Sunset Shimmer, personal student of Princess Luna, was never one for Friendship or much of anything that didn't involve drugs, sex or rock and roll. She was ordered to off to Ponyville to manage the Winter Night Festival, in the hopes that a week of detox would set her back on an upstanding path.
However, not all goes as planned when Luna's sister, the tyrannical despot Daybreaker, escapes her imprisonment within the Sun and returns to destroy Equestria. Accompanied by a motley crew of local ponies, Sunset must work to save Equestria, and maybe even make a few friends along the way.
Edited by: Amorous, Mr Salespony
Inspired by: The Elements of the Crystal Empire, Ghost BC's Absolution
Chapters (9)
I like the direction you're going with this, but the aggression I personally feel is heavy-handed, including the tribalism.
Not to mention everyone being okay with it. But if this is a Disharmony theme, then I guess I can see it, but that's not the vibe I got from the description.
Not to say that'sbad, I am glad to see it's not just a generic retelling, I'm loving the full re-casting you did.Alright, I'll keep an eye on this. Let see where it goes.
-Captain Absolution
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Places, I assure you.
This is great, but I do have one thing (and I am maybe being a hypocrite here) and that is that the story feels too fast-paced.
Great story!
Hey, would you continue with Crystal Apocalypse?
9421129
Will do. Glad you took an interest in it.
And cue the blood-curdling screams...
Well, that escalated quickly.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
;LSHFA IAG;LSFGOAHGOG AOEUGRHSGDH
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER
So, Luna should quit now?
Well, this is certainly an interesting twist on the formula. Thus far, we seem to have the Elements of Bloodthirst, Unflappability, and Cunning. And Sour Sweet may qualify as Pragmatism. Eagerly looking forward to further trials.
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Thank you kindly. I sort of wish I actually picked those names for the Elements.
Wait, when did Sunny say Daybreaker had made her an offer? I don't remember that.
9430481
Back on the bridge, when she was standing around.
9430489
I just looked back. I didn't see Sunny telling Sunset Daybreaker spoke to her.
9430494
It gets clarified in the next chapter.
9430596
Then why didn't you actually put in that conversation instead of bringing it up out of the blue and confusing everyone?
9430601
Because that honestly hadn't occurred to me, okay? I'm tempted to go and do that now though.
Something heard in some variation at D&D sessions the world over.
In any case, that timely ascension may mean that Sunset won't stay dead. Now the question is how long it'll take her to come back. (And yeah, if you call back to foreshadowing when you execute a twist, you'll want to actually include said foreshadowing.)
Yeaaaah, this could've been set up better. Some of it, like the inverted trials and Sunny's command spell, you pulled off well. Other bits come out of left field, like the propaganda and Equestria's international relations. And while Sunny would hardly make for a good traitor if we could see it coming, the lengths she went to rather than just openly talking to Sunset are Starlight Glimmer-tier back-asswards thinking. It's kind of understandable, but still pretty darn ridiculous... though insecurity is rarely, if ever logical.
Also, didn't all the crops in the world die several days ago at this point? And that's putting aside icecap flooding. As Sunny noted, the approaching sun never stopped being a thing.
This was wonderful. Everyone knows that truly, most often kindness and generosity and honesty just make you lose. Luna’s choice if Discord’s elements is more practical. And fun.
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Thank you very much.
Huh. Well, it's not like Elements of Discord are going to have a "restore sanity" setting. Now the question becomes how bad the damage was while Sunset reconsituted herself.
...the hell? Where did all this come from? It’s all out of nowhere
And fuck Sunny. This was unforgivable
So…Right back to the sun? Where is the absolution in that?
And are they going to arrest or execute Sunny for her treachery? I mean, she’s a traitor once, twice even, she might do it again
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The getting absolution bit comes in the next part man. Whether or not Sunny is punished depends on how much of Equestria is still alive.
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Well done on that, by the way, 'heroes.' Great job saving the world!
Ghost b.c reference is much appreciated
A review.
As stories of Bearer Sunset and ponified Shadowbolts go, this one had a real vision. A deeply misequinopic vision, but a vision nonetheless. You didn't just skin the dickeads and parade the classic Mane 6 through the first two eps wearing their hides. I found it entertaining, even if the mean-spiritedness got tedious about halfway through. I like my asshole characters to convince me to like them before they show their worst colors, but Sunset was just a bastard all the way through.
You threaded the Crystal Prep kids into Ponyville lives pretty seamlessly. I never felt like they slipped further out of character than was warranted by a grimdark comedy take on the setting, but then, it's not like five out of six Bearers had more of a character in EqG beyond a single dialogue affect.
Grammar and pacing issues have been pointed out by others; I feel no need to retread that ground.
All in all, it's interesting, especially when I see similar character extrapolations here that I came to for my Sunset/Shadowbolts AU and the deja vu decks me in the face.