• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
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She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.


Twilight Sparkle never knew just how much she wanted to adventure with her mentor. Until one day, that adventure is thrust upon her. Now, she can't wait for it to be over.

Like any seasoned adventurer, Princess Celestia forms a party of capable, credible threats. Shining Armor as the handsome tank, a damage sponge like no other. There is a grey vizard to do all of the morally objectionable stuff that Princess Celestia would never sully her hooves with. With the aid of Twilight's snark, Princess Celestia leads the way to recover Moon Rose, a foalnapped filly.

Together, they face the Fortress of Egress.

A doorway into the Weedverse.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 130 )

Utterly panicked, Twilight’s wings sprang out, unleashing a minor windstorm indoors. The piles of paper on her desk quivered, the bastions of bureaucracy, the bulwarks of beadledom, all of it teetered in the most alarming way.

I have it on good authority that this story was written so that one word could be tossed in.

An otherwordly romp? Sounds delightful!

Those tentacles better keep their suction cups to themselves...

The magic it radiated made her feel uncomfortable, her fingers tingled, her skin prickled,


Wat indeed. Fixed.


By the tingling of her fingers.
Something tent'c'ly this way lingers.
Open doors, and madness pours!

Looks like Twilights a warrior princess at heart. Looks like Spike is screwed no matter what he does, lol.

Shorts are comfortable and easy to read

Twilight. Dim. Shining. Celestia. Oh this is going to be /awesome!/

It was imposing, intimidating, and wearing it made Twilight feel very much like a badass—though she would never, ever admit this to anypony.

Why not admit it? That sounds awesome.

Shining Armor cast his clever gaze around, as if seeking his schoolmarm’s approval. “Otherworldly tentacles. I’ve played enough Ogres and Oubliettes to know where this is going. I don’t have good saving throws versus otherworldly tentacle attacks.”

:rainbowlaugh: That's hilarious. Good thing he knows his weaknesses.

Luna’s foyer

Should I be worried about the rest of the house?

That is a legitimate reason to write a story in my book.

I love sharing my shorts with you.

At least you didn't say 'dropping my shorts on you'.

This is a short.

So, just 20 chapters or so?

She (Twilight) could only watch as the plotted points of data that formed a beautiful curve continued to rise.

         . :H@@@MM@M#H/.,+%;,
      ,/X+ +M@@M@MM%=,-%HMMM@X/,
     -+@MM; $M@@MH+-,;XMMMM@MMMM@+-
    ;@M@@M- XM@X;. -+XXXXXHHH@M@M#@/.
  ,%MM@@MH ,@%=            .---=-=:=,.
  -@#@@@MX .,              -%HX$$%%%+;
 =-./@M@M$                  .;@MMMM@MM:
 X@/ -$MM/                    .+MM@@@M$
,@M@H: :@:                    . -X#@@@@-
,@@@MMX, .                    /H- ;@M@M=
.H@@@@M@+,                    %MM+..%#$.
 /MMMM@MMH/.                  XM@MH; -;
  /%+%$XHH@$=              , .H@@@@MX,
   .=--------.           -%H.,@@@@@MX,
   .%MM@@@HHHXX$$$%+- .:$MMX -M@@MM%.
     =XMMM@MM@MM#H;,-+HMM@M+ /MMMX=
       =%@M@M#@$-.=$@MM@@@M; %M%=
         ,:+$+-,/H#MMMMMMM@- -,

         Now these points of data
          Make a beautiful line.
          And we're out of beta,
         We're releasing on time.
         So I'm GLaD I got burned,
    Think of all the things we learned,
    For the ponies who are still alive.

Twilight’s tongue slipped out as she did battle with a strap beneath her belly. The damnable thing was slippery, and located in a rather difficult to reach place. This would be so much easier with telekinesis. She tried not to think about the fact that she was getting dressed in front of her brother, which was weird for some reason, and she did not wish to ponder the reason why.

The idea to use something NOT magic resistant to manipulate directly something magic resistant didn't get to her,hm? Like a pair of pliers, a glove or something ^^;;;

She has no formal armor training, like her brother.

This was intentional on my part. I wanted to show that Twilight doesn't quite know everything, and that there are things she struggles with.

I thought that it would make her relatable. :twilightsmile:

Questing with Celestia!

“I do not!” She didn’t, did she? If she did… that’d be embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as the time she put her gown on backwards and Rarity had to help her fix it. She hated wearing armor, as it pinched and bunched in unmentionable places. Heaving a sigh of defeat, she hung her head and surrendered.

It might pinch less if you put it on right.

I salute your shorts, sir.

The magic it radiated made her feel uncomfortable, her fingers tingled, her skin prickled, and there was a strange, weird fire in her hooves that made her want to dance around.

Now READ carefully and tell me if you found what's wrong here.

That was fixed yesterday. Not sure why or how you are seeing it.

As dangerous as Dim i- oh. Oh, I see. I get it now. This is perhaps the only party they could make for this place, but it's also the worst. That's the trick, isn't it? Your best is also the worst. Twilight's ever-inquisitive mind would naturally ask Questions of a place like this, making her a danger to them as the local reality is perception-based, it seems. Dim has the right powers to handle things here, but it's too much of a playground, he can easily lose himself here. Celestia wears so much mental armor because she has so many things to hide under it, including things which may easily become weaknesses to exploit, from all of her regrets, and the Secrets she knows. Shining seems relatively uninitiated in all this sort of thing, and likely provides some local-reality stability due to his normally very orderly mind and however his shields are special - but given how tetchy he is about his family he might be the one most easily emotionally manipulated.

'cause i am special like that

I'm already getting a feeling of danger from just this, and not even from the illithid.

Dim probably seems like the most dangerous thing here, and not just to mind-bending horrors.

I like the fact that they're cracking jokes while the world changes around them, it makes sense that it would be a way to...combat the terrors of a modular reality. If you make a joke about something it isn't as scary, and if your thoughts are humorous or in high spirits then they would affect the world in a way you can deal with better. I imagine falling into your own head too far, case in point Shining Armor closing the walls around them, would be a very real and very dangerous problem but if you're making jokes it's harder to focus on how bad everything is, if your mind is full of horror then the world will reflect that and make everything worse.

The interactions are pretty fun because of that as well, I laughed when Dim monologue about Celestia being fat...with regrets. The setting here is really interesting and I can't wait for the next chapter.

“My. Brain. Hurts.” Shining Armor spat out the words one by one, all while shaking his head from side to side.


I can't tell if this is a D&D campaign or an actual adventure at times. Which can only mean you are doing an amazing job.

I'm curios about some of the doors mentioned. The one Twilight is familiar with that Celestia wants to protect I assume is the EQG world, seeing as that is where Sunset is and I don't think this current version of Twilight is particularly familiar with other worlds. Unless this is post Ink, in which case it might have to do with that?

The vampire world eludes me however. I'm not sure if we've dealt with any vampires in the verse so far. Possible some of the rats were vampiric?

The rats are vampiric, to a degree, and that power was taken from somewhere.

Did Dim just mindfuck that creature?

Fuck might be too kind a word.

Man, this is great. I suppose Twilight will think twice before declairing boredom in the future?

Also holy shit Dim :twilightoops:

The story is Dim and quite Dark, that's all i need. :trollestia:

a somewhat shy Pinkie Pie poked her pink head out.

This new data point should alleviate Twilight's boredom for at least an hour.

I would expect Twilight to be a sorcerer/wizard. With Wisdom as dump stat.

Definitely more wizard, given her penchant for studying spells. Depending on the system we're using, probably some archetype or prestige class. Possibly a template for alicornization, and, post Inkening, Divine Level Zero at least.

Twi's class is "Magic, Arcane", as compared to a wizard, sorceror, warlock, etc.. Definitely not any of the divine classes. Throw in the knowledge of a bard, sprinkle with archmage metamagic, take away her books and let her simmer for an hour.... :trollestia:

I guess when you're walking through a waking nightmare seeing Big Bad Sunzooka tooth might not be such a big surprise.

Snarcmage? Mystic something or other she taps into arcane, Devine, and other magic so..

Scooby. Definitely Scooby.

That might not even be their Pinkie, either of them, considering the place is a multiversal kaleidoscope.

Perhaps there's a world out there where everyone is Pinkie Pie.

I wonder if that was a real adventuring party, or someone somewhere playing D&D or O&O. Or both, somehow.

Which only reinforces my point, that Twilight won't be bored. For at least an hour...

“Dim… this is a weapon of mass destruction. I almost drank from this.”

I mean, she did steal his hat and rummage around in it.

You can collect screams in a jar by making sure it is a jarring scream. I think most banshee screams would qualify.

Now I'm wondering if Celestia knew, what she would find in the hat :trollestia::twilightoops:

You put a scream in a jar in the same way as TV companies create canned laughter, of course.

That's just plain rude.

Seems fitting Dim keeps a jar of super screams in his hat, I mean where else would you put it?

One wonders how one collects a scream in a jar...

When I was a stinky little kid, I once fart into a jar to see if I could catch the smell. And it worked. I imagine Dim can do something similar with sound.

This is another fun side of Celestia!

9450936 A vizard's hat is sacred, 'tis true.

Let's see. Last chapter raised some disturbing thoughts about Peter Pans shadow. This one has the little cat-dog as a lich. Oh what is next. Scooby finds out that his great grandfather was named Baskerville? Please continue Sensei.

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