Chapter Three
Hide-and-Seek
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Sunset hated everything. She hated that stupid mirror for ever showing her as an alicorn. She hated Celestia for pushing her away instead of just answering her questions. She hated the cops for driving her around so much that she couldn’t find her way back to the portal. She hated the kids for thinking she’d ever want to be their friend.
Most of all, she hated herself for letting things go the way they did.
She tried to fix it. The first night, once she had her saddle bag back – empty of most of its contents, but she couldn’t wait around anymore – she snuck off. It wasn’t hard; the room had a window she could climb out of. So, carrying her saddle bag awkwardly, she snuck off into the night.
That didn’t work too well. She got hopelessly lost, and the dark city streets were unfamiliar. Even she knew it was a miracle when she was picked up by a police officer and brought back to New Horizons. After that, no one would tell her where she was found. They all seemed to think she’d sneak off again, which was, of course, the plan. Days passed her by, and Sunset realized she was stuck in this world for thirty moons. It had only been a week, but that was much too long – the portal had closed without her.
Which was why she found herself sitting across from Crystal Clear, her psychologist. He had bright cerulean skin, and white hair that went down to around his ears. He always dressed in high-quality suits, which immediately brought to mind her parents’ snobbish friends, but he surprised her with his caring nature and charming smile. He didn’t talk down to her like she was a child, unlike most adults. Sunset hated him.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said in that obnoxiously casual tone. “I think it’s alright to waste a little time, once in a while.”
Sunset sat with her arms folded. “Maybe for a good book or something like that, but friends? No way.”
“I hear you haven’t been reading the books Ms. Rose has been leaving for you.”
“I don’t want to read children’s books.”
This was normally where people would insist that she was a child. Crystal Clear just smiled and asked plainly, “So what books would you like to read?”
Sunset thought for a minute. “Technology books.” Although she had only spent a week living with humans – the proper word, as she finally had learned – Sunset knew enough to know that she probably had used the wrong term. “You know, about electricity, and televisions, and phones and stuff.”
Crystal Clear seemed amused by her answer. “Okay, I’ll bring you some books like that for our next session.” He grabbed a satchel that was lying near his feet and set it on the table. “I hadn’t quite expected that answer, to be honest,” he said as he rummaged through the bag. “But I did suspect the reason why you didn’t want to read the books Ms. Rose was giving you, so I brought you something else.”
He handed her a book, which did seem to be a step in the right direction. It was at least a few hundred pages, and didn’t have an illustration on every one. Sunset still eyed the cartoonish cover doubtfully. “This is still a kid’s book.”
Crystal Clear smiled patiently. “It’s a juvenile novel. It’s intended for kids twice your age.”
No one knew exactly how old Sunset’s physical age was, of course. Although she was seventeen, her physical age had definitely regressed significantly, and the general assumption was that she was somewhere around five years old. Which meant the book she was holding was intended for ten-year-olds, and thus of no interest to Sunset. “Don’t you have any adult books?”
“Not with me, no.” Crystal Clear set his satchel back on the ground and folded his hands on the desk. “Humor me, Sunset. If you read that book and can show to me that you understood it, I’ll bring you something more advanced.”
“And the textbooks,” Sunset stated. Although she was in no position to make demands, she often still did.
“Yes, I’ll bring you both. But –” he leaned across the desk “– I want you to also try getting along with the other kids.”
Sunset set the book back on the table. “Not worth it.”
Crystal Clear sighed. Sunset knew even his patience would wear thin at her refusal to get along with the others, and she was half looking forward to wearing him down. It seemed to be the only thing she could still enjoy. “I understand that you’re frustrated. But there’s no need to lash out at the other kids.”
Sunset frowned, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “That wasn’t my fault.”
“Well, would you like to tell me your side of the story, then?”
He was always doing that. Always trying to get her to talk more about her experiences. Normally, she wouldn’t. There wasn’t a point since she didn’t actually want his sympathy or anything. But there was a reason now. Sunset looked at the book. She had absolutely no interest in reading it, but it was a gateway to the best thing this world could offer her.
She took a deep breath. “Fine,” she relented, “I’ll tell you what happened.”
It was the third day since Sunset had wound up at New Horizons Home for Children. She spent most of her time in her room, or wandering around the places she was permitted to be on her own. All in all, she was exceptionally bored.
Unfortunately, she must have looked it, too. Or maybe they just took pity on her because of her situation, which was even worse. Regardless of why they did, two girls had decided to be Sunset’s friends. At first, they weren’t too bad. They would ask her to play with them, and she would tell them ‘no’, and that was that. But each day they seemed to grow more insistent.
“Sunset, come play dolls with us!” Dew Drop said.
“I don’t like dolls,” Sunset answered.
“Come on, don’t like anything fun?” Sugar Breeze protested.
Sunset glanced up from her book. “Nope. Nothing. So why don’t you two just go play on your own?”
Sugar Breeze tilted her head to the side. “Uh, that’s a dictionary. Dolls are much more fun than dictionaries.”
It was a fair point; Sunset would have a hard time justifying a dictionary as fun. And in truth, she wasn’t actually having any real fun with it. But it just so happened that this dictionary contained tons of words she would be expected to know in this world, and she was determined to learn them. She had made the mistake of saying ‘persons’ out loud, and had been laughed at for it. Sunset hated being laughed at, and wouldn’t allow it to happen again.
Person, noun: A human being regarded as an individual. Plural: people; persons.
This world was bucking stupid.
“Okay, let’s play something else then,” Dew Drop suggested. “What about… hide-and-seek?”
“Not interested.”
“Sunset! Please?”
Sunset sighed and looked back at the girls. She was going to just refuse again, but then she got an idea. There was no telling why they were so hung up on being friends with her, but they were. So she would solve two problems at once. “Okay, fine. You two go and hide, and I’ll come and find you.”
“Okay!” Dew Drop said excitedly.
Sugar Breeze wasn’t convinced, though. “You promise? You’ll really play?” she asked skeptically.
“I promise,” Sunset said with a practiced smile. “How high should I count?”
“A hundred!” Dew Drop said.
“Okay, I’ll count to one hundred.”
It seemed they were both convinced she would stick to her word, so they ran off. Sunset just returned to her book. It was perfect; she’d gotten rid of them, and they would hopefully learn that she wasn’t someone they would actually want to play with anyway.
Sunset flipped to the definition of television. She’d learned what a television was by watching the one in the lounge room, but hoped she could learn a bit more from the dictionary. It was unlikely, but she didn’t have anything else to do. Technology was the one thing Sunset loved about Earth. It was like human magic.
Long enough passed that Sunset found herself idly flipping through the dictionary, just looking at the illustrations. She had honestly forgotten about the game of hide-and-seek by the time Sugar Breeze came back.
“You’re still here!?” she asked incredulously.
Sunset facepalmed. “Oh, right, the game. Sorry about that. What happened was that I was counting, and then I realized that I don’t care.”
Sugar Breeze placed her hands on her hips and did the best menacing look a six-year-old could accomplish. “You promised.”
“You’re right, I did.” Sunset shrugged. “But I’m also a bitch, so you know, there’s that.”
Sugar Breeze’s arms went limp as her jaw fell open. She stared for a second while Sunset wondered if she was intentionally exaggerating her expression, before puffing out her cheeks and pointing accusingly at Sunset. “You swore!”
Of course, why hadn’t she thought of that before? It was such a simple way to keep such oh-so-good little girls away from her. “Yes, yes I did. Because I am a bitch, and I’ll use whatever language I bucking want.”
It seemed Sugar Breeze finally got the message because she quickly ran away. Sunset just smiled at her success.
After doing something that was legitimately fun, Sunset couldn’t bring herself to read any more of the dictionary. She decided to take a walk out to the garden, content in the knowledge that if she ran into any other kids she’d know exactly how to get rid of them.
Perhaps unfortunately, she didn’t run into any kids. None that seemed concerned with her, in any case; most of the kids understood that she was uninterested in them and kept to themselves. And no matter how much fun it had been to watch Sugar Breeze’s reactions, Sunset wasn’t going to go starting problems. She definitely had her limits on what she was willing to put up with, but she was by no means a bully.
Aside from her room and the library, the garden was easily Sunset’s favorite place. Since there wasn’t anything to do in her room and the library’s selection of books left her wanting, deciding where to wander was an easy choice. She strolled leisurely through the flowers, wishing there was a better way to use her time.
Sunset stopped as she heard the flowers rustling. She turned to face the direction of the sound, and saw a poorly hidden child. “Dew Drop?”
With a giggle, Dew Drop emerged from her hiding spot. “You found me!”
Sunset almost wondered why Dew Drop was happy about that, but then she realized she didn’t care. “I can’t believe you really stayed hidden for that long.”
Dew Drop ran up to Sunset, stopping entirely too close to her. “I knew you’d really play. Sugar Breeze said you wouldn’t but you promised, so you did!”
Why did kids have to be so damn cheerful? Sunset hooked her hands in her pockets and turned away. “That’s great and all, but I forgot about the stupid game. I just came out here because I wanted to.”
“Oh.” Dew Drop looked down, genuinely hurt by the statement. It only lasted a moment though, and when she looked up it was with an energetic expression once again. “Well, then we can play something else!”
Sunset arched an eyebrow as she stared at Dew Drop. She was such a bubbly idiot, Sunset almost felt bad for Sugar Breeze. At least she seemed like she might grow up to be someone who wasn’t obnoxious. “I don’t want to play any games.”
“Uhm… maybe later?”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
Dew Drop’s head hung low, and Sunset was almost foolish enough to take her silence as an indication that she’d leave her alone. Almost, but she knew better.
“Sunset… why don’t you ever want to play with us?”
Where should she start? Sunset grinned, ready to list the reasons, but then she got a good look at Dew Drop. She looked almost scared, as if the answer might somehow physically harm her.
Dew Drop and Sugar Breeze were obnoxious. Sunset desperately wanted them to leave her alone. But they were also children, and Sunset didn’t want to terrorize the poor idiots. ‘So much for not being a bully…’
Sighing deeply, Sunset pressed her hand against the bridge of her nose. “Look, Dew Drop… I don’t like the things you like. We don’t have a lot in common. I’m not trying to be mean here, but I really don’t want to be your friend.”
It was a perfectly reasonable explanation. Sunset had buried away all her malice, and laid the facts out bare. She had used as calm of a tone as she was capable of, and had controlled her body language enough to not give the wrong idea. None of which mattered at all because Dew Drop was already sniffling as she took shaky breaths.
“Y-you hate me…”
Sunset furrowed her brow and shook her head. “That’s… not what I said. At all.”
The actual tears were starting. “What did I do wrong? I just wanted us to be friends!”
“Wha… what!?” Sunset’s voice started rising. “Did you even listen to me?”
“I’m… I’m sorry, I-I didn’t m-mean to…”
“Are you really that stupid? I said I don’t –”
The rest of Sunset’s sentence was cut off as Dew Drop began wailing loudly. Sunset took a few steps back, completely at a loss for what to do.
“Hey, uh, it’s… okay! I didn’t mean it!” It didn’t help. “Look, I’ll play the stupid game. I mean! It’s not stupid, it’s fun, and…” Dew Drop cried louder. She was just standing there, arms at her side, blubbering about something that wasn’t even Sunset’s fault! “Hey! Stop! Dew Drop, it’s… just… Sweet Celestia, just shut the buck up!”
“Sunset Shimmer!”
Sunset turned wildly to find Rose Petal hobbling over to them, Sugar Breeze right behind her. Finally, someone who could stop… Why was she glaring at Sunset?
Rose Petal stopped before she reached Sunset, kneeling down to hug Dew Drop. “There there, little one. Everything’s okay now.”
‘Because she arrived just in time to see the troubled girl cursing at the sweet little innocent child,’ Sunset noted. It was not the best way that situation could have gone. She just shoved her hands in her pockets and frowned. At least there was one good thing from this: Judging by the glare she was getting from Sugar Breeze, it was unlikely either of them would want to try and be friends with her anymore.
“So I wasn’t really trying to yell at her,” Sunset reiterated.
“I see.” Crystal Clear had listened patiently through Sunset’s story. She supposed that was just part of his job. “I can see how that could have happened, and I believe that you didn’t mean to hurt Dew Drop’s feelings.”
“Exactly!”
“But you did break a promise to play with them, and you should have been nicer to Sugar Breeze.”
“But I told them ‘no’!” Sunset threw her arms out as she spoke, scarcely believing he wasn’t taking her side completely. “I told them ‘no’ every single time they asked, I told them I don’t want to play with them. Why is it okay for them to keep pestering me when I don’t want to play with them?”
Crystal Clear sighed and glanced down at his desk. When he looked up he wasn’t frowning, exactly, but he seemed far from pleased. “Sunset… what do you know about Dew Drop?”
“Not much, but I don’t need a ph.D. in psychology to guess she might be bipolar.”
“Dew Drop was abused before coming to New Horizons. Her parents apparently never wanted a child, and never hid that fact from her. She was in and out of child services for her whole life, until her parents completely lost custody of her a few months ago. No one else stepped in to take care of her, so she wound up at New Horizons Home for Children. She is only four years old and is still learning about complex emotions. She only seems to understand that people will be her friend, or they will hate her. And in her history, people who hate her have not been kind to her.”
Sunset quietly fumed in her chair.
“Do you understand why I’m telling you this?”
“To make me feel like shit for making her cry?”
“To make you realize you are not the only one with problems. There are twenty-six other kids at New Horizons, and none of them chose to be here. Most of them wound up there because of some tragedy or other. In the best case scenario, some of the kids have lived there for their whole lives, given up for adoption as babies.”
Sunset rose to her feet and slammed her hand against his desk. “How was I supposed to know any of that!? And what the buck do you want me to do about it!? I didn’t have anything to do with all that!”
Crystal Clear was unfazed by her outburst. “I want you to try being a little more compassionate. You’re are a smart girl, Sunset. Even if you didn’t know the specifics, you could have easily figured out that Dew Drop might have a reason for trying so hard to be friends with everyone, and you certainly could have realized that it was best to proceed with caution.”
“Fine!” Since he wasn’t going to show emotions, Sunset would show enough for both of them. “I’m a self-centered bitch! I know that, okay? And trust me, you do not want me to be friends with someone that bucked up. I made her cry when I decided to try explaining things nicely. So… what? What do you want me to do, exactly? Force a fake friendship with someone I don’t even like? Do you really see me sitting around playing dolls and having bucking tea parties? I’ve said like half a dozen swear words in last five minutes and I’m honestly not even trying to! I’m not kid friendly.”
As always, he remained frustratingly passive. “I want you to apologize to her and Sugar Breeze. I especially want you to make sure Dew Drop understands that you don’t hate her. She will learn that not everyone is going to be her friend, and that’s okay. So no, I don’t think you need to be her friend, but I still want you to try and be nicer to her.”
Sunset huffed. “You think she’ll actually leave me alone after that?”
Finally, a little emotion shone through Crystal Clear’s face, as he smiled sheepishly. “I highly doubt it. But this can be good for both of you. You need to learn to be more patient, and she needs to learn to give people space.”
Realizing it was the best she was going to get, Sunset sank back into her seat. “Fine, whatever. I’ll apologize.”
“Without swearing,” Crystal Clear added.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Without swearing.”
“Good.” He nodded and smiled, which meant either something very good or very bad was coming. Unfortunately, Sunset’s luck hadn’t tended towards ‘very good’ too much over the past week. “You’ll have to be more careful about what you say from now on. I’ve been talking with Mrs. Dusk and Ms. Rose, and we’ve reached a decision.”
That definitely wasn’t good. Violet Dusk was her social worker, so of course they’d have plenty of reason to talk. But the fact that while they were talking they apparently reached some sort of decision about her? Nothing good could come of that.
“And what’s the verdict?” she asked.
“We’ve decided it would be best for you to start school.”
Sunset winced at the words. She’d known it was inevitable, and only had one real hope. “Is homeschooling an option? I could honestly teach myself.”
“Sorry to say it’s not. You’ll take a placement test, but the truth of the matter is that we think you need more exposure to kids your own age.”
Sunset took a deep breath. She had one final out that she wasn’t sure was a great idea, but decided it was worth a shot. “Proportionate dwarfism.”
Immediately catching her meaning, Crystal Clear smiled. “We’ve considered it. But nothing from your medical examination suggested you are anything other than a healthy child, approximately five years old.”
She wasn’t ready to give up that easily. “It would explain a few things. Come on, I had to know the term from somewhere.”
“I’ve heard you’ve been reading the dictionary.”
“Come on, you even talk to me like I’m an adult.”
Crystal Clear shrugged. “A child prodigy, perhaps. There are a few peculiarities that wouldn’t make sense if you were an adult. You are quite possibly genius levels of intelligence in certain subjects, while at the same time you lack a lot of knowledge about the world around you.”
Clutching onto hope, Sunset pushed forward. “I could be some sort of genius shut in, doing nothing but reading books to pass the time.”
“Sunset,” he said gently, in a tone that made it clear he was putting the matter to rest, “your hormone levels are exactly where they should be for a young girl. Furthermore, it is my expert opinion that the same can be said for your emotional maturity.”
Sunset frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, I –”
“And I don’t mean the hormone thing,” Sunset added with a smirk. “I’ve read the dictionary.”
That got a chuckle out of him, but the somewhat adult themed joke didn’t seem to convince him of her age. “If I had only ever seen you when you are at your most calm and collected, I might be more apt to believe it was a possibility. But, as it happens, I’ve witnessed some of your emotional outbursts first hand and heard about others. I’ve heard you have a tendency to cry at night.”
Sunset blushed deeply and felt her anger rising. She tried to keep it in check, but could tell some of it seeped into her voice. “Yeah, well, I do have bucking amnesia, in case you forgot. So I’m sorry if my emotions are a little all over the place.”
He smiled reassuringly. “Sunset, I’ve helped adults and children with their problems. I know the different ways that they each handle their emotions. I’m not saying there’s a problem with your emotions at all; by all accounts, you have a perfectly healthy five-year-old brain.”
Sunset’s anger was gone in an instant as she realized the significance of his statement. “And a five-year-old’s id,” she murmured to herself.
“What was that?”
“The id, it’s the – wait, you know what the id is.”
“Yes, of course, but I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Sunset sighed. The id – the part of the psyche that handled reactions and impulses. She had wondered why she was prone to rapid mood swings and severe panic. She pretty much lost control over herself when extreme situations came up and would often act exactly like a child. Her mind had retained all the experiences and knowledge she had gained from her seventeen years of being a unicorn, but just like the rest of her, her brain was that of a child’s. She had been telling herself all week that she was still seventeen, but it seemed that in some very significant ways, she was not.
“Sunset?”
“Fine,” Sunset said as she allowed herself to sink as far into her chair as she could, “I really am just a screwed up kid.”
very good chapter
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Thank you
Veeeery interesting! :D Would love to see more!!
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Glad you like it I'm pretty good about this serialized writing thing, so expect a new chapter every Monday
As much as I love a great Sunset drama, and as a standalone this story is excellent so far, I feel like it sort of taints the other stories in the series. From what we knew about Sunset from her previous two stories, she went through a lot of crap. While originally it could be argued Fluttershy had worse teenage years, she still got out and was mostly fine after that. Sunset on the other hand, had a relatively crappy childhood, a horrible second childhood, was replaced (and broken) after years of trying to get back, had to work for her redemption, was stuck being dirt poor with no chance out due to a criminal record, and when she finally started getting something resembling happiness (after helping Twilight and pony Fluttershy), something happens to her that traumatized her to the point of drinking (still wondering what that is, will it be in this story?), she loses human Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, while also losing human Twilight in a way and Rarity moving away. Then, she gets a small amount of hope with a second chance with human Fluttershy, but that goes to hell real fast, and she's left with just Applejack and Pinkie. It also doesn't help that apparently her friends were never really as close to her (or even as nice to her as) as Twilight's were to her. She had to deal with the same sexuality issues (except politically, and even that, only for the easier part), and even helped pony Twilight and Fluttershy out. The issue comes when in Finding Home, which takes place after Sunset had gone through all that crap (being broken multiple times), she goes through more than any of the of the other characters. She has to deal with the pony she loves and the pony counterpart of her ex being together, then when Twilight kisses her (and it was specifically Twilight initiating it), she gets all the hate (including her own) and accusations, to point where she tries to drink herself to death. It took a suicide attempt for Fluttershy to realize that maybe this completely broken person/pony, who gave her a ton of support over the last few years, and in no way started kiss, isn't worth evicting and hating, and maybe needs help... It honestly got to the point where if Sunset had seriously hurt Rainbow Dash, I wouldn't have felt any sympathy for her (partially because Rainbow already pulled that stunt), even though her reaction was reasonable, especially for her, Sunset's been through so much that it would've been satisfying and cathartic to see her finally let some frustration out. Then, when she finally gets together with Twilight and Fluttershy, so much more goes wrong, between losing Spike, having Twilight's parents hate her, and being abandoned by Celestia, the one person/pony that gave her any happiness in the first 29 years of her life (in a situation where Celestia's inaction was child abuse due to Spike having bonded to Twilight and after Sunset already has abandonment issues...). Then, after all that hell, things finally start legitimately looking up, with Sunset and human Twilight even reconciling. That is, with the exception of human Rainbow Dash still hating her and a set up for even more drama with human Fluttershy potentially wanting to get back with her, which will probably be put on Sunset again...
I'm not trying to be harsh, I love the series so far, and this is the only major issue I have with it. I still haven't read the Fluttershy one shot, so that might change things a bit, but Sunset's experiences overshadow everyone else's drama so much that it makes most of the other drama seem petty. Seriously, between Finding Home and the Sunset one shot, it makes the first story's drama and emotions seem almost petty. It also harms other characters (especially Celestia, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy), as they are essentially beating on a broken (innocent) pony while she's down and beating herself. While they don't know the extent of her trauma, Fluttershy and Celestia at least know there's quite a bit there. Even if they didn't know, the audience does, so it's very difficult to not completely side with Sunset. It also really hurts Twilight, as she causes a large chunk of the problems, but by far has had the easiest life of the three and the only problem that should affect her more than the rest (losing Spike), still very heavily affects the other two, and the responsibility is shoveled onto Sunset. Now we have a second story dedicated to how crappy Sunset's life was, that most likely won't even touch the event that broke her into drinking, it is becoming harder and harder to sympathize with any of the other characters. It got to the point where the entire Luna and Amber subplot in Finding Home meant nothing to me (and is putting me off of reading their story), as it was so much more low key than the rest (and not in a subtle way), that it felt like a speed bump to the rest of the story. As a series that started off as a lesbian drama between Twilight and Fluttershy, then tried to evolve into an unorthodox relationships series, it is getting strongly overshadowed by Sunset.
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I do believe this is the longest comment I've ever received
It's a bit difficult to address without discussing other stories (primarily Finding Home) directly, which feels odd to do on another story. I'll PM you if you want a reply that more directly covers that (which I'm thinking you might, seeing as you summarized Sunset's entire character arc up through Finding Home ) As for your interpretation of everything, while you have the events completely right, I don't necessarily share the same view of complete sympathy towards Sunset. Many of her problems were self-inflicted. She had to work so hard to pull herself up because she dug herself really fucking far down. Which is, of course, why it's (ideally) a moving story when she does. Certainly not everything that happened to her, but most of her back story before EQG1 is at least partly her own fault (including her problems in this story).
As for Sunset overshadowing the others, I suppose I just don't see it like that. I've never placed individual stories up next to each other and tried to balance them, and I doubt I ever will. When coming up with a character's story, I just try to make it compelling. Not more than, less than, or equal to anyone else's story, just something that would be compelling in its own right. Considering several stories exist in the series that either don't feature Sunset or barely feature her, and I found myself happy with those stories, I'm not concerned on that front myself. I've never experienced something that made me retroactively dislike something. I was happy with Twishy's story in Inner Strength, nothing that comes after could make me unhappy with it. I can honestly say I've never read or watched anything and thought 'I would be interested in these characters, but this other character is so interesting that I'm not.'
I'm not directly disagreeing with you. I'm just saying that I can't experience the story (or any story) in that way. Could be that it is a major problem and other readers also feel Sunset overshadows the series, but I doubt I'll ever be able to see it
You are right about Amber and Luna, though. I'm not really happy with how their story went down in Finding Home at all.
Now, quantity is another matter entirely. I'm admittedly not thrilled that Sunset is dominating so much of the screen time. It's a problem that will take a while to fix (especially since the next major story I'm writing is also about Sunset ) but it will get fixed eventually. The issue is really that I just should have written this story first. I brought Sunset in on Finding Home with the expectation that it wouldn't matter when I wrote her back story, then I constantly found myself frustrated that I didn't write it. Fluttershy was also supposed to have a full back story fleshed out by ArchAngelsWings, but that story may or may not be canceled (I honestly don't know). Other characters either have show-established back stories or can be handled easily with other ways.
In summary, there's so much Sunset because I don't want to write her future without fully establishing her past.
That's very accurate, but I don't consider the series to be about anything other than whatever's happening to the characters. I have adventure stories planned as well, for example. When the stories are about Sunset, they'll be about her. When they're not, they'll be about something else. Lesbian drama and unorthodox relationships are only a couple of the things that interest me.
I like this, the last few paragraphs especially due to you working that concept in. It made me think of an episode from Startrek next gen where some of the cast had there bodies reverted to children, and to some degree then acted the part as they should, two of them even ended up jumping on the bed in one scene.
The literal physiology of a child's mind is different, undeveloped, and irregardless of much prior knowledge, memory, and experience you carry with you the base biology will to some extent shine through.
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When I got the basic idea for this story, the psychology was the main thing that stuck out to me. I don't have a whole lot of background in the psych field (I took AP psychology in high school, but that's all I got lol) so I'm sure someone more knowledgable could pick out some flaws, but the simple idea of the adult mind in a child's brain was way too appealing to pass up
7754508 My bad on the what the series is trying to be part, I though I read that was the point on the group page or something... Anyways, while it can be argued how much of Sunset's suffering was self inflicted (though I have a very low opinion of Celestia in the show, between rewriting history, abandoning Twilight at the wedding, putting a test over the security of the nation, not bothering to write to Sunset, malicious pranking, including causing massive chaos at the gala the episode before Discord breaks free, not trusting Twilight post ascension, and so on), she never got as bad as some of the characters in the show (Discord and Starlight), and actually had to work for her redemption. But that's irrelevant right now, for the most part. The issues for me are best shown by three scenes from Finding Home and comparing them to Inner Strength.
The first is the Twilight kiss scene. Sunset didn't initiate or escalate the scene in anyway (though she should've broken away), but Fluttershy suddenly starts hating her to the point of wanting to evict her. It takes Sunset almost attempting suicide for Fluttershy to consider talking to her. This is Fluttershy we're talking about, after Sunset's been friends with her and helping her for years. Fluttershy was only really angry with Twilight for leaving in the end, not even for the kiss. She never even really talked to Sunset about it, just let it slide with no apology. Compared to the Amber Fluttershy scene from Inner Strength, it was downright viscious towards Sunset.
The second is the meeting with Twilight's family. In Inner Strength, it goes perfectly. In Finding Home? How dare Sunset corrupt their daughter. Let's phish out a lie by lying to her to prove she's evil and take Spike away, even though we know it's objectively worse to keep him away from Twilight and blame Sunset. Oh, and no support from Shining either. I get that in story Velvet has a reason for it, but it's still a scene from Inner Strength taken to the extreme and putting Sunset at the bottom when Twilight should be suffering the most (seriously, she lost Spike, yet by the end, I feel worse for Sunset than her).
The last is that Celestia is perfectly willing to support them in Inner Strength, but add Sunset to the mix? Nah, she'd rather let Spike suffer than help them. Honestly, that Spike magic bond thing really paints an everyone hates Sunset picture for that arc, as they'd rather cause Twilight's son to suffer than give Sunset a chance, after they accepted Fluttershy instantly. I guess the best way to describe my issue is that so much went right in Inner Strength, but many of the same things happened in Finding Home, and they went so much worse, and since Sunset was the cause, all the drama and suffering went to her.
It probably didn't help that I read the first two chapters of this story first, then the Sunset one shot, then Inner Strength, then Finding Home. Finding Home has a lot of the same mandatory relationship scenes as Inner Strength, but they are much more dramatic. It felt like Inner Strength was building up the characters while Finding Home tore them down. I think that the other part of my issue comes more from the show and movies treatment of the characters and I'm projecting some of it here. Mainly, that with a few exceptions with the CMC and Luna, up until the season 5 finale, the only character to show a shred of empathy was Sunset. Comparing how Twilight treated Sunset post defeat and Starlight is almost disgusting. Plus, unless the comics are canon (and none of the main series ones are), we don't know Sunset's backstory. All we have is that she turned cruel and impatient, according to Celestia, the same pony who keeps Blueblood around and never realized Cadence was replaced by a changeling, but almost threw Twilight out after saving Equestria twice. Oh and that Sunset was Celestia's student before Twilight, yet the two are the same age, and the movies imply there's no difference in the flow of time between the two worlds... Come over to this story, Sunset basically has no parents, and was taught she needs to be great. Celestia taunts Sunset with the mirror, but won't tell her anything about, then kicks her out after breaking into the restricted section (something Twilight did in the show to stop time). Hell, if Twilight didn't have her parents, her brother, and the freakin' alicorn of love raising her, alongside Spike as a companion, especially with how antisocial and unpleasant she was in episode one, and didn't have her destiny to be to make friends (seriously, wha was with that Rainboom backstory), or in other words, had Sunset's backstory, how much worse she would've turned out. Oh, and Starlight Glimmer... I hope that not too much of that is slipping into this, but it still feels like Sunset got the short end of the stick for relatively minor offenses, especially considering all the crap she had to go through and that Twilight got away scot free for a lot of her crap.
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I would really rather discuss other stories either in the comment section of those stories or in a PM I'll message you a reply towards the bulk of your comment (about your issue with everyone ganging up on Sunset; some of it is just stuff that I interpret differently because I interpret the characters differently, but there's one detail you're misremembering), but you caught me right before bed so I may be a while. In the meantime, would you mind editing your comment to spoiler tag the third and fourth paragraphs, since those are also about Finding Home's plot? I thank you very much for using the spoiler tag feature, since I do want people to be able to browse comments without worry.
As for things I can address (namely, your first and last paragraphs), the group doesn't feature a wholly accurate description because I've never been able to think of one. I'm fond of referring to Who We Become as a lesbian horse soap opera, but that's in part because it's just impossible to come up with something more accurate (lol describing it on the group page as 'a story about whatever I'm writing about at the time' is not gonna make anyone want to read it )
Part of the difference between Inner Strength and Finding Home is just that I was more experienced when writing FH. I always wanted the heavy drama to be part of IS, but I didn't really get it down right back then. This is quite possibly for the better, objectively speaking. IS has a lot more general appeal, I think, because FH alienates some readers with its consistent drama. But regardless of what would objectively be best for the story, subjectivelyI really just like writing drama
...Aaaand now I have to rewatch the show with this idea in mind to see if I agree. Can't say I agree or disagree at the moment, but it's not something I ever noticed.
That plot hole always bugged the hell out of me as well. Figuring out how to make sense of it without going really sci-fi was what inspired this story
This too bugs the hell out of me. But since I do generally hold the comics as canon (unless otherwise contradicted), my hands were tied. That's literally the story that we were given, as baffling as it is.
As for the Sunset-Starlight stuff, I'm just not touching that one. It's been such a heavily talked about thing within the fandom, but I really just don't feel strongly about it one way or the other. I noticed the similarities then, got an idea for what to do with Starlight in WWB (), and didn't spend much time worrying about it past that point.
OoooOOOOoOoh SNAP New chapter!
So, Sunset is about five years old, and I feel I'm going to just go research mental disorders that she could possibly be diagnosed with for the way she's acting, but of course, she's only five.
School will be a fun topic to explore, starting out in our version of the education will be very different from the equestrian, "small classrooms", equine related topics, and just one teacher.
Maybe Sunset will fall into the "juvenile delinquent", in detention all the time "group".
Also, tiny Sunset is breaking out the b-word X'D Or in this case, both the b-words.
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Lol you really can trust the weekly updates, I swear I think I got the content buffer thing down pretty well
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If you come up with a diagnosis, I'd love to hear it. I'm rather curious if it'll be the same thing I got.
Haha all the things I want to say about Sunset's schooling, but alas, spoilers
Fun fact, I remove a lot of profanity when editing The idea of smol Sunset swearing is incredibly amusing (plus I myself swear a lot), so I've been writing this story as being fairly vulgar. Well, vulgar for a T rated MLP story anyway. Then when I go through and edit it, and I'm just like 'lol slow down there, edgelord'
7754878 Since it hasn't gotten too far into the story, and I'm still looking, Sunset could be possibly diagnosed in the future by the adults with maybe an anti-social personality disorder, or some type of ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)? But they'd likely mistake her to have gone through some traumatic event recently, leading to her aggressive behaviour and overall lack of much care for the feelings of the other kids. And her inability to realise that Dew Drop could have been abused in her past, and etc..
This was very well constructed. Sunset's adult mind in a child's brain it is going to be a delight to witness.
Thanks for the chapter.
#LetSunsetSayFuck
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Interesting. Without going too into it, I went with a few different things within the story, and you've hit one of them
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Thank you, and I can only hope I'll live up to your expectations
Hmm. This chapter brings up a few good questions. What is the measure for emotional maturity? I've always strived for stoicism myself, but even I have never had that much emotional control. I know my
stressanxiety tolerance is pretty high for all the credit I get for it. I've read three Paul Ekman books, not recently mind you, but my interest was more for an analysis and not a research paper. If you must (or want to) know it was related to an Alfred Hitchcock movie, and I was able to use the information to some limited degree for a Kurosawa film as well. Anyway, I'm aware of the Vineland social maturity scale and the Eriksonian, and Freudian stages of development. I did read half of the DSMIV and all of an in action study guide, and as mentioned before, I have a degree in visual media and I've been exposed to international media of both the eastern and western variety. So, my curiosity is piqued in a behaviorist sense.Also, I'm not particularly fond of labeling children with psychological disorders, I'm with the British on that score. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I didn't have a conduct disorder, or defiant disorder, and save for one year in middle school I was unmedicated. My father had major control issues, he was very autocratic and lacking in common sense. The idea of me being in any way self sufficient terrified him, and his behavior and lust for control grew worse the older I got (and it had nothing to do with me just "noticing" or becoming aware of it). The restrictions he placed on me literally became worse the older I got __for no apparent reason__ other than arbitrary rule. But, when it came up during an interview the person I was talking with was not an honorable person. I spent the rest of the interview being interrogated like a felon and proving I wasn't retarded, physically handicapped, or mentally ill.
Like a sociopath, I won't usually disclose personal information unless or until I feel it is safe to do so, and for the most part I used to assume people selected to interview you were honorable. I don't know why. Plus, I'm in agreement with the Scientologists when I believe ADD is within the normal scale of human cognition, memory, and inattentional blindness (even if they are a bunch of jerks). In all honesty, I think ADD is a form of post traumatic stress disorder in response to physical, social, psychological, spiritual, and emotional abuse. So, I kind of think labeling and sharing that diagnosis with another child (even a prodigious one) is the wrong way to go about eliciting cooperation or sympathy.
Not to mention the fact I've met people who could dismiss a seventeen year old, or even a twenty eight year old, as having the intelligence of a third grader just because they don't have the same information or use a different language/definition for words. I don't consider respect fear, loyalty worship, submission, or obedience, but I've met people who do believe that just becasue they were given some limited positional authority. Which is why I probably won't ever shop at TJMAXX ever again.
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Sorry for the late response And I'm sorry to hear you had difficulties with your childhood, no one should have to deal with that
As I'm not a psychologist or trained in any sort of way for mental health, I wouldn't try to answer questions on how exactly to measure things like emotional maturity, which is why I kept his explanation fairly basic. That's also why I also included the comment about her hormone levels being appropriate for a child, to show that there's hard evidence of her being pre-pubescent (she could have both a hormonal imbalance and proportional dwarfism, but the odds of that would be far too small for anyone to actually believe it to be the case).
I think that early diagnosis can be vital in helping children with mental disorders learn how to handle them in a healthy way. I do agree that medication should be held as a last resort for children (worth noting there's no mention of Sunset being medicated). I think the problem isn't diagnosing kids with mental disorders, but rather with over diagnosing them. We've come to a point where "My kid won't listen in school" is too often answered with an ADD diagnosis and a Ritalin prescription. Growing up, I knew several kids diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. Some of them clearly had actual problems, many just didn't fit into the cookie cutter mold their parents/teachers wanted them to be in. Too often psychologists/psychiatrists are more interested in pleasing the parents (presumably, the ones footing the bill) rather than helping the kid.
When a diagnosis does take place, I would say there's no definitive answer on whether or not to inform the kid. It should come as a case by case situation, where the mental health proffesional and the parents reach a conclusion on what would be in the kid's best interest. This, again, should only even come up if the psychologist made an honest diagnosis, and not just a quick 'ADD is to blame for everything' decision.
Going to have to disagree with this one outright. ADD could be caused by PTSD, but isn't always. I would say any attempt to outright say a mental disorder is always rooted in a single cause is foolish and overly generalized. Small exception to PTSD, since that's always caused by the trauma part of the name, but that of course is still a broad catagory with plenty of possibilities therein.
I like the story so far, the only thing that concerns me is that there seems to be a lack of actual supporting secondary characters.
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Thank you, I'm happy to hear it
As for the supporting characters, it gets better. The story remains focused entirely on Sunset as the main character, but it'll have a more regularly recurring supporting cast as Sunset gets settled into her new situation. Rose Petal from the last chapter and Crystal Clear from this one are both going to recurring supporting characters (most of the cast will be OCs, though)
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Okay, and I'm appreciative of your thoughtful response.
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I guess what I'm thinking is that both Rose Petal and Crystal Clear are adults, whereas Sunset is a child; I don't doubt they're going to be significant characters, but not necessarily characters who can interact with Sunset on her level. Most stories have one main character and one secondary character that they can bounce off of, such as Twilight and Spike.
Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter.
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Sunset's not exactly a child, mentally, so her interacting with a five-year-old would be kind of out of character for her at this point. But more to the point, this isn't intended as any kind of a happy story, it's about Sunset growing into who she was in EqG1; bitter, angry, willing to do underhanded things to get her way, and with no real friends (Snips and Snails being more lackeys than friends). In essence, her loneliness is a part of the story.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story as it unfolds
Sunset's stuck on outdated psychological theories.
I know why she's so confused now. It's because Earth is full of reasonable authority figures!
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lol nothing about Equestria seems particularly modernized (except when it is, because the show is wildly inconsistent)
And yeah, pretty much Thank you for taking the time to comment as you go, by the way. I do so adore hearing reader's developing thoughts on my stories
the itneresting thing here I am siding with Susnet on this one. trying to force someone to do stuff is not always the best idea. ANd did she ever get her stuff back.
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Equestria is very Schizo Tech, but I will always think of it being roughly analogous to our tech level, allowing for invention threads cut off or stagnated due to the increased physical capabilities of ponies over humans and the existence of magic.
Also #LetSunsetSayFuck, I cringe so fucking hard when "buck" is used as a curse word.
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For me, I tend to think of it as roughly equal to ours a hundred years ago. If I want to use something that hasn't specifically been in the show, I typically check if it was in use before or around 1900 first. There are a fair amount of show canon examples of more modern tech, but most of those were one off jokes (laser alarm system comes to mind).
And I don't really mind buck as a swear and enjoy using it as a difference between the worlds in my fics. That said, I am very fond of the word fuck, and it's used over two hundred times across this fic. So if the buck is really getting to you fear not, it's only temporary
This sound like my sister. I love this story
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Oh gosh, hope your sister is nicer than Sunset And thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the story
This was good. I especially enjoy that the distinction between mind and brain were made. Too many adult in a kids body stories out there that don't make that connection, though to be fair a lot of them tend to be comedic in nature.
Kind of also feel like it explains Sunset's behaviour in the film, she had a lot of more adult-ish emotional issues trying to be processed by the hormone riddled and rapidly changing teenaged mind.
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lol yeah, I always wonder if anyone ignored the tags and read this expecting the age thing to be played for laughs. It is a perfect set up for comedy shenanigans, after all
Having gotten this far, I'm surprised no one has commented about Sunset pronouncing the F word with a 'B'.
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Logic being that the adults don't want to correct her and the kids don't know enough about swearing to correct her.
There's something missing
I hate the English language too
Does the fact that Sunset already knows what an Id is imply the existence of a pony!Freud?
Regardless, I'm loving this so far. I apologize if I end up leaving a lot of comments as I read through the series lmao. Always nice to find something really, really long to read. :)
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Haha I've wondered about the pony!Freud thing as well. It was the simplest way I could think to explain that when she's calm and collected she can think like an adult, but when something happens that makes her frazzled she acts like a kid. But yeah, maybe there's a pony!Freud out there lol
And no reason to apologize at all, please, I love comments! Leave as many as you want, I'll look forward to them all I hope you enjoy this series, glad you're liking it so far!
oh how the turntables.
now there’s the hate-filled pre-redemption Sunset we know and love!
great psychologist name
hehe very fun
Sunset doing a really good job at sounding like an alien simulating the appearance of a human child
dang English is annoying even to Ponish native speakers despite the two languages being nearly identical!
dang Sunset, you really owned those six-year-old children! just completely trolled them
the idea of a seventeen-year-old Sunset Shimmer taking this much joy in bullying literal children definitely, uh, illustrates her personality lol
ahahaha oof, though Sunset having no idea how to talk to children is relatable
i gotta say, that is a lot to drop on a patient who is also supposed to be another literal child with problems of her own!
that is a sick burn lmao
Oh, boy....In a certain way I begin to feel a certain presence of Grimdark
<3!!!