The Elements of Absolution

by leeroy_gIBZ

Over corpses

Okay, I had not figured the Everfree was a forest. As far as I knew, the place was a castle. Apparently said castle was inside the forest because that’s totally a wise and tactical place to stick the capital city of your nation. Hanging around the entrance with me were the usual suspects, Sunny and Sugarcoat and their vaguely memorable friends. At least, I think they’re friends. Didn’t care to ask.

“Alright, Sunset, do you have a plan or do you propose we walk in there are get torn apart by two manticores and a Zebra?” Sugarcoat said.

“Of course, I have a plan. I always have a plan.”

“Good for you, now stop being a cryptic shithead and tell us what it is.” Sour said.

“We find the castle. We get the Elements. We use said Elements to put Daybreaker back in the Sun.”

“Nice, a simple plan.” Lemon Zest said, a gratingly cheerful grin on her face.

“She was being laconic, dearie.” Sunny said.

“For a simple mare. What if we’re ambushed, or the Alicorn tries to stop us? Then what?” Sugarcoat asked.

“Then I bust its ribcage open with this!” Indigo said, hoisting a spear. “You got any other stupid questions, teach, or can we go and save the world?”

“Go ahead. It’s only our funeral.” Sugarcoat said, staring into the jungle. We followed on hoof, the low branches and clusterfuck of spiderwebs making it impossible for the Pegasi to fly.

The Everfree Forest was surprisingly cool. Not in a trendy way or whatever, I normally wouldn’t be caught dead in here, but the trees were close enough to blot out the Sun. Which was good, because I think I was starting to get sunburnt and I’m named after the bloody thing. Sugarcoat looked like she was about to melt.

We walked for what felt like hours, the other mares bickering about irrelevant bullshit, making it hard to hear our own hoofsteps. Or anything else’s. I had no idea what kind of creature lurks in this place, and I wasn’t about to find out either. Sunny had the prudence to actually pack something useful, a lantern, and that managed to illuminate the shadowed and gloomy paths decently enough for us all to see. Good thing she had it too because my horn was the only part of me that still felt like it was on fire after escaping the café and Sugarcoat didn’t look too much better herself, panting and puffing as we navigated the undergrowth. She’d taken a position at the back of our line, with Indigo and Sour hacking through the plants with a halberd and meat cleaver respectively. Come to think of it, why the heck does that Pegasus even have a cleaver? We are vegetarians after all.

A ragged screech settlement Sour and Lemon’s argument over their preferred genre of music. Screamo was on the list, and it apparently came attached to some kind of giant buck-toothed lizard with a pair of wings and balls of fire for eyes. It was twice as tall as me, covered in a combination of bits of dead forest creature and dull green scales and it lunged for Sunny.

I threw up a Shield spell, causing another spike of pain to shoot into my skull. The Jabberwocky’s claws scratched uselessly into the cyan wall and it burbled in anger. Indigo whipped around her weapon and stared the beast down. Sour joined her and Lemon and Sunny cowered behind Sugarcoat’s own magic shield.

The creature circled around the clearing on all fours, limping slightly from where its knife-like claw bashed against my magic. Sour lunged at it, kicking off the forest floor and swinging at the thing’s neck with her cleaver. I heard two cracks as Sour smashed into a tree on the opposite side on the path. The first was the Jabberwocky’s tail breaking the sound barrier. The second was Sour Sweet’s leg and the limb bent so far to the side that it scraped her cutie mark.

The monster whiffled and pounced. I managed to teleport aside just as its jaws snapped close. Reappearing behind Sugarcoat, I grit my teeth and starting channeling more magic. The other Unicorn’s face was twisted in concentration, the ponies behind her staggering back as I popped into existence. Indigo batted off the beast’s next swipe with her halberd, giving the Jabberwocky a good cut across its arm. Sour Sweet stayed down.

“What the? What is that thing?” Lemon said.

“Jabberwocky. Didn’t you read the poem?”

“Uh, no. Should I have?”

“It was very pretty but rather hard to understand. Perhaps we ought to run instead?” Sunny said.

“Probably a good plan. Haul ass and I’ll find you later. Let the adults handle this, alright?” I said, seconds before Sugarcoat’s barrier gave out and the Unicorn nearly collapsed to the floor.

“I’ll go too. Good luck. I think you’ll need it.” She said, following after the other mares.

I turned back to the Jabberwocky. It traded blow after blow with the Pegasus soldier and neither of them looked to be enjoying the experience. Indigo’s peach fur was coated in dozens of cuts and gashes from where the monster’s jaws had bit her and its claws had caught her. I chucked a Stun spell. For once, the azure ray hit its mark, the fire in the lizard’s eyes momentarily dulling as the thing lurched forward, right into Indigo’s spear.

“Finally! Eat shit and die, you stupid manxome cocksucker!” She said, drawing the point out the thing’s chest, ramming it again afterward.

Said thing being mostly dead by this point, I went to check out Sour. The mare was still breathing, at least. Unconscious and with an ugly gash running the length of her shoulders, but alive. I put together a Healing spell after calling Indigo over.

“Kinda busy right now, Shimmer! This thing ain’t gonna fuck up itself!” She shouted, hacking at the Jabberwocky’s corpse.

“General piece of advice, Birdbrain, if it's in more than six pieces, its dead!” I yelled back.

“I’m not taking chances. These Everfree shitheads don’t like staying down.”

“I think its down. Stop stabbing it and go get the others and let’s keep going.”

“You do it. I’m gonna carve my name in it.”

“I can’t do it because I’m trying to stabilize Sour. Quit playing around and start helping.”

“Fine. You boneheads are always telling us what to do anyway. What’s another order going to hurt?” Indigo said, holstering her spear and starting back down the dark line of stone.

I kept pumping magic into Sour. By now, some color had returned to her cheeks and her legs were mostly pointing in a healthy direction again. I doubt she’ll be running any marathons but, hey, that’s why she’s got wings. After another few minutes of that, the pain started to interfere with my vision. I shut off the horn and took a step back. Everything was in the right place. Not bad.

Sour flicked open an eyelid, “Not bad? Aww, that so sweet, stop checking me out, you pervert!”

“You nearly died. I saved your life and glued your spine back together. If I want to look, I’ll look.”

“Yeah, maybe look at something else before I stick my knife up your ass.”

“Glad to see you’re alright too. Listen, Sour, the others are almost back, let’s just stick a pin in this argument and revisit it when a madpony isn’t trying to cook us alive. That look okay to you?”

“Fine. But you’re still banned from Chevelle Café.”

“Like I wanted to visit that smoking lump of rubble anyway.”

Indigo returns triumphant, an exhausted Sugarcoat literally in tow, her tail wrapped around Indigo’s spear. Following them were Sunny and Lemon, looking offensively surprised that Sour and I were still standing. After depositing the schoolteacher, Indigo immediately galumphed back to the Jabberwocky and decapitated it.

Once that grisly stunt was over, the six of us returned to walking through the tulgey wood. The cold I had been enjoying started turning to ice as the canopy above grew thicker and thicker, darkening our surroundings until only the pinpricks of dull light from my and Sunny’s lanterns remained.

“Oh my, this place is rather creepy. After that horrid monster, I’m not too sure how much more of this I can take.” Sunny said, frowning and staring nervously at the trees.

“Stop whining, you’ll live. Probably. Statistically, nopony has actually ever died in the Everfree.” Sugarcoat said, her breath finally back. I guess that her name applies more to her choice of desserts than her attitude to life.

“Yeah, but nopony’s ever returned from this place, either. And I don’t like those odds.” Lemon said, trying and failing to keep the fearless smile on her face.

Indigo sniggered, “Guess we’ll be the first then. Captain Indigo Zap and her loyal team of heroes.”

“Captain?” Sugarcoat asked, “I thought you were a private?”

“Hey, I am totally getting a promotion after we kill Daybreaker. And once I do, I am hanging this in my office!” She said, showing us the severed Jabberwocky head. It had her name carved into it. Sunny screamed and jumped back. Lemon bent over against a tree and tried not to throw up. That thing was nasty.

“Indigo, your name doesn’t have a Y in it.” Sugarcoat said, “Besides, Shadowbolt Captains don’t even have offices. My father was one and he spent most of his nights sleeping beside his soldiers in the barracks.”

“Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting that your father is Nimbostratus. How did a stallion as cool as him make a mare as lame as you?”

“Well, when a mother and a father love each other very much, they-”

“I get it, alright? Indigo’s a moron, can we please continue?” Sour said, stamping her hoof so hard the icicles on a nearby tree jingled.

“No, no, keep talking, Sugarcoat. I haven’t heard this one before.” Indigo said.

I tried to stifle my laughter. This was getting good. The Pegasus was like, what, twenty and she still didn’t know how sex worked?

“Hey, I’ve got a joke,” Lemon said.

“That’s nice. You know that jokes are like fetishes, right?” Sugarcoat said, her breath fogging in the wintry cold.

“What? How in Tartarus does that work?”

“Well, for starters, you can keep them to yourself.”

“Hey! It was a good joke, Sugarcoat. Try to lighten up for once, okay?”

“I’ll lighten up once the Moon rises again. Can we keep going, please?”

Might as well. We kept walking, and a few minutes later, I heard another scream. My blood ran colder than the forest. It was Lemon. She wasn’t where she was supposed to be, in front of Sunny and behind me.

She kept screaming, crying and pleading and begging for help and generally blubbering about how awful clowns were. Which actually made quite a bit of sense, considering one of their breed had got her by the leg, jammed it between two slices of bread and was preparing to have it for lunch.

“What. The. Shit.” Indigo said.

“Help!” Lemon cried, struggling against the clown's grasp.

Now, I have always liked clowns. They’re funny, in a goofy slapstick kind of way. I actually lived with a circus for a while, before Luna took me in, but that’s neither here nor there. Looking at this ugly bastard, I stopped liking clowns. Yeah, even you, Mr. Bozo, the stuffed jester that most certainly does definitely not sleep under my pillow.

The stallion was big, nearly as tall as the Jabberwocky, with a curly blue afro, a shiny red rubber nose and a mouthful of fangs that looked better on a lion. It looked up from the Lemon sandwich and laughed.

“Hey, Sunset?” Indigo asked, “You think if I stab it with my halberd, balloon animals will come out?”

“Go crazy.”

Indigo obliged, and charged forward with a war cry that sounded more like a scream than like real Ponish. She missed, the clown ducking under the blade and hopping up to tickle her on the wings. Indigo screamed, struggling and writhing as the clown did its work. Soon though, her screams turned to cackles as she started crying from either the laughter or the pain. Just as Sour reached it, the clown dropped Indigo to the ground, leaving the Pegasus to twitch and giggle.

Sour swung at it with her cleaver. I moved behind a tree and winced as my horn lit up. The clown apparently dodged again because when my vision cleared, it had Sour pinned to a tree and it was singing her a lullaby. I felt kind of sleepy and I could barely hear it over the thrum of my spell charging up. Sour and Sunny though started blinking slowly, swaying back and forth. Just as the clown finished up its indecipherable song, both ponies stumbled to the ground, fast asleep.

It was me and Sugarcoat left and I wasn’t too keen on those odds. The clown turned to me, galloping forward, wearing an evil grin beneath its makeup. Just a few more seconds and I’d be blasting its pasty white ass into the sky.

I never got that chance. The stallion screeched to a halt right in front of me, nullifying my Blast spell unless I also fancied being turned to ash. It took a deep breath and then whispered something, almost too softly to hear.

“Hey, check this out.”

Against my better judgment, I let the magic go, and looked at the clown. I was staring back at myself, only worse. That Sunset was decrepit, coated in filthy and wrinkles. Patches of her mane, now a sickly yellow and bloody red, were falling out. The hair draped over her eyes which were clouded over and ringed with years of too much drink and too little sleep. It smiled and what few teeth it had were chipped and rotted like black tombstones. Worst of all though was its horn.

My horn was gone.

I screamed, wrenched my eyes shut, shielding them with a hoof, backing away into the undergrowth. Thorns scratched me. So what? I was going to be that, one day, hideous and useless and alone. Branches clawed me. I didn’t care. I was going to die anyway. This is hopeless. All of this. Every last single Bit I have will be gone, along with my looks and talent. And then what? Where will I go? What can I do? I don’t have any friends. Fuck, Smolder only hangs around because she’s forced to. And it's not like Sunny would take me in either, she only cares about me because I’m hot. And then I won’t be and I’ll die.

“Stop whining. Believe it or not, I actually care about you. Sure, you are attractive and you are a far better magician than I could ever be and I’m little jealous. But you’re brave, Sunset. Braver than all of us. It was your idea to stand up to Celestia, not any of ours. And that isn’t going away, no matter what she takes from you. So shut and stand up and help murder this clown!”

I opened my eyes, blinking away the tears. There was Sugarcoat, glowering and covered in streamers being half-heartedly groped by the clown. The stallion was way smaller than before, with a limp afro and blunted fangs. It frowned despondently as it grumbled insults.

“What do I do?” I asked. That felt weird to say.

“Help me blast it with magic. It isn’t actually real. The clown’s just an illusion, probably some kind of guard dog created by the Zebra that lives in this place. Just Dispel it and we all should be alright.”

“Okay. Okay. I think I can do that.”

“Of course, you can do that, Sunset. You aren’t Luna’s personal student because you have a nice pair of flanks, you’re her student because you’re good at magic. On three.”

“Alright, sure. One-”

“Twothreego!” Sugarcoat said, her horn lighting up with a pink fire. I pushed magic into mine as well, directing the clown away. It wasn’t real. The things it said were not true. I am Sunset Shimmer, and I plan on taking out Daybreaker, one way or another. Then I’m going to drink a tankard of beer, screw somepony, and apologize to my pet Dragon. Probably not in that order though. The clown screeched as our magic hit it, fading and shrinking until only its rubber nose remained.

“Good job. But don’t tell anybody I actually complimented you. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.” Sugarcoat said, a tired smile flitting across her face.

“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. But don’t frown all the time. You actually look sort of cute when you smile.”