• Member Since 10th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

leeroy_gIBZ


Call me Leroy. Some time ago, never mind how long exactly, having little or no sense in my brain, I began to write. PM me if you'd like a story reviewed!

T

Sunset Shimmer, personal student of Princess Luna, was never one for Friendship or much of anything that didn't involve drugs, sex or rock and roll. She was ordered to off to Ponyville to manage the Winter Night Festival, in the hopes that a week of detox would set her back on an upstanding path.

However, not all goes as planned when Luna's sister, the tyrannical despot Daybreaker, escapes her imprisonment within the Sun and returns to destroy Equestria. Accompanied by a motley crew of local ponies, Sunset must work to save Equestria, and maybe even make a few friends along the way.

Edited by: Amorous, Mr Salespony

Inspired by: The Elements of the Crystal Empire, Ghost BC's Absolution

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 30 )

I like the direction you're going with this, but the aggression I personally feel is heavy-handed, including the tribalism.

Not to mention everyone being okay with it. But if this is a Disharmony theme, then I guess I can see it, but that's not the vibe I got from the description. Not to say that's bad, I am glad to see it's not just a generic retelling, I'm loving the full re-casting you did.

Alright, I'll keep an eye on this. Let see where it goes.
-Captain Absolution

This is great, but I do have one thing (and I am maybe being a hypocrite here) and that is that the story feels too fast-paced.

Great story!

Comment posted by Lemon Zest deleted Jan 25th, 2019

Hey, would you continue with Crystal Apocalypse?

9421129
Will do. Glad you took an interest in it.

And cue the blood-curdling screams...

9421818
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
;LSHFA IAG;LSFGOAHGOG AOEUGRHSGDH
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER

Well, this is certainly an interesting twist on the formula. Thus far, we seem to have the Elements of Bloodthirst, Unflappability, and Cunning. And Sour Sweet may qualify as Pragmatism. Eagerly looking forward to further trials.

9428768
Thank you kindly. I sort of wish I actually picked those names for the Elements.

Ri2

Wait, when did Sunny say Daybreaker had made her an offer? I don't remember that.

9430481
Back on the bridge, when she was standing around.

Ri2

9430489
I just looked back. I didn't see Sunny telling Sunset Daybreaker spoke to her.

9430494
It gets clarified in the next chapter.

Ri2

9430596
Then why didn't you actually put in that conversation instead of bringing it up out of the blue and confusing everyone?

9430601
Because that honestly hadn't occurred to me, okay? I'm tempted to go and do that now though.

“Can both of you please stop dicking around? If you really want to come back here and the loot the place, go ahead. But let’s do that some other day, when our lives aren’t at stake!”

Something heard in some variation at D&D sessions the world over.

In any case, that timely ascension may mean that Sunset won't stay dead. Now the question is how long it'll take her to come back. (And yeah, if you call back to foreshadowing when you execute a twist, you'll want to actually include said foreshadowing.)

Yeaaaah, this could've been set up better. Some of it, like the inverted trials and Sunny's command spell, you pulled off well. Other bits come out of left field, like the propaganda and Equestria's international relations. And while Sunny would hardly make for a good traitor if we could see it coming, the lengths she went to rather than just openly talking to Sunset are Starlight Glimmer-tier back-asswards thinking. It's kind of understandable, but still pretty darn ridiculous... though insecurity is rarely, if ever logical.

Also, didn't all the crops in the world die several days ago at this point? And that's putting aside icecap flooding. As Sunny noted, the approaching sun never stopped being a thing.

This was wonderful. Everyone knows that truly, most often kindness and generosity and honesty just make you lose. Luna’s choice if Discord’s elements is more practical. And fun.

Huh. Well, it's not like Elements of Discord are going to have a "restore sanity" setting. Now the question becomes how bad the damage was while Sunset reconsituted herself.

Ri2

...the hell? Where did all this come from? It’s all out of nowhere

And fuck Sunny. This was unforgivable

Ri2

So…Right back to the sun? Where is the absolution in that?

And are they going to arrest or execute Sunny for her treachery? I mean, she’s a traitor once, twice even, she might do it again

9521960
The getting absolution bit comes in the next part man. Whether or not Sunny is punished depends on how much of Equestria is still alive.

Ri2

9522114
Well done on that, by the way, 'heroes.' Great job saving the world!

Ghost b.c reference is much appreciated

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