anything done. She wound up cancelling her appointments, rescheduling even her lessons with Twilight.

By the time it occurred to her that lying alone in bed for three days wasn’t quite so relaxing as she had hoped, she had already made the arrangements. But while it would be far better to find something productive to fill her time, Celestia couldn’t find the willpower to do it. Wasting another day was miserable, but it was also much easier.

There were a number of distractions available to her. Books that she’d been meaning to catch up on or reports that needed her attention, but she found herself picking them up, skimming a page, and setting them back down. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to work, but thoughts jumbled in her head when she tried to focus, and she would need to reread the same passage over and over before understanding it.

It came as a relief when somepony knocked on the door. Since she had no appointments for the day, the chance was high that it was related to some sort of urgent problem that she’d need to sort through, and still, it was a relief.

“Come in,” Celestia called as she rolled over into a sitting position.

The door opened to reveal a young mare. A purple unicorn, and not somepony Celestia would have expected. “Good morning, Princess. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“No, not at all.” Celestia smiled at both her guest and the unexpected turn of events. “It’s a pleasure to see you, my faithful student. Please, come in.”

Twilight levitated in a covered mug as she entered the room. “I brought some soup to help you feel better. Don’t worry, Spike’s the one who made it, so it’s perfectly safe to eat.”

That was a relief to hear; her student excelled at a great many things, but cooking was not one of them. “Thank you, Twilight. That’s very thoughtful of you.” Celestia took the mug in her own magic and levitated it over. Pulling off the lid let out an aroma that Celestia was sure would make her feel better all by itself if she were truly ill.

“It’s got carrots for the beta-carotene, onions because the phytochemicals boost vitamin C, sweet potatoes for vitamin D…”

Celestia smiled along as Twilight listed what was in the soup and exactly why it was in the soup. She sipped it through Twilight’s explanation and patiently waited until she was done before speaking. “I see you put quite a lot of thought into this. And just as important, it’s very tasty.”

Twilight beamed at the praise. “I just hope it’s able to help. Are you feeling any better than yesterday?”

Any better? Not likely until the portal was closed again, and Celestia could resign herself to the fact another thirty moons had come and gone. “I think the rest is helping. I’m certain I’ll be back on my hooves in a matter of days.”

“That’s a relief to hear. I didn’t even think you could get sick.”

Celestia chuckled. “I am perhaps more resistant to sickness than most ponies, but I am only a pony, Twilight.”

Twilight looked off to the side in embarrassment. “Right, of course.”

“I just hope my absence isn’t causing too much trouble for everypony. Rescheduling appointments is always a hassle for everypony involved…”

“I’m sure no one sees it that way.” Twilight smiled. “I talked to Raven on the way in, and she said that ponies have been sending their well wishes.”

Although that was certainly true, Celestia suspected many of them were only doing so to be polite. “That is good to hear.”

“I actually met a mare looking for you yesterday.”

“A mare?” Against her better judgement, Celestia felt her heart start racing.

“Uh huh. She was wandering around the castle when I found her, I guess she wasn’t very familiar with it. But as soon as I told her you were sick, she changed her mind about interrupting you.”

“She wasn’t…” Celestia shook her head. Not only would Sunset Shimmer have known her way around the castle, if she had returned with the intent of seeing Celestia, she definitely wouldn’t be so easily dissuaded. This had gone on too long, and Celestia really needed to stop tormenting herself with false hope. “Never mind. I’m sure she’ll be back once I’m accepting visitors again.”

“Oh!” Concern flashed across Twilight’s face. “I’m sorry, you’re supposed to be resting.”

Celestia chuckled. “I don’t think I’m quite so sick that a chat with my student is going to make anything worse. It’s nice to have some company.”

“Then would you like me to stay for a while?”

Twilight’s optimistic expression warmed Celestia’s heart and chased away some of the bad feelings. “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

Nine years had gone by since Sunset Shimmer had left Equestria, and it still hurt to think about. But things did get easier, day by day. Sometimes it was hard to keep from dwelling on the past, but at the end of the day, all there was to do was keep pushing forward.

With no other obligations, Celestia was able to talk with her pupil for hours. But they didn’t discuss magic or any other lessons; they simply talked. They talked about Spike, and what it was like raising a baby dragon. They talked about the apartment that Twilight and Spike had moved into recently. They talked about books, plays, music, and art, both classic and contemporary.

There were so many things in the world to talk about, and there was no need for their relationship to revolve solely around Twilight’s academic studies. Celestia did not make enough time for meetings like this, not with Twilight in recent years, and not with Sunset in the past. How different might her pupil’s worldview have been if Celestia had encouraged her to take her time more often?

But that was the past, and it was past time to stop living in it. All she could do for Sunset was hope that she was happy where she was. Twilight, on the other hoof, was still growing, and it was not too late for Celestia to have a positive impact on her.

“I think I better get home before Spike starts to worry,” Twilight said eventually. “We’re supposed to have lunch together.”

“Yes, of course.” Celestia passed Twilight the long-empty mug. “Give him my regards.”

“Will do!” Twilight stood up and walked to the door, then stopped to say her goodbyes. “It was nice talking, and I hope you feel better soon.”

“Twilight…” Celestia’s eyes flicked away for a moment before turning back to her student. Making enough time for Sunset outside of lessons wasn’t the only thing that Celestia hadn’t managed to do. She’d promised herself that she would do better with Twilight, but in at least one area, she had never quite managed that.

“Is there something I can do for you?” Twilight asked as Celestia struggled to find the right words.

“No, it’s just… I wanted to say that I’m very happy to have you as my student.” Happy to have her as a student? Surely she could do better than that. “That is, I wanted to make sure you to know that I... I care about you very much.”

Although Celestia’s words fell flat to her own ears, Twilight was still beaming. “Thank you, Princess. I’ll try my best to make you proud!”

Sunset and Twilight were very different ponies, really. Celestia cared about both of them, and despite the timing of everything, she had never felt like Twilight replaced Sunset as her student. But as she closed her eyes, she could see an amber-colored filly standing in front of her, making the same reassurances.

“I’ll do my best to live up to that, Princess.”

“My dear student, you already have.”


This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. This should be a joyous time of celebration, a chance to make up for past wrongs and try again. Celestia should be sitting inside with Sunset as they rebuilt a connection that had been severed for eleven long years. Twilight, Luna, and Cadance would be with them, and all the ponies most important to her could all be together for the first time.

Instead, she was sitting on a balcony overlooking the Crystal Empire and hoping that Twilight would not come back alone when she returned through the portal. But there were only a few more hours before the portal closed, and Celestia was too nervous to be optimistic.

‘It’s okay,’ she told herself for the hundredth time. ‘I won’t lose both of them.’

“Still no sign of her.”

Celestia looked over her shoulder to see her niece walking onto the balcony. “How is everypony holding up?”

Cadance sat down beside Celestia. “They’re keeping themselves preoccupied, but Twilight’s friends have faith in her. They know she’ll be back soon.”

Celestia wished she could be so sure. “Of course.”

They sat in silence for a while, and Celestia wasn’t looking forward to where the conversation was going. It would be nice to have someone beside her that could relate to how she felt, but Cadance had never had a positive relationship with Sunset. Still, Celestia was sure Cadance would be happy to look past what happened when they were teenagers, if only that were the only issue…

“I don’t understand why Sunset would do this…” Cadance said after a while.

“I wish I had that answer as well.” Celestia knew that Cadance wanted some sort of rationalization, some insight that Celestia might have to her pupil’s behavior, but there was nothing she could say. “We’ll know more once Twilight is back.”

“Hopefully…” Cadance gave Celestia a concerned look before hardening her expression. “The guard that was attacked is awake now. Shining’s with him.”

“That is a relief to hear.” A relief that would surely be tempered with hard news. “I suppose it would be pointless to ask the description of his attacker.”

“She gave him her name, auntie… He said that she wanted you to know who was responsible.”

Everypony had already known Sunset was responsible. In addition to the theft of Twilight’s crown, the library had suffered extensive fire damage on the same night. The guards flocked to the fire, leaving less protection on the way to the crown. The timing fit, and they had a clear motive. That would have been enough even without the librarian’s eyewitness account, which incriminated a mare matching Sunset’s description.

But it was still disconcerting to hear that she had left her name, and for Celestia specifically. It seemed that hoping Sunset might be happier in her new home had been too much to ask for. “I see. Then there can be no more doubt, although there wasn’t much to begin with.”

“I was always afraid she’d reappear some day, although I never thought it’d be so catastrophic.”

Celestia sighed. Cadance had feared Sunset’s return, as would most ponies who remembered her. “It seems that the years have not been kind to her if she has fallen so far.”

Cadance looked at Celestia with an irritated expression. “I wouldn’t be so sure. Knowing Sunset, she probably manipulated things to go pretty well for herself. I’m sorry, auntie, I know you want to believe in her, but… Sunset was always pretty bad.”

It was easy to see how Cadance could think that, but as she closed her eyes, Celestia thought of the filly she had met so many years ago. Of course, that was before Celestia had let her down. “Not always.”

Silence fell over them again, but Celestia didn’t let it bother her. She and Cadance would probably never agree on Sunset, but it was still comforting to have her niece beside her.

“Aunt Celestia…” Cadance shifted uneasily. “What happens if Sunset does come back with Twilight? She stole Twilight’s crown, caused extensive damage to my library, and attacked one of your guards.”

It was painful to admit, but there was only one answer. “It would seem that since she has committed crimes against three princesses, the only fair thing to do is for all of us to hear what she has to say for herself, then decide together what fate would be the most fitting.”

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea.” Cadance stood up and turned to head back into the castle. “I’ll head back in with the others. You should join us, auntie.”

“Go on ahead, I’ll follow in a bit,” Celestia said. But as Cadance walked away, Celestia felt concern growing inside her. What would happen to her student if she did return? “Cadance?” Celestia added before she could make it inside. “If I asked it of you, would you go easy on her?”

Although Celestia kept her eyes off Cadance as she waited for the answer, she could still clearly hear the hesitation in her voice. “I really hope that there won’t be a need to go easy on her at all. I’d like to think that we’ll come to an agreement that everyone is happy with, that’s fair without being harsh. But you know that depends on Sunset more than anything, and that when the time comes, I’ll have to do what’s right for the Crystal Empire.”

Celestia bowed her head. “Yes, I understand.”

The sound of hoofsteps and the door closing told her that she was alone again. It was right and just. Cadance had to consider the needs of the Crystal Empire above all else, just as Celestia had to consider the needs of Equestria. Her own personal wishes should not factor into things, but yet…

“Careful, Tia. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re actually showing some emotion.”

“Greetings, Luna.” Celestia turned to see her sister, who had certainly not been present a moment before. “Tell me Sunset hasn’t found a way to wrong you as well.”

“No, I remain spared from the excitement.” Luna stood beside her sister and looked out over the city with her. “If it should come to a trial, I feel you should know I intend to ‘go easy on her’ whether you ask me to or not.”

Celestia smiled. “Thank you, Luna, but Cadance is right. Our duty must be first and foremost to Equestria.”

“Certainly. And as a citizen of Equestria, we do owe it to Sunset Shimmer to give her the chance at a new life. What Cadance was most right about is that it will be up to Sunset Shimmer to decide to take that chance.”

“That’s what I’m most afraid of… Sunset has sent a very clear message that she is not willing to make peace.”

Luna smiled and shook her head. “No, dear sister, she sent a very clear message that she was not willing to make peace. That was before Twilight Sparkle went after her, and I should not need to remind you that she is a wonderfully capable mare.”

Celestia wanted to be as optimistic as Luna sounded, but there were still so many ways for things to go wrong. “But she’s not back yet. Even if she stays until the last possible moment to try and fix things, Sunset has been gone for eleven years. Who knows what could have happened in that time? Meanwhile, Twilight only had three days to make a difference.

Luna’s voice lost it’s playful tone when she spoke. “I recall another time when she had only one night to help a pony who had lost her way, and she had been gone for much longer. Have faith in your student, sister. I do.”

Celestia watched her sister as Luna watched the city. It had been two years, and yet she still seldom talked about her time as Nightmare Moon. “And you think she’ll be able to find her way again?”

“Nopony knows that better than I do. There are times when any of us can become consumed by our darkness. By our feelings of rejection from the ponies around us, or our greed to see ourselves with rewards we have not earned, or even our sorrow at the loss of those we hold dear. Sometimes we lose sight of what’s around us, and all we can see is ourselves on a path that we may not even want to be on any longer. But even when it’s too dark to see clearly, there are always other paths to take. We only need somepony to show us the light that we may find them.”

Celestia couldn’t help but smile at Luna’s cryptic explanation. “Has anypony ever told you that you like to speak in riddles just a bit too much?”

Luna smirked. “Has anypony told you that a metaphor is not a riddle?” She laughed before adding, “But yes, it has been mentioned.”

Only Luna could make Celestia smile even when she was so determined to remain miserable. She thought about Luna’s words. Sunset had lost her way years ago, but she could find it again. She just couldn’t do it alone. “And you believe Twilight could be that light for Sunset?”

Luna thought for a moment. “Twilight Sparkle will show her the paths. Sunset Shimmer must be the one to take one of them.”

“I… I will have faith. In both of them.”

“Good. Your support may be needed to help Sunset along whichever path she chooses.” Luna closed her eyes and bowed her head. “Tell me, when Sunset Shimmer returns, what do you intend to do?”

Celestia blinked. “As I said, we’ll hold a –”

“Tia.” Luna opened her eyes and looked into Celestia’s. Although she had spent millennia learning how to cover her emotions, there was no hiding when those teal eyes were on her. “I am not asking what we will do, but what you will do.”

“I…” Celestia knew what Luna was asking, but she didn’t have an answer. She’d been searching for one for three days, but all she had found was uncertainty. “I… don’t know. I just want her to come home.”

Even without a real answer, Luna’s smile suggested that she found whatever she was searching for. “She will. It may not be tonight, but she will return to you.”

Celestia leaned her head on Luna’s shoulder. “How can you know?”

Luna stretched a wing across Celestia’s back. “Because I did.”

Celestia smiled as she nuzzled against her sister. “Thank you, Luna. The years without you were the most difficult of my life.”

“Yes, I am quite the treasure.” Luna pulled her wing back and lit her horn. “But for now, there is somepony else that you ought to be talking to.”

Much to Celestia’s surprise, Luna levitated a book towards them. A hardcover journal with Celestia’s cutie mark on its cover. “Where did you get this? And how did you even know about it?”

“From rifling through your personal things, of course.” Luna gave Celestia a confused look, as if she couldn’t understand what other answer there could be. “What kind of little sister would I be if I did not at least try to read your diary?”

For a moment, Celestia found herself wondering if Luna was serious. But only for a moment, then she smiled and shook her head. “I don’t know what to do with you.”

Luna shrugged and levitated over a quill and inkwell. “I am afraid you’re going to be stuck with me for a long time, dear sister, so you might as well learn to live with it.”

“Oh no, I could never do that. It would ruin all the fun of things.” Celestia’s smile fell away as she stared at the book. Even Luna remained quiet as she opened it and turned to the last page with writing on it. “I… I’m not sure what to say.”

Luna put her hoof on Celestia’s. “Say what is in your heart.”

Celestia winced. “You make it sound so easy.”

“For you, dear sister?” Luna stood up. “I doubt anything could be more difficult.”

“You’re leaving?”

“It is not my heart that Sunset Shimmer needs to hear from. Have faith in yourself, Tia. I do.”

Luna left Celestia to the journal as she followed Cadance inside. Celestia looked down at it, wondering what words could possibly tell Sunset everything that was in her heart.

“Oh, Sunset…” Celestia took a deep breath and brought the quill to the page. “I wish I could be there to see you now…”


“At last…” Sunset stared down at the crown in her hands. “More power than I could ever imagine!”

Sunset placed the crown on her head, and there was a blinding flash of light. Everything Sunset ever wanted was finally going to be hers!

“Good job, Princess,” Sunset’s voice said from inside her. “At least you managed to do something right.”

Sunset tried to argue, tried to point out that this was her victory and she wouldn’t be sharing it. She tried, but nothing came out. Rings of blue and black originating from the crown circled around her body, and her hands remained frozen to the crown.

Then everything went dark. Her body felt weightless, but Sunset hardly noticed. Her mind felt like it was being torn in two, as she lost the will to fight anything.

Then there was pain. Pain, it seemed, was very grounding. It pulled her out of her head, but she could do nothing as she felt herself being burned alive. Her body felt like it was ripping itself apart, the fire burning away everything that was and replacing it with something that should not be.

Then there was nothing. The pain was gone, the darkness faded, and Sunset knew it was over. She felt weaker than she ever had in her entire life, but whatever the crown had been doing to her was over.

Everything felt wrong. Sunset felt wrong. Her thoughts were a mess, and she couldn’t remember what was going on. She opened her eyes and found herself floating above the school, but she wasn’t sure how she got there.

What’s going on? Sunset asked. There was no sound, but the only person who mattered still answered.

We’re getting everything we ever wanted, she told herself.

Everything she ever wanted. It was hers now. She knew that, because she told herself, and she listened to herself.

Not yet, she reminded herself. We’re only just getting started.

Sunset was only just getting started. She looked down at herself and realized her whole body had changed. She was no longer just fire, Sunset had become an inferno. She could cleanse the world in flame, and then she would get everything she ever wanted.

It’s time to see what we can do, she told herself.

Sunset laughed gleefully and looked around for some sign of what she might do. She saw the two boys who had followed her orders for so long.

Them?

Yes, them. Give them their reward, make them the first ones to follow in our footsteps. Let them burn with us.

Sunset gave each of them a form like her own. With that gift, they would finally be useful to her.

But don’t stop there. Do you see? The students running into the school. Show them that there is nowhere they can hide. Remember how they tried to keep you from what was rightfully yours? It is time for their punishment.

There was a wall in her way, so Sunset removed it. Nothing would stand in her way any longer. Sunset felt anger as she looked over the students. They had tried to keep her from what she deserved, and she would punish them. Sunset seemed to be speaking, but she didn’t hear the words.

But wait, we can be merciful. Show them our mercy. Show them they may serve us. Look at them run. But they will not escape. They are ours. Make them ours.

Sunset focused on their thoughts, then she removed them. It was easy. They became like her. And like her, they would always have her words in their head to make sure they knew what to do.

Good. Now, it’s time. This school is nothing compared to what we will achieve. Equestria will be ours!

Sunset was speaking again, but she wasn’t sure what she was saying or why. That wasn’t important. Sunset reacted to what she told herself, and there was nothing else. The world around her was hazy and out of focus. All she cared about was that she was going to get everything she ever wanted.

Twilight Sparkle. While nothing else was clear, Twilight Sparkle stood in sharp contrast to the world around her. She was talking and Sunset was responding, but she wasn’t sure what was being said. All she knew was that Twilight Sparkle was standing in her way, and she would never be in Sunset’s way again.

Others were joining her. Sunset recognized them as Twilight’s friends, but they were inconsequential.

What fate do Twilight Sparkle and her friends deserve?

They deserve to burn.

As Sunset formed fire between her hands, the glow and the heat focused the world around her. She was staring at Twilight and her friends, at Applejack, and she knew she didn’t want this. This wasn’t who Sunset was supposed to be. Sunset was fire… fire given…

We’re an inferno.

Sunset was an inferno, and all she could do was consume. The world fell back into a comfortable haze, and Sunset let the flame in her hands go forth.

And then there was nothing else to stand in her way. The flame engulfed Twilight Sparkle, and there was nothing more.

Something wasn’t right. Sunset could feel it; something shifted. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she knew it was bad.

There was a light. A light that shone as the rest of the world darkened. Sunset watched it, watched as it grew. Something had gone wrong, and Twilight Sparkle had survived. They all had. Twilight Sparkle was talking, but Sunset couldn’t make out the words.

The light spread to Sunset and engulfed her, and then all she could see was white.